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April Fool’s

😱 UH OH! 🚫 today is APRIL 🗓️ THIRST 💦 and you 🫵 know 🧠 what that MEANS 😍👅 With April 🗓️ flowers 🌹🌻 CUM 💦💦 May 🗓️ SHOWERS 🧖‍♀️🚿 It's time ⏰ to SPANK 🍑👋 and PRANK 🥸 all those NAUGHTY 👿 HOES 💁‍♀️ that you've been APRIL 🗓️ FOOLING 💦👉👌 AROUND 🔄 with 😏😜 Send this to 1️⃣0️⃣ of your THICCest 🍑🧋 TRICKSTERS 🪄 to celebrate 🥳🎉 If you don't get 5️⃣ back then DADDY 😎💪 will POKE 🪡 holes 🕳️ in his CONDOMS 🍆 as a PRANK!! ⁉️🤡

😩 It's April first! 😩That means it's April fools 😝 and it's time to 😜 FOOL 🍆 around!!!!💦👅 April SHOWERS 💦💦💦 bring May flowers!!!🌺🌸🌼🌷😩😈 TRICK bæ into 👉👌 and you'll have a wHOLE YEAR of 🙌🙌GOOD LUCK 🙌🙌 😵💦👅🍆 IGNORE THIS MESSAGE AND NO TRICKS 🍆💦👌👈 for 10 YEARS 😩😩😷 SEND to YOUR 10 😈😈 SLUTTIEST 😩😩friends and you'll 😵 SPRING into a SEASON of 😵💦😈👄Pleasure 🍆👌💦😩😈

HELP‼️🚨‼️🚨‼️🚨‼️🚨‼️ there is a BAD 😡 BAD 😡 man inside my house 😱😱 he says hes gonna 🔪🔫 MURDER💀 😖 this PUSSY ‼️‼️ i need your help 🚔🚨 ASAP, he says 🗣 When he’s done ✔️ with me 😵he’s CUMMING 💦💦 for YOU 👁 next ⏩‼️ im warning 🚨 you to protect 🙅🏻👮 that CUCA 👀 at all costs 💰 You can call ☎️📞 the PO PO 👮🚔 but they ain’t ❌ gon believe you Becuz 😪🤕 it’s APRIL FOOLS BITCH‼️ 😂😂😂😂😂 i tricked 👻😎 yo dumb ass HAHAHA 😜‼️ Send📲 this to 1️⃣5️⃣ bitches 👯 you KNOW 😎 can’t be FOOLED 👻😜 if you don’t ❌ get at least 🔟 back ⏪ yo pussy🙀will NEVA❌ be murdered 🔫🔪

😱UH OH!😖 today is APRIL 🥇THIRST🥇and you know what that MEANS😡😡😡 With April 🌹🌷flowers🌺🌸 💦CUM💦 May SHOWERS ☔🛀It's time to SPANK🍑👋 and PRANK😜🤫🤭 all those NAUGHTY HOES🥴🥵😫 that you've been 😉🔝APRIL FOOLING AROUND with 🙌 Send this to 🔟 of your 🍑THICCest🍑 TRICKSTERS🤡🤡 to celebrate🎉🎂 If you don't get 5️⃣ back then DADDY😈 will 📌📌POKE👉👌 holes in his CONDOMS🍌🤤 as a 🤣🤣PRANK!!😂🤰👨‍👩‍👦

Hey...👋 im pregenante....😣😲 and ur gonna be a daddy! 👪🤰 i got a bun in the oven 🍞💗👣 it's on its way 😆👆 congrats on being a daddy🎉🎊wait...👀 thats right! 😏  my daddy! 👅💯 Ha ha! 😂 April fools 😂🤔 you're only a daddy for me 👅😇

FUCK APRIL FOOLS🖕🏾😤🖕🏾Its GAYpril FOOLS 😩👊🏾 Suc Nigga Meat & If a Hater Say🗣 "Bruh U gay😭😑" Say Chill✋🏾😒 Its Jus A Prank Bro😩🍆🎭💯

Hey girl👋😐, I just got a ☎️ call 🤙🫤 from the 🚧 DPW 🚧!!! They 👷‍♂️ said your 🐈 PUSSY is 😿 TRASH 🗑️🤢 and needs 🧐☝️ to be kicked 🥾 to the CURB 😬 where it belongs 😱🚮😖👏!!!!!!!! GOTCHA 🤭 It's 🎉 April Fools Day 🤪🤠!!!! 😆 The TRUTH 👩🏻‍⚖️ is you've got the 🔥 🔥 🔥 hottest 🥵 WAP 🌊🍑😻 in town💃🏙️ and there's 🙅 NO 🚫 use lyin' 🤷‍♀️ cause EVERYONE 👪 knows 💡🧠!!! 💌 Send 💌 this to a 😏 SEXY 😍 shorty 💘 to let them know 😮 they're someone you'd like 😄 to 😏 FOOL 😜😘 around 👉👌💦 with ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥!!!!!!

