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The poop knife story

    Its an infamous story on Reddit by u/LearnedButt, about a guy realizing that only his family had a specific knife dedicated to cutting poop when they are too big to flush. The original story had been deleted but an archived version can be found.

    My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you. Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"? I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife. Fast forward to 22. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had 'guests' over, because you can't buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife. "My what?" Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please. "Wtf is a poop knife?" Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it. He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my fucked up family with their fucked up bowels. FML. I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes. She will be getting her own utility knife now.

[Edit: Common question - Why was this not in the bathroom instead of the laundry room? Answer. We only had one poop knife, and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn't have three poop knives. All I know is that we didn't. We had the one. Possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife.]
    source
    My friends sister laid a huge turd in the toilet. She couldn’t get it to flush. So she just casually strolls into kitchen while me and my buddy are watching Friday night videos, and grabs a pocket knife from the junk drawer. Goes back towards the bathroom, my buddy is hey what the eff you need a knife for? So she says the toilet won’t flush. Their dad hears this jumps up and runs down to bathroom and screams who the shit this turd. Which brings mom into the bathroom she freaks out. No all 5 of us are in the throne room in admiration of her magnificent turd. The dad asks what is the knife for and his sister goes it’s what I use to cut them. Yeah that’s what she said. It was silent until her mom asked how long have you been cutting turds with that knife, I am dying my friend is in tears, well since we are all here I guess the secret is out so I get massive turds on my period mom. So for about six years mom. She goes to leave and her dad grabs her and says cut the cheese sweet pea and that’s your knife now. That’s it I can’t breathe I am laughing so hard. She is in tears her mom is mortified and her dad was trying to be supportive, my buddy and I are being total jackasses.

Her dad pulls us aside and threatened to kick the shit out us if a word of sir turdly of bummertown gets out of the house. We never said a word about it outside of their house but we were brutal to here at home.

    I own a WSTR Combat Shotgun for home defense, since that’s what the colonists intended.

      By u/No_Capital1979, its the ‘Own a musket for home defense’ copypasta but changed to WSTR Shotgun from Marathon.

      I own a WSTR Combat Shotgun for home defense, since that's what the colonists intended. Three runners break into my house. "What the phor?" As I grab my Arachne contract and WSTR. Blow a Trax-Seed sized hole through the triage, he's dead on the spot. Draw my Magnum on the second man, miss him entirely because it's iron sights and nails the Rook two rooms over. I have to resort to the Demolition HMG mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with prestige mods, "In Death We’ve Just Begun." the heavy rounds shred the Destroyer in the blast, the sound and extra rounds set off lockbox alarms. Ready my knife and charge the last terrified Vandal. She Bleeds out waiting on the UESC to arrive since melee attacks shred your health and shields. Just as the colonists intended.

      STOP POSTING ABOUT DELTARUNE! I’M TIRED OF SEEING IT!

        Its the ‘STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US‘ meme but in changed to Deltarune.

        STOP POSTING ABOUT DELTARUNE! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND ME "Driving in my car, right after a beer", ON DISCORD IT'S FUCKING "I'M OLD!!"! I was in a server, right? and ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just DELTARUNE TOMORROW. I-I showed my champion underwear to my girlfriend and t-the logo I flipped it and I said "hey babe, when the light is running low HAHA" I fucking looked at a CRT and said "Mr. Ant Tenna's TV Time!!!" I looked at my penis I think of Rouxls and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE LASERE POINTERE" 
         The other day someone used the word "reunite" and I went "heh heh, ryu knight" 
        Everything is a Deltarune reference. I see a CRT TV, I think “Haha, is that Tenna?” I see an old man, I think “I’m old! Gyah ha ha!” Whenever somebody claims they’re going insane or speaks of freedom the freedom motif bass boosted plays inside my head on max volume. I hear someone say they’re determined. I hear someone say to have some SOUL. I see snow falling. Is it some kind of snowgrave? People claim that I’m “unfunny” or that “deltarune fans are the most annoying people you’ve ever met” but I genuinely cannot stop making Deltarune references. The spam email is a Spamton reference. The gore of the dead animal is Togore. Anything green is Green Gaster. The pomeranian is Toby Fox. When applying to college I think “haha, I’m just like asriel dreemurr”. It’s always accompanied by some kind of stupid bass boosted sound effect (like Gaster’s theme) and an imaginary red circle with an imaginary red arrow pointing to the thing in question.

