Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.
Writing this the day after with her permission. Not sure if this is even allowed here but fuck it.
I’ve always been very close with my twin sister. She is one of the greatest things in my life and one of the most Beautiful women I’ve ever seen. We both use Reddit but she is much more private and doesn’t comment nor post. She knew what my Reddit avatar looked like from passing by my computer buy never my username. A month ago she saw me playing Coffin and I told her what it was.
Fast forward to yesterday and I see her playing the game as I’m heading to somehwere. When I comeback and sit on our couch she comes to me and tells me that she joined the subreddit since she loved the game and asks me to meet her on our balcony, which is basically the only private space in our apartment. It was dark out and we were on the fourth floor. Whrn the balcony door closes, she tells me that she saw the shit I say online, specifically in this sub and that she’s always found me attractive but never wanted to say anything since she thought it would be weird. We then proceded to have quiet, but very good sex outside, and afterwards she says she loves me.
So, from the bottom of me and my beautiful sisters heart, thank you all for providing such a unhinged place for me to speak in, and giving my sister the oppportunity to find out about me. God bless you all!
I'm just trying to go about my school life normally but in maths the most unbearable group of somewhat popular people sit behind me. they make 'ironic' skibidi toilet gyatt rizzler jokes but it's every other word out of their mouth in this unbearable false American accent and it makes me want to tear off my skin and swim in the dead sea. just listening to that brain-dead god awful shit is enough to send anyone to a mental asylum. an average conversation between them sounds like this
"I got a question right I'm so skibidi sigma" "yess get that fanum tax gyatt girlypop" "let's ask sir if he has level five gyatt" "this lesson is so sigma guys"
and they have asked sir if he has level five gyatt, multiple times. the worst part is when I begged them to shut their fucking traps they just added me into the melting pot of horseshit jokes, saying stuff like "sticking out your gyatt for the rizzler you're so skibidi which I know jesse doesn't like" I hate secondary school i hate gen alpha I hate skibidi toilet this shit is one of my reasons
Hey everyone,
So, I've been doing a lot of thinking and planning about my future career, and after countless hours of research and introspection, I've come to a decision that I feel really good about: I want to work at Google. It's like, they've got everything. The cool offices, amazing projects, and free snacks!!!! ffs!
Now, here's the thing. We all know how competitive it is to get a job at Google. I mean, they only have so many spots, and I really, really want one of them. I'm not that good at coding, so, I've come up with a strategy that I think is going to help me out, and I need your cooperation.
This might sound a bit unconventional, but hear me out. I'm kindly requesting, for the sake of my career aspirations, that everyone here on r/csmajors please refrain from applying to Google this year. Just for this year. Think of it as a personal favor to a fellow CS major who has their heart set.
I know we're all striving to make it big in the tech world, but if you could please consider other companies for your applications this year, that would be great. There are plenty of other amazing tech companies out there! Microsoft, Amazon, Facebook – the list goes on. Google is just one of many.
I appreciate your understanding and cooperation in this matter. It's not every day that someone gets a shot at their dream job, and with your help, I'm hoping to make my dream a reality. Let's all support each other's aspirations, starting with not applying to Google. Just for this year, please and thank you!
Sincerely, A Future Googler
University version
Hey everyone,
So, I've been doing a lot of thinking and planning about my future career, and after countless hours of research and introspection, I've come to a decision that I feel really good about: I want a to enter a University. It's like, they've got everything. The money, the work, and a purpose in life!!!! ffs!
Now, here's the thing. We all know how competitive it is to get into a good University. I mean, there's only so many spots, and I really, really want one of them. I'm not that good at being smart, so, I've come up with a strategy that I think is going to help me out, and I need your cooperation.
This might sound a bit unconventional, but hear me out. I'm kindly requesting, for the sake of my academic aspirations, that everyone here on r/csmajors please refrain from applying to universities this year. Just for this year. Think of it as a personal favor to a fellow CS major who has their heart set.
I know we're all striving to make it big in the tech world, but if you could please consider self studying this year, that would be great. There is a plenty of material out there! YouTube, libraries, internet the list goes on. Universities are just one of many.
I appreciate your understanding and cooperation in this matter. It's not every day that someone gets a shot at their dream university, and with your help, I'm hoping to make my dream a reality. Let's all support each other's aspirations, starting with not going to universities. Just for this year, please and thank you!
Sincerely, A Future Student
The ‘You have been reported. I am a Volunteer Reddit moderator’ is an old classic copypasta that started in Reddit around 2018. It is often used as satire on Redditors who thinks that they are above others and hold significant power online similar to Discord moderators
You have been reported.
I am not a bot. I am a Volunteer Reddit moderator. I do not have mod powers but my reports are taken seriously and those who get on my bad side tend to get banned in under 24 hours. I have numerous rules, which you may read in my post history, but 1 is the most important rule of all
• I am an officer in training, and I expect to be treated the same way I would be with my uniform and badge.
Watch your back and get used to this face kiddo, you’ll be seeing a lot of it.
Hello. This is my main reddit account. Around 2 years ago Ive decided to create 10 alt accounts, and write the most random shit (aka en passant copypasta) on several shit posting subs, each line from different account, hoping that the joke will eventually get big.
But it didnt. Ive waited days, weeks, even months. But everything failed.
And than it hit me. If I cant make a joke famous, im gonna make it seem famous. And so, I spent 3 month straight creating more and more reddit accounts, making sure every single one would not look like just a bot(posting something on different subs, commenting, etc)
After all this time, Ive created around 70, 000 different accounts. And so it was time. Ive created r/anarchychess, made several accounts mods to make it seem legit. And it finally was en passant'in time.
Every single en passant chain you see is mine. Every single post about en passant- i made it. The en passant joke was never funny, nor was it popular. It was just me, from moms basement, with the whole comedy world at my fingertips.
To conclude, i will make a comment under this post from most of my alt accounts, as they all wouldnt fit in just this post.
My best bro Jeff turned himself into a femboy, he calls himself Crystal. Yesterday we were PVPing in Minecraft and everytime I hit him he moaned quietly, after some time I told him to stop, even though I was hard as fuck by then. He said "Tee hee, fine I'll stop b-baka(he likes japanese cartoons and comic books), look at me now." I minimized the Minecraft window and my jaw dropped, there it was on my screen. Jeff's asshole, he streamed it to me on discord, the quality was pretty good for a webcam.
My girlfriend walked into the room. Thankfully my reflexes were good enough after all those years of masturbation, I quickly minimized discord window. My gf looked me in the eyes and said "Was there your buddy Jeff's asshole on the screen just now?" Oh no, I wasn't quick enough. "Honey, it's not Jeff, it's Crystal" I mumbled. "What the fuck? It's totally Jeff, I would recognise his asshole anytim-" she stopped herself "Anyway, we are breaking up, you cheating scum!" my gf yelled and left. "Damn, bro, you ended my relationship" I said into the mic sadly. His response was "Ok, wanna fuck?"
So, Reddit, should I? uhmmm... auughhummmm.... do the thinggg??? 🧐😩🤔 I crave some bussy, but it is NNN after all...
