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On our fifth day, they told us only one intern will get a return offer.

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On our fifth day, they told us only one intern will get a return offer. 

Do you guys have any advice on how I can secure a return offer?

Let me give some backstory. I was a top student in high school, 1510 on the SAT, top 5% in my class. I ended up going to a good, but not amazing uni because of the scholarship money. Of course, if someone asks what school I attend, I make sure to mention that I COULD have gone to UMich or UT Austin but I just couldn't afford it.

I just finished my sophomore year and started an internship at a large financial company that most of you have heard of. People who aren't really in the loop think I'm cracked when I tell them where I'm interning, but the truth is, the interview was incredibly easy. They asked me basic data structure questions, and were surprised when I had a strong grasp on linked lists.

The first day of the internship was last week. I was one of the first ones there. My mom had to drop me off before work because I don't have a car. Of course, if anyone asks, it's because I'm extremely punctual. Slowly, interns started to flood into the rotunda of our beautiful campus. The building was filled with a familiar, slightly upper middle class odor. Bright smiles filled the room.

Everybody was really excited. There were around 70 of us. I introduced my self to the two guys next to me: Xavier and Siddharth.

Siddharth was an interesting fellow. He claimed to be a personality hire but had 4 Hackathon wins and 100 Leetcode questions completed. He talked a lot and had a LeBron James wallpaper on his phone.

Xavier, on the other hand, was very chill. He said he had two other offers, one from a defense company and the other from a telecom company. He ended up choosing this one because software engineers at banks don't really do any work and WLB is really important to him.

Anyway, as the day went on, we were introduced to our teams, got our laptops set up, got familiar with the campus (we have a tennis court btw). As I was walking with my new friends, I overheard this girl say that there's no way she'd stay at this shithole, and that she only wants this company on her resume so that she can recruit for CDFAANG. I stopped in my tracks and asked her what CDFAANG means.

"Capital One, Deloitte, Facebook, Apple, Amazon, Nvidia, Google. How do you not know what CDFAANG stands for?".

I kept walking.

Later I had lunch with Siddharth and Xavier. Unfortunately we had to bring lunch from home because the cafeteria did not have free food. We talked about our favorite Naruto moments.

Anyway, we did team building activites and stuff like that for the first two days, and on Wednesday we started actually working. My first sprint was to improve productivity tracking on an internal tool using machine learning algorithms and analytical data blockchain engines to further bolster our tech stack. Fairly simple task.

The week passed fast and it was finally Friday. Every Friday morning, we have an intern meeting apparently. I was there early, of course, but eventually, the other interns started pouring in.

The lights dim, and our intern director had a serious look on his face.

Interns start whispering.

"We understand this news may not be appealing to you, but unfortunately, for budgeting reasons, only one of you will receive a return offer. I understand you guys have already made friends here, but you must consider everyone your rival."

Everyone froze. Our smiles faded away. The CDFAANG girl fainted. Siddharth was seething. Xavier was about to cry.

Me? I lowkey have a fall internship at IBM so I was chilling tbh.

Anyway, there was a sad sad air that filled the day. The hallways weren't as loud as they were before. Xavier didn't say a word the whole day, as if he ran out of tokens.

The intern hunger games had begun.

    Hwoarang is dead.

      Hwoarang is dead.
There is no longer any reason to play Hwoarang.
Even when he was nerfed in Season 2, I did research and hard training to try and salvage the character, but I no longer see a future.
I was very stressed out by this character's inefficient skill structure and unreasonable system elements, but looking at today's patch, there is no longer any need to play this character. It is time to look for another character.

