Exactly, EVERYTHING is political. Like just this last weekend I was at my nephews 5th birthday party and to my horror no one was talking about ICE. The clown came out and not one brilliant satirical comment about Drumph. No one was as angry as I was because during this extremely political event no one was making it about how awful America (the third world country in a Gucci belt as I like to call it) is. Finally around the time that they brought out the cake I realized that the attention wasn’t on me and I couldn’t abide spending any more time with these fascist enablers. While the crowd was singing happy birthday I just screamed “WHATS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??” And they had the nerve to ask me to leave? That’s fine, because if 9 people are at a table and 1 Nazi sits down and no one leaves there are 10 Nazis, and I honestly can’t believe that my own family including my 5 year old nephew are now just out and out full on Nazis. They just couldnt understand how political that party was.
A moving and sincere watch courtesy of Amazon and the Trump estate.
Myself and many in the audience got up off our seats to applaud at the end. A first for me. A triumphant eye opening account into the emotional and sentimental aspects of the First Lady's trials and hardships.
Encore, Melania. Encore.
The Melania Movie
I am settling in for a showing of ‘Melania’ and the theater is PACKED!
Earlier, a bystander asked if I was heading in to see Avatar, and I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Avatar? No, son,” I curtly replied. “I don’t watch woke movies. I’m here to see the groundbreaking documentary about our incredibly talented First Lady.”
The man’s two little girls began jumping up and down, pulling on his sleeve, and begging, “Daddy, we want to see Melania!”
“But. But…” he stammered, “I thought you girls wanted to see Zootopia 2?”
“No, no, NO,” they said, now nearly shouting. “We want to see Melania!! She is the most beautiful First Lady EVER.”
Their father was scrambling, stressed out, and disoriented.
“Girls, I’m afraid you aren’t the only ones who are captivated by President Trump and his beautiful wife,” I said, kneeling to get on their level. “Virtually everyone in this theater is here for the 7:30 PM showing, and it’s been sold out for days.”
Tears began to well up in their eyes.
“But…” I said in a hushed tone, “I happen to have a few extra tickets with me, and I’d like you and your dad to have them.”
They jumped for joy and began hugging their father. He looked relieved as he wiped the sweat off his brow with a smile.
I handed him the tickets and pulled him close. “Raise these girls right,” I whispered. “Teach them to be classy conservative women of faith like Melania, don’t let them become like Meghan Markle. Capisce?”
He hugged me and thanked me profusely. “What are you going to do now?” He asked.
“Don’t worry about me, son,” I told him, with a twinkle in my eye. “I’ve already got tickets to the next showing.”
Dear JONAS: Considering your COUNTRY 🇩🇰 decided NOT to give me the NOBEL PEACE PRIZE 🏆✌️ for having STOPPED 8 WARS (PLUS! 😤), I no longer feel an OBLIGATION to think PURELY of PEACE 🕊️🚫, although it will ALWAYS be PREDOMINANT (big word, I KNOW 😎), but can now think about what is GOOD and PROPER for the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 🇺🇸💪. DENMARK cannot PROTECT 🧊🏰 that LAND from RUSSIA or CHINA (SCARY 😱🐉), and WHY do they have a "RIGHT of OWNERSHIP" anyway? There are NO written DOCUMENTS 📄👉❌, it’s ONLY that a BOAT ⛵️ landed there HUNDREDS of YEARS AGO, but we had BOATS landing there, ALSO 🍔🛶!!! I have done MORE for NATO than ANY other PERSON since its FOUNDING, and now, NATO should do SOMETHING for the UNITED STATES 🤝🇺🇸. The WORLD 🌎 is NOT secure unless WE have COMPLETE and TOTAL CONTROL of GREENLAND 🧊🔒👑. THANK YOU!!! PRESIDENT DJT 🍔👔✨
💊🚨 LISTEN UP YOU BRAIN-ROTTED FUCKS 🚨💊 DONALD TRUMP 🍔🍟 just dropped a HOT 🔥 take 🥵💦 TYLENOL 💊💥 causing AUTISM 🧠👾 it’s the TYLENOL 💊🙈, causing the ASS burgers 🍔🍑 📏💦 giving ALL of us a BRAINBANG 💥🧠 Mix 🔃🔄 💦💦 Leucovorin 💧with some 😏 of DADDY TRUMPS💘👑 SECRET 🙉 SAUCE 🍯👨🍳, and you’ll 💙 be 🤰 CUMPLIMENTING your 🙈MINECUNT ⛏️ A-DICK-TION 🍆 like 👭 never 🚫 before! 💰😩 🧙♂️✨ Get 🕴🏽 ready 💅🏼 to SWALLOW 😮 🔥🍯, you 👈 can 🙋🔝🏃♀️ be 📖 CURED! 🧙♂️✨Now just REMEMBER, the ONLY thing you should be popping 💊 is that TIGHT ASS 🍑💦 in CUNTNITE 🤤💋! Because trust me, it ain’t the TYLENOL causing AUTISM 🤡💩, IT’S THE CUMMIES 💦💦! Send this to 5️⃣ of your HORNY 💦 friends 🦷👅 or else 👉 both your RO-COCKS and your chances of escaping the AUTISM LABOR CAMP 💥⛓️ will go RIGHT DOWN THE DRAIN! 🚽🤣
Folks, the bourgeois, they're no good, more and more people are saying it. All these workers— the biggest, we have the biggest workers— very handsome workers come up to me and say, Comrade Trump there is a specter haunting Europe, and you know what, they're right. These bourgeois are very nasty people, very very rude, and very unfair to the workers. They are stealing our surplus value and no one is doing anything about it. The proletariat comes up to me every day and says, Comrade Trump will you lead the revolution? And I gotta turn to them and say look,the instruments of capitalism will be used to bring about its destruction, believe me. The means of production, Obama never wanted to seize them. Well guess what? I'm seizing them. Landlords? They're done for folks. Everyone told me— they said, Comrade Trump you won't be the vanguard of the revolution and they would laugh, the media laughed the democrats laughed, guess who's laughing now?
