So I (currently 18.0000472M) have been dating this cute girl for 8 months now. She's really special to me because apparently we share the exact same birthdate, even the same hour and minute.
For our 18th birthday she invited me over to share this special day together and her mom cooked us dinner. Everything was going great. Then we went to her bedroom to watch some Netflix and as you might've guessed, things got a bit spicy. We started cuddling and kissing and decided to have sex. We were already both so horny and I pulled my rock hard 12 inch cock. As I put my dick inside her pussy, I started hearing very loud sirens and cops broke into her house right after and arrested me.
Apparently, I turned 18.0000000000000 at the exact time I was putting my dick inside her, meanwhile she was still 17.99999999998 years old. Therefore I technically had sex with a minor. I might even get a life sentence now for grooming a minor. My life is fucking ruined and idfk what to do. How tf am I even gonna tell my parents and friends about it? Now all my friends are gonna go "hahah richard fucked a kid, PEDO richard", my nickname is gonna be fucking "groomerichard"
So I (18M) was live streaming a popular horror game that was made for children. For context I don't like to wear underwear because I chafe and my balls are sensitive. So anyways I got jump scared by this animatronic named Chica, but while I was screaming I realized that she was actually kinda hot for an animatronic bird. Naturally I started thrusting my hips toward the camera and exclaiming about how I wanted to smash this robot, when all of a sudden my leather hammer slipped right out of my pants! As soon as I realized that my cock was dangling in the cold, open air I put it away and ended the stream. Now everyone is calling me names and accusing me of doing it intentionally. Some people are talking about how I flashed a bunch of miners, but what does coal have to do with anything? Also, through all of this not one post that I've seen has talked about how big my pork sword is! I'm so hurt and distraught that I can't even rub one out to that animatronic bird now. So Reddit, AITA for showing my meat on stream?
So pretty much I was eating her out and then her coochie lips burped RIGHT ON MY FACE and it smelled like an old gingerbread cookie 💀 so then I stopped and went to the bathroom so I can throw up in the shower but she walked in on me and the smell was still lingering in the air so I started puking even harder and now she's pissed because I can't accept her pussy farts for how they smell. Now I want a divorce and I think she does too. Am I the asshole?
My (18M) gf (18F) surprise visited my house on Sunday. She knocked on the door and Mom let her in and told her I was up in my room. My gf comes into my room and jumps on the bed, right on top of me and sis (20F) cuddling. My gf screams and told me to explain. I calmly said sis and I have always slept together and share the same room as our home is modest in this economy with only two bedrooms, the other is my parents’. My gf says that us cuddling/hugging each other while asleep is “disgusting.” But I think she just doesn’t understand as an only child. I calmed her down and got her to come downstairs for dinner. I set the table and Mom kissed me on the lips. This was too much for my gf and she screams wtf. Mum got upset and asked her to explain herself. My gf said that our family is “way too close” bc Mom kisses me and my sis 'spoons' me while sleeping. Mum became angry and asked her to apologize but my gf just ran out of the house.
Now my gf won't respond to my texts or calls. I texted her several times that we only kiss on greetings, and sometimes we surprise lick each other’s lips to tease each other. Idk why having a close family is an issue. I feel depressed that the love of my life won’t talk to me. But she’ll come around. I’m sure she’s just nervous and not used to normal behaviors.
Edit- I think people are misunderstanding me. We don't lick each other on the lips all the times. We only do it sometimes to tease each other. Kinda like tickling but on the lips.
I worked at a movie theatre selling snacks right? One day someone ordered a hot dog and asked for mayonnaise, but when I went to make the hot dog I realised something, we ran out of mayo. I tried telling him that I was going to go to the grocery store right across the hall (because the theatre was in a mall). He said he was in a rush because the 'Nigga Ballsack: Shaking of Thugs' Premiere Episode was going to play in 15 minutes and they would stop letting people in within 5 minutes before the show began, so I had to think quickly. But then a voice in my head told me to watch thug shaker porn. It was the perfect idea! I turned on my computer and went to r/thugsaucesthesequel. I rubbed my hard, throbbing, moist cock so hard that cum spurred out of my cock onto the hot dogs. I gave it to the customer and he payed, he then went to watch the show. Literally 15 minutes later he came back and asked me, "WHAT IS THIS??? I ASKED FOR MAYONNAISE." I said "So you want mayonaise? You rushed me, what could I do?" Little did I know, my hard, moist penis was still sticking out. But all of a sudden, I uncontrollably squirted all my cum all over him. "YOU ARE DISGUSTING" he yelled. But i squirted cum all over his mouth and he couldn't breath or speak. I let him struggle for a while, but because I sprayed cum in his nose, he couldn't breath, and he eventually stopped moving and died. Turns out, another employee saw the scene and called the cops. When the cops arrived, I also sprayed my cum on the cops. I blinded them with my cum. They started firing their guns all over the place and shot everyone in the movie thearater. I then saw police cars arrive, but it didn't matter. I shot cum all over the streets, and the cars crashed into each other. Eventually they sent the SWAT team and they arrested me, not before i killed 2 other swat officers with my cum. I was apprehended because I ran dry, I have to serve 36 years in jail, fuck the feds.
I know the title may sound like a little bit of an overreaction , but hear me out . She had been saying it all the time I asked her if I could go to the toilet , and I was tired and a little annoyed by it .
Today was the last straw , I really needed to pee badly so I went to ask her if I can go to the toilet , "I don't know, can you?" she replied with a smug look . I had finally had enough and pulled out my glock 17 from my left pocket , loaded the magazine , and shot in her direction 4 times . I made sure the bullets didn't actually hit her because I knew I should be the bigger man and control myself .
She suffered cardiac arrest and a little bit of hearing impairment due to this , she's doing alright in the hospital now . I was sent the therapy because i was "overreacting" and what not , the therapist told me that I really was overreacting and that I'm a "psychopath" , it infuriated me and I pulled out my glock 17 from my left pocket again and pointed it at him , but I decided to be the bigger man and control myself and not shoot him , he immediately shut up and let me go .
So tell me reddit , was I really "overreacting" by (rightfully) pulling out my glock 17 in these two situations ? I personally think my actions were justified . AITA ?
