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Porco Dio pedofilo cagato dalla madonna deflorata con un trapano

    Porco Dio pedofilo cagato dalla madonna deflorata con un trapano da tutti gli angeli in colonna (Porco Dio porca Madonna), che la sbattono contro la croce dov'è inchiodato il porco di cristo dio cacca che sputa teste di bambinello mentre dio girarrosto e stuprapolli azzanna il culo di Gesù polpo infiocinato all'intestino da Padre Pio che annega nella diarrea sanguinolenta di San Giuseppe ricchione mentre Madre Teresa si scopa nel culo venti mazzi di cazzi di lebbrosi e si beve la sborra e condita coi succhi anali di Padre Pio vomitandola addosso a Don Matteo, che è solito infilzare San Sebastiano con la forcella della bici sodomizzandolo coi sandali di Cristo appena estratti dalla fica della Maddalena che spruzza il suo mestruo sui fedeli che, inneggiando bestemmie contro gli apostoli che si masturbano di fronte alla foto di San Crispino e, solfeggiando rutti, ficcano dita in culo a San Pietro per farlo eiaculare tramite stimolazione interna della prostata mostrandogli allo stesso tempo la fica slabbrata della troia di Santa Rita stuprata da quel coglione del papa che intanto inneggia a dio impestato fruttolo rancido defecando cotolette di maiale mangiate il venerdì santo insieme a San Pietro che incide a Mosè un pentacolo sulla cappella mentre Ratzinger si spalma su un palo col Ciao Piaggio perché lo Spirito Santo gli infila la lingua in culo fino al pancreas perché giocando a playstation ha bestemmiato troppo poco la madonna la cui passera puzza di broccolo bollito e che guarda su YouTube i filmati di San Tommaso che si brucia i peli pubici e infila lo scroto in una friggitrice accesa da San Benedetto da Norcia che balla la lap dance con un salame infilato su per il culo.

    Most ‘sex education’ past the basics relies on linux user logic

      Started from a 10th Dentist post on Reddit, it has become a meme for its jab at Linux user and its absurdities.

      Most 'sex education' past the basics relies on linux user logic (it doesn't work in practice)

So I was at a furry convention a couple months ago and I was at a panel where a guy was explaining how he fit insanely huge dildos up his ass. To be fair, the guy was a bit drunk explaining it but the panel just didn't convince me. He tried to convince the audience how asshole stretching is a myth, how the inside of the anus will over time reshape itself to accommodate extremely large dragon dildos, how you absolutely need to use certain kinds of lubricants or the dildo will be entirely ruined by depolymerization, how you need to be constantly paying attention to what you're doing or you fuck things up (like how his surgeon once shaped the inside of his ass back to normal, which fucked up years of training his anus to accommodate the dildos) etc etc etc...

It really struck me how much of it seemed exactly like the kinds of rationalizations a linux user might come up with. You need to constantly be doing everything perfectly and any fuck up is because you weren't informed enough, therefore it's entirely your fault. There's also the exact same extremely opinionated takes on every topic - literally when someone tries to convince me to use something like GNOME or Wayland on Linux, I think back to how hard that panelist was trying to push buying dildos from Etsy businesses instead of Bad Dragon. I think in any community that encourages black and white thinking, whatever information is provided will inevitably only help those who obsess over minutae while providing a bad experience for anyone else... which in my controversial opinion describes kink spaces pretty accurately.

      I fucked a DVD.

        isn't the hole of a dvd pretty small?
        Source
        Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank dvd. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the dvd, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken dvd over and realized that it was not a blank dvd, but a copy of the movie UP.

Well guys, guess I fucked up.

        K-KITTEN??? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME??? I THOUGHT WE WERE 4LIFERS!!!

          K-KITTEN??? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?? I THOUGHT WE WERE 4LIFERS!! 🤬🤬 WE WATCHED SKIBIDI TOILET TOGETHER, SANG THE SONG DRANK GRIMACE SHAKES TOGETHER, ETC!! 🔪🔪 THIS IS NOT FUNNY 👿👿👿 *alpha scratches you and you die* W-WAIT, NO KITTEN!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO! WAKE UP!! PLEASE!! NO!!!!! MY OHIO LEVEL THREE GYAT ONE TWO BUCKLE MY SHOE LIGHTSKIN STARE KITTEN!! NOOOOOOOO!I'M SO SORRY!!!! WAKE UP, PLEASE!! ⛓⛓⛓⛓⛓⛓☠☠☠☠☠🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤👿👿👿👿👿🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 I-i must go..... I hurt my kitten, the one I swore to protect no matter the cost. i'm so sorry kitten. daddy loves you. 🖤 
          K-KITTEN... WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT NOT TEXTING OTHER ALPHAS? I TOLD YOU TO BE ONLY TEXTING ME??🤬🤬👿👿you haven't texted me in 78 years... I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO REPLY ON MY NEW WOLF FORM GRRR MAKE SURE YOU REPLY NEXT TIME. FAST KITTEN..... 🐺🐺 *turns into mega demon red dragon alpha wolf*😈😈 this is a warning kitten.... *eyes glow red* a very bad warning... *bites your hand* Wait WAIT KITTEN!! IM SORRY!! oh noo.... She's unconscious!! *gives cpr* KITTEN!! KITTEN!! oh no... She's not waking up!!! KITTEN!! NOOO!!! 🐺🐺🐺💔💔💔💔🖤🖤🖤⛓️⛓️⛓️🔗🔗🔗⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️
          Wh-who is this?!?! ANOTHER ALPHA..?!?!? 🐺🐺🐺 KITTEN!! I THOUGHT YOU SAID I WAS YOUR ONLY ONE, YOUR MASTER, YOUR LEVEL THREE OHIO GYATT RIZZLER!!! *goes absolute alpha demon wolfy god mode* 👿👿👿👿🔪🔪🔪🔪 I cannot let him steal you from me…Prepare…TO MEET YOUR DEMISE!! 👿👿👿👿🐺🐺🐺⛓️⛓️⛓️🔪🔪🖤🖤🖤🖤🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

          I’m sick of Himeko

            Parody of the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Himeko from Honkai Star Rail due to her strength in Pure Fiction game mode.

