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Breakup message for Geometry Dash players

    By u/Wozerd, its a brainrot breakup message with lots of Geometry Dash references.

    sorry ive been distant.. my minds just been a stereo of madness recently, i was hoping we could get back on track but it feels like theres a poltrageist holding me back. I dont want to dry out what we have left but its just base after base with you. I dont want to be a jumper of conclusions but i think we should break up. If i had a time machine i would go back and end the toxic cylcles but it looks like im just gonna be another xstep for you. I’ll just be a part of your theory of everything in your electroman adventures. While im at club step youll be studying electrodynamix and thats okay. I just feel overwhelmed like im blast processing all this at once. And I hope you finish your theory of everything 1 because i want to be part of your theory of everything 2, maybe this time i could be the geometrical dominator… I dont know i just feel so deadlocked.
    

    It’s been 4 minutes since I last played Edgar.

      By u/plz_st0p_it, its a circlejerk copypasta for Brawl Stars about Edgar being banned.

      It’s been 4 minutes since I last played Edgar.
      
      When the ban first began, I was calm. Confident, even.
      
      “This will be quick,” I said.
      
      I was wrong.
      
      I opened Brawl Stars. Assasins banned.
      
      Closed Brawl Stars. Opened it again. Assasins banned.
      
      Restarted my phone. Assasins banned.
      
      Restarted my hope. Assasins still banned.
      
      I’ve refreshed the Brawl Stars Reddit so many times my finger moves on its own now.
      
      I know every mod by heart.
      
      I recognize the users of people losing their sanity alongside me.
      
      We are brothers in suffering.
      
      Time no longer flows normally.
      
      Minutes stretch like hours.
      
      Hours feel like entire Mega Pig waits.
      
      I stare at the assasins banned announcement as if it might change if I blink slowly enough.
      
      It doesn’t.
      
      It never does.
      
      Edgar whispers to me in my dreams.
      
      I practice bush ganks on invisible enemies.
      
      I punch at nothing, hoping muscle memory doesn’t fade.
      
      My skins sit abandoned in the vault.
      
      My trophies wait.
      
      They don’t know I’m trapped outside the game, locked away by a single sentence:
      
      "ASSASINS BANNED! #RANDOMBS.”
      
      I tried to pass the time.
      
      I watched videos. Everyone else is stuck too.
      
      I scrolled social media. All I see are memes about suffering.
      
      I laughed at first.
      
      Now they just feel too real.
      
      I attempted real life activities.
      
      None of them reward coins.
      
      None of them give starr drops.
      
      None of them push my trophies.
      
      I walked outside. The sky looked low-resolution.
      
      bots everywhere, yet no brawl arenas to win.
      
      The world feels unfinished.
      
      I returned to my screen.
      
      Still banned.
      
      My patience is gone.
      
      My sanity is fading.
      
      My loading screen knowledge has reached max rank.
      
      If this continues, I fear I may forget the joy of trophy grinding.
      
      I may forget the pain of bad drop RNG.
      
      I may forget why I even started this journey.
      
      Please, devs.
      
      End this ban.
      
      Let the ganks happen once more.
      
      Let me dive.
      
      Let me grind.
      
      Let me suffer by choice, not by force.
      
      It’s been 4 hours since I last played Edgar.
      
      And I’m still here.

      Total Mind Flayer Death

        Its the TND copypasta but changed to Mind Flayers from Baldur’s Gate.

        Kill Mind Flayers. Behead Mind Flayers, Roundhouse kick a Mind Flayer into the concrete. Slam dunk a Squid into the trashcan. Crucify filthy Illithid. Defecate in a Mind Flayer parasite tanks. Launch Mind Flayers into the Sun. Stir fry Mind Flayers in a wok. Toss Mind Flayers into active volcanoes. Urinate on Mind Flayer brain food. Judo throw Mind Flayers into a wood chipper. Twist Mind Flayer heads off. Report Mind Flayers to the Githyanki Warriors. Karate chop Mind Flayers in half. Curb stomp Intellect Devourers. Trap Mind Flayers in quicksand. Crush Mind Flayers in the trash compactor. Liquefy Mind Flayers in a vat of acid. EAT Mind Flayers. Dissect Mind Flayers. Exterminate Mind Flayers in the gas chamber. Stomp Mind Flayer skulls with steel toed boots. Cremate Mind Flayers in the oven. Lobotomize Mind Flayers. Stuff Mind Flayer heads in the garbage disposal. Drown Mind Flayers in fried chicken grease. Vaporize Mind Flayers with Magic. Kick old Elder Brains down the stairs. Feed Mind Flayers to other Mind Flayers. Slice Mind Flayers with a Silver Sword.

