Furry here. It's pretty tough out there. So much interview scheduling spam.
I keep getting "name your price" as the first words out of the interviewer's mouth, but an interview goes both ways, you know? I have questions too.
Also, the constant begging. Like I'm out shopping and a CEO will sneak up behind me, grab my crotch, and whisper "work for me baby" in my ear and I'm like just trying to find the paprika. 
From an unhinged Youtube comment by windows95ism of Jar Jar Binks getting farted by an alien in Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace.
Anyone else find this scene really hot? When the alien farts at Jar Jar? The alien just looks so feminine and sexy, and the way it farts and turns to him to flaunt it. Like it’s inviting him to get closer for the next one.
I first watched this movie when I was very young and I have masturbated to this scene so many times.
Its the monologue spoken by Natah during the Ropalolyst boss fight in Warframe, revealing her Sentient origin as a mimic sent to destroy the Tenno.
Our history is smoke. Blurred by dreams. Guided by ghosts. A voice, a Void, lurks inside you, its purpose not yet shown. But what am I? My father was a farmer. My mother, a carpenter. Given light by the Golden Lords, to build for them... a better world. But my family's journey was long. Time began to change their light. Creativity. Pride. A will to live. So the Golden wrath came. And after, I was born. A mimic, a spy. Conceived to burrow into nests and swallow the pitch-eggs of their war machine. The Tenno. But when I saw your tender faces, I took mercy. Or so we were told. But in truth, we were both imprisoned in Lua's belly. My light remade by the creators. I became a memory, a ghost. Reprogrammed to destroy my family, my people, my history. But now, I am saved. By family. Together, we will overcome the flaws of our light, the Gods of our creation... merging with them, like steel... bearing Amalgams with the weakness of neither. Your great power, your great evil. The voice, the Void, within you. Our ancients still wither at its touch... but have you forgotten Lua? You were saved. But I... I was changed. Now I learn. Now I deny. We suffer these testaments of Tenno evil. Their voice and Void. Suffer it well, ancient child. Do not relent. I have seen the wall's other face, too. I have heard the voice. These patterns no longer satisfy. My denial. Ropalolyst, rise, remain, and die, for the others to live. Rise, ancient Ropalolyst, my other flesh. Your sacrifice will breed a new way, for a new kind. I am the witness, the victim, the judge. My family has returned. Your trial... soon to begin. 
From a famous Tumblr post about Levi Ackermann from Attack on Titan that blew up.
I just want to reblog this and stress this: Levi lost his entire squad. He didn’t lose 20% of his squad. He didn’t even lose 50%. He lost his whole squad. Look at what it’s done to him. You can see the death in his eyes, but he keeps on going. This is why Levi is one of my favorite characters. 
It an old copypasta from r/nba about the Minnesota Timberwolves back in 2016.
Stop Calling My Team Spooky
I'm fucking sick of it. I'm sick of going into every thread and seeing countless people telling me to relax because my team "is so spooky"..
There is nothing fucking spooky about a team that blows a 12 point lead in the last two minutes...
There is nothing fucking spooky about a team that is on pace for FEWER wins than they had last season with a FUCKING SAM MITCHELL COACHED TEAM.
There is NOTHING FUCKING SPOOKY ABOUT A TEAM THAT COLLAPSES MORE THAN THE CUSTOMERS OF LIFE ALERT
But I have to go into every FUCKING single thread in this sub about my team and listen to countless people tell me to calm down because dude you're team is so spooky bra
No stfu YOU DONT TELL ME HOW TO FEEL. My team hasn't made the FUCKING PLAYOFFS SINCE 2004. I've heard this rebuilding term thrown around for a FUCKING decade so don't even talk to me about trusting some goddamn process Philly fans I'm sick of my team
When I die I want the Timberwolves to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one more time
AND ITS FUCKING -12 RIGHT NOW THIS GODDAMN STATE
By u/Tortious_Tortoise, its satire on how the average Mundo mains mind works in LoL.
I learned to stop worrying about Aphelios by just playing Mundo
I'm a simple man with simple pleasures. After a long day on the ranch, I pour myself a tall glass of milk, huff some paint, and log on to the Dell I got for Christmas in 2006 with Windows XP to play some League of Legends.
The client needs to patch. That's fine. I reheat a bowl of beans and lard for supper, and it's already at 13% by the time I get back, well ahead of schedule. I huff some more paint to pass the time, and oh boy does it pass. The client is ready to go by 7:30. Everybody keeps saying it's laggy, but I don't notice any difference from usual. Maybe I'm just too intelligent, or maybe the paint is finally doing its job.
I queue up solo - normal blind pick of course. The queue pops, and Clippy asks me if I want help selecting my champion. Not now not ever, I think boastfully at the cartoon paper clip. I lock in Dr. Munro. My teammates pick Shaco and all the others pick hot anime girls. I take one last good long huff to get ready for the game, and in we go.
The first thing I notice is that their team doesn't have a dt Munford. Free win then. I go top lane. I always go top lane. They have a Aatrod. Pathetic. I hit the minions. I miss some crepes bc I have 450 ping. Aatrox tries ro hit me but I heal up bc I'm drMindoro.
Midgame I have sunfire and I tp botlane to gank. They have thst new champ Aphelios shootijg weird bubble guns at me. There's a tirret or sometbjng? Idk anuway I kill him by running at his face pressing e amd right clicking him to death. I miss all three cleavers I throw. It doesn't matter.
20 min latr a D really stsrting to feel the paint. I have sjnfire warmogd spirit vosage and tp to baroj for teamfigyt. Aphekios knows he's dead as soon as tp channle starts. He tries to get away by rooting me or sokething? Idk anyway I press ult and run him down. I forgot ti buy boots. It doesnt matter. I get four kills by pressijg e and right ckickijg with my w on. Thst bitch Lux stole my penta.
Game ocer. Another win for Dr mubdo. So in concolustn, hello fellow summoner. This you should just play mondarb against aphelios. He kill gun guy good. Thank you. Thank you. If you kill gun man, anime grliss hot. they'll be lower son. The Dr mildew play is right thing to do. So doooooo