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Earth Day 🌍

    ATTENTION 🚨 all you carbon emitting CUM-SQUATS 👣💨 it’s EARTH DAY 🌏 and Mommy Nature 👩‍🌾 is ready to GET FILTHY 💩💦 Forget ❌ recycling ♻️ cans, it’s time to RECYCLE 🔁 that HOLE 🕳️🍑👅 Go out and HUG 🫂 a giant redwood 🌲 until it SAPS 💦 all over your SLUTTY FACE 😵‍💫 and slurps up your SEED 🌰🍼 like a thirsty 👅 sprout 🌱 Greta 👧🏼 is watching 👁️ you with her BUSTY BINOCULARS 🔭 If you aren't 🚫 composting 🥬 your fluids 💦 in a stranger’s 👤 garden 🏡 then you’re 👤 melting 🫠 the ice caps 🧊🐻‍❄️ with that WARM OOAD 🔥💦We’re REDUCING 📉 clothes, REUSING 🔁 holes 🕳️, and RECYCLING ♻️ cum 💦 for the ECOSYSTEM 🌿🦎 Send ➡️ this to 1️⃣5️⃣ of your dirtiest 💩 EARTH BAES 🌎👯‍♀️ or Jeff Bezos 👨‍🦲 will SQUIRT 🍌 420 million tons ⚖️ of CRUDE OIL 🛢️ directly into your NORTH POLE 💈🕳️ Get 5️⃣ back and you’re a RENEWABLE 🔋 RAILS-GIRL 🚂💦 get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and you’re officially a PROTECTED 🛡️ WETLAND 🦆🌊 Stay WET 🌊 for the Great OUT-WHORES 🏄‍♀️🏞️👅💦🌍!! 
    To all 🌍🌿 our eco-warriors 🌱🦸 out there 🌄, We'll cut straight 🌊🔪 to the chase 🏃‍♂️🏁: This Earth Day 🌎🌞🌿, we're urging 📢📣 you 👈 to support 🌱🤝 the fight against climate change 🌡️🌪️❌. To preserve our planet's 🌏🌿 future 🌅🚀, we'll never ❌ bombard you 🚫 with ads 📺📡. Our lifeline 🌍🔌 relies on raising awareness 🌱🌞. Only a small fraction 📉 of our fellow planetarians 🌍 contribute 🤲. If each of you 🙋‍♂️ reading 📖 this could join us 🤝 in preserving our nature 🌱🌊🌿, we could nurture 🌱 the Earth's well-being 🌱🌞 for generations 🌳👶 to come 🌅🌿. The cost 💰 of this plea 🙏 is minuscule compared to the impact 🌪️🌊 of climate change. We understand 🧐 this message 📣 might arrive at an inconvenient 🕐 time ⌚, but 🌿 there's never ❌ a convenient 🕐 moment ⏳ to remind ourselves 🙆‍♀️ of our duty to Mother Nature 🌍🌼. When I 👁 founded this environmental cause 🌱, skeptics 😒🤨 warned me it'd be an uphill battle 🏔️. Years 📅 later ⏳🌿, it's one of the leading initiatives 🌱🌍 preserving our nature, driven by a global 🌎🌍 community 🌿🌏 of champions 🏆. Most may overlook 👀 my appeal 🙏, but 🌍 I trust you'll reflect 🤔 on the vital 🌱 significance 🌊🌡️ of preserving our planet 🌏. Please 🙏 join us 🤝 in the fight against climate change 🌡️🌎 and preserving our nature 🌱🌿. Thank you 🌿.
