Yesterday I saw a white, windowless van saying "free candy" in spray paint. I love candy, especially free, so naturally I walk over to the van and knock on the window. The man came out and he looked quite old and strange, and he also smelt a bit like fish and sewage. But who am I to judge if I'm getting free candy right? He opened the back door and told me to come inside. Inside it was dark and it smelt like the bathroom after my dad's daily alone time. I felt the man touch my legs and feet when all of a sudden the lights turned on. I could see him crouched over next to me at a light switch and to my amazement there was the most candy I have ever seen in my life. The man smiled to reveal black and missing teeth, probably from the sugar in all of the candy. He told me to take as much as I want. After eating as much as my stomach could hold, I went home with my pockets filled with the candy. When i got home, my dad asked where have I been all this time so i told him the story. He then took me to my room and proceeded to fuck me in the ass
I go to the bathroom while me phone in my hand opened on pornhub, planing to beat my meat, so i open the bathroom looking at my phone and i go to the toilet and i see my brothers shit in the toilet unflushed and so i try to flush it while looking away and my phone falls into the toilet. I looked at my phone while it was open on pornhub and full of shit (literlly) i grabbed the tip of my phone and took it out, i washed it sanitized it the phone is okay but now everytime i open pornhub i think about my brother's shit.
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And that's how I started jerking to hentai
kitten, daddy is very angry with you 😡 tail goes between legs you didn't show up to our discord date!!💔 if you ever bail on me again I will be forced to punish you 😈 tail rises starts sweating i can be your angle, or your devil kitten 😇😈 ur pick growls
Your son, F2-Y8, is having his 13th birthday party soon. You sigh, knowing that will be the day he becomes of age. You check the mail, and see a familiar logo: the symbol for recycling, except the three arrows are three sperm cells. It is a letter from the Department of Cum Extraction, notifying you that another daily load of cum is now expected from your household. Failure to produce said daily load within 3 days of your son’s birthday will result in a cum tax. Your family can’t afford another cum tax. You hesitantly head to your son’s room to explain what his fate will be until he can no longer produce cum. You show him the location of the ol’ household sperm tube and how to use it. He seems embarrassed and confused at first, but you know that one day he will get used to it.
Cum, more specifically sperm, is the future of renewable energy! Now you may think I’m crazy, but hear me out for a second. Upon ejaculation, a male releases 15 to 200 million sperm cells. According to the 2010 Census, there are 151.8 million males in the United States. If 151.8 males produced even the lowest number of 15 million sperm cells, it would result in there being somewhere in the quadrillions of these tiny things, and that’s just a single day. I know you’re probably wondering what this has to do with renewable energy, and we’re getting there now. Because of the sheer amount of these things, they could likely generate insane amounts of heat despite their microscopic stature, if placed close together. My proposal is that every male in the country cums at least once per day in an aptly named, “sperm tube”, which is placed in every household and connects to an underground facility, where the cells are being collected in one big dome, which connect to another set of tubes that transfer their heat energy to every home in the country. So what are we waiting for? We are using up all of our natural resources despite a perfectly viable, cheap, and renewable source living under our noses as we speak. You can do your part. Start protesting and make our goal known to the government. Recruit more people to join our cause. Preserve your sperm to make a statement. Climate change is a serious issue, and this would drastically reduce our use of non renewable resources, in simple terms, your cum can save the world. This won’t be an easy fight, but if we all band together, I believe we can do it!
