Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.
Fitgirl can NOT have a virus!!!!!!
Let me break it down for you, champ: I only download from THE OFFICIAL SITE, so it’s literally impossible for me to get a virus. Literally. Impossible. As we speak, I’m unzipping a 90GB repack of a game I’ll play for five minutes using WinRAR—the 2016 version, obviously, because updating it is for cowards. You think I’m worried about exploits? Please, those are for people who don’t know how to click “Skip All” during installation. Maybe if you weren’t downloading “fitgirl-repacks-bestgames-free.ru,” you wouldn’t be crying about malware.
I’m untouchable. My antivirus doesn’t even blink when I install cracked games because it knows I’m a professional. Not only do I have the ancient wisdom of Reddit telling me everything is fine, but I’m also extensively trained in spotting fake repacks by vibes alone. And here you are, thinking you know better, while I’m confidently pirating games that I could easily buy on Steam for $5 during a sale. Absolute amateur hour.
If only you knew the bliss of downloading hundreds of gigabytes of games without a care in the world, maybe you wouldn’t embarrass yourself by suggesting piracy isn’t safe. But you did. And now you’re paying the price for your ignorance, fool. I’m going to compress your entire argument into a corrupted .RAR, throw in a couple of fake DLLs, and watch you panic when your PC starts beeping like a microwave. You’re done, kid. FitGirl isn’t just a name—it’s a lifestyle. A dumb one, sure, but a lifestyle nonetheless.
I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than having a daughter. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are feeding, clothing, raising and rearing a girl for at least 18 years solely so she can go and get ravaged by another man. All the hard work you put into your beautiful little girl - reading her stories at bedtime, making her go to sports practice, making sure she had a healthy diet, educating her, playing with her. All of it has one simple result: her body is more enjoyable for other men.
Raised the perfect girl? Great. Who benefits? If you're lucky, a random man who had nothing to do with the way she grew up, who marries her. He gets to ravage her every night. He gets the benefits of her kind and sweet personality that came from the way you raised her.
As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for another man to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL cuck. Think about it logically.
WELL WELL WELL IF IT ISN'T THE HORNY MFER THEMSELF! LET ME GUESS, YOU'D SAY "would" TO THIS ARTWORK OF A FEMALE CHARACTER? WELL, GO ON. WE'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOUR SUPER SANE AND ORIGINAL STATEMENT! GO ON! SAY "I would smash so hard." COME ON, SAY IT!
I CAN’T FUCKING STAND THESE DISCOUNT "GANGSTERS" IN SCHOOL ANYMORE!!!
FIRST OF ALL, YOU ARE NOT TOUGH, TYLER. YOU’RE A 5’6" STRING BEAN WHO CRIES WHEN YOUR MOM TAKES YOUR PS5 AWAY. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU EAT KETCHUP SANDWICHES AND THINK IT'S A GOURMET MEAL. SHUT UP.
STOP SAYING "cuh I'm from the streets who you tryna fuck with?" WHAT STREETS? THE ONES IN YOUR SUBURBAN GATED COMMUNITY? "ayo I'm hard as hell" HARD WHERE??? THE ONLY HARD THING ABOUT YOU IS YOUR MOM TRYING TO GET YOU TO TAKE YOUR OWN SHOWER INSTEAD OF HER GIVING YOU YOUR FIFTH BUBBLE BATH OF THE DAY!
YOU THINK YOU’RE COOL BECAUSE YOU VAPE AND SMOKE WEED IN THE BATHROOM?? WOW BRO, NOTHING SCREAMS "I’M A BADASS" LIKE A WATERMELON FLAVORED CLOUD IN A STALL THAT SMELLS LIKE PEED-ON LINOLEUM AND LING CANCER. HONESTLY, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SELL USED VAPE PODS TO FIFTH GRADERS FOR LUNCH MONEY
ALSO STOP ACTING LIKE FLIPPING OFF THE TEACHER IS GANGSTER. YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU’RE GONNA CRY IN THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE AND BE LIKE “PLEASE, MY MOM CAN’T FIND OUT” AND THEN PRETEND YOU’RE A THUG AGAIN IN FIFTH PERIOD. YOU CAN’T EVEN HANDLE GETTING YELLED AT WITHOUT YOUR VOICE CRACKING. YOU SOUND LIKE A CHIHUAHUA ON A NICOTINE FIT
YOU ARENT FUCKING COOL FOR BEING A DISRESPECTFUL LITTLE CUNT. YOU ARENT COOL FOR MAKING YOUR ENTIRE FOOTBALL TEAM DO LAPS BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO TELL THE COACH HES A PUSSY, AND YOU CERTAINLY ARENT COOL FOR GETTING THE ENTIRE CLASS IN TROUBLE BECAUSE YOU SPAT ON A SUBSTITUTE.