    Happy 🌎EARTH🌍 DAY you SUSTAINABLE Sluts ‼️👯💃 it's time 🕐to protect 🙅🏽 the ENVIR-WHORE-MENT and daddy nature’s WOODEN wonder🍆 🌲 😉 🌲. That means you gotta trim that BEAVER 🦫 so Daddy AL GORE can plant 🌱 his SEEDS in your POT 👨‍🍳 🪣. But first, Daddy needs to PLOW 🚜 👩‍🌾 🍴 your secret garden 🪴 😉 🪴.  Daddy AL GORE  got me all 🥵 sweaty 💦 and ready ✅ as he plows my fertile patch. 🚜 🌸 🌹. Is that my pussy leaking? 🧐 or is it just the glaciers ❄️ ⛄️ melting from global 🌏 WHORE-ING 💦 😂 😂 😮🫢🤭. Don’t water your flower 🌺 and waste that precious 💦 H20. Let Daddy 👩‍🌾 take care of it 😏 and suck 🍭 that HOSE instead 💦 😂. Send this 💌to 2️⃣0️⃣of your TREE 🌲 FUCKING friends in honor of Earth Day♻️ 🌎.  if you get this 🔙 5️⃣times you’re a garden hoe🌱🌻🌷. If you get this 🔙1️⃣0️⃣times you’re 😏 a SQUIRTING 💦 SPRINKLER 🚿 🌏.  If you get 1️⃣5️⃣ back your pussy is getting REDUCED, ⬇️REUSED 📦 , & RECYCLED recycled ♻️ 2NITE!!! 😂😏
    HAPPY 🌎EARTH🌍 DAY YOU SLUTS ‼️👯💃 ITS TIME 🕐TO PROTECT 🙅🏽 THE ENVIRONMENT AND DADDY NATURE’S DICK 🍆 SO HE DOESN’T PLANT A SEED 🌰👶🏻 IN THAT PUSSY🐱 RECYCLE YOUR TRASH 🗑 BUT DON’T RECYCLE THAT CONDOM👎🏼🙇🏾 GET OUT YOUR HOES AND DIG HOLES 🕳 TO PLANT TREES 🌲🌳 AND GET YOUR HOLE🍑 FILLED💦 CONSERVE WATER 🚱💧 AND SUCK👅 DICK 🍆 INSTEAD SEND THIS 💌TO 22 OF YOUR EARTH BAES IN HONOR OF EARTH DAY♻️ THIS GAYPRIL👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 IF YOU GET THIS 🔙 5 TIMES YOU’RE A GARDEN HOE🌱🌻🌷 GET THIS 🔙10 TIMES AND YOU’RE ON 🔝😏 OF THIS WORLD 🌏
    Happy 😀 Earth 🌎🌍🌏Day! I love 😍💜 saving 🌱🌼🌺our planet✔️♻️📈, but I 🙋🏼 love ❤️💚💙 YOUR TITS 👊🏼👀 more! Thanks 💋👏🏼 for being 😫😍 my 💁🏼 EARTH 🌏 HOE 😏💦🔥 through 😂👉🏽 thick⬛️and thin▪️. Send this on to 5⃣ of your closest 💯EARTH 🌏 HOES 😏💦🔥 for good 👍🏼✨LUCK 🎲 and 🌎 let me plant 🚜 a seed 🌱 in that ass 😏🍑
    🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌎🌍HAPPY🌍🌍EARTH🌏🌍DAY🌍🌍you hippy hoe🍑 this is the day we all suck Mother Earths🌍🌍🌍🌍 😩BIG😩FAT😫THROBBING😩 COCK🍆💦💦💦💦 or should I say rock😂😂😂😏😏😏 make sure you have all your big dick daddy’s plant 🌳🌲their tree into your ground today🍑 by digging a huge gaping hole🍩🍩 (just like my big dicked daddy stanly yelnats and zero) 🍆🍆🍆😫😫😫ground I mean ass🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆 LET ALL THE BIG COCK DADDYS PLANT A SEED IN THAT ASS🍌🍌🍌 the first earth day was in Philadelphia 🌳🌳🌲😩😩😩in 1970 and I want you to FILLadapphia my dripping pussy😩😩😩😩😩😩the earth is getting warmer 🍌🍌and I am getting 🍌🍌🍌hornyer💦💦💦💦💦🙏🏼 reduCUMe reuse, and reCUMycle💯💯💯💯💯 leave your carbon foot print in my ass😩😩😩😩💦💦💦💦💦 send this to all you sexy ass earth loving CUMMIES 😏😏😏😏👌🏿👌🏿👌🏿👌🏿👌🏿 if you get 0️⃣ back your a earth hoeeee 👎🏾 if you get 6️⃣9️⃣ back you are getting some good dick tonight from a earth loving daddy 🍆🍆🍆🍆 if you get 4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣ back your getting Anal 😩😩😩😫😫🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍🌍
