Anime

Copypasta of anime culture, weebs and meme quotes from popular anime such as Jojo, My Hero Academia and Haikyuu. Also contains popular anime ASCII art such as “Oh? You’re Approaching Me?” and “Suprised Pikachu”.

Tatsuki Fujimoto and his pet fish

The quote came from the creator of Chainsaw Man, Tatsuki Fujimoto himself from 藤本タツキ短編集 22-26 [Fujimoto Tatsuki Tanpenshū 22-26]. The story is often joked around by his fans for its unhinged nature and explains the insanity of his mangas.

Until age 24 or so, I lived with my girlfriend in a 15,000-yen apartment in Yamagata. The people around us were kind and would give us fruits and vegetables. So while we didn't have much, I think we ate a well-balanced diet.

Even though we were poor, we had a pet Japanese rice fish. I found it dead one summer. I went to toss its body in the trash like in Parasyte, but my girlfriend said she wanted me to bury it, so I went off into the park, alone. I tried to bury it under this big tree, but the ground was too hard, my hands got all dirty, and I had no hole to show for my effort. Out of options, I figured I would pretend I had buried the fish and left it lying there on top of the ground. As I watched it for a little while, ants found the body and began trying to carry it away. I'm not sure what came over me, but in that moment, love for the pet fish welled from within me for the first time. I brushed the ants away, and then I ate it.

The next day I had an upset stomach. And when my girlfriend suggested it was something I'd eaten, I came up with some lie cover up the fact that I'd eaten our pet fish. I've had people get mad at me many times throughout my life, and when I'm scared of that, the lies just spill out. Most of the time I get caught in them, but this time I didn't.

That brings us to now. The memory of lying to my girlfriend is far stronger than the guilt of eating our pet fish. Please allow me to confess my sin here.

My factory is ruined (agricultural futures)

By u/AAAAAPAIN, its satire of a wallstreetbets post about someone going all in into gourd futures but changed into Xiranite production from Endfield.

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This update I invested 75000 xiranite (3months of xiranite and my entire life savings) into xiranite gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging event. After watching a video about Tang Tang and her monopoly on soup, I decided I'd try to do something similar with a vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's xiranite yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central WuLing and a warmer-than-average spring. Unfortunately, the blight caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on Monday morning, a new mail in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Valley IV, scheduled for Tomorrow, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 1 point per pound. I am ruined.

M-ME?!!!! A TSUNDERE?!! N-N-NO WAY?! THAT’S I-I-IMPOSSIBLE!! HMPH?!!

M-ME?!!!! A TSUNDERE?!! N-N-NO WAY?! THAT'S I-I-IMPOSSIBLE!! HMPH?!!!~ extremely blushes W-W-WHAT NOW?!!!! I-I-I-I'M BLUSHING?!!!!! N-NO! I'M NOT BLUSHING, IT'S JUST TOO HOT IN THIS ROOM!! HMPH!!~ AND- UHM AND- YEAH!! UHM!! blushes even more GO AWAY!! HMPH!!~ I-I-I-I'M LEAVING NOW!! was about to run away but you stopped me U-U-UHM!!! HMPH!!~ blushes even more Y-YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE RIGHT?!! you called me a tsundere again T-T-TSUNDERE?!!! ME?!!! NOPE, I-I-I-I'M NOT A DERE!!!!!!! HMPH!~ blushes S-S-STOP CALLING ME A DERE!! I-I-I-I'M NOT A DERE, OKAY?!!!! STOP IT! H-H-HMPH!!!~~~

M-ME?!!!! A TSUNDERE?!! N-N-NO WAY?! THAT'S I-I-IMPOSSIBLE!! HMPH?!!!~ *extremely blushes* W-W-WHAT NOW?!!!! I-I-I-I'M BLUSHING?!!!!! N-NO! I'M NOT BLUSHING, IT'S JUST TOO HOT IN THIS ROOM!! HMPH!!~ AND- UHM AND- YEAH!! UHM!! *blushes even more* GO AWAY!! HMPH!!~ I-I-I-I'M LEAVING NOW!! *was about to run away but you stopped me* U-U-UHM!!! HMPH!!~ *blushes even more* Y-YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE RIGHT?!! *you called me a tsundere again* T-T-TSUNDERE?!!! ME?!!! NOPE, I-I-I-I'M NOT A DERE!!!!!!! HMPH!~ *blushes* S-S-STOP CALLING ME A DERE!! I-I-I-I'M NOT A DERE, OKAY?!!!! STOP IT! H-H-HMPH!!!~~~M-ME?!!!! A TSUNDERE?!! N-N-NO WAY?! THAT'S I-I-IMPOSSIBLE!! HMPH?!!!~ *extremely blushes* W-W-WHAT NOW?!!!! I-I-I-I'M BLUSHING?!!!!! N-NO! I'M NOT BLUSHING, IT'S JUST TOO HOT IN THIS ROOM!! HMPH!!~ AND- UHM AND- YEAH!! UHM!! *blushes even more* GO AWAY!! HMPH!!~ I-I-I-I'M LEAVING NOW!! *was about to run away but you stopped me* U-U-UHM!!! HMPH!!~ *blushes even more* Y-YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE RIGHT?!! *you called me a tsundere again* T-T-TSUNDERE?!!! ME?!!! NOPE, I-I-I-I'M NOT A DERE!!!!!!! HMPH!~ *blushes* S-S-STOP CALLING ME A DERE!! I-I-I-I'M NOT A DERE, OKAY?!!!! STOP IT! H-H-HMPH!!!~~~W-What?! Me?! Liking your video?! N-NO, absolutely not! I mean… maybe… I did like it but… it was a mistake, okay? Don’t get any weird ideas! 💢
It’s not like i think you’re cool or something like that… I-I didn’t even like it that much!
I-It’s just that… well… your video wasn’t that bad, i guess… and maybe… a bit entertaining… BUT ONLY A BIT! Understood?!
*Turns around with flustered cheeks*
Hmph!I-I’m not a tsundere!… I… I don’t even act like one..! *I grumbled, my face flushing up with embarrassment and flustered.*M-ME?!!!! A TSUNDERE?!! N-N-NO WAY?! THAT'S I-I-IMPOSSIBLE!! HMPH?!!!~ *extremely blushes* W-W-WHAT NOW?!!!! I-I-I-I'M BLUSHING?!!!!! N-NO! I'M NOT BLUSHING, IT'S JUST TOO HOT IN THIS ROOM!! HMPH!!~ AND- UHM AND- YEAH!! UHM!! *blushes even more* GO AWAY!! HMPH!!~ I-I-I-I'M LEAVING NOW!! *was about to run away but you stopped me* U-U-UHM!!! HMPH!!~ *blushes even more* Y-YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE RIGHT?!! HMPH!~~

