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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.

North Carolinians sure do love to complain about the weather

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    I love living in North Carolina, but man, North Carolinians sure do love to complain about the weather. They complain all summer about how hot it is, then as soon as it starts to cool off, they're already complaining about the cold, and continue to complain until it finally starts to warm up again, but then the complaints about the heat start up again, of course. There's like a 2 week window in the Spring and Fall where everyone is fairly content, and that's about it. There's also the brilliant observations about how, it started to warm up, but then got cold again. People point this out like it's some crazy thing, and "that's North Carolina for ya!" Wow! Temperatures shift here, this doesn't happen anywhere else!

    I am jealous of my girlfriend’s ex because he is better at X than me

      I am jealous of my girlfriend’s ex because he is better at Leetcode than me

      The original came from a shitpost (?) on r/leetcode which became a meme and spread everywhere.

      I am jealous of my girlfriend's ex because he is better at Leetcode than me

When I was working on the daily challenge the other day, my girlfriend saw my screen and asked me if I was Leetcoding. I was surprised because she is an archeology major and doesn't know anything about programming. She explained that her ex-boyfriend was into competitive programming and talked about it all the time. Apparently he is a Guardian on Leetcode and he even used to prepare contest problems for extra money. I feel extremely insecure now because I struggle with mediums most of the time and my rating is at 1500. My gf keeps assuring me that my low rating doesn't bother her, but everytime I am stuck in a problem I keep thinking how her ex would solve it in minutes. I just can't get the image of him easily solving LC Hards out of my head. Every time he submits a solution and gets that green AC on his screen he must smile and think how much of a loser his girlfriend's new boyfriend is. I am afraid that he raised the bar so much that I will never live up to his standard. My girlfriend will always compare him to me, and she will never be satisfied with my contest performance. Do you have any tips on how I can get better than this guy? Or do you think it's futile and I will always live under this guy's shadow?

      I am jealous of my girlfriend’s ex because he is better at Rocket League than me

      I am jealous of my girlfriend's ex because he is better at Rocket League than me

When I was playing some 2s the other day, my girlfriend saw my screen and asked me if I was playing Rocket League. I was surprised because she is an archaeology major and doesn't know anything about gaming. She explained that her ex-boyfriend was into "car soccer" and played it all the time.

Apparently, he is an SSL (Supersonic Legend) and used to do paid boosting and freestyle clips for extra money. I feel extremely insecure now because I struggle to stay in Diamond 2 most of the time and my MMR is hovering around 1000. My gf keeps assuring me that my lack of mechanics doesn't bother her, but every time I whiff an open net, I keep thinking about how her ex would have hit a triple-reset musty double tap instead.

I just can't get the image of him effortlessly air-dribbling out of my head. Every time he hits a ceiling shot and sees "Goal Scored" on his screen, he must smile and think about how much of a loser his girlfriend's new boyfriend is.

I am afraid that he raised the bar so much that I will never live up to his standard. My girlfriend will always compare his speed-flips to my awkward front-flips, and she will never be satisfied with my tournament performance.

Do you have any tips on how I can get better than this guy? Should I spend 10 hours a day in free play, or do you think it's futile and I will always live under this guy's shadow?

      I am jealous of my girlfriend’s ex because he is better at Hearthstone than me

      When I was playing some casual matches the other day, my girlfriend saw my screen and asked me if I was playing Hearthstone. I was surprised because she is an archaeology major and doesn't know anything about gaming. She explained that her ex-boyfriend was into "that card game with fish people" and played it all the time.

Apparently, he is a Top 100 Legend player and used to do paid coaching and video guides for extra money. I feel extremely insecure now because I struggle to reach Silver most of the time and my MMR is hovering around Bronze. My gf keeps assuring me that my lack of a Legend card back doesn't bother her, but every time I miss lethal, I keep thinking about how her ex would have won three turns earlier instead.

I just can't get the image of him effortlessly spotting lethal out of my head. Every time he knocks his opponent’s HP down to zero and sees "Victory!" on his screen, he must smile and think about how much of a loser his girlfriend's new boyfriend is.

I am afraid that he raised the bar so much that I will never live up to his standard. My girlfriend will always compare his quick lethals to my awkward slow concedes, and she will never be satisfied with my ladder performance.

Do you have any tips on how I can get better than this guy? Should I spend 10 hours a day in ranked, or do you think it's futile and I will always live under this guy's shadow?

