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Simp

Copypasta related to simp or simp culture which means a person who goes above and beyond for someone else in hopes of a romantic relationship.


Why did Larian have to make Tiefling’s so fucking hot?

    I literally cannot take it every time I see their fucking ridges I lose my goddamn shit. It's so fucking distracting when the tieflings show off their extra features and i end up staring for 20 fucking minutes while getting eaten by slimes because of how attractive those fucking side bones are. do you think they work as erogenous zones and so they moan whenever you stroke their hips or ribs or do you think its more like battle armor. do you think they like it when people touch their horns. what about their tails. i cannot stop playing fucking tiefling characters because the second i see the ridges every other thought instantly vacates my brain. i wanna play a githyanki for the proficiencies but i end up playing tiefling and picking the medium armor feat because i cannot stop myself from fucking losing it over their tails. they have claws. they got fucking claws do you know how awesome that is. tieflings were already hot in regular dnd when they just had the horns and tails but then Larian made them the most fuckable race in the multiverse. half of faerun is gonna be half-tiefling because they literally seduce everyone on the continent just by wearing a midcut shirt. im going to fucking explode why did they have to make them so hot fuck

    She look like an attractive masc. She look like she can fix me

      Comment
      byu/raivin_alglas from discussion
      in19684
      How is it a bad angle ? She look like an attractive masc. She look like she would descend from a X-wing, sweating, just to platonically hug me with her wet muscular arms. She look like she would scream at me because I don’t hold the light correctly while she fix the refrigerator I broke. She look like she would throw me at bed savagely so she can tuck me tightly with weight blanket and tell me a bedtime story. She look like she can fix me 🥹. Gamers these days amIright

      The fact I’ll never have nobushi sitting on me makes me want to kms

        The fact I'll never have nobushi sitting on me makes me want to kms. Fuck, I can't take it anymore. I would do anything to have her sit on my face with her rear. Killing my family? Bet. Skinning toddlers? Of course. Genocide? There's nothing I wouldn't do. Fuck, I just want those nobucheeks on me, sweaty, greasy, covered in scars, bruises and dried up blood. Just imagining the aroma makes me go insane. Why does God give me his toughest challenges? What does my creator get from this? How long can this suffering go on? Now my only hope now is to live the way of God and pray for his mercy, having reunited me with nobushi in heaven. Peace be upon you all, children of God.

        Just to let everyone know i do not bark. I have never barked in my life.

          Just to let everyone know i do not bark. I have never barked in my life. Everyday I wake up and do meaningful contributions to society. I am a very mature and respectable person. I would never engage in such activities such as barking, meowing, purring or making any animal noises. I am a pure chaste person who would never commit such a si- OMG IS THAT <INSERT CHARACTER> GRRRRR WOOF WOOF BARK BARK WOOF BARK BARK BARK BARK SNARL HISSSSS BARK BARK GRRRRRRR BARK BARK BARK foams at mouth WOOF WOOF GRRRRRR BARK BARK 
          just to let everyone know, i do not bark. i have never barked in my entire life. everyday, i wake up and make meaningful contributions to society. i am a very mature and respectable person. i am also a devoted member of the church, and attend afternoon mass every sunday. i would never engage in such activities as barking, meowing, purring, or making any animal noises. i am a pure, chaste person who would never commit such a sin. thank you. 
          Just to let you know, I do not bark. I have never barked in my entire life. Every day, I wake up and make meaningful contributions to society. I am a very mature and respectable person. I would never engage in such activities as barking, meowing, or any animal noises. Thank you. ummm, uhhh, guys I can't hold it in anymore i- WOOF WOOF BARK BARK WOOF HSSSS GRRRR WOOF WOOF BARK GRRRR HSSSS WOOF BARK ARF HSSSSS BARK ARF GRRRR WOOF WOOF BARK GRR SNARL ARF WOOF BARK ARF HSSSSS

          Hey girl, are you the skibidi toilet?

            Hey girl, are you the skibidi toilet? Because I definitely ohio rizz see the two of us skibbing out our gyats under the bussin moon. We could both clout chase together, kai cenat style. I'll rizz you up and compliment your drip any time of the lit af day. I'll interrupt my mewing streak for you bbg. I'll be your simp or your sigma, I'll always pass the vibe check when it comes to getting you on fleek. I'll make our lore so expansive that you'll need matpat to make a game theory on it, And let me be clear, my love is no meme fr fr, It won't take an L after 3 days. So please girlboss, Let's slay together, Will you go out with me?

            SIGNALIS – Sometimes I fantasize about Storch coming home drunk

              Based on the original “Misato coming home drunk” copypasta from the Evangelion community.

              Sometimes I fantasize about Storch coming home drunk and beating me until I feel numb. She kicks me in the ribs until I can hardly breathe. Then she starts to cry and apologizes, begging me to forgive her. She holds me all night as I gently cry into her t-shirt. Please help is there any hope for me