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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.


My boyfriend is spending $1000/month on OnlyFans woman

    I (31F) have been with my boyfriend (30M) for a year, and we’re moving in together. I do accounting so I’m calculating our finances to estimate what we can afford. I noticed a $1000 charge EVERY month on his statements. I asked about it and he said it’s for OnlyFans woman. He says he's never cheated and never will and he's never met or talked to this woman. She's American so he says there is no chance of anything happening, but there’s no reason to stop paying once we live together.
    
    I'm stunned. My boyfriend is a simp. There are no other words. I do not object to the pornography with consenting adults and I don't care if he looks at it. But we’ve been together for a year. Continued simping when we live together and merge our finances is red flag. I've said I'm uncomfortable and won't live with him if he continues simping, but he just repeats the never cheated act. I feel like I'm being gaslighted because now he's angry I won't live with him. I needed to get this out to process because I was so shocked when I found out my boyfriend is a simp.

    My wife confided in me recently that she has a scat fetish. I love her so we tried it this weekend but I really didn’t enjoy it.

      My wife is into scat
      I'm on a throwaway since I don't want to talk about this on my main. So about a week ago my wife told me she thought the idea of eating my asshole was hot and she wanted to do it. I thought that was kind of weird so I laughed and said I guess we can try it but I asked her what was do hot about it and either some gentle prodding I got to the heart of the issue. She wanted to try eating my shit.
      
      I love my wife so, so much. We've been married for 6 years, have two beautiful children and a wonderful life together. I figured that I could at least try it even though the thought makes me squeamish. For her. She definitely does sexual things (albeit a bit more "normal" things) for me that don't really get her off so I thought what's the harm?
      
      Well she took the kids to her moms house yesterday and told me to shower. I showed and she had a drink for me when I got out. I drank a couple more then we went to the bathroom and got naked and she laid in the tub (for easy cleanup) and I crouched over her with my asshole exposed. She started kissing and licking it while rubbing my cock which honestly was not unpleasant. Then it got a bit weird. She was moaning and playing with herself while eating my ass then she moaned "Feed me baby. I want your shit. I want it all." I tried to poop but it was really weird and uncomfortable. Right as I started to feel it slipping out I heard her moan "Fuck yes!" then she sucked the small piece of shit right out of my asshole and started eating it. I felt so gross and uncomfortable that I honestly almost started crying. I watched the mother of my children and the woman I love suck a nugget of shit out of my ass and eat it. It was one of the most disgusting experiences of my life and I need to talk to her because she texted me today that she wants to eat more of my "special brownies" and I haven't responded. I'm going to have to sit her down and tell her I don't think I can ever do that again.

      Bottoms

        AHAHAHAHHA GUYS! BOTTOMS! THE POST SAID BOTTOMS!
        
        I am begging all 196 users to shut the fuck up about bottoms. It’s not like bottoming for gamers you grassless horndogs it’s just a position on a team. Not everything has to be about fucking. You aren’t “bottoming for oncoming traffic” when you stop at an intersection. Concepts can exist separate to sex and we don’t have to keep making the same fucking jokes over and over and over again please just be funny this constant “OOH HEEHEE GUYS GUESS WHAT? BOTTOMS 🥺!” is THE lamest most unfunny shit on this sub

        my child saw the word “bussy” on a video

          Bussy copypasta
          my child saw the word “bussy” on a video
          
          last night he shoved his butt in the air and said “look at my bussy” and I asked where he heard that word and he said a YouTube video with Spider-Man pushing his bum around and saying it was his bussy.
          
          I could not find the video but my child is NINE why is this world so cold 🥲 I mean I laughed out of shock tho. I’m watching his videos now and they’re not like that help me.

          Is this worth breaking up with my boyfriend over?

            Clash Royale during sex
            Is this worth breaking up with my boyfriend over?
            
            I (22f) and my boyfriend (23m) were having sex and he keeps making Clash Royale references during sex.
            
            For context we've been in a relationship for about four months and he's always been a huge fan of the game Clash Royale. I never really had a problem with it until it started getting in the way of our intimate times. Before we have sex he always says "time to play Clash Royale" as if it's supposed to turn me on or something. During sex he always does impressions of the king emote (I suggest searching it up if you don't know what it sounds like) and says things like "my giant is going to pound you". I've asked him to stop multiple times but he still continues as if this is one big joke.
            
            I'm consideridng breaking up with him because I feel like he can't take me seriously anymore especially during our intimate times. It seems ridiculous but all he ever does is make Clash Royale references if I try talking to him.
            
            Should I break up with him?

            Guy on Reddit play Cbat during sex

              TIFU / My (20F) girlfriend of two years told me the music that I (25M) play during sex is weird and a major turn off
              
              A little back story; when I first started having sex I researched into ways to be better as I was a little stiff and pretty much had no idea what I was doing. I read online that you can play music and match the rhythm in order to put on a better performance.
              
              I searched love making songs and started slowly creating a playlist in which I was comfortable matching the rhythm.
              
              There are a few songs to my playlist. However there is one song in particular, which actually happens to be my favourite, that my girlfriend hates and says turns her off in a major way.
              
              I don’t understand why it has taken her two years to tell me she hates that song, it’s a good love making song with good rhythm. I feel the way I fucked up is I could have possibly asked her previously if she likes the playlist or any songs she’d like to add/change. But to leave it for two years thinking our sex life is great but in her eyes has just been ruined by my music has left the whole situation feeling awkward and I’m a bit annoyed.
              
              I pretty much played this tune every single time so the amount of times she must have not been enjoying it, when I thought the complete opposite is annoying but also embarrassing in ways.
              
              Not to mention my previous partners, however they never complained about the song so maybe it’s just her?
              
              It’s fucked up the relationship tbh because sex feels awkward now. The other day we were having sex with no music but I was still thrusting to the tune playing in my head. She recognised this and asked me to stop.
              
              I thought this song was perfect and I always thrust along with the tune and feel it gives me the perfect rhythm for doing the deed to. I usually bust to this song and find it devastating she hates the song.
              
              the song itself
              
              TL;DR She hates my love making tunes and didn’t tell me for over two years making sex now awkward.

              The original post on Reddit