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M2 Browning in space

    AKA the Ma Deuce Mars copypasta, it came from 4chan and circlejerks the greatness of the M2 Browning machine gun. The pasta fantasizes it as the superior weapon by showing that its still used in space warfare.

    >2066

>Stationed on Mars to quell a rebellion

>Become side door gunner for atmospheric dropship.

>No miniguns or gatling cannons, just some metal brick with a pipe on one end.

>Get sent in to extract some wounded.

>Reach the evac zone and come under attack.

>Hoard of rebels charging in with their new plasma guns and compact rocket launchers.

>Let loose a stream of bullets.

>The sounds of the rebel's screams are nearly drowned out by the heavy "Kachunk chunk chunk chunk" of the machinegun.

>The wounded are loaded up and returned to base.

>Inspect MG afterwards.

>Thing was made in 1942.

>Tunisia, Italy, and Germany are scratched onto the gun.

>Scratch "Mars" on with a knife.
    Ma Deuce Mars
    >2066

>Stationed on Mars to quell a rebellion

>Become side door gunner for atmospheric dropship

.>No miniguns or gatling cannons, just some metal brick with a pipe on one end.

>Get sent in to extract some wounded.

>Reach the evac zone and come under attack.

>Hoard of rebels charging in with their new plasma guns and compact rocket launchers.

>Let loose a stream of bullets.

>The sounds of the rebel's screams are nearly drowned out by the heavy "Kachunk chunk chunk chunk" of the machinegun.

>The wounded are loaded up and returned to base.

>Inspect MG afterwards.

>Thing was made in 1942.

>Tunisia, Italy, and Germany are scratched onto the gun.

>Scratch "Olympus Mons" on with a knife.

    B-52

    source
    2243

flying bombing runs over Martian rebels in ancient B-52

plasma turbines screaming

notice something just below window

whoscratchedmyplane.gif

lean in for better look

”nam 1968, iraq 1991, russia 2023, moon 2097, ur(moms)anus 2162”

take out survival knife

“mars 2243”

    This joke was actually so inappropriate. I CANNOT believe you’d make such a low-bar humor joke about PONIES.

      This joke was actually so inappropriate. I CANNOT believe you'd make such a low-bar humor joke about PONIES. American Psycho is a HORROR THRILLER FILM ABOUT KILLING AND DESECRATING HOOKERS. This was NOT funny, but DISGUSTING. Are you serious?? I can't even begin to consider if this was a genuine attempt at humor, or are you just bashing my personal FAVORITE SHOW. Princess Celestia would be SO. DISSAPOINTED.

      I am jealous of my girlfriend’s ex because he is better at X than me

        I am jealous of my girlfriend’s ex because he is better at Leetcode than me

        The original came from a shitpost (?) on r/leetcode which became a meme and spread everywhere.

        I am jealous of my girlfriend's ex because he is better at Leetcode than me

When I was working on the daily challenge the other day, my girlfriend saw my screen and asked me if I was Leetcoding. I was surprised because she is an archeology major and doesn't know anything about programming. She explained that her ex-boyfriend was into competitive programming and talked about it all the time. Apparently he is a Guardian on Leetcode and he even used to prepare contest problems for extra money. I feel extremely insecure now because I struggle with mediums most of the time and my rating is at 1500. My gf keeps assuring me that my low rating doesn't bother her, but everytime I am stuck in a problem I keep thinking how her ex would solve it in minutes. I just can't get the image of him easily solving LC Hards out of my head. Every time he submits a solution and gets that green AC on his screen he must smile and think how much of a loser his girlfriend's new boyfriend is. I am afraid that he raised the bar so much that I will never live up to his standard. My girlfriend will always compare him to me, and she will never be satisfied with my contest performance. Do you have any tips on how I can get better than this guy? Or do you think it's futile and I will always live under this guy's shadow?

        I am jealous of my girlfriend’s ex because he is better at Rocket League than me

        I am jealous of my girlfriend's ex because he is better at Rocket League than me

When I was playing some 2s the other day, my girlfriend saw my screen and asked me if I was playing Rocket League. I was surprised because she is an archaeology major and doesn't know anything about gaming. She explained that her ex-boyfriend was into "car soccer" and played it all the time.

Apparently, he is an SSL (Supersonic Legend) and used to do paid boosting and freestyle clips for extra money. I feel extremely insecure now because I struggle to stay in Diamond 2 most of the time and my MMR is hovering around 1000. My gf keeps assuring me that my lack of mechanics doesn't bother her, but every time I whiff an open net, I keep thinking about how her ex would have hit a triple-reset musty double tap instead.

