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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.

I played undertale music when I first tried to have sex

    I played undertale music when I first tried to have sex
    byu/I_AM_A_CHAD_ insadcringe
    I played undertale music when I first tried to have sex
    
    I feel like this is sad cringe.
    
    I was like 19 at the time and I was dating this girl and she came home from college to visit her family but stopped at my place first because my parents weren't home. When she got there we started making out n stuff and she was like "let's take a shower together"
    
    I had been dating her for like two weeks and everything was all good. I was a virgin and I got really excited.
    
    We got in the shower n started kissing n stuff and she told me to put on music and since I'm a pathetic nerd I only listen to video game music. So I put on undertale music because it made me feel really good and I was hyped and I wasn't thinking about it at all.
    
    We started kissing and she seemed fine with it at first because we were juet in the moment. And then when things started to heat up the temmie shop music came on and that was it, over, done so. She stopped kissing me and said something like "is this a joke to you"
    
    And I wa.slike wtf no I'm sorry it's just a dumb song ghat came on and I tried to change it and the asriel boss music came on and at that point she was really turned off and asked if.we could get out of the shower. She went into my bedroom to dry off with the towel that we were sharing so I was standing in the shower cold holding my phone with the undertale song paused halfway through.
    
    She left after that and just ghosted me because she thought I was so weird and she texted me once happy birthday and I couldn't bring myself to respond because I felt so fucking weird and I can't even listen to the undertale music any.ore because it just reminds me of that. I literally lay awake at night wondering what would have happened if I just had asked.her for a song suggestion or something and cringe internally.
    

    I’ve been watching Jynxzi trying to beat the hellish level of Clubstep on Geometry Dash

      so I’ve been watching Jynxzi trying to beat the hellish level of Clubstep on Geometry Dash for the last week, I haven’t left the live any time just to be there to celebrate the moment of victory with him which isn’t yet achieved but eventually, so during the first day was gonna be a marathon, couple hours in I low-key get bored so I put the live in background and scrolled on my phone in the meantime, but then.. here’s where everything began, I started feeling a spike of arousal and thought of getting rid of it (ifykyk) but I didn’t want to leave the live cause what if he won in that moment? so I decided to keep it on, and went on Twitter, keep in mind I had sound on the whole time, so while jrkng I paid attention to the soundtrack of Clubstep while watching a girl ride a mofo like crazy and I thought it was so sexy.. watching her bounce to that beat drove me crazy and since then the last days I cannot stop watching inappropriate content with either Clubstep or Electrodynamix in the background, you should try it to, it’s life enhancing, also Jynxzi screaming definitely gave me a boost
      

      The Dark Secret Behind Geometry Dash, And How It Brainwashes And Manipulates Its Users

        It’s been two months since I initially shared my hypothesis that the Geometry Dash “Demons” are unbeatable by normal humans, and that everyone in the Geometry Dash Fandom has been brainwashed into thinking that they are. However, since then, I have uncovered new evidence that further supports my conjecture—although, at this point, it is less of a conjecture and more of a Demonstrable fact.
        
        First, I would like to mention that I’ve finally managed to beat Sonar after a painstakingly colossal number of Attempts. Pulling off this feat did, admittedly, restore my vigor to continue playing Geometry Dash and I had since attempted to focus on Polargeist to eventually move onto further levels.
        
        Early into my Polargeist Grind, I decided that it was of the essence to learn, once and for all, how to deal with the yellow Balls at the start. Thus, I took to YouTube tutorials to try to uncover whatever complex series of movements I had to perform to pass the yellow Ball that had impeded my progression forth in the game for so long. However, each PlayThrough I watched seemed to gloss over it, and there were no true tutorials to show me how to surmount this game-ruining issue. I began thinking that perhaps this was where the Game became Unplayable for Mobile Players. Perhaps there was some button on the Computer that would help me surpass this Ball. 
        