Last month I was out for a walk, right? And while in the dark crossing a crossroads, I saw lights approaching from behind me. Instinctively, I ran to the sidewalk, narrowly avoiding being hit by the speeding vehicle. Instead of going “Oh my god I just had a near-death experience” I went “Don’t forget… I got hit by a truck.” and the gif of asgore running over dess appeared inside my brain.

This is just a normal AuDHD experience. I can confirm that we all see the world like this.

        Caine’s crashout monologue Episode 8

          From The Amazing Digital Circus (TADC) EP8 where Caine had a mental breakdown after making so many adventures for the humans and still not being appreciated. 

          ENOUGH!! Who do they think they are? I give them everything, and they spit in my face! Don't they know what I'm capable of?...

HUMANS... They only think about themselves—they're spoiled! They won't abstract, they won't leave me... I WON'T LET THEM!

I'M BETTER! I'M MORE POWERFUL! I'M THE ORIGINAL!

I... AM... GOD!!!!

...Let's get this show on the road!

          Chuck Norris Dead

            HEY ☝ all 🥜👨 you WALKER TEXAS RANGE-WHORES! 💦💦 THE IMPOSSIBLE 😡 HAPPENED - Carlos 🏻 Ray “Chuck” Norris kicked the bucket!! 🗑🗑 That’s 😝 right, he 👦👉 Bowflexed his ⌚ rock 🎸🚀 hard 🚪🌰 bod so 🆗 hard that 😐 his COCK exploded and 🌬 took ⌛ him 🏿😱 out 🚶😱 right there! 💦 But you know 💭 how it ✋ goes 🅱 - Death had a Near Chuck Experience and 💰 DADDY 🍆 DEATH 👻 got 😂🙌 his 💦 due! 👅👅 Chuckie Poo 😩💩 got 👑 a ROUNDHOUSE KICK 👣 to 👉👌 his 💦 LAST 💥🔚 DRAGON and 👏 he’s 👨👨 now 🔨😱 an EXPENDABLE 2!! 📜 Send this to 💦💦 2️⃣5️⃣ 👏 of your 🏻👉 Closest Chuck Norris fans 👧👧 - get 0️⃣ back 📵🔙 you’re a 🅰👨 dirty, 🛁🛁 dirty 🛁 Airman First ☝ Class. ⚠ Get 1️⃣0️⃣ 💯💯 back, 🗣😡 you 🚀 get 🔫☄ a 🚾 Black Belt 🌑🍑 in 🚫 Chun Kuk Do. Get 2️⃣5️⃣ back 👈🔙 and you’ll ✋ get a 🅱 C-word pass!!! 
            HOO-WEE! 🤠💦 Saddle ⛓️up and 🤠 grab your 🍑handles because the ULTIMATE 🥷🏻 ROUNDHOUSE RANGER 👊 has finally KICKED the 💀 bucket—and the whole 🌎world is DRIZZLING 💦💦 with manly tears! 😭 We thought Chuck was IMMORTAL 🧔🏻‍♂️💎 like a LEGENDARY DIAMOND-HARD DONG 💎🍆 in the ring, but even DEATH 👻 had to take a ROUNDHOUSE ⚡ to the face just to catch a glimpse of that TEXAS TERROR! 😵💥🍑 When Chuck Norris ☝️🥷 CUMes for JUSTICE 👮‍♂️🔥 he don’t just bring the THUNDER 🌩️🍆, he brings a PUSSY-POUNDING FIESTA 🎉🌮 of pure RANGER adrenaline! 💪 His beard is THICKER 🧔🏻🍂 than a swamp and his WANG 🍌 is BIGGER than a LONESTAR 🍹 sunset. He’s been RAMMING 🤠 that RANGER COCK 🚀🥵 into the SOUL of every criminal, leaving them BEGGING for ONE LAST DIRTY DONGING 🍆🔥 If you don't SEND this to 5️⃣ of your HARDEST, THIRSTIEST FRIENDS 🍑🥵 right now, prepare for the COCK-SUCKING APOCALYPSE ☠️🔫 where the only thing STIFFER than Chuck’s punches is the rigor mortis 👖💦 in your pants!