    DEAR DICKS 🍆🍆 OUR 💰🏿 PLANET 🌌🌌 EARTH 🌎 IS 🈶🅰 IN 🕕 DANGER OF 👬 BEING 😑📈 RAVAGED BY 😈🏳 GLOBAL WARMING AND ➕ A 👌 LOAD OF 👨 OTHER TERRIBLE ♀ THINGS 🌚👠 SO TODAY 🗓 WE ARE 🏃 PROMOTING ↗↗ ORGASMS NOT OIL BARRENS THE 🐕 BEST 🏼👌 WAY 👟🚘 TO 💦 KEEP 👏 OUR 💰😻 PLANET FRESH AND 😎🎅 CLEAN 🛁 IS 🤔 TO 🤔💦 STAY 💒 DRIPPING DRY FROM 🅱🅱 YOUR 👶 SUNNY 🌞🌞 SIDE 🕵🤝 UPPITY SKANKS 👯 THIS IS A 👌🚟 CALL 📞📞 TO 💦🤣 ARSE 🍑🍑 IN ⬅ SUPPORT OF CLIMATE CHANGE 🔁 YOU CAN HELP 🌽💁 STOP 👮 THE 🙏 EARTH 🌍🌎 FROM 💩😂 SLIDING 🐍 INTO 🚟😂 ANOTHER 🏊🏻 ICE AGE JUST BY 🎨 GRABBING SOME ASS 🍑 AND 👏➕ SQUEEZING IT ✅🙌 PREPARE 👉 FOR THE HOT 🔥 FLOOD, DROP ⚰🏿 YOUR 👨⛵ LOAD 😍 WHILE 🙌 FILLING 💦 UP 🔝 ON FUCKIN’ 👀🏿 WATER 💦🌊 BUCKETS 🍯 TO KEEP YOU COOL 😎🌃 IF 👌👏 YOU DON’T 🚫🙅 GET 🎃 ALL 😝 JIZZED UP 🆙👆 THE NEXT ⏩💕 5 😴 YEARS 📆👍 WILL 😬 SEE MORE 😢💰 FIRE 🔥 THAN 😽😽 ICE ❄
    Hey slut-izens 👉👈of earth🌏, it's time to 😻 celebrate🎉💦 the ball😏 we call home 🐢 so hug🫂 🤗 a plant 🌵 or fuck👉 a tree 🌲today⌚ to show 🥺Mommy Earth 🌎 just how much we🥴love 😫😈😘 to slurp😋  up her💧👅 puddles🫦 😤🤤. make sure🫵 you REDUCE⚠️water🌊use by 🚿 showering💦 with a friend 👯😉  REUSE your 🍑 ASSets🍑 so you never ❌order from 🤢amzn🤮 ever again 🙅and 💚RECYCLE♻️ all those🍦💥throbbing💓 love poems 🪶 to Mother Nature🏔️🌋🪵🌺 😳 save the 🐦 birds and the 🐝 bees 😼😼 send➡️ this to 4️⃣2️⃣2️⃣ hoes 🧐who are WET🌊for the Great 👍 outWHORES🏄🌪️🏞️ and you'll never 🚫know🫠🤭 another dry 🏜️ spell😘😏 if you don't😬Jeff Bezos will👎 squirt 🍌 69 million tons😩 of oil🛢️into the North 💈 POLE 😭☠️ 
    HAPPY 🌎EARTH🌍 DAY YOU HIPPY HOES‼️👯💃
ITS TIME 🕐TO PROTECT 🙅🏽 THE ENVIRONMENT AND DADDY NATURE’S DICK 🍆 SO HE DOESN’T PLANT A SEED 🌰👶🏻 IN THAT PUSSY🐱
RECYCLE YOUR TRASH 🗑 GET OUT YOUR HOES AND DIG HOLES 🕳 TO PLANT TREES 🌲🌳 AND GET YOUR HOLE🍑 FILLED💦
CONSERVE WATER 🚱💧SEND THIS 💌TO 2️⃣2️⃣ OF YOUR EARTH BAES IN HONOR OF EARTH DAY♻️ THIS GAYPRIL👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨
IF YOU GET THIS 🔙 5️⃣ TIMES YOU’RE A GARDEN HOE🌱🌻🌷
GET THIS 🔙🔟 TIMES AND YOU’RE ON 🔝😏 OF THIS WORLD 🌏 
    HAPPY EARTH DAY 🌎🌏🌍 to all u TREE 🌴🌲🌳 hugging SLUTS 💦💦. Be EXTRA nice to all of our ANIMALS, especially the COCKS 🐓🧠 and PUSSIES 🐱👅. Don’t be shy to HUG✊🏼 your man’s WOOD 🍆🍆💦 all DAY long. Get all of your HOES⛏⛏ and let these men PLANT 🌱🌿 their SEEDS 👶🏼 in YO ASS 🍑. Don’t forget to smoke some TREE 🍁🚬 and let yo man STICK 🌴 his GREEN 🟩🟢 FINGERS inside of U 💦🤏🏼👅. Today is about making LOVE 👉🏼👌🏽, NOT ❌ EMISSIONS 💨 so make sure you SUCK 👄 the FARTS 🌬 out of each others ASS 🍑🍑🍑. SEND this to ALL of MOTHER NATURE’s🧑🏼‍🌾🌎 BEAUTIFUL BITCHES 😍🙇🏻‍♀️ and if u only get 5️⃣ back yo PUSSY 🐱 smells 👃🏼 like the OCEAN 🐠🐟🌊. If i get 🔟 back ur HOTTER 🔥 than GLOBAL WARMING ☀️💥. And if u get 2️⃣0️⃣ back 😧, u’ll get PLOWED ⛏ by some BIG WOOD 🌴🍆 TODAY 💦💦

