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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.


Honestly, FUCK GM.

    The copypasta came from r/regularcarreviews where a user made a post complaining about buying an American Chevy Cruze and hating “everything they stand for” after the car broke down.

    Honestly, FUCK GM. i bought this car for my gf because she thought it looks nice and she likes the "bulky american look" .....now im here stranded in the middle of fucking western nowhere in the cold waiting for the tow truck and this ugly piece of dogshit wont get into gear anymore. Fuck U.S. cars.
    
    It has only approx 140k miles. engine is a bit noisy but i guess thats normal for GM. It wont get into gear anymore and it stinks horribly. How can a car be this bad? Im stranded here and i cant even tell the tow truck where the fuck iam because im in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. FUCK american cars and everything they stand for.

    Honestly, FUCK FISHER PRICE.

    Honestly, FUCK FISHER PRICE. i bought this car for my gf because she thought it looks nice and she likes the "plastic foot-powered look" .....now im here stranded in the middle of fucking sidewalk in the heat waiting for the tow truck and this ugly piece of dogshit wont get into gear anymore. 
    
    It has only approx 8 miles. it doesn’t really make any noise except for the patter of your feet but i guess thats normal for Fisher Price. I lost both of my feet so it wont get into gear anymore and it stinks horribly (also because of my feet). How can a car be this bad? Im stranded here and i cant even tell the tow truck where the fuck iam because im in the MIDDLE OF A SIDEWALK. FUCK plastic cars and everything they stand for. 

    This is the worst thing to ever call itself shoegaze

      I'm not sure what kind of astroturfing bullshit is going on here, but this is the worst thing to ever call itself shoegaze. It is generic metalcore/post hardcore with tons of cheesy reverb to make it sound like post rock. It sounds like the metalcore and "post hardcore" we had to put up with everyone liking in high school, it's scene kid music. It sounds like a thousand things I've heard before, and every other "shoegaze" band ruining the scene in the last five-ish years. It isn't music for people who like Swirlies and MBV, it's music for people who like Deftones and Black Veil Brides, Avenged Sevenfold and Disturbed, As I Lay Dying and I Set My Friends On Fire. When I talk to other shoegazers we spend a lot of time complaining about music that sounds like this. My band can't even call itself shoegaze, because everyone immediately judged us and thought we sounded like one of these bands. If you even say the term shoegaze to someone now, they cringe like it physically hurts them because this stuff is so hated and reviled. It is considered the most cliche, played out, and cheesy thing that is happening right now 

      Reminds me of the time where I was haunted by centipedes

        The ‘Haunted by centipede‘ copypasta came from a comment on Reddit where a user reveals his trauma of centipede before ending the story with being edge.

        i fucking clicked on this fic faster than usains ass when i saw this update which reminds me of the time where i was haunted by centipedes when i was younger because i thought it would be funny to bURN A CENTIPEDE ALIVE when i was 14 because i was a little fuckwad but anyways that ugly creepy little fucker deserved the horrible death i gave it i even recorded it and sent it to all my friends who probably think back to that moment and wonder why the hell anyone would ever do that but i wanted to be special and shit and assert my dominance over everyone by burning a 2 inch centipede alive. but i actually hate centipedes because they remind me of my dads pet centipede he would keep in his house because my dad liked things with a bunch of legs but he was a shit caretaker so the centipede got out of its cage bcs my dad is an idiot and i was sleeping one day as a tiny little 7th grader and i feel something crawl up my hand and it's my dads fucking centipede who he named dorito because it was orange which might be the worst part bcs what kind of grown ass adult names their pet centipede dorito. anyways i screamed and my dad put her back in her cage but that was my last straw and i told my dad i wanted to stop going to his place and live with my mom which might seem like an overreaction but this fucking centipede was giant and i was crying so hard i puked. after i burned the centipede i realized i was actually the king of centipedes because everywhere i looked there would be centipedes which reminds of the time where i was alone at home trying to code this website for my schools charity drive and i wanted to go take a shit but while i was going up the stairs I SAW A CENTIPEDE ON THE WALL and i screeched so loud because this fucker was so big and i just want to let you know that house centipedes are 169300x more scary than regular centipedes bcs house centipedes have legs that fan out and that shit is the type of stuff you see in horror movies also have you seen the shining? you know that one scene where that furry sucks that man off? that traumatized me as a kid. anyways back to the centipedes i didn't really do anything but i had gathered up the courage to try and catch the centipede but i realized it was bathing and i felt kinda bad because i felt like a pervert for watching it bathe but i decided to wait for it to stop bathing but after that it started running and damn that centipede is a runner he a track star and i soon realized i was totally outmatched. i couldn't sleep for days after that. after that all my occurrences with centipedes were at my dads house where i kept having these frisky occurrences with them and one time there was a centipede right outside my door and i made my dad kill it and i was crying so hard and he told me stop being such a pussy but then he looked at the centipede and his face went white as a sheet bcs this house centipede wasnt 2 inches long, it wasn't 3 inches, it wasn't even 4 inches long. IT WAS 5 INCHES LONG which is actually crazy because i just googled it and that's literally impossible but i know what i fucking saw this centipede came right out of my nightmares like my nipples were so hard they could cut diamonds and my asshole was clenched like my life depended on it anyways my dad looked at me and i could see him debating whether or not to just leave me here but i told him not be a fucking pussy and that a grown ass man shouldn't be afraid of some centipede and plus weren't centipedes literally his thing? but anyways turns out he's ass in every way bcs he ripped 3 of the centipedes legs off and it got away and he looked and he was like aight lil bro ur just gonna have to deal bcs i can't catch this fucker and then he went to bed but i was like FUCK no so i snuck out of window and i ran to my moms house which was 3 miles away. my second encounter was when i was getting water for myself and i felt something on my foot and i look down it's this kind of smallish centipede just crawling on my foot violating me and i was like GET FUCKED because hell nah and i picked the centipede up by one of its antennae bcs it was tiny and i wasn't scared of no tiny centipede and i flushed it down the toilet and i had officially asserted my dominance over centipedes i was so proud of myself i could die. anyways i love your fic it reminds of the feeling when u really want to cum but you have to piss so you're just being edged by your own bladder this a compliment btw i love being edged