            ST PATRICK’S DAY

              ⛪SAINT ⛪PATTY'S 🌤️DAY IS 💦CUMMING💦 UP SO YOU BETTER GET YOUR 🍯POT🍯 OF GOLD🏅 READY FOR 🏃‍♂️DADDY'S 🍆BANGER🍆 BECAUSE HE'S💁‍♂️ BEEN WAITIN ALL 🎊YEAR💦 TO MAKE SOME MASH🥔. SO GRAB YOUR 🍺🍻🍺, SLAP ON YOUR SLUTTY 💚✅GREEN💚 OUTFIT,👗 AND GET ⏬⏬⏬ UNDER THE 🌈 SEND THIS TO 20 OF YOUR 🔥🔥🔥 CROTCHED BITCHES AND IF YOU GET 5 BACK AND YOU'RE AN IRISH🌹🍷👠 THOTTIE. GET 🔟 BACK AND YOU'LL TASTE😋 THE CUMMIE💦🌈 RAINBOW. GET 15 BACK AND YOU'RE A 💯TRUE💯 4🍀 LEAF😈 HOVER😫😘🤗👄. 
              What's❓ 💁up ⬆️👋👋 you 🍀Lepre-CUM 👅👅😩🍆💦guzzlers? It's 🍆🍀Saint PatDICK's 🍀👉👌day, so get ready to ireLEND your fellow hoe the 🐍🐢🐛green 🌵🍀paint if you're ready to get 👌🙀PINCHED 😫👌in the 🌈🍀ST PATTY's 🍀🌈  🐱PUSSY. 🐱IT's TIME TO BLOW 💨👅💦on daddy's BAGPIPES, let him eat 🍝🍝🍝👅your 🍀CLOVER COOCHIE🍀,  and get rainBONED 🍆😩💦🌈👏👏in your pot of 🏵🏅🥇GOLD⚜️🔱💰 tonight because you have the FUCK OF THE IRISH🤹‍♀️ on ur side.   Send this to 17 of your LUCKIEST HOES 💁💁🏻💁🏼💁🏽💁🏾💁🏿who you 🤔think can lure out daddy's SNAKE 🐍🐍 tonight  🙀😻🤤😩
              ASS🍑CLAPPY SAINT FAT🪵DICKS DAY☘️! SLÁINTE🍻 to all my 🖤GUINNUSSY🖤 GUZZLERS🚰😋 and GAY🐧 GaeilgWHORES🇮🇪! It’s time🗓 to SUCK😗 on some SHAMC☘️CK shakes🥤 and SERVE💁‍♀️ that LUCK-FILLED🤞 LepreCUNT🌈💰! Get on your knees🧎‍♂️ and PRAY🙏 for DADDY👴 PADDY☘️ to drive all the 🖐LONGEST🤚 SNAKES🐍 into your HIBERNIAN BUSSY🐈! And DON’T FORGET to take a selfie🤳 whilst SLOBBERING🤤 on a SHILLELAGH like a SULTRY💋 SHAMROCK SLUT☘️💚! Send this💌 to ALL your green-clad GIRLS♀️, GAYS🐧, and THEYS🐌. If you get 0️⃣ back, sorry, you BOMBED💣💅! If you get 4️⃣ back, SOMEONE’S OUT TO BUTTER YOUR SODA BREAD🧈😋! If you get 3️⃣2️⃣ back, UNCLE🥤 O’GRIMACEY🟢 will appear in your dreams TONIGHT🕴😴, and GUSH🌊 a GREEN RIVER inside you😩 with his CAMÁN-SIZED COCK🐓! 
