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I think everyone wishes humans had tails

    I think everyone wishes humans had tails 
    
    Like imagine the moms at walmart saying “omg your hair is so pretty ;3” then you’d say thanks with a straight face but if we had a tail that shi would be waggin so fast. then she’ll notice it and be like “aww look at you getting all excited for mommy” then you’d start to blush and get all embarrassed and shi x3... yall feeling me on this one

    back in university for engineering, elon was revered by my classmates as a genius who revolutionized electric vehicle travel

      back in university for engineering, elon was revered by my classmates as a genius who revolutionized electric vehicle travel. i don’t know enough about cars or the key differences between internal combustion and electric motors, so i took them at their word for it.
      
      then i started getting invites to watch spacex launches, being told that he’s revolutionized space travel and we would be travelling to the moon commercially in my lifetime. i don’t know enough about space travel to say whether or not that’s true, so i took them at their word for it and cheered on some rocket explosions with my friends
      
      then elon bought twitter, and started talking about how he would revolutionize social media. i happen to know a great deal about software, and let me tell you, this dumb prick says some of the stupidest shit i’ve ever heard about application development . it was at that moment that i reevaluated my opinion on tesla and spacex, and rightly labelled elon as the con artist he is

      Laganja copypasta

        Its from Laganja’s stand up comedy from RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 6 that was incredibly cringe and became a copypasta. There is a fan edit of the scene that made it bearable and gets referenced a lot by fans.

        Hey hey hey HEYYYY👋👋👋 Put cha lighter’s up🔦🔦🔦! Ganja’s in the house 🏠 owwwwww😷! As you can tell from my accent I am from Dallas, Tex-ass🐴! And it was not very easy growing up looking like this💁! Whether I was playing in my grandma’s clothes👵 or putting on a show for my well-organized alphabetically-ordered beanie babies 🐱🐥🐵🐼 I was guh guh guh GAY👬👭! OKKURRR😃! But it wasn’t until I moved to Los Angeles ☀️🌴 that I discovered 🚬Marijuana🍀, I mean I like to smoke💨💨💨, y’all I am just flying✈️ as high👆 as your receding hairline👴! OKUr! 🚬 Marijuana🍀 really does help me calm down😴, so y’all, I went to Valencia where they film the TV show 🌱Weeds🌱! Now, y’all, it’s very dry🔥☀️, it’s almost kinda like your vajoina✌️👌! Can I get an amen🙌🙏?!? Now y’all, I am a treehugger🌳🌲 because if it ain’t green♻️, HUH😫 I’m not interested🙅! OKCURRRRRRRR💅💃!

        I’m sick of Sandleaf. I try to use Buckleaf. My Sandleaf produces more product.

          Its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Sandleaf plant in Arknights Endfield.

          I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Sandleaf. I try to use Buckleaf. My Sandleaf produces more product. I try to use Jincao . My Sandleaf makes more carbon. I try to use wood. My Sandleaf makes more shit. I want to try Yazhen. It's still way more efficient to use Sandleaf. I want to use Citrene - It's still not the best. It grabs me by the throat. I farm for it. I plant for it. I give it my water. It isn't satisfied. I make 5 Sandleaf farms. "I don't need this many farms" It tells me. "Give me more water." It grabs my water pump and forces me to grow more Sandleaf in the farm. "You just need to funnel me more. I can be way more efficient with space." I can't try other plants, I don't have enough Sky Forges anyway. It grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." It grabs my originium and makes 10 planters and 5 seeders. It says "More water" There is no hint of sadness in its eyes. Nothing but pure, efficient space utilization. What a cruel world.
          I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Sandleaf. I try to make Dense Carbon. It needs Sandleaf. I try to make Dense Ferrium. It needs Sandleaf. I try to make Dense Origocrust. It needs Sandleaf. I want to craft Xiranite components. Their best recipe relies on Sandleaf. I want to make Batteries, Gear Components - they both want Sandleaf. It grabs me by the logistics belt. I farm for it. I make a tons of loops for it. I give it a dedicated grid. It isn't satisfied. I build an Overclocked Grinder array. "I don't need this much processing speed," it tells me. "Give me more raw input." It grabs my power grid and forces it to overload. "You just need to expand the plantation more. I can bind more materials." I can't expand, I don't have enough grid. It grabs my Factory Layout. It declines. "Guess this is the end." It grabs the Shredding Unit. It says "Shredder, process them." There is no hint of sadness in its texture. Nothing but pure, inescapable binding agent bottleneck. What a cruel factory.

          Thats fucking esports right there

            It’s the “Thats fucking football right there” copypasta but changed into CS in response to NiKo smashing his table on LAN. The incident has become an iconic CS moment hence the memes.

            Thats fucking esports right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging smile for the webcam bullshit. NiKo punches, NiKo bleeds on the stream, NiKo delivers their new born baby on their HyperX Alloy Elite 2 Mechanical Gaming Keyboard™. Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterball Counter-strike fuck it chuck it shoot it game time shit. Esports are back, baby 

            That’s fucking Counter-Strike right there

            That's fucking counter-strike right there. None of that pansy ass s1mple-x-dev1ce dick tugging smile for the camera bullshit. Men puke, men poop on the map, men deliver their new born baby in Donut. Fucking hard core dick in the ass B-rush fuck it choke it game time shit. Take it to deathmatch. Dicks get shoved in places you don’t even remember. We win together we celebrate together. Counter-strike is back baby.
            Because that's fucking cs right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging hide behind the wall bullshit. Men wave, men throw thumbs up to the other team, men transform into eco hounds on the front lines. Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterball CS fuck it chuck it game time shit. CS is back, baby.