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mwzera appreciation thread

    Its an old Valorant copypasta back in 2021 that started from an appreciation post in vlr.gg for the player ‘mwzera’. Back then mwzera had insane stats in deathmatch and pubs but never got signed to any T1 team leading fans to speculate on a what if scenario if he ever got the chance. 

    STATS

mwzera https://tracker.gg/valorant/profile/riot/VK%20mwzera%234324/overview?playlist=competitive&season=all
cNed https://tracker.gg/valorant/profile/riot/ACE%20cNed%23carry/overview?season=all
TenZ https://tracker.gg/valorant/profile/riot/SEN%20TenZ%230505/overview?playlist=competitive&season=all

DEATHMATCH STATS
mwzera - 86% win rate (thats the insaniest thing ive seen in a while)
cNed - stats not availiable
TenZ - 73% win rate

RANKED STATS
mwzera - 66.3% winrate (MVP of 95% of the matches) proof here https://imgur.com/StiJmpg
cNed - 53.5% winrate (MVP of 13% of the matches)
TenZ - 60.4% winrate (MVP of 15% of the matches)

can you take your time to appreciate how insane mwzera is? without a doubt the most talented player to ever touch the game

I'll try to explain briefly why I think he is the best player in the world
Despite his insane aim and movement
The best way to know if a player is a good duelist is RAZE. There is a BIG difference between a good duelist and a jett abuser
If he is a good duelist, he needs to be good with raze.

heat? not good with raze
aspas? not good with raze
xand? not good with raze
tenz? not good with raze
cned? not good with raze
scream? not good with raze
d3ffo? not good with raze
derke? not good with raze

Thats why I think he is undoubtely the best player in the world. If RIOT by any means decides to nerf jett and shift the meta we prolly not gonna even hear names like cned and tenz again :>
He is not killing 40+ per map because when he joined VK he was forced to play a different role because heat is already a main jett... and lets be honest, every single duelist nowadays gets 20+ kills per map because team and setups are basically built around you (even steel managed to get 20 kills with it https://www.vlr.gg/29398/sentinels-vs-100-thieves-champions-tour-north-america-stage-3-challengers-playoffs-gf/?game=46692&tab=overview)

    Anissa vs Atom Eve butt analysis

      source

      The people in r/okbuddyviltrum were discussing whose ass is better betwen Anissa and Eve from Invincible and someone cooked.

      Do you really want the alternative?

Anissa is a loyal Viltrumite. Given her proclivities, and generally how Viltrumite culture works, their reproductive habits do seem to be structured around a eugenics approach to sex. Anissa has no concept of it being immoral to force herself on someone else, while Nolan does, meaning that Nolan probably only learned about this concept from his time on alien planets. It seems rational to presume that, given Viltrumites don’t really do recreation at all, sex for them is traditionally something done purely for the sake of reproduction or to establish dominance. Given that they don’t seem to have been trying to birth a new generation from their limited gene pool, given that Nolan has been gone for ages and the number of Viltrumites hasn’t changed, we can presume that’s off the table. So Anissa is likely a virgin. Frankly, who is she going to fuck? Nobody there seems like a logical match.

Eve meanwhile dated Rex. Furthermore, she also came from a highly conservative household that she hated and is extremely rebellious against. Eve and Mark smash pretty early on into their relationship, and they do so quite frequently. So, Eve probably has had a lot of sex with at least one other person, Rex. Rex has been established to be into shower sex, and shower sex is not the best time to use a condom due to the complicating factor of hot water. Plus, it’s spontaneous, which means having one on hand is unlikely. Eve and Mark are established to use condoms, and that didn’t work out well, so Eve absolutely is not on birth control. So, Eve has likely done a fair amount of anal with Rex in the showers.

Thus, if we’re evaluating Anissa and Eve based on the criteria of ass, Anissa is likely to have the tighter asshole, while Eve is going to be the more experienced buttslut. However, given that we’re human beings, Anissa having a tighter asshole is a very bad thing. Anissa is likely sexually inexperienced, and so is liable to have her muscles tense at Viltrumite strength. Her asshole is going to be a flesh guillotine. So you really should not fuck Anissa in the ass if you wish to keep whatever you stick in there intact.