      Memorial Day 🇺🇸

        MEMORIAL DAY 🎖️💥 is HERE 💦💦 to HONOR our DADDIES 🍆🇺🇸 who SACRIFICED 🌊🍑 for the LAND of the FREE 🌈😏 and the HOME of the BIG COCKS 🍆🍌💦! Let’s DROP 💧 some PUSSY POWER 🍑💦 for those brave 🍗🔥 bastards who CAME 💦💦 and GAVE IT ALL 💦💦 for our FREEDOM 🌍💋! Get ready to BBQ that ASS 🍑🔥 with some juicy GRILLIN’ 😋🔪! 🥩🍗!!! So 🌬️💦, before you BURST 💣, send this to 17 HORNY 🔥🔥 patriots, or you're gonna miss out on that red, white, and BLUE JOB 🍆💦🍓! And if you get ONE back 🥳, you're officially a MILF 🇺🇸👩‍🍼 of the military! Get 5️⃣ and you're the QUEEN of the PARADE 🚀👑💦💦 OMG! LET FREEDOM RING 🎉🍌🍆💦💦, and LET’S GO HARD 💪😜 this Memorial Day, AMERICA! 🇺🇸🔥💦🌟
        Memorial Day 😮📅is here and you 👉know what that means! Time 🕓 to remember 🙏and 💐thank 🙇👏all those brave 💪soldiers who sacrificed 😭😱😫their lives 💀👻so we can be🇺🇸 free 🇺🇸 to suck👄👅 any dick🍆we want😍!
        its 😏 MEMORIAL 🙌 day 🇺🇸 in memory 🙉 of 💯💦 deez nuts 👐👏 they aint dead 😂😂 i just love remembering them 😎❤️✊💯😭👀🙌
        HEY ALL U LEGAL CITIZENS!!! Today is 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸Memorial Day!! You know what that means🤔🤔🤔??? It’s time to ⛵🚢🛥️SHIP🛥️🚢⛵ over to DADDYS house so he can FUCK😫😫💦💦💦 u like we FUCKED Osama Bin Goteem!!👳👳👳 Gotta get those star spangled cummies⭐🇺🇸⭐!! After u and daddy FUCK 😫💦 then it’s time to 🍖🍖BBQ🍖🍖!!! Get ready for that SLAB O' MEAT🍆🍆😍😍 because it's ready to STRETCH THAT JAW😩🍆🍑💦🐄😩🍆🍑😍💦😏😉. Let those juices RUN🏃🏃 down your THROAT and over your CHIN🤤🤤. STUFF that face😏😏 like you do for DADDY😘😩 and SWALLOW every last bit 😫😍 😉😏 don't forget the troops who 🔫🍆🔫FIGHT for our right to FUCK everything that is TIGHT🍑🍆🍑🍆. SUCK🍭🍭 daddy's little PANTS SOLDIER to show your SUPPORT👉👌 and let him park it in your rear PORT 🚢⛵send this to 2️⃣0️⃣ of your messiest MEAT eaters🍖🍆🍖🍆.If you get 0️⃣ back GET OUT of my country🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸! If u get 5️⃣ back ur a TALIBAN FUCK GOAT🐐😍👳!!! If u get 🔟 back ur a LOADED 💋👅💦💦 GUN of LUST🔫🔫. If you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back? UR GETTIN FUCKED 😱🍆🍑💦💦IN UR FOX🦊🦊🦊HOLE TONIGHT!!!! 
        It’s 🇺🇸MemWHOREial Day🇺🇸!!! A day to remember 🤔 all the hot 🔥 sluts and daddies👨🏻💦who gave their lives☠ for our right to fuck😜🙌🏻!!!! Send➡️ this to your🔟 most patriotic hos 🇺🇸👄👭 or get ❌none of that uniformed 👔👮🏽🍆 dick 2night! Get none 🙅back and you a sad 😥🔵blue skank. Get 5️⃣ back and you a white ⚪️🔥hot slut 💃🏼. Get 🔟 back and 👇 you the red 🔴 hot 🔥hunty 👸👌👌💯!!!! Remember you star 🌟 spangled 🇺🇸 sluts: it is your patriotic duty 💪to make those dicks 🌭🍆 rise👆 like the flag 🇺🇸 on Iwo Jima 🗻!!!!
