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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.

Stop talking about individual penis length as if it’s the same every time.

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    Stop talking about individual penis length as if it's the same every time. 

I took many dick pics to (consensually) send to my (now ex) girlfriend when I was still with her. One thing I noticed in the different pics was that the size and shape of my erect penis was variable. This makes sense because erections are caused by blood flow, and the tissue is highly elastic. Additionally, arousal levels are different every time. Hydration levels are different. Anxiety is different. Engorgement is different. People who appear to be lying about penis length may actually be sincerely estimating based on "peak performance" rather than the average. This is why I like edging and keeping myself aroused for long periods of time while trying not to cum too often, because this makes my cock look nice and thick.

No, I will not be posting pictures. I thought of posting my dick pics on a suitable subreddit but decided against it because most people follow my account for (admittedly often horny) shitposts and natural history facts. Even with spoilers, I don't want to accidentally cyberflash anyone. This is why I use Google Drive to store my personal porn stash instead of my phone's offline gallery, as I may accidentally send a picture of anthro Maud Pie's deliciously phat ass to a conservative fossil collector friend in America while trying to negotiate a deal for a *Nanotyrannus* tooth, or worse, accidentally sending a dick pic or Melony's milky MILF tits to a fellow member of my local rockhounding club. I don't even play Pokemon (the creature designs are too cartoony), I just like thicc, busty MILFs.

I rest my case.

    What is this subreddit?

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      What is this subreddit? I’ve been in this subreddit for a few months and I still don’t understand what the hell is happening. There’s like 8 simultaneous layers of meta irony happening at once and the references are so dense I can’t even tell if anything here is meant to be funny. Please god can someone make an encyclopedia for the references these redditors seem to love churning out every few weeks as the next hilarious bit that nobody except for 20 people will understand. Holly hell. En passant. 
      Holy shit this is fucking glorious copypasta material 
      Glad I could add another layer of meta humour to the burning pile that is r/AnarchyChess . Screw you guys, I’m gonna play a good game like connect 4 or something.

      A Humble Plea to Return Sinkpissing to Its Roots

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        Friends. Scholars. Vertical-stream philosophers.

I come before you today not as an enemy of the sink, nor as some porcelain puritan clutching pearls at the thought of unconventional drainage. I joined this community for the idea of sinkpissing. The theory. The craft. The forbidden ergonomics. The bold architectural questions. The appreciation of a good basin doing what lesser minds said it could not.

But lately, I fear we have lost our way.

This subreddit was once a place where a person could post a sink and invite discussion. Height. Depth. Splash radius. Faucet clearance. Countertop composition. The sacred geometry of the act. We were not merely asking, “Can one piss here?” My friends, we were imploring, “What does this sink say about humanity?”

Now? Too many posts are just streams in motion. Gentlemen, please. We are drifting dangerously from absurdist plumbing appreciation into something that feels less like a joke and more like someone’s private bookmarks folder.

I am not here to kinkshame. I am here to sinkshame.

Post the sink. Discuss the technique. Debate the ethics of public vs. private fixtures. Share your finest porcelain finds. But please, let us retire the live-action piss footage and restore dignity to this once-great institution.

Less stream. More sink.

Return to tradition.

        Soup Tube

          AKA the soup tube story is a post from r/relationship_advice back in 2020 where a woman was asking advice on her boyfriend ludicrous idea. Her boyfriend proposed an idea of constructing tubes within the city to deliver soup to customer’s homes on a monthly subscription basis.

          The original post has been removed by moderators but an archived copypasta version can be found on the copypasta sub.

          My (25F) boyfriend (25M) keeps asking me to invest in his "soup tube" business idea, and I am not sure how to deal with it

I have been living with my boyfriend for about 7 months. Two weeks ago he sat me down and presented a powerpoint presentation with his business idea. I knew he'd been working on an idea, but he didn't want to tell me about it until it was finished. Based on his enthusiasm and his prior seemingly intelligent nature, I thought maybe it'd be a pretty cool idea.

Instead he presented to me an idea about "soup tubes". The idea, if you can call it that, is to construct a series of tubes throughout our city that leads to centralized soup kitchens. For a monthly subscription, a customer can "subscribe to a tube of soup", and a tube extension would be built off the nearest mainline tube and directly into the customer apartment or home. Based on subscription level, that would determine the quantity of soup a customer could pour and how many types of soup. The "tubes" are basically the size of pipes, like you might see under a sink, but he insisted that "it MUST be called soup tube, not soup pipe, tube just zings better."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. At first I asked if he was crank yanking me or something, but he was completely sincere. Obviously, the idea is completely insane. The notion that the city would authorize somebody to construct a series of tubes everywhere that carry soup into homes is of course ludicrous. And even if such an initiative were approved, the costs for such an operation would be ridiculous. You would have to charge outrageous prices for customers to install and "subscribe" to a soup tube, and who would pay for such a service when canned soup costs like a dollar or two? Or you can buy soup from a restaurant for a few dollars? I explained these things as politely as I could but he dismissed them and all said that "tube based soup delivery is the wave of the future."

He then asked me how much I wanted to invest, and I told him nothing, and he looked absolutely heartbroken. Since then, almost every day he has asked again for me to invest, and keeps trying to sell me on the idea. He is also doing the same thing to a lot of his friends.

It is starting to drive me up the wall. First, I am at a loss as to how he can believe such a stupid idea is worthwhile, second it is really god damned annoying to be asked on a daily basis to invest in a system of soup tubes, and third I am also concerned for his sanity. Other than his apparent obsession with this though he has shown no other signs.

I would like some advice as to how I can reason with him, or whether I should even continue this relationship.

TL:DR - My boyfriend wants me to invest in a business venture wherein tubes would deliver soup.

          Am i the only one who goons to geometry dash (not the women) levels?

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            Am i the only one who goons to geometry dash (not the women) levels?

NOT A COPYPASTA. REAL STORY.

I used to be asexual and aromantic, since I think everyone looks just as okay and I find no romantic interest in talking to people. Porn is just downright disgusting for me. But whenever 1 watch good gameplay, I get uncontrollably erect and can't resist the urge to start masturbating. I want to know that is it just me who masturbates to gameplay from geometry dash? Or do other people do it as well? Just look at QDYNAMIX and tell me you DONT get hard at how satisfying the gameplay is????? I need answers.

No, I am not talking about geometry dash girls like the girls in Aperture or Muse Dash. I meant the pure, raw gameplay

            In Christian mythology this is known as a J-job and is well established as the only form of premarital sex that is not a sin

              Fun fact: In Christian mythology this is known as a J-job and is well established as the only form of premarital sex that is not a sin.

In the 1500's it was common to masturbate with a hollowed out wheel of cheese. Pope Clement VII officially declared this a J-job so long as the cheese was possessed with the Holy Ghost, formalizing a solemn prayer that could be said immediately prior to orgasm of "Jesus, take the wheel".