So, Eve is absolutely the better choice both on skill and the fact that Anissa would cut it off without even meaning to. Frankly, you’re unlikely to even be able to get it in Anissa’s ass unless she is totally relaxed and lubed up.

Note: this is presuming you can even get it inside Anissa’s ass. A virgin asshole with Viltrumite strength? There’s a good chance that even with lube, even if she was as relaxed as possible, it would be physically impossible for any human to be strong enough to get past the sphincter.

      Am i the only one who goons to geometry dash (not the women) levels?

        source
        Am i the only one who goons to geometry dash (not the women) levels?

NOT A COPYPASTA. REAL STORY.

I used to be asexual and aromantic, since I think everyone looks just as okay and I find no romantic interest in talking to people. Porn is just downright disgusting for me. But whenever 1 watch good gameplay, I get uncontrollably erect and can't resist the urge to start masturbating. I want to know that is it just me who masturbates to gameplay from geometry dash? Or do other people do it as well? Just look at QDYNAMIX and tell me you DONT get hard at how satisfying the gameplay is????? I need answers.

No, I am not talking about geometry dash girls like the girls in Aperture or Muse Dash. I meant the pure, raw gameplay

        It’s 4/20 today 😳🤗

          Happy 420 you STONER SKANK💅🏽!!! Make sure a BLUNT🌳🌳🌳 isn’t the only thing you wrap your TENDER LIPS👄👅 🍒around today😏. Get HIGH 💨💨💨today and get your mans DICK🍆🍆😋😝 even HIGHER😍💦💦. Make sure you SWALLOW 😮😮that edible to practice ❤️❤️❤️SWALLOWING😻🙌🏽👅 a monster cock! Remember: the only way to make 4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣ even BETTER 😫😫😫is by adding 6️⃣9️⃣! Send this to all of your stoner sluts👀👀👀. If you get NONE back you get stoned to death😵😲! If you get 5 back your a HOT lil nug🌳🍁. If you get 20 back you’re the ULTIMATE STONER SLUT 🔥
          Happy 420!!🌿🚬🚬 This is the 420 blunt 4⃣2⃣0⃣ If I'm being BLUNT 🚬 U one of my main hoes 😘😈😂😂 and a hot lil NUG 🌳 I'm trying to WEED🍃🌿🍀 out the bad friends so if you're a GOOD 😎😂😂😌 friend, send this blunt 🚬🚬 on to 10 of ur best friends😱😱👬👫 If u get five back from your BUDS 🌿🌿🍀 then ur GANJA(gonna)🍃🍃😂😂😂 be friends forever.
          Spanky-spank u STONER SKANK👂👀👂if you look on ur 📅colander🗓 it’s 4/20 today 🤑🤑😏😶 and u know what that means 😶😅😂420 years ago 👵⏪🕐a ☮️HIPPY✌️🔮🐕 invented C A N A B I S☘️🌿🌳🌴 but the 🙏MAN UPSTAIRS 📿👨🏻🏘☁️😇 didnt like that 😡🤬🤯 so he sent him to 🔥🔥HELL🔥🔥🎇 Butt unlike ➡️YOU⬅️ I listened 👂 to my MAMA🤰☺️ So while y’all WRAP ur LIPS 👄🚬💨 round the ☄️👹DEVIL’S👺🤡👿 LETTUCE 🥬🌳🌱☘️🌲 n get phat 🐳 from SWALLOWING 👅🤤 those EDIBELS 🍪🍩 Ill be catching up 👋 on my ⛪📿B I B B L E STUDIES📿⛪ and strengthening 💪💯 my 💋💓RELATIONSHIP💓💋 with the LORD 🏳️‍🌈✝️🌈🛐🙏🙋🏻‍♀️😌 Send this 📩 to 6️⃣9️⃣ of ur HIGHEST H🅾️ES 💃🔥🪁 if u get 🔟 back ur a SMOKIN lil nug 🥵🔥💦🥇 get 5️⃣ and your a BIG BLUNT BITCH 🤑🚬💨🌱 but get 0️⃣👌 and you get STONED 🚬🔥🚭 to DEATH ☠️😵😹😱
          Spanky-spank 🍑👋🏻 You STONER SKANK 💁🏻‍♀️👂👀👂if you look on your 📅calendar 🗓 it’s 💚4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣💨 today 🤑🤑😏😶 and you know what that means 😏😅😂......420 years ago 👵⏪🕐a ☮️HIPPY✌️🔮🐕 invented C A N N A B I S☘️🌿🌳🌴 but the 🙏MAN UPSTAIRS 📿👨🏻🏘☁️😇 didn't like that 😡🤬🤯 so he sent him to 🔥🔥HELL🔥🔥😳🎇 Butt 🍑unlike ➡️YOU⬅️ I listened 👂 to my MAMA🤰☺️ So while y’all WRAP your LIPS 👄🚬💨 round the ☄️👹DEVIL’S👺🤡👿 LETTUCE 🥬🌳🌱☘️🌲 and get phat 🐳 from SWALLOWING 👅🤤 those EDIBELS 🍪🍩 I'll be catching up 👋 on my ⛪📿B I B L E STUDIES📿⛪ and strengthening 💪💯 my 💋💓RELATIONSHIP💓💋 with the LORD 🏳️‍🌈✝️🌈🛐🙏🙋🏻‍♀️😌