    American Dad – I’m calling from my history class

      source

      AKA the ‘Stan suicide’ copypasta is a scene from American Dad S08E09 where Steve’s dad went on a suicidal rant on the meaning of life when asked who was president when he was a kid. The transcript has been used as a copypasta to troll scammers.

      Oh, I don't know, I guess I think about killing myself pretty frequently. And why not? What's so great about living? You know when I'm happy? For about five seconds in the morning when I first wake up, before I remember who I am and what my life is all about: anxiety, disappointment, diarrhea more often than not. (sighs) I don't know if there's an afterlife, but who cares? Nothingness couldn't be any worse than this meaningless march through my empty days.

      I get physically angry watching Max Muncy hit

        I get physically angry watching Max Muncy hit. This man just doesn't chase. You can almost hear him sneering "that's <0.1" outside" as he takes a ball 2. Two-strike counts don't faze him. Then he'll whip out a hellacious dong on the 9th pitch. He's suffocating. He's Max Muncy.

        zoink-senpai… ohayo gozaimasu!! 🌸✨

          Zoink is a top American Geometry Dash player and a content creator. The copypasta was started by u/Swaayin_ from a shitpost on r/geometrydash.

          IF UR NOT ZOINK STAY BACK

zoink-senpai… ohayo gozaimasu!! 🌸✨
i’ve been hiding these feelings in my kokoro for so long… but today… I CAN’T HOLD BACK MY LOVE ANYMORE 😭💖

zoink-sama… you are my ichiban… my legend… my TOP 1 OF MY HEART!!! 🔥
the way you play Geometry Dash… it’s not human… it’s DIVINE…
every click… every jump… every frame-perfect input…
it’s like watching a god descend into the level editor itself… 😭🙏

when i see you beating impossible levels like they’re NOTHING…
my kokoro goes DOKI DOKI… my hands shake… my soul ascends… 💀✨
you’re not just a player… you’re THE FINAL BOSS AND THE PROTAGONIST AT THE SAME TIME!!!