I just can't get the image of him effortlessly air-dribbling out of my head. Every time he hits a ceiling shot and sees "Goal Scored" on his screen, he must smile and think about how much of a loser his girlfriend's new boyfriend is.

I am afraid that he raised the bar so much that I will never live up to his standard. My girlfriend will always compare his speed-flips to my awkward front-flips, and she will never be satisfied with my tournament performance.

Do you have any tips on how I can get better than this guy? Should I spend 10 hours a day in free play, or do you think it's futile and I will always live under this guy's shadow?

        I am jealous of my girlfriend’s ex because he is better at Hearthstone than me

        When I was playing some casual matches the other day, my girlfriend saw my screen and asked me if I was playing Hearthstone. I was surprised because she is an archaeology major and doesn't know anything about gaming. She explained that her ex-boyfriend was into "that card game with fish people" and played it all the time.

Apparently, he is a Top 100 Legend player and used to do paid coaching and video guides for extra money. I feel extremely insecure now because I struggle to reach Silver most of the time and my MMR is hovering around Bronze. My gf keeps assuring me that my lack of a Legend card back doesn't bother her, but every time I miss lethal, I keep thinking about how her ex would have won three turns earlier instead.

I just can't get the image of him effortlessly spotting lethal out of my head. Every time he knocks his opponent’s HP down to zero and sees "Victory!" on his screen, he must smile and think about how much of a loser his girlfriend's new boyfriend is.

I am afraid that he raised the bar so much that I will never live up to his standard. My girlfriend will always compare his quick lethals to my awkward slow concedes, and she will never be satisfied with my ladder performance.

Do you have any tips on how I can get better than this guy? Should I spend 10 hours a day in ranked, or do you think it's futile and I will always live under this guy's shadow?

        (Chess) I am jealous of my girlfriend’s ex because he is better at puzzles than me

        I am jealous of my girlfriend's ex because he is better at puzzles than me

When I was working on the daily puzzle the other day, my girlfriend saw my screen and asked me if I was practicing on Chess.com. I was surprised because she is an archeology major and doesn't know much about chess. She explained that her ex-boyfriend was into competitive chess and talked about it all the time. Apparently, he is a CM on Chess.com and he even used to commentate games for extra money. I feel extremely insecure now because I struggle with puzzles most of the time and my rating is at 1500. My girlfriend keeps assuring me that my low rating doesn't bother her, but every time I am stuck in a puzzle I keep thinking how her ex would solve it in seconds. I just can't get the image of him easily solving chess puzzles out of my head. Every time he solves a puzzle and gets that green checkmark on his screen he must smile and think how much of a loser his girlfriend's new boyfriend is. I am afraid that he raised the bar so much that I will never live up to his standard. My girlfriend will always compare him to me, and she will never be satisfied with my puzzle-solving skills. Do you have any tips on how I can get better than this guy? Or do you think it's futile and I will always live under this guy's shadow?

        Are you-.. A-.. Ar-.. areyoushure? Are you sure? SEA SALT!

          AKA the ‘Areyoushure’ copypasta. Its an Invincible brainrot copypasta by u/Embarrassed-Bear-945 who spams it in the circlejerk Invincible subreddit (r/okbuddyviltrum).

