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PLEASE mark this NSFW!! (Chicken Jockey edition)

    Its the NSFW on a train copypasta but changed to Chicken Jockey reference from the Minecraft Movie.

    PLEASE mark this NSFW!!! I was at my house, just lazing around with a bag of smart corn (not sponsored) scrolling through Reddit when I encountered this image, I couldn't contain myself, I had to scream "CHICKEN JOCKEY" at the top of my lungs and start furiously emptying my popcorn onto everything around me while my family said things like "you're a disappointment" and "what the hell is wrong with you?". I dropped my phone in the commotion and now there's a whole house of people going ballistic and throwing food. All of this could have been prevented if you just put an NSFW tag on your post. 

    The 7.62x54R will outlive gunpowder

      The 7.62x54R will outlive gunpowder. There will be Gauss guns designed to mimic its terminal ballistics, its recoil will be the maximum for shoulder weapons, and lasers will be considered viable for field use when they're within the length and weight of a Mosin-Nagant. Only specialist historians will know why those standards exist, but they will be there. 

      Parents kicked me out of the house for installing Linux

        So we are low middle class family, and we share a single computer between the entire household.
        
        Last evening my dad told me my mom is scheduled today for an online remote job interview. I love my mom, so I decided to reformat the computer and install Manjaro Linux to give her a bleeding edge workstation.
        
         
        
        But she didn't appreciate that. She turned on the computer 15 minutes before her interview and idk what to say... she overreacted a bit. She said she needed Microsoft Teams for the interview, so I explained that Linux is installed in most of the world's online servers, so it should be good enough for her.
        
        She wasn't listening, she asked if I made backups of her digital resume. I said no and then she cried.
        
        So I squeezed her shoulders and told her that it's ok, because the most popular mobile OS is Linux (It's android btw).
        
         
        
        She kept saying things like "how is that relevant" and "...my usecase", but I've had enough so I grabbed her by the legs and spun her around.
        
        "LINUX..." I said as I spun her
        
        "...RUNS..."
        
        *spin *spin *spin
        
        "...95 PERCENT..."
        
        *spin *spin *spin
        
        "...OF THE WORLD'S SERVERS"
        
        I let go of her legs and she flew across the house.
        
         
        
        I galloped towards her and I tied her up
        
        "SYSTEM ADMINS PREFER LINUX, THAT MEANS YOU SHOULD USE IT TOO" I calmly explained as I tightened the knots.
        
        Then my dad came into the room and tried to separate us.
        
        "You need to leave" he told me.
        
        "You don't understand," I argued. "Linux runs the world's internet infrastructure. And that's relevant because... because... because it just is, ok?!"
        
        "We've taken care of you for 34 years" My dad replied, "it's time you grow up".
        
         
        
        So now I'm packing my things, all because my close minded parents aren't willing to learn Linux, (fun fact: it's the number one operating system preferred by system admins)

        I don’t know why, but when you play Captain America, it feels like you’re actually in the game as him.

          I don’t know why, but when you play Captain America, it feels like you’re actually in the game as him. You don’t “play” as the Captain, it becomes your lifestyle, a full time career with no breaks.
          
          It feels like you instantly become the most dedicated player in the lobby. It isn’t about the ranks, battle passes, and cosmetics at all, it’s about the message.
          
          Each shield toss isn’t just a move, it’s an oath! Every block, is a stand for morality! Every charge signifies an unyielding dedication to truth, freedom, and pure justice… of punching your enemy supports in the face nonstop!
          
          When there’s a Captain on the enemy team (and a good one at that) forget about getting healed, because we have one mission: To harass the enemy supports at all costs! You might be spamming your ping for heals all game, but your supports are too busy getting abused by the walking embodiment of freedom and justice!
          
          Last but not least: The grind. Captain America mains work very hard for their kills. Every elimination involves calculated effort, determination, and sheer willpower of American determination. Which is why the community came up with what is called “Capflation.” A special economic system where every stat is tripled in numbers, so if you go 11-2 with the Captain, that’s 33-2, since their elimination required more sweat and patriotism more than everyone in the lobby.
          
          TL;DR: At the end of the day, this is what makes Captain America mains the most dedicated players in Marvel Rivals! This isn’t just a “character/hero” to us. It’s a lifestyle! (Glaze over)

          do u think that yoshi gets embarrassed when he poos out eggs in front of mario???

            do u think that yoshi gets embarrassed when he poos out eggs in front of mario??? sorry if this ofends anyone but i thought it was a funny thing haha. and i would like to know if any of you have any pics of yoshi pooping an egg while he looks nervous or embarrassed i just want to see it for a few laughs haha. another thing i am wondering is what do you think the eggs smell like haha im just curious for laughs haha i would like to smell them. 

            Ji Tu – Art of Choke

              G2 team in CS2

              Similar to the Hu Xi copypasta, its a troll on G2 Esports by romanization of the player and team names into Chinese. Snax, NiKo, huNter, m0NESY, malbsMd and G2 has been changed into their respective Chinese equivalent.

              Counter Strike 2

              🈵JI TU🈵ART OF CHOKE🈵MAO NI ZHI🈵 EM MA DI 🈵 HAN TA 🈵 XI NAX 🈵 
              Ji Tu - Art of Choke
              
              Starring Snak Su, Ni Koh, Han Ta, Mo Neh Xi, and Mal Sem Di.

              Valorant

              🈵 JI TU 🈵 ART OF CHOKE 🈵 ZHOU NA PI 🈵 WA LIN 🈵 ZHAO GE MO 🈵 LI FU 🈵 TLENT 🈵 
              JI TU BigPhish ART OF CHOKE BigPhish FA LIN BigPhish TLENT BigPhish ZHAO GE MO BigPhish ZHOU NA PI BigPhish LI FU