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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.


My roommate keeps fucking his bed.

    Original post
    My roommate keeps fucking his bed. How do I approach this?

I honestly don’t know how else to put it.

So for context, my roommate warned me that he “sometimes sleeptalked” at night, but I had gotten extremely unlucky with my first two roommates… they were absolutely terrible. Inconsiderate, spoiled, and disgusting. Therefore, a clean, tidy, hygienic roommate sounded great and I thought that a little sleeptalking wouldn’t hurt anyone.

The sleeptalking I can handle. The sleepfucking, on the other hand, I cannot handle. For clarification, the “sleeptalking” went from a few mumbles and groans (the first month) to nightly violent spring squeaking coming across the room.

This man will literally be pounding his mattress at 4 in the morning (it’s currently 4:30 and he’s just woken me up after rawdogging his mattress again). It got to the point where I had to use earplugs to sleep… but that caused me to miss my alarm and therefore, a class.

The other disturbing part is that he calls out names. He is currently single, and unfortunately, we have the same friend group. So occasionally, I’ll hear one of their names moaned out in the middle of the night. Here’s what woke me up half an hour ago.

squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak “uuuunghhhhhh Lauren” squeak squeak “oh fuck yeah” squeak

It only stops when 1: he climaxes. 2: he fucks the bed so violently that he bounces his himself up the bed and hits his head on the wall.

I have no idea how to approach this with him, since he’s very shy and tends to avoid/get quiet when there are sexual discussions (when he’s awake, at least.) I wouldn’t want to make it awkward, but I can’t deal with him waking me up all the time. How should I approach this?

    Official Statement Regarding My Mom.

      Official Statement Regarding My Mom.

Ok, I’m sorry for the off topic thread, but I feel like this needs to be said. Yesterday, at around 6:46 PM Eastern Time, a fellow redditoir in this sub- who I won’t name- claimed that they “slept with my mom”.

Let me get something straight. This anonymous redditoir didn’t sleep with my mom. In fact, none of you have ever and will never do something liek that. I know that for a fact.

So, please, nobody believe them. If you’ve seen the comment in question, just ignore them. Ok? Thanks

I’m sorry for derailing the chicanery but this needed to be said.

      Hey OP please stop replying to your own post.

        Daily reminder that people like this exist and have rights.
        byu/Particular-Cry-778 inDownvotedToOblivion
        Hey OP please stop replying to your own post. It's seen by karma farming by most of experienced Redditors and we definitely won't hesitate to down-vote your comments. Don't you think the karma points you've gained from the post itself are enough? There's no need to extend your metaphorical limb down the karma jar and pick up as much karma points as you can by clugging-up the whole comment section with your replies. I'll give you 10 minutes to delete the comments. When I come back I will down-vote them if they have not been removed.

Edit: Guys, you are down-voting the wrong person.

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