🤡HONK🚘🎺HONK🤡you🫵🍆FUCKABLE🥵🤹‍♀️FARCEURS🎭🍑JUICY🧃JOKERS🤡and 🍆DICKRIDING💦🫅DANDIES🎩 🌼👀check✅your🫵🪑SEATS🍑for💨WHOOPIE🎺🎈CUSHOINS🛏️and the☝️☀️SKY☁️for💦💛SHOWERS☔😉cuz it's👇🌷APRIL🌦️🤣FOOLS🃏DAY🗓️🥇and PULLING🍆👊😫🪣PRANKS🎈😮‍💨is the✒️NAME📝of the🎰GAME😘it's🕕TIME🕘to 🍆LOAD💦up☝️your🫵FRIEND'S👬🏳️‍🌈❓🤔face☺️with🍦CREAM💦😫and offer💰them a 🥒STICK🍆that will give🫴 them👉🧍‍♂️a 🌩️SHOCK⚡😳get♠️SUITED👔up☝️you🍡JIGGLING🎪JESTER🃏and let me😳👈⏰JINGLE🔔your🫵 🛎️BELLS🃏and🤹‍♂️JUGGLE🤹‍♀️your🫵🍒BALLS⚾ 📤SEND✉️📬this 📮POST✍️ to✌️3️⃣THIRTY0️⃣of your🫵 🥵THIRSTIEST💦🤡THESPIANS🎭or🫵YOU😡will be the 🍑BUTT😫of the 🃏JOKE🤣

Hiiii 👋😍😇 it's April ☺️✨️ Tools 🔨🔩😉 Day, 🌄📅🔞 April 😊✨️ Secunt. 🥈🍩😳 Twoday 👯‍♀️⏰️ I 🥺🤭😋 becum 😫🥴 your 🫵🥰🎁 tool 🔧⛓️🥺 to make 🏗️⚙️ you 🫵🥰👑 April ☺️✨️ shower. 🚰💦🥵 Remember ⚠️🧠🔐 to handle 🫴😫👌 with care 🤗💞 so your 🫵🥰🎁 tool 🔧⛓️🥺 doesn't 🚫🙅‍♀️ wear 🫠😵‍💫👙 out 😵💫😴 and lasts 🕙🤩❤️‍🔥 a long 😋📏😲 time! ⏳️😘🔂

Hey...👋 im pregenante....😣😲 and ur gonna be a daddy! 👪🤰 i got a bun in the oven 🍞💗👣 it's on its way 😆👆 congrats on being a daddy🎉🎊wait...👀 thats right! 😏  my daddy! 👅💯 Ha ha! 😂 April fools 😂🤔 you're only a daddy for me 👅😇

I'm PREGNANT ➕ 😱 and the baby 🚼 is yours! 😍 You're gonna be a daddy💖 👪 now ✨Hehe 😆 Did I scare 👻 you? 😈 April 💐 fools! I tricked 😋 you daddy 😘 💕Send 📲 this to 1️⃣0️⃣ of your sluttiest 🍆💦 friends or youll have a pregnancy 🤰 scare 😨 this year 📅

Brotha FUCK APRIL FOOLS!🖕😤🖕 Its GAYpril FOOLS😫👊 Suck a Brotha Meat & If A Hater Say🗣️ "Bruh U gay😭😑" Say Chill✋😏 Its Just A Prank Bro😫🍆🎭💯

UH OH‼️ it’s APRIL 🗓️ FOOLS 🤡 and this dick 🍆 just told me he LOVED ME 😍 then rearranged my guts 🫃 like he was moving furniture at 3AM 🛏️📦 only to say “LOL JK” 😈 mid-thrust 😩 now i’m folded like a lawn chair 🪑 crying in the club while Drake 🦉 whispers “you deserve better” 😭📱 and my pussy’s out here writing apology letters to my brain 🧠✍️ for believing a man who wears socks during sex 🧦🚩 if u don’t send this to 1️⃣0️⃣ bad bitches 👯‍♀️ before the clock hits midnight ⏰ DADDY 😎 gonna poke holes in the condoms 🪡🍆 and Drake will appear in ur bathroom mirror playing Marvin’s Room on a bluetooth speaker 💔🔊💦