        That’s it? That’s the copypasta? That was just PORN.

          That's it? That's the copypasta? That was just PORN. I swear to fucking god I will fucking FUCK you, you fucking stupid piece of fucking shit, you think you’re so slick trying to slip in your fucking erotica on over here? Well you know what else is fucking slick? I bet your fucking boypussy is slick, all moist after you’ve gooned yourself to your masturbatory, sorry, wad of shit fuck text that you try to pass off as a copypasta. What the fuck is here to copy paste huh? What fucking dumbfuck fuck scenario am I to be in to be copypasting about just straight up fucking sex. Has AskReddit fucking rot your mind so much that the only fucking interesting thing your dehydrated testicle of a brain could come up with is just porn??? What am I suppose to do with this text, there wasnt even anything funny or absurd about it. You just talked about sex, thats it, it’s just fucking sex, it’s just fucking fuck fucking fuck you. HAHAHAHAHA tits HAHAHAHAHA dick HAHAHAHAHA damn, that was so entertaining guys, Im so entertained, god im so entertained right now, im so entertained I might start crying. Hahaha, wouldnt it be funny if I started crying guys? Guys I think that would be real funny, just collapse on the floor and turn into a slobbering mess, just cry it all out, wouldnt that be funny? God I think that would be funny. Yeah that would actually be really funny. You know what, you gave me a real good laugh OP, youre not as bad as I thought. As a thank you for that hearty chuckle, you can impregnate my sister.

          Template

          That's it? That's the MEME? That was just PORN. I swear to fucking god I will fucking FUCK you, you fucking stupid piece of fucking shit, you think you’re so slick trying to slip in your fucking erotica on over here? Well you know what else is fucking slick? I bet your fucking boypussy is slick, all moist after you’ve gooned yourself to your masturbatory, sorry, wad of shit fuck text that you try to pass off as a MEME. What the fuck is here to MEMED huh? What fucking dumbfuck fuck scenario am I to be in to be MEMEING about just straight up fucking sex. Has AskReddit fucking rot your mind so much that the only fucking interesting thing your dehydrated testicle of a brain could come up with is just porn??? What am I suppose to do with this MEME, there wasnt even anything funny or absurd about it. You just talked about sex, thats it, it’s just fucking sex, it’s just fucking fuck fucking fuck you. HAHAHAHAHA tits HAHAHAHAHA dick HAHAHAHAHA damn, that was so entertaining guys, Im so entertained, god im so entertained right now, im so entertained I might start crying. Hahaha, wouldnt it be funny if I started crying guys? Guys I think that would be real funny, just collapse on the floor and turn into a slobbering mess, just cry it all out, wouldnt that be funny? God I think that would be funny. Yeah that would actually be really funny. You know what, you gave me a real good laugh OP, youre not as bad as I thought. As a thank you for that hearty chuckle, you can impregnate my sister.

          How was this game created by human beings?

            Okay, I just had to put down my controller and write down my feelings here. I just feel this game isn’t something normal human beings living in this day and age are capable of producing. It seems like a product that was developed by extraterrestrials as a first contact attempt. I don’t game much, but as a new player playing this game blind and approximately 40 hours in, I am just in complete awe of the game design from top to bottom. I don’t even know where to start or how to phrase this post, but for most people in this subreddit, you probably know what I mean. I have lost count of the times where my jaw just dropped mouthing “what the fuh…” or my eyes just stared in utter amazement at my screen (this game is just pure dopamine on my 80 inch TV on PS5). The landscape designs, enemy designs, lore, NPC voices, names of items, the music, the sound, what have you. Nothing is better than the other. Everything is just top tier and there is clearly no skimping on delivering an almost ethereal experience. On top of this, the game performs incredibly well and there’s basically no loading screens unless you die and respawn. The only negative thing about this game is that I won’t be able to play another, ever, without expecting this level of quality.
            
            A game like GTA V being released, remastered and milked to the bone so many times seems like a crime. If FromSoftware did the same (even though they would never cheapen their brand like that), I’m sure none of us would complain.
            
            Anyway, back to playing I go…

            Using an auto is like using porn. Manual is like sex.

              Using an auto is like using porn. Manual is like sex.
              
              Sex really benefits from developing a relationship, paying attention, practice and focus. Its work.
              
              You can have sex without these qualities but the sex suffers, and so does the experience of driving a manual.
              
              When you just need to get off and not pay attention - automatic transmission.
              
              You can still have fun - especially left foot braking without a clutch, but it's designed to be convenient.