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I’m a climate change denial denialist

    I'm a climate change denial denialist. I deny the existence of climate change deniers. Think about it. The evidence is overwhelming. Do you really think people still don't believe in climate change? It's a lie. Everyone knows by now that the earth's climate is changing. Climate change deniers are a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese.

    I CURED HOMOSEXUALITY!

      I cured my son of the Big Gay. The other day, he came home for Christmas with his new partner. I was excited to meet her (and maybe MEAT her after my son fell asleep hehe), but imagine my horror when it turned out to be another man.

I immediately started to protest, but my son said "Dad, this is who I am. Zander and I are in love."

Without missing a beat, I turned around and said, "You forgot to say no homo."

But my boy simply scoffed at me and said, "Actually, dad, I AM a homosexual. That's right, your son is in love with another man." Then my son grabbed Zander's hand and looked at me defiantly.

For a second, I was utterly devastated. But then I thought to myself What would Trump do? So I stared straight at my son, penetrating his soul with my eyes (no homo), and said, "But that's gay."

As soon as I uttered those fateful words, my son began to convulse. He dropped to floor in some sort of manic state, spit pouring from his mouth as his eyes rolled back into his head. Zander tried to help him, but I pushed that dainty little queer away with my heteronormative strength.

After a full minute, my son opened his eyes and said, "Dad, you cured me of my homosexuality." Then, with manly tears of joy in his eyes, he pointed to Zander and exclaimed, "Let's get that homo!"

After we wiped Zander's blood off our hands and threw the little fairy into the cold, my son and I sat down with a beer and watched some football.

As we watched, my son turned to me and said, "Dad, I love you. No homo."

"No homo indeed, son," I replied. "No homo indeed."

      Is that…. A jojo reference?😳

        Every JoJo copypasta
        Is that... 😳

Oh no, it can't be, forget it ahah 😆

But maybe... 🤔

Is it possible that you are referring to the very popular manga and anime titled "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure"? 🇯🇵

I know it's a bit of a strech, but I can't stop asking myself if this is the case. 😅

Sorry to bother you, have a nice day 😊

        Americans are immune to bullet wounds.

          In America, we’ve all been shot so many times, that most of us have built up an immunity to bullet wounds. It’s now hereditary, actually, because only people who can survive being shot live long enough to reproduce. Natural selection and all that. Some Americans have built up an immunity so high that they can easily walk way from a direct hit from a cannon ball. These individuals are considered “real, red blooded, Americans” and receive a certificate of authentication.

This is also where the phrase “come and take it” comes from. A group of Americans endured a volley of cannon fire and they managed to catch 95% of the balls shot. They then hoisted the cannon balls into the air and taunted the invading army by encouraging them to come retrieve their ammunition and try again.