Archive of all known CSGO copypasta about pro players to Valve’s meme response to Hiko’s missed shots to the 48 year old man from Somalia.
I have been a counter strike fan for not very long (start of 2025) but I NEED NiKo to win this major. After seeing his comment “it’s getting harder and harder to let things go” just made me sad. I watch NiKo major fail edits on tiktok and it almost brings me to tears. I don’t care that everybody hates falcons money and I can’t say it’s great but it is what it is. It would make me so happy if he got the major Comment
byu/adz0r from discussion
inleagueoflegends
The original was for Faker when he won his 5th World’s title. Written by u/SSSl1k in a post game thread of G2 vs. T1 in LoL, the copypasta has been adopted by other esport fans to glaze on their favorite players.
I was out of town, doing a bit of visiting. I heard my friend KkOma had finally taken the time to settle down in the countryside. Rightfully so, after what he’d been through, with all the pent-up stress and frustration built up over the years of coaching the most successful KR team in League.
“How have things been buddy?” I asked, as I saw my man step out of the house upon hearing my car come in the drive-through. “All good, life’s been a lot more chill, now that I’ve retired,” he answered. “Hey, wanna check out my animals out back? I’ve taken up farming as a hobby with my free time,” as he motioned over to the back gate.
We headed out and he started introducing me to some of the livestock, mentioning how he had named them after his players, as the unhinged animals they were. Just then, I was hit by an unbearable stench. With my eyes watering uncontrollably, I questioned through gritted teeth, “What in the hell is that smell?”
He looked over knowingly and said: "Ah. Faker? The goat is never washed.”
Was walking outside and randomly saw Karrigan making his vlogs. After he was finished recording, we talked for a bit and then headed out to tour his farm. He started introducing me to some of the livestock, mentioning how he had named them after his players, as the unhinged animals they were. Just then, I was hit by an unbearable stench. With my eyes watering uncontrollably, I questioned through gritted teeth, “What in the hell is that smell?” He looked over knowingly and said: “Ah. s1mple? The goat is never washed."
I was in Vegas for a convention and figured I’d finally visit my old friend Danny Rensch. Ever since he’d slowed down on screwing the chess community, he’d apparently gotten really into country living.
“How’s retirement treating you?” I asked as he opened the gate to his property.
“Oh, you know,” Danny grinned. “Peaceful. Slower pace. I’ve mostly been taking care of animals these days.”
He led me around the farm introducing them one by one, proudly explaining he’d named them after famous chess players, as the unhinged animals they were.
“That stubborn donkey over there is Hikaru. The horse that keeps escaping is Nepo. And that tiny violent rooster is Alireza." A peacock strutted past us, dazzling and elegant for about six seconds before walking directly into a fence. "Ding." He pointed toward a goose violently chasing a tractor tire across the yard. “That’s Hans. Nobody’s really sure how he got here.”
Then suddenly, the air changed.
A warm, heavenly aroma drifted across the field. Notes of sandalwood, lavender, maybe a hint of vanilla. It was intoxicating. Romantic, even. Like walking through a luxury spa during golden hour.
I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Danny,” I whispered, almost emotional, “what the hell is that incredible smell?”
He smiled softly and pointed toward the hill.
“Ah. Magnus.”
In the distance, a perfectly groomed goat stood majestically in the sunset, its coat shimmering in the breeze.
Danny nodded proudly.
“The GOAT is now washed.” 
It started as a shitpost on HLTV titled ‘SunPayus The Photographer’ for SunPayus around March 2026 by @KeyYouSueKay.
SunPayus isn't just an AWPer. He is a full-time photographer. Every round he buys his $4750 AWP like it's a brand new DSLR and scopes in to adjust the lens. The enemy walks away unharmed, but at least the composition was just right.
*adjusts lens*
zoom...focus...zoom...focus...
Meanwhile his teammates are fighting for their lives and SunPayus is saying,
"hold on guys, the lighting on B site is perfect."
Enemy peeks? CLICK. Nice photo.
