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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.

Well, that’s it. I’m done. Canceling my pre order.

    A COD Zombie fan had crashout after seeing the preview of BO7 gameplay and posted this before it got removed..

    Well, that's it. I'm done. Canceling my pre order.

I just sat through the entire COD Next preview for "Ashes of the Damned" and I am actually SEETHING. What an absolute, unmitigated DISASTER of a map. This is it. This is the final proof they have zero respect for the Zombies community.
Let's talk about the complete and utter JOKE that was that "gameplay" showcase.
First of all, THE EASTER EGG. Or should I say, the LACK THEREOF. Did you notice how not a SINGLE "content creator" they flew out even ATTEMPTED a main quest step? They were just running in circles like headless chickens! You know why? BECAUSE THERE ISN'T ONE. It's a $70 MAP WITH NO SOUL. No story, no quest, no purpose. Just shoot zombies in the dark until you get bored. They literally forgot to put the main feature in the game. Are we supposed to be the playtesters now? Is that the new business model?
AND ARMOR. OH MY GOD, THEY BROUGHT BACK THE ARMOR SYSTEM. BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY DID. WARZONE ARMOR
WARZONE WEAPON RARITY
WARZONE CARS
WARZONE ZIPLINES
WARZONE F*N HUD
WARZONE
WARZONE
WARZONE ITS ALL JUST WARZONE its just WARZONE AGAIN AND AGAIN

    Midladder is the worst place on Pokemon Showdown.

      Midladder is the worst place on Pokemon Showdown.
      byu/SENSEI_BAKA instunfisk

      Its was a rant by u/SENSEI_BAKA on r/stunfisk on being beaten in midladder rank while making predictions. The community thought it was hilarious and made the rant into a copypasta. 

      Midladder is the worst place on Pokemon Showdown.

Whenever I play Pokémon showdown I sometimes like to find new formats to play to liven things up. But after the cake-walk that is 1000-1200 Elo, the people I play are suddenly the most irrational yet infuriating players I have the misfortune of matching up against. Every time I dare to attempt a play, I am randomly shut down by the dumbest play they could have made, but somehow it works out for them despite it making no sense. Yes, I am talking to you, the guy who ran HP fire on his Greninja whilst running A FUCKING RAIN TEAM. Whenever I make a prediction that makes sense given the circumstances, they completely disregard my efforts and stay in with their mon that somehow has a specific coverage move which no one else runs. But of course, if I actually try to start clicking what’s in front of me, I instantly match against the 1278 Elo gigasweat who reads even the most obscure moves I try like a fucking esper. And when I do eventually find myself in a winning position, which I often do because these players cannot form enough coherent thoughts to actually plan for any long term strategy, I am immediately haxxed by full paras from thunderbolts or getting frozen by and ice beam. It genuinely feels like Mid ladder as a whole is a living breathing organism out there with the sole purpose of causing as much anguish as possible and I do not think I have the willpower to endure it anymore.

      Fuck every iPhone user

        Fuck every iPhone user
        byu/Raven_Bubbles inandroidcirclejerk

        Its a ragebait post by u/Raven_Bubbles meant to provoke Iphone fans that was posted in the android circlejerk sub.

        Fuck every iPhone user 

I don’t even care anymore.

I’m not explaining a fucking thing.

I’m not spoon-feeding originality to people whose entire personality is a mirror selfie with a triple-camera brick. You people wouldn’t know individuality if it AirDropped itself onto your lock screen.

Then you’ll run off to gush about your “cinematic mode” like it’s Spielberg, post another 4K slow-mo of a latte, and pretend it’s art. And when someone points out Android did it first, you scream “green bubbles!” like that magically makes your half-charged Lightning cable suddenly cutting edge.

Just fuck off.

I don’t care that you think “the ecosystem” is sacred. I don’t care if a phone is “iconic.” I don’t care that your favorite slab of glass has the same design for six years straight. I don’t care about your holy Dynamic Island that’s just a hole Apple rebranded. I don’t care if you think buying a new color every September is innovation. I don’t care about your notch, your MagSafe ring, your battery pack shaped like a tumor. I don’t care that you brag about iMessage like it’s a religion while being chained to iCloud ransom storage.

I care about progress. About people who actually want new ideas, not just the same overpriced rectangle with an extra lens.

You’re the most emotionally fragile, status-starved consumers on earth. Everything hinges on your need to feel superior while waiting in line at the Apple Store for the same phone with a new wallpaper.

You want a community that claps for every recycled feature, buries criticism, and calls that “courage.” You’re not advancing tech, you’re embalming it.

