7 reasons why the Noble’s Slender Sword is the best weapon in the game.
by u/Staehr in Eldenring

7 reasons why the Noble's Slender Sword is the best weapon in the game.

1 - It has the Longsword moveset, which is the best moveset. Forget those penniless pretenders with their fancy weapon arts, explosions, teleports and all that voodoo. You are nobility. Your puissance is yours alone, your weapon is just an accessory to that.

2 - It is looooong. A whole peasant's hand longer than those filthy longswords the soldiers use. Long weapons have long hitboxes. Poke your dissidents before they can dirty your attire. Then laugh at them for being poor.

3 - It gets top of the line in Dexterity scaling and takes exceptionally well to elemental infusions, for those with discriminating taste. Strength builders can even get it up to A, just please use Soap first. As if you were the type to get into fisticuffs anyway - that's what summons are for!

4 - It has 110 crit modifier, because people who parry a lot are just better than everybody else. Backstabbing, too, is very appropriate for a nobleman.

5 - It has rock bottom requirements. Even your noodly-armed Astrologers and Bandits can pick it up right away, without wasting points in Strength like a pack animal. Being an aristocrat is easy.

6 - It looks absolutely balling and is a necessity in any fashionable build. Forget the gauchely decorated Rogier's Rapier with its inhuman Dexterity requirement, it just smacks of new money. This refined, elegant weapon is coated in the timeless glamour of gold, conveying the splendor that is yours by birthright.

7 - It is an ultra rare drop from the few enemies who carry it. You can farm for hours, grinding hundreds and thousands of Nobles into paste without ever seeing it. Only the luckiest and most privileged aristocrat-killers may own this opulent deathstick. That's you. You won. Congratulations, winner.