        Why 2007 was the worst year for the internet – An analysis of why the internet has declined since 2007

          This was a rant about the current state of the internet by BEST_MAN_202 on Kiwifarms, a forum best known for harassment and toxicity. OP theorized that the proliferation of smartphones are whats ruining internet space and that social media are monetizing the illiterate by feeding them political content that they otherwise had no interest in.

          2007-2009 marked a shift in society. We have the election of Obama in 2008, the iPhone, financial crash, and arguably most important- the maturity of the internet. 2007 was the worst year for the internet and mobile phones and videos becoming more popular opened the floodgates for the lowest common denominator of people being able to access the internet, the internet becoming indistinguishable from everyday life, becoming a part of life and who we are instead of a hobby and it was also the time where companies got a foothole on the internet and tried to regulate it. 2007 was when the internet turned to shit. 1/4 >The wild west and the regulation of the net The early 2000s was the wild west of the internet and life in general. The new century for new life, new beginning, and new dreams. Now, it's feels old and too jaded. Everything feels like a jungle-tron and is infested of drugs, depression, and other sad things. Social media has become a incorporated to the point where you can't say anything without being threaten to be unemployed for what you twitted, demonized or even speak freely. Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, and other big time social media platforms are the newest forums. Any active forum before that is now a ghost town. Prior to 2007, the internet really was the Wild West. The golden age for me was 2001-07, high speed internet and the feeling of endless exploration. Facebook was still “cool” This era marked a shift in the way content was produced. The old internet was exciting because it was new and lawless. Lawmakers had no idea what the internet was in 2000.Fear about hackers stealing your money from the banks, phone companies not understanding what a script/virus that called a 900 number from your computer was. Hell congress use the movie "Hackers" as evidence for trying to regulate the internet? It was used to promote anything and everything , it was full of pirated everything, Napster was insane when it came out. Think of what they charged for CDs, games, and such in 2000. You had no option but to buy it or try to copy one of the 2 songs from a cd off the radio. They kept trying to regulate it but no one in power had any idea what was going on or how to even start regulating the internet. It was around 2005-7 that companies realized the money they could make with it. Things like EBay Amazon and Apple music started to take off. When the companies started making money, they told congress how to regulate the internet to insure their profits. Torrent something nowadays without a vpn and there is a good chance your cable company will cut off your service. 2/4 >Smartphones and the dumbing down of the net Smartphones is one of the reasons why the internet is ruined. Before smartphones, getting on the web was an activity, similar to watching a movie, or playing a video game. You had to put aside your other tasks and sit down in front of a pc and then "surf" the web. And when you finished, you got up, turned off the pc and did something else. People no longer spend hours gazing at a computer screen after work or class; instead, they use their mobile devices to stay online everywhere, all the time. Before it the internet was considered a fringe place for "geeks and nerds". It made the internet mainstream for every single normie on the planet, which ruined the internet in a way. With smartphones its no longer an activity, it's just part of everyone's day to day life, because it's always right there, at all times, at everyone's fingertips. Smartphone apps also made social media easier to access , made videos and online articles more standard as a means of getting news and info, etc. When you can go to the bar and browse the web, or check Twitter on your lunch break (or when you have any downtime at work), and then can check Facebook as you watch a movie or between video game matches, or as you fix your car or watch your son play baseball, it means that it's no longer an activity you have to spend time doing; it has become part of your "lifestyle". Smartphones turned everything into a swipe app zero iq mess. and the fact that a lot of people don't really process - most people on the internet are on phones now. 10x so. Also several interesting studies point to smartphones having at least some effect on cognition. Studies have linked smartphone use with a decreased ability to exert high levels of focus and poorer attention control. 3/4 >Monetising the illiterate population A large portion of the population isn't capable of reading and learning from books. About 20% of people in the USA can't read the instructions on a pill bottle. 20% of American adults have very low to nonliterate literacy level and over 12 Percent of UK citizens are illiterate. They tend to be consumed by spectacles and lack the ability to concentrate on more rational, dispassionate presentations. Youtube, instagram, etc., are monetizing this illiterate portion of the population and feeding them the very political content they've ever really been able to consume. It's similar to the revolution that happened in society when the Bible was first translated into other languages. Messages are corrupted (intentionally and accidentally) and people who have never thought before rush to rash and ill considered worldviews. Social justice groups and similar such groups resemble a religious movement like the puritans or protestants because they are birthed by similar technological phenomena. Plus web search engines now are orders of magnitude worse than around 2005. everything wants to be curated content. you can't type a text string in google and get a match. It's all dumbspeak for dumb dumbs. I honestly doubt it will get better, and it honestly seems like it's getting worse. 

          I have a very weird confession about geometry dash.

            By u/Gryllodea, its a shitpost towards another post about a person feeling sexual when playing Geometry Dash.

            I have a very weird confession about geometry dash.
            