You’re traitors to innovation. Archivists of stagnation. Priests of the dead-Steve cult.

Fuck off, you’re not visionaries.

EDIT: You think I’m mad because I don’t “get it?” No. I’ve been online since before the original iPhone keynote. I’ve seen Jobs actually drop jaws on stage, not just Cook read specs off a teleprompter. I’ve used phones that gave you headphone jacks, chargers in the box, and features without paywalls. So yeah, real user. Not a status junkie with a fruit logo fetish. Get fucked.

        Spaghettios

          Comment
          byu/ConsistentHospital54 from discussion
          inshitposting

          From u/Xhalo, a Redditor notorious for writing shitpost stories about eating spaghetti “spaghettios” and how it affects them. The person has been doing this for over 12 years almost daily. 

          As useful as my ex husband was as backside tongue twirling if you know what I mean (analingus). At first I praised him, it was spicy and hot like the piping hot tomato goochbutter sauce of spaghettios. But after a while it got stale. To be fair, I did develop thunderous backside voidseep due to a diet high in iron, but our vows said he would love me through thick and thin. We are divorced now. 😭😭😭
          Comment
          byu/knifefan9 from discussion
          incomedyheaven
          I was 9 months pregnant and had just downed my usual 3 bowl spaghettios lunch with a post meal spritzer of a large order of wendys chilly with extra grundlemeat chunks, and I fell asleep due to the insulin overdose hitting me at the same time a gastrointestinal spasm occured. It put me to sleep and I ended up lactating while I ran to the bathroom. I though this meme was about me 😲😲😲

          I truely think they dont grasp what Charlie’s death means for them. He wasn’t a general in an army, he wasn’t an ace fighter pilot

            Posts from the conservative
            community on Reddit
            I truely think they dont grasp what Charlie's death means for them. He wasn't a general in an army, he wasn't an ace fighter pilot that dominated the sky's, He wasn't an asset of war to be used to win battles. He was a voice... and a conduit.

The left just proved they couldnt compete with him on their own turf, with their home field advantage in simple conversation. Numerous years debating on liberal college campuses, begging for those who didnt share his values or ideas to change his mind. And now they never will be able to change his mind. They will never be able to prove or advocate their arguments anymore. In a very sad way, right as they sucker punched him, Charlie won the argument and got the last word. Because instead of changing his mind with respectable debate and fair conversation, they elected to cheat the game and resort to violence.

They thought they scratched out a MAGA champion, but I think the truth is, they silenced their own voice. Who now among their opposition will respect them and be willing to hear their words? Who now among their opposition will grant them goodwill and a shared platform. Are any conservatives going to parlay with cheaters who were enraged with hatred over a voice?

You couldnt change his mind, and now... you will never change ours.

            Turns Out Walz Lied?

              Turns Out Walz Lied?
              byu/MilitantAmbivalence inminnesota

              Its a satirical story about Tim Walz lying by u/MilitantAmbivalence on r/minnesota.

              I always considered myself to be decently informed when it comes to politics and current events, but I saw a few unflattering caricatures of Governor Walz last week at the State Fair that really had a profound effect on me and forced me to reconsider my entire worldview.

Did anyone else see the booth with the Governor Walz cartoons? I used to like the guy, but that was before I saw a drawing where they made him look like an ugly pig making a dumb face! Now I’m all like “Shut up, Pigface!” 😝

There was also a cartoon where Walz looked like the puppet from Pinocchio, and his nose was very big! If you are familiar with the story of Pinocchio, then you know what that means… 😉

There’s a famous basilica in Barcelona called La Sagrada Familia where some atheists report being so awestruck by the sheer beauty and brilliance of the architecture that they open their hearts to the possibility of a God for the first time in their lives.

I found myself similarly transformed by the Walz Lied booth. If there’s no substance behind the knee-jerk dipshit alt-right ideology, how can it possibly produce artwork so complex, deep, and profoundly moving?

Being suddenly forced to confront the reality that my entire life had been a lie was both terrifying and freeing. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I dropped to my knees as the fairgrounds began to spin around me.

When I woke up, two of the guys from the booth were giving me first aid. One of them was gently waving a ‘Walz Lied’ fan over my forehead. The other offered me a sip from a water bottle labeled ‘Liberal Tears’.

They were asking me questions. Did I know today’s date? Did I know where I was? I wanted to answer, but the words wouldn’t come out.

Finally, one of them asked, “Who’s the current Governor?”

I could feel my strength coming back.

“Tampon Tim,” I whispered meekly.

The men looked relieved. “Don’t worry,” one of them told me. “I think you’re going to be OK.”