        Then I started wracking my mind for potential Clues. All I had noticed was this peculiar sample of Text that had appeared on my screen prior to the Ball after I had died a couple of times. However, I had decided not to read it in fear of the Text potentially spoiling the Story of the Game. But after one Redditor (in reply to my previous post) had shown an image of it in their comment, I recalled the text and read it. It told me to tap the Ring midair to Jump. However, this only brought about more questions: what Ring? There was a Ball in the air, but no Ring in sight. Was this Text referring to something else?
        
        It was only after myriad Attempts of Trial and Error that I realized that the Ball *was* the Ring. I still do not Know why the Ball is called a Ring, but I now know to tap it midair to jump (I still think it’s bad Game Design to have the Jump Tap do two completely different Things, but I digress). 
        
        Slowly but surely, I made progress in Polargeist until I could reliably (about 5% of the time) make it 10% into the Level. However, one fateful day my upward progress went sour with disquieting haste. I was sitting near a Lake and trying to best Polargeist, and my spirits were high. Abruptly, my inner Cube took control and I made an incredible run after 5,000 attempts, making it 25% into the level. However, wretchedly, there was a Fake Orb at that point, and when I, a foolish Player far too willing to trust the Design of the Game, clicked it, I was sent reeling into spikes on a floating wall. Dashed were my dreams of beating Polargeist that day, and I must admit that I threw my Phone into the Lake out of pure fury. Thus, my progression was further occluded due to the absence of my Means to Play the Game.
        
        Three weeks later, I re-downloaded the Geometry Dash after getting a new Phone and looked, utter horror pervading my conscience, as I saw that I had forgotten to save my Account before getting that superlative run on Polargeist, or even any of my runs surpassing the dreadful Ball. Thus, as can be seen in the Image attached, I was back to Square One.
        
        I instantaneously shut down the Game after this. Everything I had spent days and days working on was Forsaken, and I was back to a measly 1%. Some people might even think I was Bad at the Game if they saw.
        
        This is what brings me to what I’ve come to rant about. Even the most oblivious, bovine Geometry Dash players can notice that there are some lucidly Immoral scandals occurring within the bounds of the Game—there’s even a Leaderboard for which Players possess the highest amount of CP. But it’s not just that. The Entire Game is Designed to be malicious towards the Players, tricking them at Every Turn. That way I died in Polargeist was not an innocuous Game Mechanic. Balls aren’t supposed to kill you; they’re supposed to help you Jump. I was tricked by the Game into a sense of comfort with the yellow Balls only to have my run coldly driven into the nearby spikes. And I feel like that’s the Paragon of this Game’s essence; the Player’s trust is sacrificed in order to grant them a cheap death.
        
        This is what causes distrust among the community, thereby resulting in the lies and brainwashing that make everyone fabricate stories of Beating “Demons” when no one truly has or ever will. The Game is built around this Distrust; that’s why it’s so prevalent in the community. Supposed “Demons Beaters” like those “Zoinks” and “Doggy” fellows that I have heard mentioned haven’t truly Beaten “Demons”—none of us have.
        
        We’re all pawns in the Geometry Game, I think, to sum it up. What do you all think? Do you agree with my overarching proposition?
        

        No Future for this nigga

          No Future for this nigga
          byu/IOPERTYS inplayboicarti

          By u/IOPERTYS, its another banger post from r/playboicarti sub in 2021 which had become a meme.

          My little brother is a god damm fucking loser this man has no life he stinks he is musty he doesn't take showers he wakes up every day in the morning and the first thing he does is get on a call with his friends NO SHOWER NO BRUSHING HIS TEETH nigga STINKS this niggas teeth is so messed up like they going LEFT AND RIGHT it's like his teeth are throwing gang signs THEY ARE YELLOW NIGGA LIKE BUTTER, nigga goes to school to try to fight girls he a Gay ass nigga and he denying it to NIGGA FINGERS HIMSELF, HE SHOWS HIS SMALL PP FOR BOYS ON CALL, HE TWERKS FOR BOYS NIGGA FAILING ALL HIS CLASSES, this nigga a failure he not making it nowhere in life I'm just being real

          I propose to change the name of the game to “Book Producer Simulation”.

            By u/BigPapa9921, its a satirical post on how Europa Universalis V turns into a book management simulator due to the demand curve for books.

