Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.
Obligatory this happened 5 years ago but we are still very much happily married today and having lots of sex every day. A bit of a backstory, my dick is fucking huge. I have a 12 inches with 5 inch diameter. I also last really long in bed. Also me and my wife are polyamorous so hmu if you wanna try something ;).
Now, to the story. My wife and I were into vanilla sex only at the time. I was getting kind of bored one day so I suggested she peg me with her giant futa cock instead of the other way around while she masturbates me to vaporeon porn. Now, because my dick is so fucking large, it took a lot of effort to switch positions, and while in the process of doing so, my dominant pelvic thrusts slapped her cock out of the way and it slipped into her asshole. Now, this felt really good, so I kept going even though she yelled at me to stop and that it hurt. After I nutted inside her I sat down on my pewdiepie gamer chair to work on my star wars minecraft build. Reddit, AITA?
TLDR: Accidentaly buttfucked my futa cock girlfiend with my giant penis while she begged me to stop.
Edit: Thank you for the gold kind strangers!!1!11!!
Edit 2: Alot of you wanted a TLDR so I have added one to the end of the post.
Edit 3: Some of you guys are saying I was NTA or am TA for different reasons so I've taken all of your guys'sses' advice and will hit the gym then enlarge my cock then fuck her even harder next time in the dick and make sure to hide the gorilla glue. TYSM fellow holesome 100 fedora tipping keanu chungus redditors.
When I was a teenager I got super bored and decided I wanted to see if I could get a fetish on purpose. I set up an experiment to see if I could get a fetish for something extremely non-sexual if I tried hard enough. So every time I wanted to whack it, I ignored looking up porn and instead looked up computer insides and maintenance imagery on google and tried to jack off to it. I did this for like a month or two and then forgot about it because it wasn't working, and now like five years later I realise I accidentally pavlov'd myself into associating sex with machine maintenance. The real kicker is that I'm the family's computer guy so I had to go to my grandma's house to fix the printer there, and I had to pull out the toner drum and I legitimately felt like I was doing something perverse. I could not stop getting nervous the entire time I was there because I was anxious about my poor unsuspecting family somehow finding out that opening up the printer gets my dick hard :/ TL;DR Jacked off to computer parts when I was like 15 cause I was bored and now I'm scared shitless of fixing my grandma's printer in case I get a boner
EDIT: Sorry if any of my friends who know this about me saw that i put this on reddit for clout. Thought id at least get something out of the debacle
So I don't care about sex and whatever, so I'm in GameStop with my friend (female) and she decides while im trying to look for a new game to just grab my pp.
I'm sitting there, unaffected with no boner still looking for a game.
She's shocked at how I don't care and all I say is "Hands off my cock." just like how Falco kinda says it in Super Smash Bros.
She wont respond to my texts.
Update: She texted me back just saying "Are you gay or something?" And I responded with "Show me ya moves!"
Now im blocked.
“Heroin Nazi Rapist DM” doesn’t exists in any pasta archives. Y’all got baited hard by a greentext post on 4chan that was crossposted on Reddit. Jebaited hard and left to dust.
Oldest 4chan trick in the book. Reference something interesting then pretend it's actually too hardcore to post, just to troll.
So I was sexing my hot gf who I have lots of sex with when I fucked up today. Since I was about to cum I pulled out you know? She got ready to take my load all over her face but I came too hard because the sex was so sexy that I blew her head off like a shotgun Edit: all of you saying this is fake can shut up. This is 1000% real and I’m dealing with a very traumatic loss right now. Stop being inconsiderate please and thank you.
my husband refuses to look for a job even though I think it would be good for him (And we could use the additional income), but he just says he’s, “got too much on his plate already”.
That being monitoring these stupid subreddits. And Everytime I bring it up he claims what he’s doing is unpaid labor similar to that of a homemaker. But he doesn’t clean or cook or do any of that the way he used to. He just monitors his stupid subreddits. I don’t know what to do.
Sometimes I want to leave him because I believe I may not be able to reach him.