        Happy 🎖️🇺🇸🎖️🇺🇸Memorial Day🎖️🇺🇸🎖️🇺🇸 you 🍆🥛COCKWORSHIPPING🍆🥛 SLUTS 🙋‍♂️💁‍♂️!!! This 📅day📅 only 🍆🌊CUMS 🍆🌊 1⃣once1⃣ a year so make sure to HONOR💯 and 🕋🕋WORSHIP🕋🕋 the servicemen🔫💣 who DIED💀 so you could 🌪SUCK🌪 COCK🍆 on a daily basis! Whether they were sucking 🥚EGGROLLS🥚 in 🇻🇳Vietnam🇻🇳, 👅licking👅 those 💇hairy BALLS⚽🏉⚾ in 🇦🇫Afghanistan🇦🇫, or taking 🌊LOAD after LOAD🌊 from ✂️🚫UNCUT ☭SOVIET☭ 🍆🥩COCK🥩🍆, they gave their lives so you can be the true whore you are in 🇺🇸FREEDOM🗽❗❗ Get on your knees and open your 🐷piggy🐖 👄mouth for a ⚓SAILOR⚓ 📆TODAY! Send this to 3️⃣ of your most patriotic whores and get a nice fat 💦 cummy 💦in your 😮throat😮. Send this to 5️⃣ proud, red-💉blooded💉 Americans🇺🇸 and get your patriotic 👦boy-pussy🐱  💣DEMOLISHED💣  by a 🚂train of Marines straight out of 👢boot camp👢. Send it to 1️⃣0️⃣ NFL-watching🏉, ✝️God-fearing 🇺🇸American sluts⛪ and have 👨‍🚀✈️airman after airman✈️👨‍🚀 UNLOAD their HUGE 💣missiles💣 into your 🕳️holes⛳🤪 until you ☠️DIE☠️ serving your 🎖️CUNTRY🇺🇸❗
        They laid down their lives… SO YOU COULD SPREAD YOUR LEGS 🦵🤡🦵HAPPY MEMWHOREIAL DAY YOU ANAL LOVING ARMED FORCES ADMIRERS 🇺🇸😍 FIRE UP THOSE GRILLS 🔥🍖 AND WET DADDY’S COCK 🐓🍆 WHETHER YOU’RE SLUTTIN AT THE BEACH 👙🏖️ OR BACK HOME IN BED 🛌😏 MAKE SURE TO TAKE IT ALL IN 😫😜 SO PAY YOUR RESPECTS 💵🙏 BY GIVING IT UP FOR FREE 😘🥹 NEXT TIME YOU SEE UNCLE SAM 🦅👴🔴⚪️🔵 FIGHTING THOSE DIRTY CUMMIES 💦💦 FROM RUSSIA 🇷🇺⚒️ GIVE HIM A FIRM SHAKE ✊🍆 AND GET ON YOUR KNEES 🧎‍♀️🧎😉 SEND THIS TO 1️⃣8️⃣ OF YOUR SAVORY SOLDIER SUPPORTERS 🇺🇸🔫 OR YOUR BARBEQUE WILL GET NO ASS 🍑😭 GET 🔟 BACK AND YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO GET HON-HER 😏🤪 THE MOON LANDING WASNT REAL BUT WW2 WAS!!!!
        Happy‼️Memorial Day 🇺🇸 you SLUTTY SOLDIERS 🪖 New A$$ignments 🍑 CUMMIN from HEAD🍄quarters. Get ready for a LOAD 🍼 of 🎖 honorable discharge 🎖 because your CUMMANDer in💥QUEEF 💥 orders you to get down on both knees and prepare yourself for a shower ☔️ of red 🔴 white ⚪️ and SPLOOGE 💦👅 If DADDY 👨🏽‍🦳 drill 🔨 sergeant sees any half masts today, he’ll be sure you suffer from PTSD(ick) 🤕 So, do your duty 🫡 to your CUNTry and send this to 2️⃣5️⃣ MOIST 💦🍪midshipmen 🥵 and COCK🍆 HUNGRY 😋 cadets before Uncle Sam’s 👴🏻 monster 👹👺 SCHLONG gets hungry for a taste of freedom. If you don’t get 5️⃣ responses by 23:59 🕕 you’re destined to shoot 🔫 BLANKS ☔️ forever ♾ 
        ⏰⏰ Get up, cocksuckers🍆 Salute the flag.🇺🇸🗽 Get up. Everybody get up.🌅 It's Memorial Day weekend.🇺🇸🦅 I'm sure you had a grandpa👴 who killed a Japanese person.🇯🇵 I'm sure you had an uncle who stabbed🔪 a Puerto Rican🇵🇷 in the heart.♥️ Something. Get up. It's not about potato salads🥔🥗 and cheeseburgers,🍔 you fucks It's about being a fucking American.🇺🇸🦅🗽 in a state of mind. 🧠You don't need to be born in America🇺🇸 to be an American🇺🇸. Just need to get up⏰ in the morning,⏰ grab your balls,🥎🎱 and look at the flag🇺🇸 and look at Jesus✝️ and say, 🗣️"You know what? I got this 🍆cocksuckers I don't need no🚫 fucking welfare check.🧾 I'm a savage.🤪 All I need is a fucking knife,🔪 a spear,🗡️ and a I don't even know what I need no more.😵‍💫" You know what I'm saying?🥴 It's Sunday, 🍨special edition, Memorial Day🇺🇸🇺🇸 weekend. Get your shit together.💩