M-ME?!!!! A TSUNDERE?!! N-N-NO WAY?! THAT'S I-I-IMPOSSIBLE!! HMPH?!!!~ *extremely blushes* W-W-WHAT NOW?!!!! I-I-I-I'M BLUSHING?!!!!! N-NO! I'M NOT BLUSHING, IT'S JUST TOO HOT IN THIS ROOM!! HMPH!!~ AND- UHM AND- YEAH!! UHM!! *blushes even more* GO AWAY!! HMPH!!~ I-I-I-I'M LEAVING NOW!! *was about to run away but you stopped me* U-U-UHM!!! HMPH!!~ *blushes even more* Y-YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE RIGHT?!! *you called me a tsundere again* T-T-TSUNDERE?!!! ME?!!! NOPE, I-I-I-I'M NOT A DERE!!!!!!! HMPH!~ *blushes* S-S-STOP CALLING ME A DERE!! I-I-I-I'M NOT A DERE, OKAY?!!!! STOP IT! H-H-HMPH!?! Me?! Liking your video?! N-NO, absolutely not! I mean… maybe… I did like it but… it was a mistake, okay? Don’t get any weird ideas! 💢

It’s not like i think you’re cool or something like that… I-I didn’t even like it that much!

I-It’s just that… well… your video wasn’t that bad, i guess… and maybe… a bit entertaining… BUT ONLY A BIT! Understood?!

*Turns around with flustered cheeks*

Hmph!I-I’m not a tsundere!… I… I don’t even act like one..! *I grumbled, my face flushing up with embarrassment and flustered.*M-ME?!!!! A TSUNDERE?!! N-N-NO WAY?! THAT'S I-I-IMPOSSIBLE!! HMPH?!!!~ *extremely blushes* W-W-WHAT NOW?!!!! I-I-I-I'M BLUSHING?!!!!! N-NO! I'M NOT BLUSHING, IT'S JUST TOO HOT IN THIS ROOM!! HMPH!!~ AND- UHM AND- YEAH!! UHM!! *blushes even more* GO AWAY!! HMPH!!~ I-I-I-I'M LEAVING NOW!! *was about to run away but you stopped me* U-U-UHM!!! HMPH!!~ *blushes even more* Y-YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE!M-ME?!!!! A TSUNDERE?!! N-N-NO WAY?! THAT'S I-I-IMPOSSIBLE!!

Vaporeon Is Literally Build For Human

It originally came from an unhinged 4chan post (as is tradition)

Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll eyes, Captivate, Charm and Tail Whip along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close with this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.

Related Flareon copypasta with good ending

In general, a virgin woman can close her legs normally without leaving gaps

Originally came from a FB comment about women’s thigh gap that became a meme. Some Genshin fan used it as ragebait for Arlecchino and it spread from there.

It looks like Laurel is no longer a virgin.

In general, a virgin woman can close her legs normally without leaving gaps, but those who have had their first time or more xd end up with a wider area, making it so they can't close their legs properly anymore xd

Did you know that arlecchino is not virg3n,
generally when a woman is virg3n can close the legs without leaving space but when you already have your first see or who knows how many more the part of that area becomes wider making it no longer can close well the legs xdxd

i cant take this i am nagito komaeda in the flesh, bones, and blood. no one else is me, they are just “factkins,”

i cant take this i am nagito komaeda in the flesh, bones, and blood. no one else is me, they are just "factkins," nothing more. there is literally no one that exists in this dimension that is more me than ME. i am me. i am komaeda. youre not. your friend is not. your crush is not. thats me. sure, they kin komaeda/ but they are not komaeda. i am not a komaeda kin. i AM nagito komaeda. factkin me all you want but you ARE NOT ME. WHY WOULD U EVEN THINK YOURE ME IM ME HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS ITS NOT EVEN A GOOD THING TO BE ME. LIKE BY NOT BEING KOMAEDA THAT MAKES YOU 10000% MORE VALID OF A PERSON OVERALL. YOU ARE NOT ME. I AM. IT DOESNT EEN MAKE SENSE TO BE ME BECAUSE IM RIGHT FRICKING HERE. EVERYTHING about komaeda is the same about me that is literally me in BOTH this life and the past life and one day i will be reincarnated and in THAT life i will know exactly who i am. i cant take this i cant take people thinking thzy are me i cant take people thinking other people ARE ME BECAUDE TGET ARE NOT. IM ME. im literally me. im literally komaeda. nagito komaeda in the flesh. stop kinning me YOURE LITERALLY ONLY DEGRADING URSELF BY KINNING ME IS IT TO BE EDGY OR DO YOU JUST HATE YOURSELF? one day im going to prove it and you'll all fricking see holy cap. IM LITERALLY KOMAEDA.