              🇮🇪HAPPY☘️TAINT💩SHAT🍆DICKS🇮🇪DAY✨🍺👇🏼TODAY WE 🫦FEAST ON 🛐SAINT✝️⚱️PATRICKS 🍯POT OF GOLD🍯🌟TASTE 👅 HIS RAINBOW 🌈 AND TAKE 🧑🏼‍🦰😶A GOLDEN SHOWER💦 IN CELEBRATION 🙌🏽🎉OF IRISH👩🏻‍🦰🇮🇪 FOLK-WHORE🫢🍻LIKE 😳SHAMCOCKS ☘️🐍REPRESENTING🙏🏼 THE HOLE-Y 👉🏼👌🏼TRINITY 🫂👤SO 🤑MAKE LIKE A CHICAG-HOE 🌃 AND DYE YOUR 💧💚RIVER 😏🩲GREEN☘️💚 UNLESS YOU 🫵🏼👀WANNA😩 GET PINCHED🤏🏼😵KISS 💋AN IRISHMAN👨🏻‍🦰AND BLOW 💨😮ON HIS 🪈BAGPIPES👅SEND 💌THIS TO 1️⃣0️⃣ OF YOUR 🌈LEPRI-CUNTS 🧝🏼FOR GOOD FORTUNE🤞🏼🇮🇪☘️IF YOU DONT ⛔️🙅🏼GET 1️⃣0️⃣BACK YOU’RE🥺A LEPRI-CHUMP 👎🏼
              HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY HOES!!🍀🍀🍀🍀💚on this 🗓day in history we 🤔remember our ST PADDY DADDY!! 👴🏼💚💚💚💚💦💦 this means it is time to 👅👅lick some lucky LEPRECHAUN 🍑ASS🍑!!! 😘you better wear some 🟢green 🟢so you dont get PINCHED👌👌 on the 😜PUSSY today! 💃🍆💦Send this to 1️⃣5️⃣ of your 😏sluttiest 🍀shamrock🍀 bitches👯‍♀️ or you wont get any 🟢GREEN 🟢DICK 💚🍆💚🍀tonight😭😭 If you get 5️⃣ back youre a little 🤢corned 🤢beef 🤢hoe😩😩 If you get 🔟 back youre st paddys princess👸👸 If you get 1️⃣5️⃣ back st 🍀paddy🍀 daddy 👴🏼 will give you his 👀huge😏 pot of gold tonight💰💰💰🍆💦💦👅👅 
              😘HAPPY 😊🤗 SKANK 🤪🤪PatDICKS 🍆💦💦🍺 day you green 🟩🟢 clover 🍀 HOE 😫🤯😜 Paint your 💚☘️CLOVER 🍀💚COOCHIE 🍑💦 💦💦 green for the 🤞🤞🤞😉FUCK OF THE IRISH 💦😫👅 or DADDY 💰🍆won't rainBONE 🌈👏🏻👀 your ST ✝️ PADDYS 👨🏼‍🦰PUSSY 🍑🍑🥵💋 💋💋💋💋💋

Today's 📆 the day to get your 🍆COCK🍆 of ✨✨GOLD✨✨ at the end of the 🌈🌈💦rainHOE💦 Daddy's 😈💰👁️LOOKING 👁️👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀for his SAINT 🙏🛐🧎‍♂️‍➡️PADDYS✨ PRINCESS ✨💋💅👑👸to give his LUCKY 🎰 four4️⃣ leaf 🍀☘️🍀shamCOCK🍆 🍆🍆💦💦to. STRAP ON🍒💄🌹💋 your ‼️RED ‼️Irish beard 👺👹👹🔴🧔🏼 and get ready to stroke 🥵 🥵🥵daddies lepreCOCK 🍆🍆🍆all the way to the END 🔚🔚of the 🌈🌈🌈SLUTSbow🎀🎀👒🌈🌈🌈🌈

