CSGO

Archive of all known CSGO copypasta about pro players to Valve’s meme response to Hiko’s missed shots to the 48 year old man from Somalia.

Device is proof to me that God doesn’t exist.

Device is a professional CS2 player for Astralis and had many copypasta created about him during Astralis dominant CSGO era.

Device is proof to me that God doesn't exist. How can someone be so good with everything? IGLing, Pistols, fucking your favorite team, rifles, punching monitors, awping etc. Its just not fair, how can anyone believe in God when Device exists? To top if off he looks like Tom Cruise, is rich as fuck and could have been a badminton pro if he wanted. But he just had to go into cs2, dick on everyone and ruin everyones faith in God. Thank you device.

CSGO version

Device is proof to me that God doesn't exist. How can someone be so good with everything? Pistols, fucking your favorite team, rifles, punching monitors, awping etc. Its just not fair, how can anyone believe in God when Device exists? To top if off he looks like Tom Cruise, is rich as fuck and could have been a badminton pro if he wanted. But he just had to go into csgo, dick on everyone and ruin everyones faith in God. Thank you device.

where were u wen astralis era return

apolgy for bad english

where were u wen astralis era return

i was at house eating dorito when phone ring

"astralis era return"

"no"

Is donk a bit of a boring player

This CS2 Donk copypasta is based on the classic CSGO ‘Olof boring Guardian flick‘ pasta that started in HLTV.

is it me or is donk a bit of a boring player

like u see it at the end of the game “oh wow donk has 32 kills” but u can never remember them.

can u remember a single donk kill ?

but try m0nesy…u can see the flick i remember a m0nesy flick.

Summary: Shots 1-5: Clearly missed. Shots 6-9: Missed due to recoil

Summary:

Shots 1-5: Clearly missed.

Shots 6-9: Missed due to recoil (bad spray control).

Shots 10-11: Very close, but recoil and inaccuracy make these reasonable misses.

Shot 12: Likely didn't actually fire because you were already dead.

Shots 1-5: Clearly missed.
Shots 6-9: Missed due to recoil (bad spray control).
Shots 10-11: Very close, but recoil and inaccuracy make these reasonable misses.
Shot 12: Likely didn't actually fire because you were already dead.

Origin of this meme

The origin of the ‘Summary: Shots 1-5: Clearly missed’ copypasta came from a Valve developer response towards a clip of a pro CSGO player (Hiko) missing his shots that seemingly shouldn’t happened. Ever since then, the response had been meme-d and shared across different communities every time there is a discussion or clip showing shots that didn’t result in a kill. People often do this as a nod and throwback towards this legendary comment.

Why was this meme so legendary?

CSGO has an in-house community joke where the game is visually bugged at specific angles causing the game’s character model not aligning with it’s hitboxes. It is also widely accepted that sometimes the netcode of the game fails to register player’s shots. This meant that when you shoot someone, the person might live.

Valve has always been very silent and mysterious on their projects and by extension they way they engage their community. Hence when an official Valve employee responded to the clip of Hiko with an over-analyzed frame-by-frame comment on why its not the game’s fault and actually the player himself, it became an instant meme by the CSGO community.

Comment
by from discussion
inGlobalOffensive

If you have under 5K hours, don’t speak, literally shut the fk up.

If the indisputably unparalleled, prodigiously talented, utterly dominant, Mr. HardCarry — the definitive GOAT, Mr. S1mple — says the game is sh*t then the game is sh*t. Period. Claiming that the game is in good condition not only overlooks its evident flaws but also significantly impedes the essential progress and improvements it desperately needs.

I'm going to be real, if you have under 5K hours of competitive play, don't speak, literally shut the f*ck up. You have no idea what you are talking about. It's like giving advice on how to set up a racecar while you have just passed the driving test.

I can't wait for the CS2 tournament. Right now it's an uphill battle because obviously the majority of the players on this subreddit are just not experienced enough to notice the obvious issues that the game has. They've played the game just long enough to fall into the Dunning-Kruger trap, mistaking their limited experience for genuine expertise.

Valve, like any other company, has its own interests at heart. It's important not to romanticize or become overly attached to a corporate entity.

I'm going to be real, if you have under 5K hours of competitive play, don't speak, literally shut the f*ck up.

Why is the game called “Counter-Strike”? I’ve been deceived

I heard some hype about “Counter-Strike 2”. I downloaded the current “Counter-Strike”, so I can be prepared for the new release. What appealed to me most was the name.

I went head first and started my first game. I didn’t know much about it, except that I knew my mission: to Counter the Strike. I learned quickly that I was on a team of Counter-Terrorists who’s job was to prevent the Strike of the Terrorists. I told my team “I’ll be the guy that defuses the bomb”. I bought a Defuse Kit every single round, and waited for my chance to counter the strike.

On Round 15, I waited on the “A Site”, and after the Terrorists planted the bomb, my fellow Counter-Terrorists eliminated them and I had my opportunity: I entered the code to defuse the bomb and we won the round! That was the biggest adrenaline rush I’ve ever had in gaming. The announcer said “Bomb defused. Counter-terrorists win”! I did it! My team erupted and chanted, “YOU COUNTERED THE STRIKE”. That solidified my call to the duty, I was ready to counter any strike that came my way.

But what happened next left me appalled. All of the sudden I was one of the Terrorists!?!? Apparently I was expected to Strike now!? I was so confused. This is not what I signed up for. I was in a full-blown panic attack, I could barely make out the words to my team, but I was so certain of my purpose. I yelled, “THERES NO WAY IM STRIKING”. To my surprise, it went unanswered.

I decided to be the bigger man. I was not going to compromise. I thought maybe this was a test (it was not). I took my Glock and aimed it at my “fellow” Terrorists and shot them. I WAS SUSPENDED FROM THE GAME. Excuse me?????? I was COUNTERING the FUCKING STRIKE.

I don’t know what’s going on. I had to make sure I didn’t download “Strike” by mistake. Someone please help me understand

Taco ‘Guys, if you think we are good, let’s prove it now’

The famous CSGO Taco copypasta — Ori g inal clip

Taco: "actually, I remember one time we were playing against Cloud 9, Inferno, and it was 15-3 to C9, we were playing as CT, C9 as T, and Fallen said:

'Guys, if you think we are good, let's prove it now'. 15-3"

Fallen: "did we comeback?"

Taco: "of course not. 16-3"

THE LOS ANGELES LAKERS HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED FROM CHAMPIONSHIP CONTENTION

"Actually, I remember one time, we were playing against Denver, Conference Finals, and it was 3-0 to the Nuggets. And LeBron said, 'Guys, if you think we are good, let's prove it now.'"

"Did you come back?"

"Of course not. 4-0."