Skip to content

Reddit

Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.

No Future for this nigga

    No Future for this nigga
    byu/IOPERTYS inplayboicarti

    By u/IOPERTYS, its another banger post from r/playboicarti sub in 2021 which had become a meme.

    My little brother is a god damm fucking loser this man has no life he stinks he is musty he doesn't take showers he wakes up every day in the morning and the first thing he does is get on a call with his friends NO SHOWER NO BRUSHING HIS TEETH nigga STINKS this niggas teeth is so messed up like they going LEFT AND RIGHT it's like his teeth are throwing gang signs THEY ARE YELLOW NIGGA LIKE BUTTER, nigga goes to school to try to fight girls he a Gay ass nigga and he denying it to NIGGA FINGERS HIMSELF, HE SHOWS HIS SMALL PP FOR BOYS ON CALL, HE TWERKS FOR BOYS NIGGA FAILING ALL HIS CLASSES, this nigga a failure he not making it nowhere in life I'm just being real

    I propose to change the name of the game to “Book Producer Simulation”.

      By u/BigPapa9921, its a satirical post on how Europa Universalis V turns into a book management simulator due to the demand curve for books.

      The real challenge in EU5 isn’t learning the supply demand cycle, or figuring out whether levies or regulars are better, or understanding how the fucking frontage works. It’s not about juggling coalitions or keeping a vassal swarm alive. It’s not trying to raise crown power without collapsing your nation.

The real challenge is BOOK PRODUCTION for fucks sake.

Everything is going well. Economy is good, techs are advancing, people and estates are happy.

But then suddenly:

MISSING GOODS (BOOKS)

No matter what I do, I cannot satisfy my people's endless, unholy love for reading. I’ve got scriptoriums everywhere, from my 3,000 person village to my 150,000 population big-ass city.

My people won’t shut up, they’re all demanding to read “Agricultural Techniques for Idiots (1410 Edition) VOL III.” in their own obscure local dialect.

And I can’t provide it.

What am I, a bad king?

Are the clerics in my scriptoriums writing one page every three months? Why aren’t they working?

No, no.

The real problem is those bastard goblin BURGHERS.

The moment I produce books, before they reach my people, the Burghers snatch them away and brag:

“Bro I sold all your books to the Lithuania for 0.02 ducats profit each. Guess I’m a trade genius huh?”

Universities are starving, libraries are empty. They are all screaming

"Sire, we cannot “think”. The Burghers sold our textbook"

"Milord, we finished an whole sentence in just one week, but those Burghers took it from us"

I’m not ruling an empire anymore.

All I do is library management.

My life goal now is to keep the medieval PDF industry alive.

Millions must read, millions must become literate...

      There is genuinely nothing on this godforsaken website that makes me want to throw my laptop out a window more than programming memes.

        By u/Consistent_Equal5327, it was a rant on low effort programmer humor in Reddit. The original post had been removed by mods but the rant was copy and pasted in the comment and r/copypasta sub.

        There is genuinely nothing on this godforsaken website that makes me want to throw my laptop out a window more than programming memes. I'm talking seething, irrational hatred.

"Spent 6 hours debugging, it was a missing semicolon haha"

WHICH FUCKING COMPILER ARE YOU USING THAT DOESN'T TELL YOU THIS IMMEDIATELY? Show me. I want receipts. Every compiler since the dawn of time will scream at you "EXPECTED SEMICOLON ON LINE 23 YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKFACE" the second you try to run it. Your IDE is highlighting it in red. Your linter is having an aneurysm. How is this supposed to be relatable?

"Haha I can't exit Vim"

Oh fuck off. Fuck ALL the way off. You know what every terminal has? A CLOSE BUTTON. An X in the corner. Alt+F4. Task manager. You have OPTIONS. And even if you wanted to do it properly, :q takes literally one second to Google. This is besides the fucking fact that any of those guys will never ever use vim.

"JavaScript == vs ===" with some galaxy brain meme

This is in every single JavaScript tutorial ever written. This is not obscure knowledge. This is page 1 of learning the language. Why are we acting like this is some mind-blowing gotcha?

"Works perfectly for months, adds one comment, everything breaks"

NO IT DOESN'T. COMMENTS DON'T BREAK CODE. THAT'S NOT HOW COMPUTERS WORK. Unless you're writing in some fucked up esolang, comments are ignored. This literally cannot happen.

These are just examples I can think of at the moment. But all of them are near same stupidty.

The thing that drives me absolutely fucking insane is that these memes get THOUSANDS of upvotes. THOUSANDS. And they're not funny. They're not relatable. They're not even based in reality. They're just the same tired bullshit regurgitated by people who either don't actually code or learned everything they know from other memes.

For something to be funny it needs to have SOME connection to actual reality. I hate them so much. Every time I see one I age 5 years. My blood pressure spikes.

I keep seeing them. Every day. Same jokes. Different template. Over and over and over like some kind of hell specifically designed for me.

Anyway I'm going back to debugging. It's 2 AM and I can't find the missing semicolon (in Python btw).

        Ferro vs purple/yellow guns

          By u/Skolary, its an Arc Raiders story of how the Ferro beats other higher tier weapons and how players are misled into thinking the purple/yellow outline means they are good weapons.

          The purple/yellow lining fools the eye of the beholder into believing they’re going to demolish whatever walks across their path.

They get this premonition in their mind, they cannot die with this loadout. For 2 reasons:

(1) This is a purple gun, whoever they come up against stands no chance

(2) If they die with this thing, it’s going to set them back into the Bronze Age.

So they bring this gun they’re not/barely familiar with into raid. They gun down a hornet, maybe a wasp. And the thing already isn’t downing Arc in less than a millisecond, and the feelings are rusty already.