            I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Himeko. I try to play Hook. My Himeko deals more damage. I try to play Argenti. My Himeko deals more damage. I try to play Jing Yuan. My Himeko deals more damage. I try not to play Yanqing. I want to play Hertha. Her best team has Himeko. I want to play Jade, Topaz. They both want Himeko. She grabs me by the throat. I farm for her. I syntezise for her. I give her The Day the Cosmos fell. She isn't satisfied. I pull Night on the Milky Way. "I don't need this much ATK" She tells me. "Give me more actions." She grabs Robin and forces her to sing in front of the enemies. "You just need to funnel me more. I can deal more damage with Before Dawn." I can't pull for Before Dawn, I don't have enough stellar jades. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs her drone. She says "You won't get away." There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing but pure infinite Weakness Breaks. What a cruel world.

            I am done with the Gold Coast Suns Football Club

              Started from a Reddit post in r/AFL venting about the performance of Gold Coast Suns. The public meltdown after a loss has become a copypasta.

              This is it. This is the lowest moment of my day, my week, my year, my life. This was meant to be the game where we proved we will be a finals contender, to show we can be competent outside of our home state, our biggest opportunity for an away win against the team on the bottom of the ladder after coming off a win against the reigning premiers.

AND WE FUCKING BOTTLE IT.

The conversation is the same every year, “this year the Suns will make finals”, “they have brilliant young stars that will get them over the line in the next few years”, “this year we’ll prove the doubters wrong”, “THIS YEAR WE WILL SHOW WE’RE MORE THAN JUST A BASKETCASE CLUB”, but it never happens and honestly I don’t think it ever will, we’ve done more in the fucking vfl for fuck sake, at this rate we’ll be relocated to FUCKING BANGLADESH

This is one of our best lists in years, built from seasons upon seasons of failure, priority picks, academy players and many who have come and gone without a lick of success at this club, with a head coach at helm who took the laughing stock of the competition for years to a dynasty, but nothing is different.

I can’t even say some shit like “DO IT FOR THE EMBLEM” because there’s no reason to play for the emblem, we have no history outside of being the cellar dwellers of the comp, the biggest influence we’ve had over the years is building a name for DAN GORRINGE FOR FUCK SAKE-

we have 7 games left to prove ourselves, well actually 3 because we can’t win a game south of us to save our lives, and i HOPE, i PRAY, this club comes from the clouds and finally makes it to september and makes me look like a fucking knob, but i just can’t see it happening.

it’s so over, we didn’t engage with our minds, thoughts, our hearts, or even our energy. We’re not always going to get it right, and that’s okay, but we have to get it right eventually for fuck sake, we’re passionate about the game, just like you, and we care, but holy FUCK, sometimes, on a clear Saturday arvo, i just don’t want to join the ride, thank you basil.

              Collingwood Football Club

              I am done with the Collingwood Football Club

This is it. This is the lowest moment of my day, my week, my year, my life. This was meant to be the game where we proved we will be a top 4 contender, to show we can be competent with some more players bacm, our biggest opportunity for a comfortable win against a team in the top 8 after coming off a tough loss against the never to be premiers.

AND WE FUCKING BOTTLE IT.

The conversation is the same every week, “this year the pies will still make the 4”, “they have brilliant young stars that will get them over the line in the next few years”, “this week we’ll prove the doubters wrong”, “THIS WEEK WE WILL SHOW WE’RE MORE THAN JUST A FINAL QUARTER COMBACK WOUNDERS”, but it never happens and honestly I don’t know if we are even anything this year. we’ve done more in 2021 for fuck sake, at this rate we’ll be relocated to playing games in Geelong.

This is one of our best lists in years, built from seasons upon seasons of so close, father som picks, and many who have come and gone without a lick of success at this club, with a head coach at helm who took the laughing stock of the competition for years to a dynasty, but nothing is different.

I can’t even say some shit like “DO IT FOR THE EMBLEM” because thats carltons thing, the biggest influence we’ve had over the years is building a name for BRADEN MAYNARD FOR FUCK SAKE-

we have 7 games left to prove ourselves, well actually 3 because we can’t win More then one quarter a game to save our lives, and i HOPE, i PRAY, this club comes from the clouds and finally makes it to september and makes me look like a fucking knob, but i just can’t see it happening.

it’s so over, we didn’t engage with our minds, thoughts, our hearts, or even our energy. We’re not always going to get it right, and that’s okay, but we have to get it right eventually for fuck sake, we’re passionate about the game, just like you, and we care, but holy FUCK, sometimes, on a clear Saturday arvo, i just don’t want to join the ride, thank you basil.