HA! GOT YOU 🫵🏻 BITCH 🤣😆🦹🏻‍♂️ We 😶‍🌫️ getting Blazed 😤🔥😤🔥 and our BOOTY 🍑🕳️ HOLES 💢⭕️ GLAZED 🧁🤤 Hop in the car 🚗💨 and ride this DiCK 🍆💦🤤 on the way 🔜 to the dealer 💸🧙🏼🤝⚖️🍂 and grab a POUND ⚖️ of that ZA💚❤️‍🔥👯‍♂️ And Remember 🧏🏼 to leave blunts 🚬 out for Snoop Dogg 🎅🏾💚🎅🏾💚 so he can stuff 🧸 your 🅱️ONG with that Sour Dick-siel 🍂🔥🔥💁🏻‍♀️🍀🍃

Send this 📩 to 6️⃣9️⃣ of your HIGHEST H🅾️ES 💃🔥👯‍♂️👯‍♂️🔥💁🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️🪁 If you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back you're a Pothead 😤Princess 👸🏼 dripping 💦💦 in THC ⚗️⚛️ Get 🔟 back and you're a SMOKIN lil nug 🥵🔥💦🥇 Get 5️⃣ and your a BIG BLUNT BITCH 💁🏻‍♀️🤑🚬💨🌱 ...but get 0️⃣👌back and you getting STONED 🗿TO DEATH 🥌BITCH 🚬🔥🚭 ☠️😵😹😱
          PUFF PUFF PASS! This is a cellular blunt so don’t mess up the rotation keep this stuff movin’ til the whole world hits it! Happy 420!!🌿🚬🚬 BLAZEEE ITTTTTT. This is the 420 blunt4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣ If I'm being BLUNT 🚬 U one of my main hoes. 😜😉😘 I'm trying to WEED 🌿🍃🌱🍁out the bad friends so if you're a GOOD😂😝😎🤑friend, send this blunt 🚬🚬 to ten of your best blazing bros👫👭👬 if you get 5 back from your BUDS🌿🌱🍁then ur GANJA (gonna) be blazing bros and best friends forever 🚬🍁🌿😜
          Happy 🕠 420 ☝️ to the coolest 😎 stoners 💯 and pot 🗿 heads out ☮ there. Blaze 🔥 🆙️ ⬆️ those 🌴 trees and 🖕 fuck the 👮‍♂️🚔 po po❗ Make sure 🙊 to have 🌮🍕🍖🍗 munchies 🍝🍦🎂🍩 ready because 🚬 this 420 😤 comes once 🎈 every 💯 thousand 🗓♻️ years! So cheef 😱 the 💪 fattest 🤜🤛 doofers 🌬 and keep 🙈 those 👀 eyes blazed 😲 and 😑 barely 🛒 open! 🤙 Namaste 🕉 Blaze 🇨🇬 🚼 Babies!
          🎉🍃 Happy HOLIDAZEEEE 🎉🍃 you STONER 🥴🔥 SLUTS 🍑😜It's time ⏰ to ROLL UP 🌿💨 and get BLAZED 🔥🍃💦 time to let that🔥🔥🔥🎉 grass get GRAZED! 