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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.


My GF won’t stop calling my penis “Danny Devito”

    I literally wish I were joking. I made a throwaway so my buddies don't see this but I've got to tell someone.

My names Dan which is probably important to the story. A few weeks ago gf and I got high together and were just chilling when she suddenly starts giggling hysterically. I ask what shes laughing at and she tells me she decided to nickname my dick. Fine, fair enough. She then goes on to say "Little Dan" was too common and the only other name she could think of was "Danny Devito".

Redditors it has been two weeks. She has not stopped calling my penis Danny Devito. She literally texted me an hour ago, and it said "How's Danny and his Devitos doing?"

And listen, it's funny. But the worst part is that I'm not sure she even knows who Danny Devito is. We were watching The Godfather and she literally thought Al Pacino was Danny Devito.

    I have been giving estrogen to my boyfriend without his knowledge, am I wrong for this?

      Hi, I am transfem and am on hormones. Recently I discovered that I’m lesbian. I love my boyfriend so much, but I can’t be with him since he is a male. I have been using my estrogen regularly, but have been setting some aside for him. I am currently refilling my estrogen once a month. I have been slipping the oral estrogen into drinks and food that I make for him, hoping to turn him into a female so I can be with him.

Hopefully this isn’t wrong, I want her name to be Emily. I can’t wait!

      Original post on Reddit

      Eu tenho dado estrogênio para meu namorado sem o conhecimento dele, estou errada por isso?

      Olá, sou transfem e estou tomando hormônios. Recentemente descobri que sou lésbica. Eu amo muito meu namorado, mas não posso ficar com ele porque ele é homem. Tenho usado meu estrogênio regularmente, mas tenho reservado um pouco para ele. Atualmente, estou reabastecendo meu estrogênio uma vez por mês. Tenho colocado o estrogênio oral em bebidas e alimentos que preparo para ele, na esperança de transformá-lo em uma mulher para poder ficar com ele.

Espero que isso não esteja errado, quero que o nome dela seja Emily. Mal posso esperar!

      I shouted Elden Ring when I finished having sex with my gf

        So you guys know how the beginning cutscene of Elden Ring has the narrator say Elden Ring in such a weird moaning way? Well and me and my brother started saying Elden Ring in that exaggerated gasping-moaning way as a joke for whenever something incredible or really sucky happened. It became a force of habit, for memes with my brother and some other friends.
Anyways I was with my girlfriend and we were having sex, and when I reached the climax, I instant connected the way the Elden Ring Guy said Elden Ring to the moan sounds and I kinda scream-moaned Elden Ring when I finished. She looked at me super weird (she doesn’t play video games at all) and left early. Did I mess up really bad? And if possible, how do I recover?

        Unidan

          Original comment by Unidan

          Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow."

Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that.

As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing.

If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens.

So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too.

Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't.

It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?

          My boyfriend’s foreplay is tetris

            I (F22) met my boyfriend (M18) on tetrio.com and have been together for 1 year. We are long-distance and communicate primarily via Discord. We are very happy together and have many interests in common, primarily Tetris. We have recently started to move our relationship forward in intimacy which has caused multiple problems.

First, his rank is higher than mine. But the thing is, I've been playing solo on my own so I'm now only 2 levels behind him. He's getting really passive aggressive about it too. ;( Second, he moans whenever he places a T-spin. It was funny at first, but now it is bothering me. He insists it "gets him in the mood." Which leads me to my next point:

Third, he cannot begin to be intimate without first winning a TetraLeague game. I am crazy in love with this man, but when we try to move further (via phone), he first must win a game (all while moaning) and makes me sit in listen. Even after he wins, when we are in the midst of foreplay, he will talk about how he "loves my tetris strategy" and refers to his dick as a "line piece entering my middle well". When he comes, he moans "ALL CLEAR".

Is this relationship worth saving? I envision a future with this man and I really love him, but I need help overcoming this hurdle in our relationship.

TLDR: my boyfriend refers to tetris in inappropriate moments. How do I make him stop?

            Women of reddit

              Le Reddit Moment
              Original comment
              WOMEN OF REDDIT,

How much sex do you have? What I am wondering if do you have sexy sex? As a fellow epic reddito I would like to inquire a question on perhaps the idea that perhaps maybe you enjoy sexual intercourse of the boob variety with fellow epic redditors that also like sex with big boobs?????

Also epic women of Reddit, how much epic sex do you have with boobs of Reddit? Women do you Women of Reddit? How many Big Chungus sex do you have women of Reddit? Women of Reddit, are you also Women? Perhaps maybe even have sex with other women and women of Reddit?

Also, fellow women of reddit do you have giant milkers?????? Big jiggly milkies? Fat mommy milky mocha momos? Excuse my up frontness. Please answer why or why not or maybe big boobs? Spaghetti?

Women of the internet website known as Reddit .com, what do you find attractive in men that are also me? Would you give me a blowjob, women of Reddit? Reddit, would you have sex with me? Women what is your favorite blowjob position? Men of Reddit, do you like getting blowjobs? Why or why not?

Women of Reddit, do you have BIG BOOBS???? Women of Reddit will you have sex with men that have big boobs? Why or why not or why yes? Women that are women of Reddit, if given a chance to use your ENORMOUS BIG BOBOS to have sex with men of reddit, would you? Perhaps maybe even have sex?

Sexy women of Reddit, is this an epic reddit women moment? Would you have sex if you were given the chance to have sex? And what if the snail was locked in a box under the ocean, but if the snail touches you you die but also have sex?? you were given a million dollars to have sex with me?? Reddit of Reddit, would you have sex with the decoy snail that is also boobs???

Women with three million dollars, if you were given a super power to have sex with me would you have sex with epic reddit? Women with giant jugs of Reddit, if you were given a billion dollars and also a ham sandwich, would you have sex with me and fellow epic women of Reddit?? What villain was actually the hero of the story?

Men of Reddit, if you were given a billion dollars would you get a blowjob from a woman with big boobs that is of Reddit? What if I choose to also have sex with this guy's dead wife that also has big dead boobs? Why? Women are boobs.

What villain actually had huge boobs and was a woman? Men of Reddit would you be a women of Reddit? Women of Reddit, will you be??? Fellow women of reddit

women
              Women of reddit(18F) , what is the most sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexies(47F)t sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexu(28F)al sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual (56M)sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexie(45m)st sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual sexual sexy sex sex sexual sexy sexual sexiest sexier sex sexual

Thing you have ever done to an antisocial 36 year old man living with his parents and spends 16 hours a day browsing reddit?

Edit: Thank you for the gold kind stranger!