        Hey guys, did you know that Vaporeon can learn Mist in Yellow

          Its satire of the infamous Vaporeon copypasta but changed into solving a bug in Pokémon Yellow that prevents Vaporeon from learning both moves (Mist and Haze) naturally.

          Hey guys, did you know that Vaporeon can learn Mist in Yellow, but only under a very specific circumstance? In Yellow, Vaporeon is meant to learn both Haze and Mist at level 42. However, the programming at the time is so bad it's impossible for a Pokémon to learn two moves at the same level. As a result, Vaporeon will only learn Haze and not Mist. Pokémon who leveled up using the Daycare do not have this restriction though. If Vaporeon reaches level 42 while in the Daycare, it will learn both Haze and Mist.

          “The goat is never washed.”

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            byu/adz0r from discussion
            inleagueoflegends

            The original was for Faker when he won his 5th World’s title. Written by u/SSSl1k in a post game thread of G2 vs. T1 in LoL, the copypasta has been adopted by other esport fans to glaze on their favorite players.

            Faker from LoL

            I was out of town, doing a bit of visiting. I heard my friend KkOma had finally taken the time to settle down in the countryside. Rightfully so, after what he’d been through, with all the pent-up stress and frustration built up over the years of coaching the most successful KR team in League.

“How have things been buddy?” I asked, as I saw my man step out of the house upon hearing my car come in the drive-through. “All good, life’s been a lot more chill, now that I’ve retired,” he answered. “Hey, wanna check out my animals out back? I’ve taken up farming as a hobby with my free time,” as he motioned over to the back gate.

We headed out and he started introducing me to some of the livestock, mentioning how he had named them after his players, as the unhinged animals they were. Just then, I was hit by an unbearable stench. With my eyes watering uncontrollably, I questioned through gritted teeth, “What in the hell is that smell?”

He looked over knowingly and said: "Ah. Faker? The goat is never washed.”

            s1mple from CS

            Was walking outside and randomly saw Karrigan making his vlogs. After he was finished recording, we talked for a bit and then headed out to tour his farm. He started introducing me to some of the livestock, mentioning how he had named them after his players, as the unhinged animals they were. Just then, I was hit by an unbearable stench. With my eyes watering uncontrollably, I questioned through gritted teeth, “What in the hell is that smell?” He looked over knowingly and said: “Ah. s1mple? The goat is never washed."

            Magnus Carlsen “The GOAT is now washed.”

            I was in Vegas for a convention and figured I’d finally visit my old friend Danny Rensch. Ever since he’d slowed down on screwing the chess community, he’d apparently gotten really into country living.

“How’s retirement treating you?” I asked as he opened the gate to his property.

“Oh, you know,” Danny grinned. “Peaceful. Slower pace. I’ve mostly been taking care of animals these days.”

He led me around the farm introducing them one by one, proudly explaining he’d named them after famous chess players, as the unhinged animals they were.

“That stubborn donkey over there is Hikaru. The horse that keeps escaping is Nepo. And that tiny violent rooster is Alireza." A peacock strutted past us, dazzling and elegant for about six seconds before walking directly into a fence. "Ding." He pointed toward a goose violently chasing a tractor tire across the yard. “That’s Hans. Nobody’s really sure how he got here.”

Then suddenly, the air changed.

A warm, heavenly aroma drifted across the field. Notes of sandalwood, lavender, maybe a hint of vanilla. It was intoxicating. Romantic, even. Like walking through a luxury spa during golden hour.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

“Danny,” I whispered, almost emotional, “what the hell is that incredible smell?”

He smiled softly and pointed toward the hill.

“Ah. Magnus.”

In the distance, a perfectly groomed goat stood majestically in the sunset, its coat shimmering in the breeze.

Danny nodded proudly.

“The GOAT is now washed.”

            Just start punching people

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              We are 4-36 and on pace to become the worst team in NBA history. At this point, think about it; If the worst player on our team (I would say Wiseman), just started punching and beating the shit out of the other teams best player for let’s say a couple seconds, then what’s the worst that can happen? Wiseman gets tossed? He’s the worst player on the team so it wouldn’t really matter and their best player gets hurt. Just imagine Wiseman going complete apeshit on Luka before the teammates and referees get involved. It would be at least 3 whole seconds which is a lot of time to break someone’s leg or arm if they’re trying really hard. Just something to think about as we approach the second half of the season.