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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.

Do you pretend to “hunt prey” while running?

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    So I was running for the first time in a year today, im overweight (6’3 215) and I genuinely have a very uncoordinated body and I decided to go for a 5k. I wanted to stop looking at strava on my phone and instead distracted myself with my thoughts. I suddenly remebered seeing a video online on how our ancestors use to hunt prey for hours at a time in order to tire out prey and secure food, so with each lap I finished I kept pretending that I was chasing prey to feed my family and with each lap I kept throwing imaginary spears and bow and arrows with the goal of finally “catching prey” when I was down with my run. Honestly for the first time running in a while it kept my mind off of things and I sprinted last few seconds to secure a 36 minute 5k which I’m assuming is terrible. My knees and joints are about cooked right about now and I honestly don’t wanna think about what I’m gonna feel like tommorow. Anyways during my run I feel like I activated an ancient ancestral gene that made me push further in a run than I ever had and honestly felt amazing catching my prey (finishing 5k).
Do you guys have makeup stories to make your run more bearable? Or do you just focus on making it to the end?

    My significant other likes to go “monkey mode” while playing Winston

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      My significant other likes to go “monkey mode” while playing Winston 

My significant other recently started playing Overwatch. At first, it was just a hobby, the usual stuff, maybe a bit of shouting at the screen. But lately, their behavior has taken a very strange turn, specifically when they play as this one character who is a large gorilla.

Whenever they start playing as him, they immediately switch into this weird, deep cartoonish voice and say “greetings” over and over again to whoever they are playing with online. It’s annoying, but I could live with that. The real problem is when they start doing well in the game.

They call it “monkey mode.” Whenever they get a few kills or win a fight, they completely abandon the chair, climb onto our bed, and start crawling around on their knuckles like a gorilla. They actually beat their chest. It’s become such a common occurrence that I feel like I can’t even be in the room while they’re gaming anymore. It’s incredibly jarring to go from a quiet evening to hearing thumping, chest-beating, and weird grunting from the bedroom.

To make matters worse they’ve also developed an obsession with the song “Gucci Gang” by Lil Pump but replaced the lyrics to say “Gooshway Gang” (who I believe is a chinese professional player). They sing it constantly. Not just while playing, but while we’re cooking dinner, while they’re getting ready for work, just randomly around the house.

I’ve brought up how its driving me crazy but they just sort of laugh it off like it’s a joke or an “inside thing” with their online friends. Am I overreacting? Is this behavior normal among Overwatch players? Winston players?

      A bar walks into a man…

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A bar walks into a man...

The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs.

The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar.

The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood.

The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily.

Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

        Just to be clear, I’m not a professional “quote maker”. I’m just an atheist teenager

          AKA the “In This Moment I am Euphoric” copypasta is a post written by u/Aalewis on the atheism sub in 2013 where it was mocked for being extremely cringeworthy.

          

Just to be clear, I'm not a professional "quote maker". I'm just an atheist teenager who greatly values his intelligence and scientific fact over any silly fiction book written 3,500 years ago. That being said, I am open to any and all criticism.

"In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessing. But because, I am englightened by my intelligence." - Aalewis

Eh?

          Solicited places to meet women in Austin

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            Hi,

I am 32 European White beautiful Male. What places I should try in Austin and what times where females are expecting to find solicited males? Solicited means women expect to see men in those places and no unsolicited stuff is going to happen.

Do not offer dummy apps, I am not a fan of that, I want to see women in real, no fake women please, no headache please.

Thank you