every night… i lie in bed… staring at the ceiling…
thinking in my thinking space… “what is zoink doing right now…” 😔💖

are you grinding another demon?
are you destroying another top 1?
or… are you… thinking of me too…? 🥺👉👈

onegai shimasu, zoink-senpai… NOTICE ME!!! 😭🔥
i’ve been practicing so hard… trying to improve…
but no matter how many attempts i do… i can never reach your level of play…

you are like a sensei… a kami-sama… a being beyond skill…
and i’m just a humble player… missing easy jumps and crying in practice mode 💀

if you let me be your tomodachi… your kouhai… your anything…
i would treasure it more than a VERIFIED TOP 1 COMPLETION 😭💎

we could play together…
i’ll watch you beat levels while i fail at 12%… and i’ll still cheer like:
“ZOINK-SENPAI SUGOI!!! 🔥🔥🔥”

we could grind late into the night…
you getting new records…
me… getting emotional damage 💀

zoink-senpai… your gameplay is so kakkoi… it makes me want to scream
“SUGOIIII!!!” every time you survive a 0.0001% choke 😭👏

i know i’m just a baka… 😔
but even if i’m stuck at the bottom…
i’ll always be your number one fan… forever… 💖

so please… zoink-senpai…
give me a chance… even just a 0.1% chance… like a frame-perfect jump…

aishiteru… zoink-sama…
more than any demon level… more than any leaderboard…
more than my sanity… 😭🔥

yours forever…
your loyal, delulu, combo-dropping kouhai… 💖💀

          Soup Tube

            AKA the soup tube story is a post from r/relationship_advice back in 2020 where a woman was asking advice on her boyfriend ludicrous idea. Her boyfriend proposed an idea of constructing tubes within the city to deliver soup to customer’s homes on a monthly subscription basis.

            The original post has been removed by moderators but an archived copypasta version can be found on the copypasta sub.

            My (25F) boyfriend (25M) keeps asking me to invest in his "soup tube" business idea, and I am not sure how to deal with it

I have been living with my boyfriend for about 7 months. Two weeks ago he sat me down and presented a powerpoint presentation with his business idea. I knew he'd been working on an idea, but he didn't want to tell me about it until it was finished. Based on his enthusiasm and his prior seemingly intelligent nature, I thought maybe it'd be a pretty cool idea.

Instead he presented to me an idea about "soup tubes". The idea, if you can call it that, is to construct a series of tubes throughout our city that leads to centralized soup kitchens. For a monthly subscription, a customer can "subscribe to a tube of soup", and a tube extension would be built off the nearest mainline tube and directly into the customer apartment or home. Based on subscription level, that would determine the quantity of soup a customer could pour and how many types of soup. The "tubes" are basically the size of pipes, like you might see under a sink, but he insisted that "it MUST be called soup tube, not soup pipe, tube just zings better."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. At first I asked if he was crank yanking me or something, but he was completely sincere. Obviously, the idea is completely insane. The notion that the city would authorize somebody to construct a series of tubes everywhere that carry soup into homes is of course ludicrous. And even if such an initiative were approved, the costs for such an operation would be ridiculous. You would have to charge outrageous prices for customers to install and "subscribe" to a soup tube, and who would pay for such a service when canned soup costs like a dollar or two? Or you can buy soup from a restaurant for a few dollars? I explained these things as politely as I could but he dismissed them and all said that "tube based soup delivery is the wave of the future."

He then asked me how much I wanted to invest, and I told him nothing, and he looked absolutely heartbroken. Since then, almost every day he has asked again for me to invest, and keeps trying to sell me on the idea. He is also doing the same thing to a lot of his friends.

It is starting to drive me up the wall. First, I am at a loss as to how he can believe such a stupid idea is worthwhile, second it is really god damned annoying to be asked on a daily basis to invest in a system of soup tubes, and third I am also concerned for his sanity. Other than his apparent obsession with this though he has shown no other signs.

I would like some advice as to how I can reason with him, or whether I should even continue this relationship.

TL:DR - My boyfriend wants me to invest in a business venture wherein tubes would deliver soup.