Breaking Bad

My brother hates that I go to Cornell.

Origin

The copypasta started from r/Cornell but had since been deleted. It’s actually a referenced to the Chincanery copypasta or more specifically the siblings relationship between Chuck and Jimmy McGill from Better Call Saul. In the show, Chuck is perpetually jealous of his younger brother Jimmy, who seemingly turned his life around and achieved success equal to him.

First of all, he graduated from Harvard Law School and works at a law firm. Like him, I am also seeking a law degree, but I’m at Cornell now. He hates that I’m graduating soon and he thinks the entire foundation of legal rule and the sanctity of law will be tarnished once I become a lawyer. To quote him directly, me being in law school is like “a chimp with a machine gun.” During our family Thanksgiving dinner today, he threw a tantrum in front of my family because he wanted to be the only lawyer. He wants to be the pride of the family. “Cornell University, for Christ’s sake?” He yelled at me as I asked my mom to pass the mashed potatoes. “What a joke. I worked my ass off to get where I am! And you take these shortcuts and you think suddenly you're my peer?” I used to work in the mail room in his law firm. He said he was proud of me then and wishes I never turned my life around. Every day, I think about dropping out and going back to my old job just to make him happy…

Template version

First of all, he graduated from <School> Law School and works at a law firm. Like him, I am also seeking a law degree, but I’m at <School> now. He hates that I’m graduating soon and he thinks the entire foundation of legal rule and the sanctity of law will be tarnished once I become a lawyer. To quote him directly, me being in law school is like “a chimp with a machine gun.” During our family Thanksgiving dinner today, he threw a tantrum in front of my family because he wanted to be the only lawyer. He wants to be the pride of the family. “<School> University, for Christ’s sake?” He yelled at me as I asked my mom to pass the mashed potatoes. “What a joke. I worked my ass off to get where I am! And you take these shortcuts and you think suddenly you're my peer?” I used to work in the mail room in his law firm. He said he was proud of me then and wishes I never turned my life around. Every day, I think about dropping out and going back to my old job just to make him happy…

Chicanery

I AM NOT CRAZY! I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers! I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just – I just couldn't prove it. He – he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you – you have to stop him! You-

I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers! I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He - he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer!? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you - you have to stop him!

Emoji version

I 👉🤵am not🚫 crazy!🤪😵‍💫 I know he💁 swapped📝 those numbers!🔢 I knew💡 it was 1216. One after Magna🧲 Carta🛒. As if I could❄️ ever🌲 make⚒️ such a mistake👶. Never🚫. Never🚫‼️! I just ⚖️– I just couldn't🚫⚖️ prove 👨‍🍳it. He👨‍❤️‍👨 – he covered🙈 his tracks🛤️, he got💲 that idiot🤓 at the copy👮 shop🛍️ to lie🤥 for him🙋‍♂️. You🫵 think🤔 this🤐 is something🤠? You🫵 think🧠 this😵‍💫 is bad😎? This🙃? This chicanery🐔? He's👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 done worse🤬. That🤏 billboard🧾🛹! Are🏟️ you🦡 telling🏧 me🧘‍♀️ that a🅰️ man🦸‍♂️ just👨‍⚖️ happens🌞 to👨‍🔧 fall🍁 like👍 that🍠? No🙅‍♂️! He😻 orchestrated🎻 it! Jimmy⚖️! He💆‍♂️ defecated💩 through💘 a🇦🇷 sunroof🌞🛋️! And🇦🇩 I🥇 saved🆘 him🙋! And🎭 I😜 shouldn't⛔ have👅. I✨ took📐 him👋 into🥴 my🧜 own🦉 firm🔥! What🤷‍♂️ was🦟 I🏴‍☠️ thinking💭? He'll🙉 never🙅‍♂️ change💰. He'll🙉 never🙅‍♂️ change💰! Ever🥂 since🐛 he🥰 was🦟 9🕘, always🐊 the🌡️ same🥪! Couldn't🧊 keep🎹 his🐍 hands👬 out⛺ of📴 the🥾 cash💵💵💵 drawer✍️! But🍑 not🪢 our☺️ Jimmy😻! Couldn't⏲️ be🐝 precious👼 Jimmy🤗! Stealing🤖 them🍿 blind👨‍🦯! And🇪🇦 he👂 gets🙆 to🦶 be🐞 a🏹 lawyer👮‍♂️!? What🐋 a📲 sick🤢🦠 joke🤣🃏! I✊ should've🗣️ stopped🚦 him🏯 when⚙️ I🎈 had🎣 the👨‍⚕️ chance♣️! And🐐 you🫵 – you🫵 have😏 to2️⃣ stop⏱️ him🇳🇵!

With F-bomb

I AM NOT FUCKING CRAZY! I am not fucking crazy! I know he fucking swapped those numbers! I fucking knew it was 1216. One after fucking Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a fucking mistake. Never. Never! I just – I just couldn't fucking prove it. He – he fucking covered his tracks, he got that fucking idiot at the fucking copy shop to fucking lie for him. You fucking think this is something? You think this is fucking bad? This? This fucking chicanery? He's done worse. That fucking billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fucking fall like that? No! He fucking orchestrated it! Jimmy! He fucking defecated through a fucking sunroof! And I fucking saved him! And I fucking shouldn't have. I took him into my own fucking firm! What was I fucking thinking? He'll never fucking change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the fucking same! Couldn't keep his fucking hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious fucking Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer!? What a sick fucking joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you – you have to stop him! You-

The symbolism beyond the handjobs in Breaking Bad

In two separate occasions we saw Walter and Hank, receiving a handjob from their respective wives: Walter in S1 EP1; Hank in S3 EP12.