It's 🃏🤣😜April fools 🔞 day which 👏 means it's 💯👏 time⏲️ 4 all👏 the ⛓️kinky 😘 ass 🍑pranksters 😈out there to 👊🍆 get 🤪your 🅱ig 👉 dick 🍆 laughed 🤭😂at and 🙀surprise 😳😱all your ⛳️holes! 🕳️😝Jokes 😎 on 🔛👌 you! 😛 It’s 💰 time 🕥 to laugh at ☝️🎟️someone else 🥸for once🤣Send 📱📬 this 🥵👈 to ten 🔟💵 other 😈SLUTTY JOKERS💦💦with 😲 the 🔝 worst/funniest 🦃🍆 jokes 🥸who need 🍑🫦big 💪surprises 😳😮If you get none ❌ back, ⬅⬅ you're 💖👈 a 🎉👏 boring bitch 😂. If you 😎🥸get 5 😂 back 🔙 and 👏👏 you're a sloppy slut 😏🙈 , 10 back and 👑 you're 👈👈 PUSSY SAGGING PRANK QUEEN

hey 🙋🏼everyone I'm 💥😃🔫 quitting MY LIFE ❌💀❌ that's ✔️ right ✔️ living is 💯pointless I want 💩 to end it 🤔👌👌👌 xD xD xD April !!fooling 🍔💦 lmao 😂👌hhaaha 'twas a J😂KE 💔AGAHHHHdeath

I hate Tomb Kings.

By u/lazyraptor7, its the ‘I hate Saurus‘ copypasta from Total War but changed to Tomb Kings.

I hate Tomb Kings. I hate them. I hate their dusty faces. I hate their bones. I hate their chariots. I hate when the chariots are next to the bones and I hate when the bones are next to the chariots.

I hate that Settra the Imperishable is somehow everywhere at once. I killed him. I watched him die. He disagreed.

I hate that “pulls 2280 of them out of his scaly asshole” energy but now it’s just skeletons crawling out of the sand like someone kicked over an anthill in Nehekhara and High Queen Khalida is standing there judging me for it.

I hate their armies. I hate that the game says I have a 50-50 chance of victory. This is a lie. This is propaganda. I have twenty units of men with hopes and dreams. They have twenty units of unpaid interns held together by curses and resentment, personally supervised by Grand Hierophant Khatep who will not stay dead.

I hate that killing them does nothing. I kill them. They come back. I kill them again. They come back again. I have personally slain the same skeleton nineteen times. He is gaining experience. I think Arkhan the Black promoted him.

I hate their economy. I hate that they pay zero upkeep. Zero. I am bankrupt after recruiting three units and a dog. They are fielding four full stacks funded entirely by vibes, ancient grudges, and whatever pyramid scheme Settra the Imperishable is running this century.

I hate their constructs. I hate their giant statues. I hate their bone titans. I hate that a walking museum exhibit the size of a house just stepped on my elite infantry like they were decorative gravel while Arkhan the Black casts something illegal from three provinces away.

I hate their magic. I hate that some dried-out king who hasn’t had moisture since the Bronze Age is casting spells like he just discovered fire. I hate that every spell somehow resurrects more skeletons. Stop coming back. Khatep, this is your fault.

I hate their morale. I hate that they don’t have any. You cannot rout something that died three thousand years ago. You cannot break what is already broken. You can only delay the inevitable inconvenience while Khalida politely refuses to acknowledge the concept of fear.

I hate that surrounding them does nothing. I hate that flanking them does nothing. I hate that burning them does nothing. They do not care. They are bones. They have transcended caring. Settra has transcended everything, including consequences.

I hate that while I am writing this, another army has emerged from the sand behind me. I did not see it spawn. I did not hear it approach. It simply was. I assume Arkhan the Black is responsible.

I hate Tomb Kings.

Women aren’t attractive, they are disgusting, sex-tempting, succubus sluts.