And then you have these capitalists, those are real beauties! This is their new hoax- they take a piece of machine, a big beautiful shiny new means of production, and they buy it and y'know, they own it, it's a big beautiful shiny new machine, all the bells and whistles, bing bing bing, and then they have the workers- who are totally not being treated fairly in this country, folks, BELIEVE ME, totally exploited, and they have these workers -and they pay them a certain amount, could beee... $20 per hour, could be TEN, could be FIVE, could be TWELVE, they pay them a certain amount, okay, and with their labor they build the product.
And the owner of the machine, of the capital, "Capitalist" they turn around and sell the product at a yuge markup, they call it "profit." ok, so they call it profit! They don't sell it at the cost it took to make it, okay, so what do they do with this extra, you know what I call it? I call it surplus value. I call it surplus value, and do they share the surplus value with the people whose labor PROVIDED the value it took to make that product? I don't think so, folks.
They stick in a bank and then they say "ohhhh I can't afford to pay you more!" Bad- BAD people. It's totally phony, folks. Raw deal, our proletariat are getting a raw deal.
But not for long! We're gonna- and by the way it never occurs the workers to pool their resources and buy the big beautiful machine in order to share the profit that they created in the first place with their labour! And you know why? Because the capitalists pay the workers such a low wage they can't afford to then invest and pool their money and share in ownership... of the means of production! Can't do it! This is the biggest scam on the planet, folks! Boy, I've heard some real beauties but that one, WOW, that's a doozy. That's a real beauty. But we're gonna fix it, folks, we're gonna fix it, okay? and you know what the laborers are going to do? They're gonna WIN.
Folks, what we did in 1917–the Revolution I call it, with a capital R–it's never been done before. So many big beautiful red flags, you couldn't even–now that, folks, that's a flag we stand up for, we don't kneel for our terrific red flag–and you couldn't even see the Winter Palace, you know. You know the Mensheviks, you take a look at what they said, and they were a, uh, a failed party, and Renegade Kautsky, very nasty to me but that's okay, they said we couldn't do it! They said, "Oh, Donald, the material conditions are bad, we have to have a bourgeois republic to develop the forces of production." You know what that means, right? Semi-feudal economy! Okay, you get Semi-Feudal, and I said, I told them we can't have Semi-Feudal. Well, look at where we are now. We are going to develop the forces of production so fast it'll make your head spin. We are going to do in a generation what it took them many, many years to do. BELIEVE ME.
Shorter version
Folks, the bourgeois, they're no good, more and more people are saying it. All these workers— the biggest, we have the biggest workers— very handsome workers come up to me and say, Comrade Trump there is a specter haunting Europe, and you know what, they're right. These bourgeois are very nasty people, very very rude, and very unfair to the workers. They are stealing our surplus value and no one is doing anything about it. The proletariat comes up to me every day and says, Comrade Trump will you lead the revolution? And I gotta turn to them and say look,the instruments of capitalism will be used to bring about its destruction, believe me. The means of production, Obama never wanted to seize them. Well guess what? I'm seizing them. Landlords? They're done for folks. Everyone told me— they said, Comrade Trump you won't be the vanguard of the revolution and they would laugh, the media laughed the democrats laughed, guess who's laughing now?
Its Mike Ehrmantraut speech to Walter White blaming him and his ego for everything that has gone wrong. The transcript has been changed to reflect Elon Musk fallout with Donald Trump.
WE HAD A GOOD THING YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH.
We had Congress. We had DOGE. We had everything we needed and it all ran like clockwork. You could've shut your mouth, took the government contracts, and made as much money as you ever needed. It was PERFECT. But NO. YOU just had to blow it up. YOU, and your PRIDE and your EGO. You just had to be THE MAN. If you'd done your job, known your place, we'd all be fine right now.
