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Kronii is my queen. Kronii is love. Kronii is life. Kronii is time.

    By u/Fast_Ad6296, its a love letter copypasta for Ouro Kronii from Hololive EN.

    Kronii is my queen. Kronii is love. Kronii is life. Kronii is time. I love Kronii. I love Kronii so much. I don't think you understand how much I love Kronii. I love Kronii so much. SO. MUCH. I would do absolutely anything for Kronii. That's how much I love Kronii. I would do absolutely ANYTHING for her. ANYTHING. If she ever told me to draw her, I would paint a beautiful picture with her in the center of everything in the universe, especially time itself since that's what she stands for. If she ever told me to worship her, I would treat her like absolute royalty & bow down the ground she walks on. If she ever told me to shut up, I would keep my mouth as silent as the growing grass. That's what I'd do. Anything for Kronii. Anything. However, one thing I would NEVER do is lewd her; she feels GREAT disgust towards anyone who dares lust to her like a filthy hound. I only ever want to please her; That's enough to please me. I don't ever have to feel that way towards Kronii though, because happiness is all that I feel when I see her or when I hear her speak or sing, & that's all I ever need. All I ever feel when she's here. All I ever feel is happiness. It's all I ever need. Kronii. Kronii is my biggest source of happiness. Kronii is the reason to keep on living. If I was ever clinically depressed & on the brink of suicide, noose hung up, standing on the chair & everything, if my brain thought about Kronii for even a second, I would realize that if what I'm doing is wrong. Everything about what I'm doing at this point in time is wrong, because if I were to ever die at the hands of myself or someone else, Kronii would lose a fan, & that would make her feel sad. I never want Kronii to feel sad, & even if I were already dead, I would be missing out on everything Kronii, & that is something I would never want. So, do you know what I'd do? I'd step away from the chair, take down the noose, & most importantly, I would keep going. Why? Because of Kronii. Kronii is the reason to keep living. If you ever feel like you & all the hope you have ever felt is lost & you think that the only solution is to take yourself out of this world, listen. Keep going. For Kronii. Kronii is love. Kronii is life. Kronii is time. Kronii is my queen.

    You’re clip farming. What happened to being ass?

      Ludwig had a crashout after a viewer accused him of clip farming for being bad at the game ‘A Difficult Game About Climbing’.

      You're clip farming. What happened to being ass? What happened to genuinely sucking at shit in front of people vulnerably? Fuck this goddamn world, man. If you're a genuine idiot, you're rage baiting. If you genuinely suck at something, you're clip farming. I'm just actually that guy who's fucking bad. That's authentic, genuine ass. I don't have to pretend to be bad. I am bad. I don't have to pretend to be dumb. I am dumb. I went to Arizona State University. I graduated high school with a 2.9 and I was in an honors choir class that gave me a 5.0 buff. I have an English degree, the most useless thing you can have. And I still cheated. I didn't want to read Fahrenheit 451. It's 100 pages. I'm not farming. I'm just ass.

      🐍 Vyper 🍑 is the slickest 💦 criminal 🌆 snake 📜 East 🚀 of the Mississippi 🌊

        Yo, 🐍 Vyper 🍑 is the slickest 💦 criminal 🌆 snake 📜 East 🚀 of the Mississippi 🌊 and baby, she’s got the 🍑 finest ASS 💋 in Manhattan 💃! She’s putting the ASS 💦 in assassIN, 🔫 with that thick 🔥 tail of hers 😍💗. I’m talking body 😻-ody 🔥, the kind of stuff that gets you rock HARD 💪🍆 just thinking about that tail 🐍💦 in your face 👅👀 and on your lap 💦💖! No need to throw 🥵 her bolas at me 🍑, just one look 😍👀 and I'm already busting out 🚪 of my pants 😳💣. Damn, Vyper, 😘 just come SLITHER over and 🐍 make me the happiest 🥵 snake lover you’ve ever seen! 🍆🔥💦💋

        Girl invited me over to “fix her WiFi.” I agreed, obviously. I’m a red team engineer with custom firmware on my router and a Faraday cage around my smart toaster.