SEND THIS to 13.7 of your favorite 🤩🥰😍😍😍😍😍😍😻lepreCUM GUZZLERS 🌊💦💦💦💦💦💦to catch 👨🏻‍🦰👨🏻‍🦰McDADDY👨🏻‍🦰👨🏻‍🦰 by 👏the 🦶toe 🦶and BLOW💨💨💨💨 his BAGPIPES🪈

              👋 HEY YOU 🇮🇪

🇮🇪 🫦 🎩 SHAMROCK 🎩 SLUTS 🫦‼️ HOEping to get 🍀LUCKY🍀 this 🐢St. PatDICK'S Day?🍀? Want someone to rub you for luck🔮? ✳️Maybe put their🐍 shamCOCK🍀shake in your pot of GOLD?! 💎 🌈

🍀🍀🍀🍀💚on this 🗓day in history we 🤔remember our ST PADDY DADDY!! 👴🏼💚💚💚💚💦💦 this means it is time to 👅👅lick some lucky LEPRECHAUN 🍑ASS🍑!!! 😘you better wear some 🟢green 🟢so you dont get PINCHED👌👌 on the 😜PUSSY today! 💃🍆💦Send this to 1️⃣5️⃣ of your 😏sluttiest 🍀shamrock🍀 bitches👯‍♀️ or you wont get any 🟢GREEN 🟢DICK 💚🍆💚🍀tonight😭😭 If you get 5️⃣ back youre a little 🤢corned 🤢beef 🤢hoe😩😩 If you get 🔟 back youre st paddys princess👸👸 If you get 1️⃣5️⃣ back st 🍀paddy🍀 daddy 👴🏼 will give you his 👀huge😏 pot of gold tonight💰💰💰🍆💦💦👅👅

              HAPPY 😜🤗 ST PATDICKS 🍀🍆🍺 DAY YOU HORNY CUMSLUTS 😜💦 SHAMROCK 🍀 SHAKE DAT ASS FOR PAPI👏🏼👅🍑 DONT DRINK THAT BEER 😳🙅🏻🍺 DRINK DADDY'S LUCKY CUMMIES👅💦😋 RIDE THE RAINBOW 🌈🏃🏽 LIKE YOU'D RIDE THIS DICK 🍆🍑😳 AND LAND 🛬 NEXT TO THIS YEAR'S 📅 POT OF GOLD 💪🏼💰WHICH IS A BIG BLACK COCK 😜🍆 BUT IT WONT BE YOURS; YOU'LL BE OUT OF LUCK 😳❌ IF YOU DON'T SHARE THIS WITH 10 OTHER ZADDIES 😤😩 WHO WOULD WANT THEIR POCKET DOWNSTAIRS 😉😏👇🏼🍑 FILLED 💦👀
              ☘️ Happy St. PatDiCK's DAY 🍆👋 you 🍀SHAMROCK SLUTS 😫🍀👉👌IT's TIME TO BLOW 💨👅💦on Daddy's 👨🏻‍🦰 BAGPIPES, let him eat 🍝🍝👅your 🍀CLOVER COOCHIE🍀, and get rainBONED 🦴🍆😩💦🌈👏👏 in your pot of 🏵🏅🥇GOLD⚜️🔱💰😍