Smoke fades? CLICK. Great composition.
Teammate dies? CLICK. Cinematic storytelling.
His teammates scream "SHOOT HIM!", but SunPayus gives important comms like that the "depth of field isn't right."
SunPayus's HLTV stats after a match:
Rating = 0.82.
Kills = 4.
Deaths = 19.
Photos taken = 56!
SunPayus isn't missing his shots, he is adjusting the focus.
SunPayus didn't forget to shoot, he is just waiting to take the perfect picture.Broky isn't just an AWPer. He is a full-time photographer. Every round he buys his $4750 AWP like it's a brand new DSLR and scopes in to adjust the lens. The enemy walks away unharmed, but at least the composition was just right.
*adjusts lens*
zoom...focus...zoom...focus...
Meanwhile his teammates are fighting for their lives and Broky is saying,
"hold on guys, the lighting on B site is perfect."
Enemy peeks? CLICK. Nice photo.
Smoke fades? CLICK. Great composition.
Teammate dies? CLICK. Cinematic storytelling.
His teammates scream "SHOOT HIM!", but Broky gives important comms like that the "depth of field isn't right."
Broky's HLTV stats after a match:
Rating = 0.82.
Kills = 4.
Deaths = 19.
Photos taken = 56!
Broky isn't missing his shots, he is adjusting the focus.
Broky didn't forget to shoot, he is just waiting to take the perfect picture. 
okay so i need to talk about something that has been keeping me up at night
me and my boys are hosting a school LAN next week. we booked the classroom, we're bringing our own PCs, we got snacks, we got energy drinks, we printed an actual physical bracket to follow. This was supposed to be the greatest day of our lives.
and i cannot sleep. something is eating me alive and i need to say it out loud.
what if FaZe decides to show up and farm VRS points off us. or worse. what if Liquid gets the same idea. what if both of them look at our little school LAN and think yeah. yeah that'll do.
like imagine you're sitting there with your $12 amazon mouse and your PC that takes 4 minutes to boot and it just. occurs to them. our event is farmable.
my friend Thomas has been grinding aim training every day, for 3 months for this LAN. He finally got his sensitivity right last week. he told me he felt ready. He was so happy. Thomas does not deserve this... Thomas is a good person.
our prize pool is a 20 euro steam gift card and a bag of chips.....
i am on my knees. we just wanted to have fun.
please tell me we're safe... 
I am genuinely shaking right now. I have been grinding cs every single day for years. Saved up $20 from mowing my neighbour's lawn to enter my local school LAN. Told my mum I was going to a birthday party. She made me sandwiches. I get there and I am setting up my mouse and I look up and karrigan, twistzz and broky are just STANDING THERE. In the school gym, looking jacked as fuck. The teacher running the event announces that FaZe clan are playing against my team. Nobody claps. Karrigan mumbles something about VRS points while hitting his vape. One kid starts crying. 
It’s the “Thats fucking football right there” copypasta but changed into CS in response to NiKo smashing his table on LAN. The incident has become an iconic CS moment hence the memes.
Thats fucking esports right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging smile for the webcam bullshit. NiKo punches, NiKo bleeds on the stream, NiKo delivers their new born baby on their HyperX Alloy Elite 2 Mechanical Gaming Keyboard™. Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterball Counter-strike fuck it chuck it shoot it game time shit. Esports are back, baby 
That's fucking counter-strike right there. None of that pansy ass s1mple-x-dev1ce dick tugging smile for the camera bullshit. Men puke, men poop on the map, men deliver their new born baby in Donut. Fucking hard core dick in the ass B-rush fuck it choke it game time shit. Take it to deathmatch. Dicks get shoved in places you don’t even remember. We win together we celebrate together. Counter-strike is back baby.Because that's fucking cs right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging hide behind the wall bullshit. Men wave, men throw thumbs up to the other team, men transform into eco hounds on the front lines. Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterball CS fuck it chuck it game time shit. CS is back, baby. 
By u/ImpressiveAction2382, who posted this unironically about Donk in the CS sub before becoming a meme.