😏✨ Grab your BONG 💨🍑 and pack that fat 🌬️💚 ASS BOWL🌈🍆💦, ‘cause we are baking 🍪🍑 all night long 🎶😏! Don’t forget to PASS that BLUNT 🚬💨🔄 to your favorite POTHEAD 🛋️🧸, who's ready for some serious PUFF PUFF PASSION 🍑💦🛌! Let’s get STONED 🤪🌳🍃 and HOTBOX 😶‍🌫️ so hard we come out needing a DETOX🥵 💨, 'cause tonight we’re GETTING HIGHER 🌌👀🔝 than a KITE 🪁👌! And don’t forget the MOST IMPORTANT person we are celebrating TODAY😤…the one without whom we couldn’t enjoy this BEAUTIFUL DRUG 😮‍💨 been there through all HIGHEST HIGHS and ˡᵒʷᵉˢᵗ ˡᵒʷˢ your beloved PLUG 🔌 If you're feeling FRISKY 😈🌿, send this 🌟💚👀 to 4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣ of your SEXIEST stoner friends, or you might just end up with a ROACH 🌿💔🔚 instead of a FATTY J💦 for your MARY JANE consumption! 😘🙏💚 HAIL to the KUSH 🔥✨ and let’s burn one down 🚬 on this beautiful SPRING DAY 💚💦🌿 
          💥HEY💥 👈👉all you👈👉🤑🍏🥦CANNASLUTS🥗🔋💚 HAPPY WHORE 2️⃣0️⃣ dont👊 let the 🦠WHORENTINE🦠🤮STOP 🛑 u from SHOVING 😈 a WHOLE BONG 💨🌬up your 🥤JUICY 💦💧STONER 💨🍑ASS 🍑💨 🛑if you're not🛑 FUCKING 🍆🍆a PLANT 🌿🌱🍃or SUCKING 👄👅a BONG 💨💨you're doing it WRONG🤬🤯 📤📬send 💌 this blessing 🙌🙏to 2️⃣0️⃣ CANNASLUTS 🍃🥦🍆and 🔥🔥dank nugs🔥🔥 will 💨 appear💨 🛑 IGNORE 🛑and have 🤮😰DRY BONG PUSSY🤢🤧 for 4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣ DAYS 🌞👀👀💜💜💜🌙🌙🌙
          🌿💨 HAPPY 4️⃣/2️⃣0️⃣ YOU SMOKY LITTLE SLUTS 💨🌿

That’s right 🫵 it’s the HOLIEST 🙏 day on the STONER CALENDAR 📅🌿 and your BOWL 🫧 isn’t the only thing getting PACKED 😩💦 and LIT 🔥 today!! MOTHER NATURE 🌍💚 has been GROWING 🌱 that THICK 😍 DANK 🌿💨 STICKY 💦😩 goodness ALL YEAR LONG just so you could PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH 👅😤 and INHALE 😮‍💨💨 DEEPLY until your EYES 👁️ roll back 😩🌿 and your LEGS 🦵 stop working!!

It’s time to PASS 🤲 that SHIT 💨🌿 to the LEFT 👈 because the only thing better than HITTING IT 😩💨 alone is HITTING IT 🍆💦 WITH FRIENDS 👯‍♀️😈!! Get that WET 💦 STICKY 😩 GREENERY 🌿 between your LIPS 👄 and take the BIGGEST FATTEST RIP 💨😮‍💨 of your LIFE 🌱!! Let’s get BLUNTED 💨🌿 and MOUNTED 🍑😩💦 until you can’t tell which way is UP 🌿💨😈!!

SMOKE EM IF YOU GOT EM AND FUCK EM IF YOU DON’T 💨🌿🍑💦😩!!