          It was a satirical post by u/Party-Expression4849 on about a tech nerd feeling sorry for the amount of security vulnerabilities the girl he’s helping has.

          Girl invited me over to “fix her WiFi.” I agreed, obviously. I’m a red team engineer with custom firmware on my router and a Faraday cage around my smart toaster.

I showed up 10 minutes early, hoodie on, laptop in hand, booted into a hardened gentoo distro I compiled myself. She opened the door holding a MacBook Air. Chrome had 43 tabs open. I almost left right then.

I asked for her network topology diagram. She laughed. “It’s just the router from the ISP.”
Alright, I thought. Let her have it.

I popped open her router admin panel. Default password: admin123. The SSID was "PrettyFlyForAWiFi". I ran a nmapscan. 12 exposed ports, 3 outdated IoT devices, and a printer running telnet. No firewall. No VLANs. Just raw digital nudity.

I asked if she ever noticed weird lag. She said “yeah sometimes Netflix buffers.” I said that was probably because her TV was being used in a botnet out of Kazakhstan. She blinked twice. "Oh no, is that bad?"

I offered to segment the network and install pfSense. She said she “just wanted Spotify to stop cutting out.”

I airgapped her Sonos out of pity.

After 20 minutes of work, I asked for her phone to remove TikTok and clean the app permissions. She said “but I need it for filters.”
I looked into the distance. Deep sigh. I looked out the window and whispered, "The panopticon isn’t metaphorical."
She asked if I was always this intense.
I said no, only when the NSA is listening. Which is always.

She offered coffee. I declined, caffeine raises your attack surface.

When I left, she said, “Thanks, you’re like, really good with computers.”

I walked away slow. Her router was still on UPnP. So was my heart.
You can't patch people. Believe me, I tried.

// date_night_final_final_forsure.txt.gpg
#exit

          DeAndre Ayton

            From a Redditor ‘Nykeeo’ who often shitposts about DeAndre Ayton from LA Lakers.

            Ah thanks OP I was waiting to see another post about Ayton because the other night I was watching the Lakers with my girlfriend and I tell her as a joke that we should make a little challenge.
Every time Ayton gets a rebound she has to say something she finds attractive about him.
I thought it would be funny and maybe feed my macho ego a little.

Brother that ego evaporated fast 🤣 And that also happened in the 1st half vs the spurs!

At first she goes yeah he is tall. Normal. Whatever. Then a minute later she goes wow his shoulders though.
Then she adds his hands look strong in a way that made me put my chips down because suddenly they tasted like insecurity.

By the third quarter she is leaning forward talking about his presence and how he moves and I start feeling weirdly warm. Not jealous warm. More like confused warm. Like I suddenly became very aware of how Ayton also has nice shoulders and maybe I should hit the gym or maybe I should examine my entire identity.

At one point she says if I saw him in real life I would probably stare and I swear I caught myself staring too and thinking yeah honestly same.

The game ended and she asked if I was ok and I said yeah yeah of course I am fine I am a strong confident heterosexual man while Googling Ayton highlights in another tab like a man trying to understand his own spirit animal.

And the twist is that the next morning she texts me saying she dreamed that I got dunked by Ayton and he told me nice form and I woke up feeling proud and strangely disappointed that it was not real... because man.. I really , secretly want to get bodied by him.

            hello slimes i am a 23 year old female who desperately wanting a young slime baby to slatt with

              hello slimes i am a 23 year old female who desperately wanting a young slime baby to slatt with but the only problem is no real thugger wants to get me pregnant as i am not very “traditionally attractive” then i woke up like this with a fantastic idea. who’s the perfect slime to impregnate my young uterus? i realized carti himself would be perfect!! he’s so cute and handsome and has an amazing baby voice which means our child will have a sexy baby voice as well! so my plan is to get help from y’all to get cartis attention so he can donate me some of his semen or i could pay for it (willing to offer $20k) for me to load into my cooter and hopefully give me my own little onyx please help carti notice me bros! i desperately need this. peace and love my fellow slimes stay slatt-y +*