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Copypasta related to an internet joke.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

    An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
    
    The first mathematician orders a beer.
    
    The second orders half a beer.
    
    "I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies.
    
    "Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2.
    
    "What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous."
    
    "Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along".
    
    "There are very strict laws on how I can serve drinks. I couldn't serve you half a beer even if I wanted to."
    
    "But that's not a problem" mathematician #3 chimes in "at the end of the joke you serve us a whole number of beers. You see, when you take the sum of a continuously halving function-"
    
    "I know how limits work" interjects the bartender.
    
    "Oh, alright then. I didn't want to assume a bartender would be familiar with such advanced mathematics".
    
    "Are you kidding me?" The bartender replies, "you learn limits in like, 9th grade! What kind of mathematician thinks limits are advanced mathematics?"
    
    "HE'S ON TO US" mathematician #1 screeches
    
    Simultaneously, every mathematician opens their mouth and out pours a cloud of multicolored mosquitoes. Each mathematician is bellowing insects of a different shade.
    
    The mosquitoes form into a singular, polychromatic swarm. "FOOLS" it booms in unison, "I WILL INFECT EVERY BEING ON THIS PATHETIC PLANET WITH MALARIA"
    
    The bartender stands fearless against the technicolor hoard. "But wait" he inturrupts, thinking fast, "if you do that, politicians will use the catastrophe as an excuse to implement free healthcare. Think of how much that will hurt the taxpayers!"
    
    The mosquitoes fall silent for a brief moment. "My God, you're right. We didn't think about the economy! Very well, we will not attack this dimension. FOR THE TAXPAYERS!" and with that, they vanish.
    
    A nearby barfly stumbles over to the bartender. "How did you know that that would work?"
    
    "It's simple really" the bartender says. "I saw that the vectors formed a gradient, and therefore must be conservative."

    “Fabi” Fabiano Caruana

      Its a comment making fun of Sindarov beating Fabi in Round 4 of the 2026 Candidates. Fabiano Caruana (often called “Fabi”) is a top-level American-Italian Grandmaster.

      Last Valentines I forgot to buy a gift for my girlfriend, and as shops were about to close I thought I was doomed. Thankfully, I remembered that when we watched chess, she always said: "I dig that Caruana guy". That way I realized she had long been wanting a choker. 

      Toyota Corolla

        Originated from a Craiglist ad for a 1999 Toyota Corolla back in 2018. People shared how funny it was and it became known as the Toyota Corolla copypasta. The original listing is gone but an archived version can still be found through Internet Archive.

        You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that’s hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.
        
        The 1999 Toyota Corolla.
        
        Let’s talk about features.
        Bluetooth: nope
        Sunroof: nope
        Fancy wheels: nope
        Rear view camera: nope . . . but it’s got a transparent rear window and you have a -blam!-ing neck that can turn.
        
        Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn’t give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.
        
        You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would -blam!-ing start right up.
        
        This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.
        Things this car is old enough to do:
        Vote: yes
        Consent to sex: yes
        Rent a car: it IS a car
        
        This car’s got history. It’s seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It’s not going to judge you like a -blam!-ing Volkswagen would.
        
        Interesting facts:
        
        This car’s exterior color is gray, but its interior color is grey.
        
        In the owner’s manual, oil is listed as “optional.”
        
        When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary, “Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla”
        
        You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey.
        Favorite food: spaghetti
        Favorite TV show: Alf
        Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms
        
        This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It’s as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It’s as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.
        
        When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, “It’s a Corolla. It’s fine.”
        
        Let’s face the facts, this car isn’t going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn’t the car you want, it’s the car you deserve: The -blam!-ing 1999 Toyota Corolla.

        It is prophesized that the Burger King will marry the Dairy Queen

          It is prophesized that the Burger King will marry the Dairy Queen, and she'll have a daughter named Wendy and a son named Carl Junior. And they will have two jesters that will serve them.One named Ronald, who is a clown, and the other named Jack, who lives in a box. they will be guarded by the noble Five Guys. And the head of that army will be Colonel Sanders. On their wedding day, they will be married in their beautiful Olive Garden and forever live in their pristine, White Castle, which has a giant Taco Bell from it

          Ed, man! !man ed

            Its a text editor joke by Patrick J. LoPresti posted on the Free Software Foundation website back in 1991 that satirizes tech elitism. The joke often resurface whenever someone is arguing one software is better over another (usually code editors) when both of them does the same thing and are arguably similar.