There is a clear contrast between these 2 scenes.
Walter got a handjob before all hell broke loose. He hadn't received his cancer diagnosis yet, and he was living a pretty mundane and "boring life". You can see it by how uninterested he and Skyler were during that scene.
Hank, on the other hand, had just experienced the most traumatic experience of his life. Marie's handjob had emotion behind it. It wasn't meant to just pleasure Hank, but to rejuvenate him. To give him some vigor and confidence during a hard time.

But one thing that really seals the deal for me, is their names(stay with me, it will make sense). You see, Walter is a Germanic name that means "Commander Of The Troops". Pretty much foreshadowing what was about to come in later seasons. But there is more. Walter didn't orgasm during that scene, so his "troops"(aka sperm) didn't come out. Implying that Walter wasn't a commander of the troops, at that point...also his last name is white, the color of sperm.

As for Hank, this will blow your mind.
Hank kinda sounds like wank, but It also sounds like honk... a car honk. Hello?! He was almost killed in a parking lot , while inside his car. You can hear a car honk throughout his fight scene against the Salamanca cousins. Still don't believe me? Hank's last name, Schrader, is a type of pneumatic tire valve that is used in most cars around the world. "OP but the Schrader valves are also used on bikes"...I guess there wasn't any major event in the show that involved someone riding a bike, right?! Guys, it's all connected!
The way Vince Gilligan used these two scenes to backshadow and foreshadow is nothing less than godly.

Los Pollos Hermanos

Hello! And welcome to the Los Pollos Hermanos family. My name is Gustavo, but you can call me "Gus". I am thrilled that you'll be joining our team. Each and every day, we serve our customers exceptional food, with impecable service. We take pride in everything that we do. And after this 10 week online seminar, I'm sure you'll fit right in. I like to think I see things in people. To begin, I'd like to talk about the cornerstone of the Los Pollos Hermanos brand. Communication. As an employee of Los Pollos Hermanos, you set the tone for the entire dining experience. Be mindful of what your words, and behavior communicate to our guests. Always be aware of your posture, remember to stand up straight. Your customers and your back will thank you for it. Put effort into your appearance, all employees are required to dress appropriately. Keep your uniform clean, and pressed. If you want respect, you must look respectable. Speak in complete sentences, we never use one word greetings like "Hey" or "Yeah?" Always make eye contact, and finally, whenever you're with a customer or not, remain composed. Inside, you can be thinking about your homework, or friends, or your side business, but no one should ever know it. Because at Los Pollos Hermanos, someone... Is always watching. So dont forget to smile! Thats all for today, see you next time when we'll be discussing cleanliness.

Breaking Bad Skyrim

I am the one who shouts. I used to be a mild-mannered alchemist in Whiterun, until I was diagnosed with rockjoint. The healers told me I had only a few months to live. I didn't want to leave my wife and son with nothing, so I decided to use my skills to make the most potent skooma in all of Skyrim. I teamed up with a former student of mine, a Khajiit named Jesse, and we set up a secret lab in an abandoned Dwemer ruin. We had to deal with bandits, Thalmor, dragons, and even the Dark Brotherhood. But we managed to build an empire of skooma that spread across Tamriel. I became known as Heisenberg, the most feared and respected skooma lord in history. But I also became a monster, who lied, cheated, killed, and betrayed everyone who cared about me. I lost my family, my friends, and my soul. And now, I'm standing on the edge of Sovngarde, ready to face my final judgement. I don't expect any mercy from the gods. I don't deserve it. I did it for myself. I liked it. I was good at it. And I was really... I was alive.

Jesse pinkman turns into a femboy

Walter: Jesse, what the hell is going on with you?

Jesse: (voice cracking) I, uh, I don't know bitch what you mean, Mr. White.

Walter: You've been acting strange lately. Your clothes, your hair, your mannerisms. It's like you're a different person.

Jesse: (voice trembling) I'm just trying to be who I really am bitch.

Walter: And who is that, Jesse? A femboy?

Jesse: (voice softening) Yes, Mr. White. I've always felt like I was meant to be a girl.

Walter: (sighs) Jesse, this is not who you are. You're a man, a drug dealer, and my partner.

Jesse: (voice quivering) But Mr. White, I can't keep pretending to be someone I'm not. I need to be true to myself.

Walter: (voice raising) Jesse, this is not about being true to yourself. This is about you letting your emotions and insecurities take over. You need to snap out of it and focus on what's important.

Jesse: (voice pleading) Mr. White, please, I just want to be happy.

Walter: (voice cold) Jesse, you're not happy. You're a mess. And if you don't snap out of it, I'll have no choice but to end this once and for all.

Jesse: (voice sobbing) Mr. White, please don't do this.

Walter: (voice calm) Jesse, it's for your own good. (points gun at Jesse)

Jesse: (voice terrified) Mr. White, please, no!

(Walter pulls the trigger, killing Jesse)

Walter: (voice regretful) I'm sorry, Jesse. But this was the only way. (walks away)