            Alright, throwaway for obvious reasons. This is so deeply embarrassing that I've never told a single person in my life. But I saw this post the other day, and for the first time ever, I didn't feel completely insane. So I'm just gonna rip the band-aid off.
            
            My whole life, I've felt like I was "broken" when it came to this stuff. I'm asexual and aromantic. I don't look at people and feel that. Honestly, most porn makes me feel kinda sick. I figured my wiring was just... different, and that was that.
            
            But then there's Geometry Dash.
            
            It sounds like a joke, I know. It sounds like a bad meme. It's not. It's the most confusing, shameful, and real thing I've ever dealt with.
            
            I'm not talking about levels with cute art. I'm talking about the pure, raw gameplay. A perfectly synced dual sequence. A clean, tight wave part where every click lines up with the music. A smooth, flowing ship section with impossible-looking turns. Watching a really well-made, difficult level gets me so... intensely, physically worked up that I can't control it. It's a direct, involuntary physical reaction. I've had to stop watching YouTube videos of levels because of it. It’s that powerful, and that embarrassing.
            
            After reading that other post, I fell down a rabbit hole trying to understand why. The closest thing I've found that makes sense is that it's not actually a fetish. A fetish is when you're attracted to something. I'm not attracted to the level. It's more like my brain completely misfires.
            
            The satisfaction I get from watching perfect gameplay, the rhythm, the precision, the visual ASMR of it all, its so powerful that my brain seems to misinterpret that flood of "YES, THIS IS PERFECT" feeling as sexual arousal. My body just follows orders from the wrong signal. It's apparently a real, studied thing: a "misattribution of a non-sexual stimulus."
            
            So... yeah. I'm the guy who has to take a cold shower after watching a good Neiro showcase. It feels pathetic to type out, but there it is. If there's anyone else out there who gets it, even a little... hi. You're not a monster. You're just wired in a really, really weird way.

            Balatro

            I have a very weird confession about balatro
            
            Alright, throwaway for obvious reasons. This is so deeply embarrassing that I've never told a single person in my life. But I saw this post the other day, and for the first time ever, I didn't feel completely insane. So I'm just gonna rip the band-aid off.
            
            My whole life, I've felt like I was "broken" when it came to this stuff. I'm asexual and aromantic. I don't look at people and feel that. Honestly, most porn makes me feel kinda sick. I figured my wiring was just... different, and that was that.
            
            But then there's Balatro.
            
            It sounds like a joke, I know. It sounds like a bad meme. It's not. It's the most confusing, shameful, and real thing I've ever dealt with.
            
            I'm not talking about jokers with cute art. I'm talking about the pure, raw gameplay. A perfectly built up economy. A clean, tight boss blind where every hand and discard matters. A smooth, flowing strategy with impossible-looking pivots. Watching a really well-played, difficult yet somehow possible gold stake win gets me so... intensely, physically worked up that I can't control it. It's a direct, involuntary physical reaction. I've had to stop watching DrSpectred and Roffle because of it. It’s that powerful, and that embarrassing.
            
            After reading that other post, I fell down a rabbit hole trying to understand why. The closest thing I've found that makes sense is that it's not actually a fetish. A fetish is when you're attracted to something. I'm not attracted to the joker. It's more like my brain completely misfires.
            
            The satisfaction I get from watching perfect gameplay, the triggers, the precision, the visual ASMR of it all, its so powerful that my brain seems to misinterpret that flood of "YES, THIS IS PERFECT" feeling as sexual arousal. My body just follows orders from the wrong signal. It's apparently a real, studied thing: a "misattribution of a non-sexual stimulus."
            
            So... yeah. I'm the guy who has to take a cold shower after watching a good Perkeo-less naneinf. It feels pathetic to type out, but there it is. If there's anyone else out there who gets it, even a little... hi. You're not a monster. You're just wired in a really, really weird way.
            

            Niflheim copypasta

              This copypasta is a chaotic text transcription of the level “Niflheim” in Geometry Dash by the player Koreaqwer.

              The text is a direct reading of the on-screen text objects and gameplay modes that flash during the level, combined with the end credits. It became a meme in the Geometry Dash community due to the level’s notoriously weird decoration, the “spammy” nature of the text, and the controversy surrounding its verification.

              LDM ball cube ball big cube ball next Rest In Peace niflheim vismuth slow wave fast robot keep going! slow ship go! slow ball Auto? fast dual ship slow fast ufo slow How? fast ship slow cube fast ball lol slow robot in out slow ufo take a break ????? !!!!! ?? ?! ??! !! ?! !! ?!!? ??! !! ?!!? ??! ?! ?? !! ?? !! ?? ?! ??! ?!!? ?? ??! ?! !! ?!!? slow ufo go! go! Yeah! fast cube dual wave watch out! faster! OMG! mini next next great! verified by NIFLHEIM koreaqwer