          Anti 4/20 copypasta

          Happy 😁🍃 420 🌿 y'all. The 👉 only 🙅‍♂️😤 blazing 🔥 I do 👌🙋‍♂️ is the 🔥blazing🔥 of the 🙏Holy Spirit 🙌 Can I 👆 get an AMEN? 🙏🙌💯
          it's 4/20 today 😳 😱 but I'm not smoking weed 🌿 🍁 😏 🚬 I'm smoking 💨 😜 the bible 😇 🙏 📕 because heaven ⬆️ 😍 👐 😂 is the highest you can get 🙌 😤
          While y'all 💨🚬smonking🚬💨  the 😈devil's😈☘ lettuce☘ and celebrating 🚫HITLER'S🚫 🎂🎂🎂birthday 🎂on 👽 4/20 👽I'll be catching up on my ⛪📿BIBLE STUDIES📿⛪ and 💪strengthening💪 my💋 💓relationship💓💋 with the 🛐🌈LORD AND SAVIOR🌈🛐
          It's 4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣today😳😱but I'm not smoking weed 🌿🍁😴😏🚬I'm smoking💨😜the Bible😇😋🙏🏼📕because heaven⬆️😍👐🏼😂is the highest you can get🙌🏼😤
          Today 📅 is 4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣..... but I will NOT🙅🏻‍♀️ get high 🍃🍁. The only thing that will be high ⬆️ is my grades 📕💯 because I’m a good, good child 💁🏻‍♀️

😂😂😂 YEAH RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS!!! 😈😈 Happy 420 you Stoner SLUTS 👅👅👅 !!! Make sure a BLUNT🌳🌳🌳 isn't the only BIG BROWN 😵 thing you wrap your TENDER LIPS👄👅 around tonight!😉. Get HIGH 💨💨💨today and get your mans D**K🍆🍆😋😝 even HIGHER😍⬆️💦. Make sure you SWALLOW 😮😮that edible to practice ❤️❤️❤️SWALLOWING😻🙌🏽 a monster COCK! 💦💦👅👅 Remember: the only way to make 4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣ even GREATER >> is by adding 6️⃣9️⃣! 🧜🏼😱😱 Send ⏭ this to 🔟 of your favorite 😏 STONERS with BONERS 👀👀👀. If you get NONE back, 😢 you get stoned to death😵⚰️! If you get 5 back, you’re a HOT lil nug🌳🍁. If you get 20 back or more, you're the ULTIMATE STONER SLUT 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
          💢💢💢😠😠Honestly if I see 👀👀👀 one 👆👆👆 4/20 🌿🌿🌿post I'm deleting you off Facebook😠😠😠💢💢💢. I do not🙅🙅🚫 wish to associate myself🙋🙋 with those who celebrate🎉🎊🎉 the consumption of a very DANGEROUS 😵🔫😵🔫😵🔫AND ILLEGAL👮🚔🚓🚔 DRUG. 🌿🌲💉💊Kids should not be glorifying👼👼 this atrocious 👿👿 habit, especially to consider it a "holiday." Christmas📿🙏😇🎄 is a holiday. Easter📿🙏🐰🐔🐣🕊 is a holiday. Why? They're both celebrating our lord📿🙏🙏😇📿 and saviour 🙏🙏♰♱🛐 Jesus Christ🙏🕇📿🕆😇🙏- this is not a holiday.🚫🚫😠😠😠 Stay away🙅🙅 from the devil's 😈👹👺👿herb 🌲🌿💉💊🔫and it's temptation🕇 today guys. Please.📿💞🙏🙏🙏💢💢

          Vaporeon Is Literally Build For Human

            It originally came from an unhinged 4chan post (as is tradition)
            Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
            Vaporeon copypasta

            Related Flareon copypasta with good ending

            In Christian mythology this is known as a J-job and is well established as the only form of premarital sex that is not a sin

              Fun fact: In Christian mythology this is known as a J-job and is well established as the only form of premarital sex that is not a sin.

In the 1500's it was common to masturbate with a hollowed out wheel of cheese. Pope Clement VII officially declared this a J-job so long as the cheese was possessed with the Holy Ghost, formalizing a solemn prayer that could be said immediately prior to orgasm of "Jesus, take the wheel".