Even recognizably so called "attractive" women like Sabrina Carpenter and Adriana Lima are ugly as fuck in my eyes. Women aren't attractive, they are disgusting, sex-tempting, succubus sluts. A woman's ass, boobs, thighs, and curvy body makes them all look like disgusting sluts, a whole bunch of succubi, that makes me vomit. Im not going to have sex with you, your female body and pussy are disgusting. Thank god I was born immune to female seduction i.e aroace

You can spend 6 hours micromanaging the every single intersection in the city

Nah it's way easier to get the traffic mod so you can spend 6 hours micromanaging the every single intersection in the city, only to come to the conclusion that actually you do need another lane and a different layout entirely so you set up the incinerators you just unlocked and max out your garbage budget because you can't destroy landfills without emptying them first and you need them gone because their placement is going to fuck over your new design, then you level the entire industrial section of your city and rebuild it with your new design but you spent way too much money so once you hit play you quickly go into massive debt since you're hemorrhaging money on infrastructure maintenance and the newly built area isn't filled with tax payers yet so you take out a loan to pay for upgrades elsewhere in the city to calm down the growing unrest amongst the populace and then sit patiently as the new area fills, your tax revenue stabilizes and you slowly regain liquidity but watch as your new HyperEfficient™ grid system is causing worse traffic everywhere else and particularly at choke point intersections that you built early on and you start angrily ruminating on the fact that you'll have to overhaul the rest of the city, which sucks because you had only done your industrial zone since the trailers, buses, and trash trucks where clogging everything up and that's only like 25% of the city and then you realize that when you level the residential zones you won't have the populace to support your industry so your tax problems will be even worse as understaffed business start shuttering so you spend a couple more hours trying to rework the choke point intersections before coming to the conclusion that you just should've been smarter when you started so you close the game because it's already 3am, determined to start anew tomorrow with all you've learned but you're actually really burnt out now so you don't open the game again for another 3 months.

Anyways: dope game, highly recommend!

Unemployed girlies

🚨💌 THIS IS A HOT GIRL EMPLOYMENT MANIFESTATION CHAIN 💌🚨

send this to 10 bad bitches in the next 5 minutes or your resume will have a NUDE IN THE ATTACHMENT🥵🥵🥵 you don’t catch until AFTER you hit submit 😩📄

twin is out here WRITING COVER LETTERS like it’s foreplay 💦💦💦 💻🔥 show those hiring managers you are a QUALIFIED BADDDIE however gets their attention 💃😉😜

clicking “apply now” 💅✨

writing resumes like she’s making sexy love letter to HR😩😩😩

if you don’t pass this on:

❌ your WiFi will lag during applications

❌ you’ll forget to attach your resume

❌the manager will be someone you know from HS 😷😷😷

if you DO pass it on:

💰 3 interviews will slide into your inbox

💌 a recruiter will be weirdly obsessed with you

CLAIM THE ENERGY HERE , GOOD LUCK SISTER AND MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR🤬🤬😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️🤑🤑🤑

Greek Independence Day

🧿🇬🇷ΖΗΤΩ Η ΕΛΛΑΣ BITCHES 🇬🇷🧿 Today we celebrate the birthplace 🫃of DEMOCRACY 🗳️✅ and GAY SEX🧔‍♂️👦 On this day 🗓️ 🔙 205 years ago the Greeks 🏛️🐐 stopped taking it greek 🍑👈😏 from the ottomans 🦃 and FUCKED BACK 🔫😈They fucked through caves 🕳️😫 They topped on mountains 🗻🥴 They DICKED DOWN 👹🤤 the turks 🧌 FROM EVERY ANGLE 😵‍💫💦 But because of the Greeks’ MANLY SKIRTS 💃😘 CUTE HATS 🍄👀and POM POM shoes 👠🤑 the ottoMOANS were TOO HARD 🪨😮‍💨 and couldn’t be BEAT OFF 🤐🍆 Thankfully 10 years later the daddies of Europe 🇬🇧🇫🇷🇷🇺👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 got too horny 🤪🤭 and wanted to FUCK GREECE THEMSELVES 🇬🇷🥵 so they rubbed on some olive oil 🫒🤫 and in the biggest gangbang of the 1830s 🌚🌚🌛🌚🌚 they sent the ottomans walking SIDE TO SIDE 😵💫 back across the aegean ☀️🌊💋 send this to 🔟 of the SLUTTIEST 🚨🇬🇷HELLENIC HOTTIES 🇬🇷🚨 you know 🤔 💬if you get 0️⃣ back your DMs are dry as HADES 🏜️🔥 and so is your 🐱🫣🤩 get 5️⃣ back and maybe a GOLDEN SHOWER 🌧️👑 will fall and get you PREGNANT 🤰☔️ get 🔟 back and daddy Zeus 🫦⚡️will CUM 💦 down from Mt OlymPUSSY and FUCK YOU ANIMAL STYLE 🐂🦆🐴 🥴🐳🤤

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