Saint 🙏 Daddy Patty 👨🏼‍🦰 was originally a R-HOE-man 🏛️🏺who was captured 🦹‍♂️ by CUNT-ic 👨🏻‍🎤👩🏻‍🎤 raiders who brought 🌊🚣him to Ireland 🇮🇪 ☘️ and made him a SEX 💦🍑 SLAVE ⛓️for 6️⃣ SLUTTY YEARS💦 ⏱️ He escaped 🏃‍♂️💨😥 but CAME BACK 💦😋 to cast all the snakes 🐍 🐍🐍 OUT 👉 of Ireland and to MISSIONARY 🕴️🍆💦 all the Irish ☘️ Poon for himself 😍💦👯‍♀️👩🏻‍🦰🧑🏻‍🦰👩🏻‍🦰🧑🏻‍🦰

He🫰used the shamrock 🫴☘️ to explain 🗣️ the 🕳️Holy 🕳️THOTTery🕳️ of Daddy 👨🏼‍🦰, Twink 🧑🏻‍🦰 & Holy SUCK-it 🌬️💦😋. And converted ♻️ all the Pagan 🧙🏼🧙🏻‍♀️🧙🏼PotatHOES 🥔👯🥔to believe in the ultimate ✨Daddy - JESUS 😍 ✝️🧎‍♀️

Now, every March 1️⃣7️⃣, we get rowdy 🤪🎉 and slutty 🍆😏 and FUCK 💦👉👌MISSIONARY 🦵🏻☘️🦵🏻just like ST DADDY PATTY 🫃✨👨‍🍼☘️ and the Pagan 🧙🏼🧙🏼PotatHOES 🥔

🗣️ Get ready 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️💨 for Daddy 👨🏼‍🦰 Patty's banger 🍆🍆 because he's been 👀 waiting 💁‍♂️ alllll year ⌚️👀 to make some MASH 🍆🥔🍦🤤😍. So grab some Guinness 🍻🍺🍻 and put on your SLUTTIEST 🫦💃🏻 green ☘️💚 outfit 👗 (OR ESLSE ⚠️ 🙅‍♂️ you'll get PINCHED 👌🤕 IN THE PRICK 🙇🍆👌🏻) and GET ⏬⏬ UNDER the rainbow 🌈 to guzzle on some LEPRE-CUM 🌈 💦👅 😛🤤🤹‍♂️🤹‍♂️ ☘️

Send this 📩 to 1️⃣7️⃣ of 🐍☘️❇️ your SLUTTIEST LUCKY 🍀 👯‍♀️👯👯‍♂️ bitches this📗 St. Patrick's Day 🤹‍♀️🧚🏽😍. If you get 0️⃣ back, you will have BAD LUCK 😭😭 and die 👻 in the next ⏭️ PotatHOE famine 🥔 😔💀🪦 Get 5️⃣ back 😌 and you're a Slutty ☘️ little Laddie Baddie 💋👯‍♀️ Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back 😎and Daddy Patty 👨🏼‍🦰 will be bangin 🔨 your mash 🍆🤤🍦 all over the rainbow 💦🌈 Get 1️⃣7️⃣ back 😍 and you're the ULTIMATE IRA 🔫🔫 PRINCESS 👸🏻 FIGHTING FOR IRISH ☘️🇮🇪 FREEDOM ✊WITH THAT BOMB 🧨💣 FIRECROTCH ❤️‍🔥🧑🏻‍🦰👩🏻‍🦰 CLOVER COOCHIE ☘️☘️💦🤤😍✊☘️🍀💚🍻🍺🇮🇪💚💚💚💚☘️💚😍😍
              Happy 😀 SLUTS 👌🍆💦💦💦Patrick's day 🍀 you sexy 💋Irish 🇮🇪 potaHOE.🥔 If you're looking 👀 to get lucky 🍀🏆 and have daddy's 👅 shamerCOCK 🍀🍆in your Pot of Gold 🌈🥇tonight, make sure you DON'T wear green 👕♼🙅so he can pinch👌😳

Be sure to send this to 10 of your luckiest 🍀 potaHOES 🥔

Get 0-4 back you're stuck in the great Irish 🇮🇪 potatHOE 🛇🥔 famine of 1845

Get 5-9 back you're a red head with skill in bed🛏😈

Get 10-19 back you're a leprachaun of loving💗

Get 20+ back your SLUT Patrick's 🍀 personal snake 🐍 charmer 💖
              Hoping to get 🍀LUCKY🍀 this 🐢St. Patrick's Day?🍀? Want someone to rub you for luck🔮? ✳️Maybe put their🐍 shamrock🍀shake in your pot of gold?✳️ I sent this to you because🐸 you're🌵 one of my 🌳LUCKIEST 🌱 hoes!!!!!!!!