      (Chess) I am jealous of my girlfriend’s ex because he is better at puzzles than me

      I am jealous of my girlfriend's ex because he is better at puzzles than me

When I was working on the daily puzzle the other day, my girlfriend saw my screen and asked me if I was practicing on Chess.com. I was surprised because she is an archeology major and doesn't know much about chess. She explained that her ex-boyfriend was into competitive chess and talked about it all the time. Apparently, he is a CM on Chess.com and he even used to commentate games for extra money. I feel extremely insecure now because I struggle with puzzles most of the time and my rating is at 1500. My girlfriend keeps assuring me that my low rating doesn't bother her, but every time I am stuck in a puzzle I keep thinking how her ex would solve it in seconds. I just can't get the image of him easily solving chess puzzles out of my head. Every time he solves a puzzle and gets that green checkmark on his screen he must smile and think how much of a loser his girlfriend's new boyfriend is. I am afraid that he raised the bar so much that I will never live up to his standard. My girlfriend will always compare him to me, and she will never be satisfied with my puzzle-solving skills. Do you have any tips on how I can get better than this guy? Or do you think it's futile and I will always live under this guy's shadow?

      Exactly, EVERYTHING is political. Like just this last weekend I was at my nephews 5th birthday party and to my horror no one was talking about ICE.

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        Exactly, EVERYTHING is political. Like just this last weekend I was at my nephews 5th birthday party and to my horror no one was talking about ICE. The clown came out and not one brilliant satirical comment about Drumph. No one was as angry as I was because during this extremely political event no one was making it about how awful America (the third world country in a Gucci belt as I like to call it) is. Finally around the time that they brought out the cake I realized that the attention wasn’t on me and I couldn’t abide spending any more time with these fascist enablers. While the crowd was singing happy birthday I just screamed “WHATS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??” And they had the nerve to ask me to leave? That’s fine, because if 9 people are at a table and 1 Nazi sits down and no one leaves there are 10 Nazis, and I honestly can’t believe that my own family including my 5 year old nephew are now just out and out full on Nazis. They just couldnt understand how political that party was.

        7 reasons why the Noble’s Slender Sword is the best weapon in the game.

          7 reasons why the Noble’s Slender Sword is the best weapon in the game.
          by u/Staehr in Eldenring 
          7 reasons why the Noble's Slender Sword is the best weapon in the game.

1 - It has the Longsword moveset, which is the best moveset. Forget those penniless pretenders with their fancy weapon arts, explosions, teleports and all that voodoo. You are nobility. Your puissance is yours alone, your weapon is just an accessory to that.

2 - It is looooong. A whole peasant's hand longer than those filthy longswords the soldiers use. Long weapons have long hitboxes. Poke your dissidents before they can dirty your attire. Then laugh at them for being poor.

3 - It gets top of the line in Dexterity scaling and takes exceptionally well to elemental infusions, for those with discriminating taste. Strength builders can even get it up to A, just please use Soap first. As if you were the type to get into fisticuffs anyway - that's what summons are for!

4 - It has 110 crit modifier, because people who parry a lot are just better than everybody else. Backstabbing, too, is very appropriate for a nobleman.

5 - It has rock bottom requirements. Even your noodly-armed Astrologers and Bandits can pick it up right away, without wasting points in Strength like a pack animal. Being an aristocrat is easy.

6 - It looks absolutely balling and is a necessity in any fashionable build. Forget the gauchely decorated Rogier's Rapier with its inhuman Dexterity requirement, it just smacks of new money. This refined, elegant weapon is coated in the timeless glamour of gold, conveying the splendor that is yours by birthright.

7 - It is an ultra rare drop from the few enemies who carry it. You can farm for hours, grinding hundreds and thousands of Nobles into paste without ever seeing it. Only the luckiest and most privileged aristocrat-killers may own this opulent deathstick. That's you. You won. Congratulations, winner.

          When I was in early school and beyblades were all the rage, some kid at school broke mine one day. I was super sad and was bawling when I got back home.

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            When I was in early school and beyblades were all the rage, some kid at school broke mine one day. I was super sad and was bawling when I got back home.

My dad was an engineer and often got up to go to work super early, like before I’d leave for school. The next morning he was still home, and sleeping. Which I found weird. My mum drives me to school, I reach into my backpack, and find my beyblade. Completely repaired, but also upgraded and modded like fkn crazy. He put a machined aluminum disc in it in place of the stock one, some centrifugal force thingamajig, and hand tooled the point that the bey blade spins on at the bottom. He had apparently stayed up till like 4am just suping my beyblade up.

At recess when we Let It Rip™️ my beyblade FUCKED UP every single other beyblade. The thing was literally indestructible, had insane balance, and kept spinning for fkn forever.

Basically, my dad is a GOAT

            A classmate smelled my seat HELP

              Part of a series of university/college shitpost that gets posted in Reddit.

              A classmate smelled my seat HELP

I’m a bcit student made a new friend in my 2nd year. We became partners. In one of our classrooms we have a massive reflective window in front of us. One time I had to go to the washroom and went out of my desk, in the reflection I saw my classmate rub the palm of his hand on the seat in a motion like he was polishing something and turned his spinning chair around and what it looks like smelled his handy?? I don’t think he knows that I’m aware. My half awake friend saw him as well and can confirm that she remembers seeing him smelling something. When I came back to my desk and saw he wasn’t there, I asked where he went out of curiosity because he’s my work partner. He said he went to the washroom. Umm what do I do in this situation