          Are-.. Are y-.. S-.. Are you-.. A-.. Ar-.. areyoushure? Are you sure? SEA SALT! WHERE'S OMNIMAN? How is that possible? I do not wanna hurt you, sir. I NEED YOU SEA SALT!!! Pretty sure. I am omning it, I am omning it so good! WHERE IS HE??? I am so lonely. Threw a trash bag. Stand ready for my arrival, worm. WHAT'S 17 MORE YEARS? Into space. Oh, yes, that's what I'm talking about! You need to goon, Mark! At work. Goon! WHAT YOU DID WAS NOT NICE! IT'S NOT NICE TO DO THAT! Oh, yes! For Viltruuuuum!!! That's not very nice. That's the neat part, you don't. My name is Shapesmith. PATHETIC! I WOULDN'T EVEN KEEP YOU AS A SLAVE IN MY EMPIRE! Oh, someone misses their mommy, waaah! You're a weird dude, dude! Bacon egg and cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese! WHY THE FUCK DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME? Guess who's finally getting his powers? I know where your faamily liiives! Dad! Dad, look! I'm gonna be... DUCT TAPE MAN! Big ass beatdown coming up! You are a pale imitation of Invincible! I don't give a shit about Viltrum! Swearing doesn't make you cool. Wait... You don't have, like, supersperm or something, do you? I miss William. Are you guys gonna mate now? Shut it! I feel dirty.. Oh I'm ceciling it! Make them fear Invincible! BRAX MOY! LATI MOY! XOPA MOY! DIE. I've given this world enough. I'm gonna not be alive! Oh, poor Angstrom! You're not him. It's all your fault! Son, I made a mistake, and I thought about you every single.. I'M A SNAKE! You know, on my planet sock on the door mean’s somebody’s fucking. BRAH BRAH! Let me break it down for you, Mark. YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! Son, I made a steak. A STEAK? Yes... Your father will be executed. That's not very nice. This battle is beneath me! This is good news! We can finally be bees! This isn't your world. But we can be bees! This is good news! You can be a bee! You'll live like a bee! A pet. A PET?? A pet. Mark, this is good news! You'll live for 30 years! THIS IS INSANE! I think... I miss my wife. MY ENTIRE GOD DAMN SKELETON, DICKHEAD! We won, my dick is out and I don't care! Rex Sploded... Son, we need to talk. WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THIS?! YOU'RE FIGHTING SO YOU CAN SEE EVERYBEE AROUND YOU DIE! THINK, MARK! YOULL OUTLAST EVERY FRAGILE INSIGNIFICANT BEEING ON THIS PLANET! YOU'LL LIVE TO SEE THIS PLANET CRUMBLE TO DUST AND BUZZ AWAY! EVERYBEE AND EVERYTHING YOU KNOW WILL BEE GONE. WHAT WILL YOU HAVE AFTER 30 YEARS?! Damn near certain. FINALLY, SOME ACTION! I miss Viltrum... Are you certain? KTX KTX KTX SEOUL I NEED YOU SEOUL! THIS IS GOOD NEWS MARK! YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! YOU NEED TO GOON, MARK! GOON! OHH, YES! FOR SEOUL! I can help! How much does this job pay? Leave no one alive. How do you feel about war? This is serious, Shapesmith. This is fruit punch. Would you like some?
ARE YOU SURE?