AND HOLY SHIT CAN YOU STOP SCREAMING SLURS LIKE IT’S A FUCKING PERSONALITY TRAIT? I SWEAR EVERY TIME YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH, A BABY ANGEL DIES. WHY DO YOU THINK BEING RACIST MAKES YOU COOL?? ALL YOU ARE IS AN UNSEASONED PASTY ASS CRACKER WITH THE EMOTIONAL RANGE OF A DRY ERASER.
AND THEN THERE’S THE FIGHTING. OH MY GOD THE FUCKING FIGHTING. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO THROW HANDS. YOU SWING LIKE A DRUNK TODDLER WHO JUST LEARNED WHAT A FIST IS. THE REASON YOU’RE FIGHTING?? “HE LOOKED AT ME FUNNY.” WHAT ARE YOU, A FUCKING PEACOCK?? SIT DOWN, JERRY. YOU’RE NOT INTIMIDATING, YOU LOOK LIKE A HALF-DEFLATED CAPRISUN.
AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY STOP CALLING YOURSELF A HOOD RAT. YOU’RE A FUCKING SPOILED, MILK-TOAST, UNSALTED BUTTER STICK OF A HUMAN BEING. YOU GET ANGRY WHEN YOUR STARBUCKS ORDER IS WRONG AND THEN TURN AROUND AND ACT LIKE YOU’RE IN THE FUCKING CARTEL. NO ONE IS BUYING IT, BRADLEY. YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A DICK
YOU’RE NOT SCARY, YOU’RE NOT COOL, YOU’RE NOT A THUG. YOU’RE JUST A LOUD, INSECURE, ANNOYING LITTLE PRICK WHO THINKS ACTING LIKE A DICKHEAD IS A SUBSTITUTE FOR HAVING A PERSONALITY.
SHUT. THE FUCK. UP.
When i was young i had some kind of rot gut that caused me to shit every 10 minutes.
I remember trying to lay on the couch, in pain and clearly not having a good time. Every 2 seconds my grandma would try to spark up some inane conversation that i had 0 interest in.
I told her NUMEROUS times that im not going to respond, because i was busy dying.
Clearly she didnt get the hint and kept trying to talk about what was going on outside. After i just stopped responding, i was hit with the ol "I GUESS IM TALKING TO MYSELF HUH!?". Followed by "I see the kids across the street are playing" 2 minutes later.
Never did i want to beat someone into submission more in my life. But at that point, i dont think i could physically get up long enough to deliver that beating.
So i just drug myself to the other side of the house out of eye sight and had to drag myself to the bathroom every few minutes for the foamy white dumps to come.
I lose my lane in the first 5 minutes. I go 0-10 through the game. I have the least souls in the game. My build is shit. My aim is shit. My game-sense is shit. I am waiting to respawn for 50% of the game. I die first in team fights. All of this, but I still keep winning. My teammates carry me through every game. I have resigned myself to be the team backpack. I’m am doing nothing more than watching my wraith or haze assemble the stones to the infinity gauntlet and snap the entire enemy team out of existence. I am nothing more than morale support. I’m the water boy. I am the dancing monkey that entertains my team as they carry me to victory. The more I win, the harder the games get and the harder I throw. At this point I have Netflix open on the other screen to watch while respawning. I want to loose but my luck is too much. Some consider luck to be a part of skill. If that is true, how can someone have absolutely zero skill have so much luck? The other day I left my computer open and my cat walk over the keyboard. To my surprise, Bebop (my 10 y.o. Hairless cat) opened deadlock, queued Paradox, and demolished the enemy team 20-0. My cat is better than I am. I am lower than an animal. I want to uninstall the game, but my aim is so bad I cannot even hit the uninstall button. I try to play a different game but I accidentally open up deadlock and queue vindicta in a matter of milliseconds. I am sincerely sorry if I am on your team, you don’t want me to be there, I don’t want to be there. If you want to avoid me, I queue from 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm central time, on the east coast servers. This is a warning for all who queue during these times. I apologize in advance. Goodbye to all, I am off to queue vindicta.