            In the old (90s) programming world, there were semi-serious debate over which text editor is the best—primarily between vi and Emacs.

            The joke ignores both of those modern (at the time) editors and aggressively champions ed, which is the absolute oldest, most primitive, and hardest-to-use text editor in the Unix operating system.

            Because ed was created in an era where computers used teletypes (printing on physical paper) rather than screens, it was designed to print as few characters as possible to save time and ink. If you made a mistake, asked for help, or tried to figure out how to close the program, ed would simply respond with a single question mark: ?. It is famously impossible for a beginner to figure out how to exit ed. The author sarcastically praises this as being “prudent enough not to overwhelm the novice with verbosity.”

            Short version

            When I log into my Xenix system with my 110 baud teletype, both vi and Emacs are just too damn slow. They print useless messages like, 'C-h for help' and "foo" File is read only'. So I use the editor that doesn't waste my VALUABLE time. 

            Original

            When I log into my Xenix system with my 110 baud teletype, both vi
            *and* Emacs are just too damn slow.  They print useless messages like,
            'C-h for help' and '"foo" File is read only'.  So I use the editor
            that doesn't waste my VALUABLE time.
            
            Ed, man!  !man ed
            
            ED(1)               UNIX Programmer's Manual                ED(1)
            
            NAME
                 ed - text editor
            
            SYNOPSIS
                 ed [ - ] [ -x ] [ name ]
            DESCRIPTION
                 Ed is the standard text editor.
            ---
            
            Computer Scientists love ed, not just because it comes first
            alphabetically, but because it's the standard.  Everyone else loves ed
            because it's ED!
            
            "Ed is the standard text editor."
            
            And ed doesn't waste space on my Timex Sinclair.  Just look:
            
            -rwxr-xr-x  1 root          24 Oct 29  1929 /bin/ed
            -rwxr-xr-t  4 root     1310720 Jan  1  1970 /usr/ucb/vi
            -rwxr-xr-x  1 root  5.89824e37 Oct 22  1990 /usr/bin/emacs
            
            Of course, on the system *I* administrate, vi is symlinked to ed.
            Emacs has been replaced by a shell script which 1) Generates a syslog
            message at level LOG_EMERG; 2) reduces the user's disk quota by 100K;
            and 3) RUNS ED!!!!!!
            
            "Ed is the standard text editor."
            
            Let's look at a typical novice's session with the mighty ed:
            
            golem> ed
            
            ?
            help
            ?
            ?
            ?
            quit
            ?
            exit
            ?
            bye
            ?
            hello? 
            ?
            eat flaming death
            ?
            ^C
            ?
            ^C
            ?
            ^D
            ?
            
            ---
            Note the consistent user interface and error reportage.  Ed is
            generous enough to flag errors, yet prudent enough not to overwhelm
            the novice with verbosity.
            
            "Ed is the standard text editor."
            
            Ed, the greatest WYGIWYG editor of all.
            
            ED IS THE TRUE PATH TO NIRVANA!  ED HAS BEEN THE CHOICE OF EDUCATED
            AND IGNORANT ALIKE FOR CENTURIES!  ED WILL NOT CORRUPT YOUR PRECIOUS
            BODILY FLUIDS!!  ED IS THE STANDARD TEXT EDITOR!  ED MAKES THE SUN
            SHINE AND THE BIRDS SING AND THE GRASS GREEN!!
            
            When I use an editor, I don't want eight extra KILOBYTES of worthless
            help screens and cursor positioning code!  I just want an EDitor!!
            Not a "viitor".  Not a "emacsitor".  Those aren't even WORDS!!!! ED!
            ED! ED IS THE STANDARD!!!
            
            TEXT EDITOR.
            
            When IBM, in its ever-present omnipotence, needed to base their
            "edlin" on a UNIX standard, did they mimic vi?  No.  Emacs?  Surely
            you jest.  They chose the most karmic editor of all.  The standard.
            
            Ed is for those who can *remember* what they are working on.  If you
            are an idiot, you should use Emacs.  If you are an Emacs, you should
            not be vi.  If you use ED, you are on THE PATH TO REDEMPTION.  THE
            SO-CALLED "VISUAL" EDITORS HAVE BEEN PLACED HERE BY ED TO TEMPT THE
            FAITHLESS.  DO NOT GIVE IN!!!  THE MIGHTY ED HAS SPOKEN!!!
            
            ?