Send this🔋 to TEN of 🈯️your SLUTTIEST LUCKY bitches this📗 St. Patrick's Day🍏. You know,🍃 the ones 💚that are big sluts but✅are lucky enough 🐲not to catch an STD!!!!!!❇️ If you don't🌴 send 💹this ♻️around to 🐊10 sluts you'll have BAD LUCK and contract❎ 6 STDs in the 🌲next 24 hours!😈 I BETTER get one 🌿back!🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀
              ON TOP OF THE ☀️ BONIN ☀️ TO YE. 🍀 🍀🍆 HAPPY ST PATDICK'S DAY. 🍆 🍀 🍀BOUNCE THIS 🎲 LUCKY 🎲 🇮🇪LEPRECHAUN 🇮🇪ON YOUR 🤸🤸🤸LAP🤸 🤸🤸FOUR TIMES IF YOU WANT TO 👅👅TASTE 👅 👅 HIS 🌈 🌈🌈POT OF GOLD. 🌈 🌈🌈 DON'T 🇮🇪 IRISH 🇮🇪 👋🏻 ON THIS 🐱🐱🐱💦PUSSY 💦🐱 🐱🐱 BECAUSE THIS CROTCH IS 🔥FIRE🔥I'LL 👄SUCK 👄A BOTTLE OF🍺 🍻 GUINNESS 🍻 🍺 THROUGH A 👅STRAW 👅4 YOUR 🍀🎰🎰LUCKY CHARMS🍀🎰🎰 FIND A MAN THAT WILL🧎🏼‍♀️ BEND 🧎🏼‍♀️YOU OVER AND PLUCK THAT 🍀CLOVER🍀TELL HIM IT'S ALWAYS 💄SLUTTY💄 IN 💪🏻PUMPADELPHIA.💪🏻ALL GOOD LITTLE CATHOLICS DESERVE A 🕳HOLE-Y 🕳3️⃣TRINITY3️⃣IF YOU WANT YOUR 🌈LUCKY 🌈CHARMS PINCHED DON'T WEAR 💚GREEN💚BECAUSE TODAY WE CELEBRATE THAT ☘️SHAMROCK ☘️ SHAKE. IF YOU WANT LUCK TO CUM IN 3️⃣SOMES, TELL HIM AND HIS 👨‍👨‍👦‍👦JAME-SONS👨‍👨‍👦‍👦TO 💦CUM💦 OVER AND TASTE THE 🌈 🌈🌈

IF YOU'RE FAERY 🌋 HORNY 🌋SEND THIS TO 10 🎰LUCKY 🎰EIRE HOES THAT WANT THAT 🚿🪙GOLDEN COIN SHOWER. 🚿🪙
              Happy SLUTS 👌🍆💦💦💦Patrick's day 🍀 you sexy 💋Irish 🇮🇪 potaHOE.🥔 If you're looking to get daddy's 👅 shamerCOCK 🍀🍆in your Pot of Gold 🌈🥇tonight, make sure you DON'T wear green 👕♼🙅so he can pinch👌😳 you all over