They start getting comfy, and suddenly get piped by a Ferro shot out of absolutely nowhere.

And you might as well call it a raid after this, throw all quick tactical thinking out the back door. And insert, ”I cannot die with this thing. I cannot with this thing. I can. Not. Die..”

They decide to take a Ferro one on one, long range.. and they’re sadly mistaken. ”How could this happen? It’s a Ferro… it’s not supposed to do anything better than my.. my preciousess..”

They either run, or keep at it until their shield breaks. Keep peeking on a guy who has one of the best weapons for that range. Believing their little purple item should dominate at everything. Ever.

So much so, that it should’ve also had the ability to have them absorb Ferro shots on top of being a gun.

After making a series of irrational decisions, brought on by an irrational belief that this weapon is milestones better than all others. When in reality, it’s fractions at best.. and it’s still not going to out perform anything outside of its range of power.

The Ferro goblin stands over the corpse, looting its pockets. And.. what’s this…

It’s so shiny. It’s so beautiful. My eyes have never.. my eyes..

My precious

          You were responsible for the holocaust, the Armenian genocide, WW2, the Korean war, the Vietnam War, 9/11, the Arab Spring…

            Comment
            byu/VisWare from discussion
            inNonCredibleDefense
            Maybe that's only because you were responsible for the holocaust, the Armenian genocide, WW2, the Korean war, the Vietnam War, 9/11, the Arab Spring, the Crusades, the Islamic invasion of Spain, you were also responsible for driving the Jews out of Israel in the first place,in fact the Egyptians did nothing wrong; it was you who was responsible for enslaving the Jews. You are secretly a scaly and one day while you were wearing your snake suit you tricked Eve and told her to eat the apple. You also killed Abel. You also lead the Mongol invasions of everywhere. And the Hun invasions. And the Mughal invasions of India. And the Viking invasions.You were the guy who started colonialism(only the invading part not the part where they provided technology and medicine to the natives). After you tested positive for Covid19, you spit on Native Americans, nearly driving them extinct. You also killed all the dinosaurs. You were also behind the Bronze age collapse. You single-handedly did the Triangular Slave Trade; hell you were the guy you bought the slaves from. You also beheaded a French teacher for disrespecting Mohammad, and blamed it on wholesome Muslimerinos. All the blood diamonds are produced by you. You were the guy who cut Congolese workers hands off because they did not meet your supply. You chased Kyyle Rittenhouse in Kenosha with a skateboard and beat him up and snatched his rifle, and used it to kill Jacob Blake. During the BLM protests you were the one who looted and burned all the stores. Even during the Charolletsville incident, they were all shadow-clones of you. You did Pearl Harbor and bombed Hiroshima and Nagasaki. You were the mastermind of the Holodomor, the Great Leap Forward, East Germany and every time a tankie screams "It was not real communism", you were involved. You grilled the last dodo. You shoot Palestinian kids for fun and shoot missiles at Israeli civilians. You were the guy who killed all those Rohingyas, and Uyghurs. You were also involved the current Hong Kong situation; so much involved that you were the one who sold opium to the Chinese. The Irish potato famine, Africa, the Bengal Famine; all because of you. You commit human rights violations on North Korean citizens everyday. Al Qaeda, Mujaheddin, Boko-Haram, Taliban; YOU. You also killed the prophet of the wholesome 100 Muslimerinos, Sulemani; in a missile strike. You also did the Rape of Nanjing and it was you who ordered and supplied all the Korean comfort women. You personally snitched on Anne Frank to you. The Jim Crow laws were passed by you, as well as the war on drugs. The partition of India was your fault, as well as the resulting Kashmir issue. You also starred in the Cuban missile crisis and started the cold war. During the Russian Revolution, the peasants understood that Nikolai II's family was innocent, and would offer them a chance to leave, but you massacred them. You tried your best but failed in preventing the American and French Revolutions, but you got back at them by causing the Reign of Terror. You tortured Louis XVI's son and forced him into saying that he had sex with his mother and aunt, and promptly guillotined them. You invented pineapple-pizza and Tofu-Chicken. You were the guy who snitched on Alan Turing, revealing that he was gay. The judge felt that such a respected professor could be sent away with a slap on the wrist, but you rigged the jury and sentenced him to hormonal therapy. You rigged the New York Stock Exchange and caused the great depression. In the town of Waco, you raped a woman, blamed it on a black man and lynched him by burning him alive. You were the leader of the Khmer Rouge and wrote the plot for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Despite making up only 3.0211238398812703164724804575659e-7 % of the population you commit 100% of the crimes. You also were the dictator of Uganda. You regularly kill journalists and opposition leaders in Russia. You were behind Princess Diana's car crash. You fucked a monkey and started the AIDS pandemic. You started coronavirus and ebola and the Black Death and the Spanish flu and the Bubonic plague and the syphillis outbreak and the Trojan war and the Bush war and the fall of Rome and the Dark Ages. After taking a dump, you leave your toilet paper like this. You burned down the Notre Dame, and knelled on George Floyds neck. You also were the guy who sold drugs to George Floyd. You are the reason I am the only person in my class who doesn't have a girlfriend. You are the reason why the Armenia Azerbaijan crisis is even there.

            Bro, you’re so like me, just a little bit cooler. You understand, maybe we were meant to be together.

              Comment
              byu/TrenSetterrrr from discussion
              inmoreplatesmoredates
              Bro, you're so like me, just a little bit cooler. You understand, maybe we were meant to be together. Just think about it, If you were a woman we'd definitely have sex together, watch horror movies, play videogames together, and philosophize about life and stuff. Well, let's drop the bar to femboy. Well, yknow, It doesn't matter if you're man or woman. So think about it.