           Are-.. Are y-.. S-.. Are you-.. A-.. Ar-.. areyoushure? Are you sure? SEA SALT! WHERE'S OMNIMAN? How is that possible? I do not wanna hurt you, sir. I NEED YOU SEA SALT!!! Pretty sure. I am omning it, I am omning it so good! WHERE IS HE??? I am so lonely. Threw a trash bag. Stand ready for my arrival, worm. WHAT'S 17 MORE YEARS? Into space. Oh, yes, that's what I'm talking about! You need to goon, Mark! At work. Goon! WHAT YOU DID WAS NOT NICE! IT'S NOT NICE TO DO THAT! Oh, yes! For Viltruuuuum!!! That's not very nice. That's the neat part, you don't. My name is Shapesmith. PATHETIC! I WOULDN'T EVEN KEEP YOU AS A SLAVE IN MY EMPIRE! Oh, someone misses their mommy, waaah! You're a weird dude, dude! Bacon egg and cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese! WHY THE FUCK DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME? Guess who's finally getting his powers? I know where your faamily liiives! Dad! Dad, look! I'm gonna be... DUCT TAPE MAN! Big ass beatdown coming up! You are a pale imitation of Invincible! I don't give a shit about Viltrum! Swearing doesn't make you cool. Wait... You don't have, like, supersperm or something, do you? I miss William. Are you guys gonna mate now? Shut it! I feel dirty.. Oh I'm ceciling it! Make them fear Invincible! BRAX MOY! LATI MOY! XOPA MOY! DIE. I've given this world enough. I'm gonna not be alive! Oh, poor Angstrom! You're not him. It's all your fault! Mama Boss! Son, I made a mistake, and I thought about you every single.. I'M A SNAKE! You know, on my planet sock on the door mean’s somebody’s fucking. BRAH BRAH! Let me break it down for you, Mark. YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! Son, I made a steak. A STEAK? Yes... Your father will be executed. That's not very nice. This battle is beneath me! This is good news! We can finally be bees! This isn't your world. But we can be bees! This is good news! You can be a bee! You'll live like a bee! A pet. A PET?? A pet. Mark, this is good news! You'll live for 30 years! THIS IS INSANE! I think... I miss my wife. Oh, man, that's your favorite finger! That's my favorite finger! It's his favorite finger, Sea Salt! Can we do something about that? MY ENTIRE GOD DAMN SKELETON, DICKHEAD! We won, my dick is out and I don't care! Rex Sploded... Son, we need to talk. WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THIS?! YOU'RE FIGHTING SO YOU CAN SEE EVERYBEE AROUND YOU DIE! THINK, MARK! YOULL OUTLAST EVERY FRAGILE INSIGNIFICANT BEEING ON THIS PLANET! YOU'LL LIVE TO SEE THIS PLANET CRUMBLE TO DUST AND BUZZ AWAY! EVERYBEE AND EVERYTHING YOU KNOW WILL BEE GONE. WHAT WILL YOU HAVE AFTER 30 YEARS?! Damn near certain. FINALLY, SOME ACTION! I miss Viltrum... Are you certain? KTX KTX KTX SEOUL I NEED YOU SEOUL! THIS IS GOOD NEWS MARK! YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! YOU NEED TO GOON, MARK! GOON! OHH, YES! FOR SEOUL! I can help! How much does this job pay? Leave no one alive. How do you feel about war? This is serious, Shapesmith. This is fruit punch. Would you like some? ARE YOU WINNING, SON? ALL IS OURS! What just happened? Where's the dinosaur? Do either of you have some clothes I could borrow? You, uh... Okay, buddy? See? Before, you would have punched my head off for doing this. I still might. On your knees, animal. Make my death painful so others may learn and grow stronger from it. What do you want, Machine Head? World peace. A pony. My name in lights. The list goes on. Mr Liu sends his regards. I think we can agree that Steaks were made and we've all learned from them. STEAKS?? I fought Conquest. I'm him, Art. Please. Violence like that is merely foreplay for my kind. Dude. Gross. Hurm. Crown fragile! Uh.. I'm not bowing to Satan. Does he have two buttholes? Yes, he's full grown. Do you suppose I could have control of my vessel returned to me? Let the insect learn his lesson. Get your hands off my son! Gonna tell me all your deepest feelings again? That was in confidence. Now who is the toast? I think... I miss my steak. Stand ready for my worm's arrival. Protein Tubes. With that white sauce. Get up. We're going training. What time is it even? Training time. I just told you. Andressa wasn’t a steak. It made me feel... I don't know, fizzy inside? You grew a beard! So did you. WHERE IS THE BETRAYER?! Here. Yes! Teamwork makes the dreamwork! Zoe? NooOooO! Viltrumites! Yeah, get the fuck outta here! Ever since we've left Earth, he's been in a major funk. Oh, “funk” is a.. it's a Unopan word, it means kinda like bummed out. Yeah. It means the same on Earth. My dad calls me The Human Garbage Disposal. Your moo cows have faces. No way he lives up to the hype. Boom! Triple triple! Yes! My final meal will be my own blood as I choke on it, breathing my last breath after a Legendary battle with a superior opponent. That will be a satisfying meal indeed. Hey, Thaedus is coming too? He's like a million years old… Nevermind. VILTRUM IS NOT A TOMB! It's not my gun you should be worried about. Hey, dickhead ! A black hole called. It wants its suck back! You're not one of us. I KILLED CONQUEST, I'LL KILL YOU TOO! NooOooO 2. Emperor Argall! You are avenged! You are all next. I offered you forgiveness, I offered you an honorable death! I was too quick with Thaedus, I won't make the same mistake with you. You could have been a Viltrumite, but you chose to be... How do we beat him? Mark… You need to stop worrying and SLEEP. Oh, so you WERE listening! What? That's not exactly dropping in quietly. This is the smallest repayment for what you did to us. I had an abortion. What? Earth, or this specific spot? Take your pick. Yes, we are here. Besides, I'll sex it out of you later.
ARE YOU SURE?

          Hey dude. Letting you know someone in the queer platonic group chat (the one you left after Kai’s alter made some acephobic comments

            source
            Hey dude. Letting you know someone in the queer platonic group chat (the one you left after Kai's alter made some acephobic comments, which he apologized for later btw :/) said they found receipts on your twitter of you liking a James Charles tweet which is really,., yikes.

Also Rainbow said you were tweeting on ur Steven universe roleplay account that were gonna rewatch atla which is like a really transphobic and racist and sexist show and you know how Ash feels about even if they won't say anything about it be of their anxiety..., idk dude I just wanted to let you know.

I know Ash can be biphobic sometimes but they also live in an apartment and their parents are divorced so they have ptsd from it :// I think Ash might write a callout but me and Rainbow are trying to calm them down just be aware and maybe stop being toxic