Donk's mentality pulling Spirit to the bottom
Is only me mentioned everyone in team Spirit looks like they just don't want to disappoint little boy in their team more than win something and it looks like team strategy? Even if you look at interview of new-old players they said how they have to support him because he can decide to leave. When he started in team Spirit they became best team for half of season and there wasn't such a big pressure. Now I see how mad is donk after his fails even in games they're winning and it fells like everyone including coach are scared to make mistake to not be under donk's negative aura, we could hear it in TeamSpeak in BD Major and how he behaved after loosing mirage(Zywoo would return as better version of him, donk returned tilted). Pressure in TS is very high, but this player makes it worse and worse for his teammates despite he's individually best player, he has to be responsible for his behavior and team results, if he wants to win tournaments as a team he has to fix his mentality. Can imagine TS with Zweih instead of Donk on his core roles could be better team without tilted star.
Simply worst problem of TS is returning to the game after any lose, sometimes it's impossible to comeback and if they lose few rounds in a row they gonna drop this map. And someone after clutch will say "I don't like what happens" and everyone falls silent instead praise the player who won the round
What do you think?Comment
byu/ImpressiveAction2382 from discussion
inGlobalOffensive
The whole team walking on eggshells around one player is never gonna work long term, even if he's insane mechanically
Reminds me of donk's early days where the talent was undeniable but the mental side was holding everyone backIt’s always the worst when your teammate who is doing very well dunks on you verbally. It’s such a mental distraction. If that person is really mad and tearing you apart, it can feel like you HAVE to consider what they’re saying and they can absolutely be wrong. Makes you second guess yourself.
At least that’s my experience. It never makes me play better to hear the clearly better gamer get upset. It’s why I always try to stay chipper and keep morale up. Helps way more than people give it credit for.Is only me mentioned everyone in Falcons looks like they just don't want to disappoint little boy in their team more than win something and it looks like team strategy? Even if you look at interview of new-old players they said how they have to support him because he can decide to leave. When he started in Falcons they weren't great and there wasn't such a big pressure. Now I see how chill is m0NESY after his fails even in games they're winning and it fells like everyone including coach are scared to make mistake to not be under m0NESY's negative aura, we could hear it in TeamSpeak in BD Major and how he behaved after loosing mirage(donk would return as better version of him, m0NESY returned chill and looking like he doesn't care). Pressure in Falcons is very high, but this player makes it worse and worse for his teammates despite he's individually best player, he has to be responsible for his behavior and team results, if he wants to win tournaments as a team he has to fix his mentality. Can imagine Falcons with degster instead of m0NESY on his core roles could be better team without a chill star who doesn't care.
Simply worst problem of Falcons is returning to the game after any lose, sometimes it's impossible to comeback and if they lose few rounds in a row they gonna drop this map. And someone after clutch will say "I don't like what happens" and everyone falls silent instead praise the player who won the round
What do you think?Is only me mentioned everyone in team BCGame looks like they just don't want to disappoint little boy in their team more than win something and it looks like team strategy? Even if you look at interview of new-old players they said how they have to support him because he can decide to leave. When he started in team BCGame they became best team for half of season and there wasn't such a big pressure. Now I see how mad is s1mple after his fails even in games they're winning and it fells like everyone including coach are scared to make mistake to not be under Simple's negative aura, we could hear it in TeamSpeak in IEM Krakow and how he behaved after loosing mirage(maka would return as better version of him, s1mple returned tilted). Pressure in BCGame is very high, but this player makes it worse and worse for his teammates despite he's individually best player, he has to be responsible for his behavior and team results, if he wants to win tournaments as a team he has to fix his mentality. Can imagine BCGame with donk instead of s1mple on his core roles could be better team without tilted star.
Simply worst problem of BCGame is returning to the game after any lose, sometimes it's impossible to comeback and if they lose few rounds in a row they gonna drop this map. And someone after clutch will say "I don't like what happens" and everyone falls silent instead praise the player who won the round
What do you think?