            The real challenge in EU5 isn’t learning the supply demand cycle, or figuring out whether levies or regulars are better, or understanding how the fucking frontage works. It’s not about juggling coalitions or keeping a vassal swarm alive. It’s not trying to raise crown power without collapsing your nation.
            
            The real challenge is BOOK PRODUCTION for fucks sake.
            
            Everything is going well. Economy is good, techs are advancing, people and estates are happy.
            
            But then suddenly:
            
            MISSING GOODS (BOOKS)
            
            No matter what I do, I cannot satisfy my people's endless, unholy love for reading. I’ve got scriptoriums everywhere, from my 3,000 person village to my 150,000 population big-ass city.
            
            My people won’t shut up, they’re all demanding to read “Agricultural Techniques for Idiots (1410 Edition) VOL III.” in their own obscure local dialect.
            
            And I can’t provide it.
            
            What am I, a bad king?
            
            Are the clerics in my scriptoriums writing one page every three months? Why aren’t they working?
            
            No, no.
            
            The real problem is those bastard goblin BURGHERS.
            
            The moment I produce books, before they reach my people, the Burghers snatch them away and brag:
            
            “Bro I sold all your books to the Lithuania for 0.02 ducats profit each. Guess I’m a trade genius huh?”
            
            Universities are starving, libraries are empty. They are all screaming
            
            "Sire, we cannot “think”. The Burghers sold our textbook"
            
            "Milord, we finished an whole sentence in just one week, but those Burghers took it from us"
            
            I’m not ruling an empire anymore.
            
            All I do is library management.
            
            My life goal now is to keep the medieval PDF industry alive.
            
            Millions must read, millions must become literate...
            

            There is genuinely nothing on this godforsaken website that makes me want to throw my laptop out a window more than programming memes.

              By u/Consistent_Equal5327, it was a rant on low effort programmer humor in Reddit. The original post had been removed by mods but the rant was copy and pasted in the comment and r/copypasta sub.

              There is genuinely nothing on this godforsaken website that makes me want to throw my laptop out a window more than programming memes. I'm talking seething, irrational hatred.
              
              "Spent 6 hours debugging, it was a missing semicolon haha"
              
              WHICH FUCKING COMPILER ARE YOU USING THAT DOESN'T TELL YOU THIS IMMEDIATELY? Show me. I want receipts. Every compiler since the dawn of time will scream at you "EXPECTED SEMICOLON ON LINE 23 YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKFACE" the second you try to run it. Your IDE is highlighting it in red. Your linter is having an aneurysm. How is this supposed to be relatable?
              
              "Haha I can't exit Vim"
              
              Oh fuck off. Fuck ALL the way off. You know what every terminal has? A CLOSE BUTTON. An X in the corner. Alt+F4. Task manager. You have OPTIONS. And even if you wanted to do it properly, :q takes literally one second to Google. This is besides the fucking fact that any of those guys will never ever use vim.
              
              "JavaScript == vs ===" with some galaxy brain meme
              
              This is in every single JavaScript tutorial ever written. This is not obscure knowledge. This is page 1 of learning the language. Why are we acting like this is some mind-blowing gotcha?
              
              "Works perfectly for months, adds one comment, everything breaks"
              
              NO IT DOESN'T. COMMENTS DON'T BREAK CODE. THAT'S NOT HOW COMPUTERS WORK. Unless you're writing in some fucked up esolang, comments are ignored. This literally cannot happen.
              
              These are just examples I can think of at the moment. But all of them are near same stupidty.
              
              The thing that drives me absolutely fucking insane is that these memes get THOUSANDS of upvotes. THOUSANDS. And they're not funny. They're not relatable. They're not even based in reality. They're just the same tired bullshit regurgitated by people who either don't actually code or learned everything they know from other memes.
              
              For something to be funny it needs to have SOME connection to actual reality. I hate them so much. Every time I see one I age 5 years. My blood pressure spikes.
              
              I keep seeing them. Every day. Same jokes. Different template. Over and over and over like some kind of hell specifically designed for me.
              
              Anyway I'm going back to debugging. It's 2 AM and I can't find the missing semicolon (in Python btw).