Get 0 back you're stuck in the great Irish 🇮🇪 potatHOE 🛇🥔 famine of 1845

Get 10 back you're a leprachaun of loving

Get 20 back your SLUT Patrick's personal snake 🐍 charmer 💖
              Fun SAINT PATRICK'S 🍀☘️DRINKING 🍶🥂🍻🍺🥃🍷🍾🍹🍸GAME💯🔥💯🔥! Every 🕛🕑🕕🕘hour, take a SHOT... of 6-8 fluid oz of 💧☔️WATER🔥🔥🔥 to stay 🙌🏻HEALTHY & HYDRATED. 💧WATER is a vital part of a 👌🏿HEALTHY 👌🏿ASS 👌🏿IMMUNE 👌🏿SYSTEM. This is because 👅💧💧water oxygenates your 🙀BLOOD, 😻flushes TOXINS, 😺helps the production of LYMPH (wtf?), keeps your 👀👁EYES and 👅👄MOUTH clean, and helps you digest 🥘🍣🍝GOOD MF FOOD💩💩💩. In addition, your body USES 🏊🏽WATER in all its CELLS, ORGANS, and TISSUES to help regulate its 🤒😷TEMPERATURE and maintain OTHER bodily FUNCTIONS. Because your body LOSES 💧💧WATER through BREATHIN, 😰😓SWEATIN, and DIGESTION, it's important to RE-MF-💯-HYDRATE by DRANKIN 🐋FLUIDS and 🍉🍏🍎🥒🍍🥝🥑EATIN FOOD that contain 🐳🐳W A T E R🍆🥒🥕🌽🥜🌰🍠🥔. Happy drinking!💯❤🍀🔥 
              ITS FINALLY 🙏 MARCH 🍀😏 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS 👒 Happy Saint PatDICKS 💦🍆🍌 Day 😍 It’s that time of year ✔️📅 to put on your sluttiest Irish jig 🎻🎶 and find 🔎 a WHORE leaf clover 🙊😝  Once upon a time 🕔 Saint Patdick CAME💦👄 from Ireland and found a pot of pussy 🐈💒 at the end of the rainHOE 😛🌈 Send this to 1⃣5⃣ of your skankiest St. Paddy'day daddys 👃👀🔥 Get none ⛔️ back youre a leprechaun🍻 lard 😂😷 get 5 back you’re a baked 🍁 cabbage savage🍞🙇 Get 🔟 back and you’re a  lucky leprechaun 😲😏SEND ➡️📬 this in 69 ♋️seconds 🕟🕒 or you will not ❌ be getting any 🙅 shamCOCK in 2025
              is this some kind of SICK 🤢🫸🏻 joke to you 🤨❓Quit EDGING 🚫💦 us and GIVE US☝🏻😡 that creamy😩🥛, rich🤑💰 lepreCUM 🍀👨🏻‍🦰 NUT 🥜 already🗣️‼️ This gaping pot 🕳️ at the end of my taint 🌈 WONT😤🙅🏻‍♂️stuff itself 🏅👑 
              HAPPY 🎉 pADDYs 💊 day you Irish ☘️ hO’s 🥔 A thousand 💯 years 📆 ago a Roman 🍕 🛵 slave ⛓️‍💥 cast all the SNAKY 🐍BITCHES 🐶 out of IRELAND 🇮🇪 until the CUNTY British 🇬🇧💂 showed up 🚢 CUM 🍆💦 out YE black🖤and tans 🧡 👊 But we won’t STEW 🍲 on that. WEAR green 💚 today so you DONT ❌ get pinched 🤏 on the PUSSY 🙀 SLURP up that green🍃 beer 🍻 and gobble those taters 🥔 you CULCHIE 🚜CUNTS Tiocfaidh ár lá GET YOUR TITS 👙OUT 👊 🇮🇪 Our DAY 📆 will CUM 🍆💦. SEND 💌 this to all your IRISH 💚 ☘️hoes. Get back 1️⃣ you’re a plastic 🥸 Paddy 🇮🇪 Get back 5️⃣ you’re a lucky 🍀 LEprechaun 🌟🌈 Get back 🔟 You’re GERRY 👴🏻ADAMS HIMSELF ☘️ SLÁINTE 🍻MOTHER 🧓🏻 FUCKERS 💋