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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.

Re-Logic, we need to talk.

    By u/DraXi0n, its a joke on the Quality of Life (QoL) improvements on Terraria 1.4.5 update.

    After seeing the 1.4.5 trailer, I noticed something: my heart. It wasn't thumping the same way it was before. Before, just seeing the Guide or the Angler made my heart race. But now, I feel nothing. All of this has made me realize:
    
    Terraria doesn't feel the same anymore. It doesn't feel like Terraria.
    
    Back in my day, the game had soul. But now, it has quality of life. What's Terraria without having to scroll through the shitty crafting menu for 30 seconds?
    
    And don't even get me started on the new dungeon designs. How are we supposed to enjoy Skeletron if we don't have to spend an hour building an arena for him? It's already built for us? Disgusting.
    
    Just look at Minecraft villages. Those videos where builders rebuild the village to be more detailed sure are impressive, but the new villages just don't have the SOUL that the normal, shitty ones have.
    
    I can't believe I have to say this, but, Re-Logic, I'm concerned. The game is getting way too accessible for new players, and way too fun. The only way I think this update can be salvaged is by adding Ocram back.
    
    Stay strong, Terrarians. We will win this.

    If Arsenal wins the Champions League, my life is over.

      After watching yesterday's game, I was filled with nothing but anger and disgust at what this sport has become. I couldn't sleep at all, I kept getting jolted awake by the thought of Gabriel lifting the Champions League trophy. I keep throwing up uncontrollably thinking about those priviliged Arse scum and that Spanish rat doing a parade around London with a shiny new Champions League trophy. The worst thing is, the sheer arrogancy and delusion by their fans all over the Internet would reach an all-time high, I honestly don't think I can handle it at all. I tried reaching out to a therapeut but the cunt just laughed in my face. I honestly think I could end it all if Arsenal wins the UCL, my life could never be the same knowing that disgusting horrendous filthy cheating club would be crowned as the kings of Europe. My life is genuinely over. I hope you are happy Arteta, this is all your fault you Spanish slick-haired asshole.

      I would like to preface this by saying, yes , I am a reddit mod.

        Being a reddit mod is one of the hardest jobs in the world
        byu/maanu123 inTrueOffMyChest
        I would like to preface this by saying, yes , I am a reddit mod.
        
        And yes. I have received threats of violence. I have received death-threats. I have been the victim of doxxing attempts.
        
        Why? Is it because I simply hold a position of power? Is it because I am not afraid to EXERCISE this power to curtail reddiquette violations, as is my duty?
        
        Whatever the reason, over my years of reddit moderatorship, I can safely say that there is a MENTAL TOLL taken on me. This is a mentally exhausting position, and I would not wish it on anyone in the world. Being a mod has me close to tears sometimes. The damage it has done to my relationship is insurmountable, I have had to open up my 4 year relationship with my lady in order to let her needs be fulfilled while I am busy keeping my subreddit safe from trolls, bigots, and spambots.
        
        It's just... I need a break sometimes. That's all.

        DeAndre Ayton

          From a Redditor ‘Nykeeo’ who often shitposts about DeAndre Ayton from LA Lakers.

          Ah thanks OP I was waiting to see another post about Ayton because the other night I was watching the Lakers with my girlfriend and I tell her as a joke that we should make a little challenge.
          Every time Ayton gets a rebound she has to say something she finds attractive about him.
          I thought it would be funny and maybe feed my macho ego a little.
          
          Brother that ego evaporated fast 🤣 And that also happened in the 1st half vs the spurs!
          
          At first she goes yeah he is tall. Normal. Whatever. Then a minute later she goes wow his shoulders though.
          Then she adds his hands look strong in a way that made me put my chips down because suddenly they tasted like insecurity.
          
          By the third quarter she is leaning forward talking about his presence and how he moves and I start feeling weirdly warm. Not jealous warm. More like confused warm. Like I suddenly became very aware of how Ayton also has nice shoulders and maybe I should hit the gym or maybe I should examine my entire identity.
          
          At one point she says if I saw him in real life I would probably stare and I swear I caught myself staring too and thinking yeah honestly same.
          
          The game ended and she asked if I was ok and I said yeah yeah of course I am fine I am a strong confident heterosexual man while Googling Ayton highlights in another tab like a man trying to understand his own spirit animal.
          
          And the twist is that the next morning she texts me saying she dreamed that I got dunked by Ayton and he told me nice form and I woke up feeling proud and strangely disappointed that it was not real... because man.. I really , secretly want to get bodied by him.
          

          hello slimes i am a 23 year old female who desperately wanting a young slime baby to slatt with

            hello slimes i am a 23 year old female who desperately wanting a young slime baby to slatt with but the only problem is no real thugger wants to get me pregnant as i am not very “traditionally attractive” then i woke up like this with a fantastic idea. who’s the perfect slime to impregnate my young uterus? i realized carti himself would be perfect!! he’s so cute and handsome and has an amazing baby voice which means our child will have a sexy baby voice as well! so my plan is to get help from y’all to get cartis attention so he can donate me some of his semen or i could pay for it (willing to offer $20k) for me to load into my cooter and hopefully give me my own little onyx please help carti notice me bros! i desperately need this. peace and love my fellow slimes stay slatt-y +* 

            No. Big A would’ve avoided the whole Nick Shirley discourse if chat were there to tell him it was poor journalism.

              Comment
              byu/TheRogueTemplar from discussion
              inatrioc
              No. Big A would've avoided the whole Nick Shirley discourse if chat were there to tell him it was poor journalism. YouTube frogs don't understand how important us chatters are for maintaining the sanctity of the clips. We're like the sauce to Big A's cheese. Sure, you can have a sauceless pizza, but it's just not the same without it. You could even argue that it's not pizza at all.
              
              Now, you might be wondering why I used a pizza analogy instead of a glizzy one, which would be a lot more topical. Well, the answer is that Big A Clips viewers don't care about glizzies. They don't care about coffee or S3K. They don't even care about bloons. All they care about is politics slop, which is why they want to cut us chatters out of the equation. They're heathens who don't understand our glizzy culture. They love the house built by glizzy hands, yet hate that glizzy hands watches House.
              
              The tyrannous Aedish has already forced Big A to step away from his community to appease the clips viewers, and now they want to strip away the last bastion of glizzy jokes so that they don't have to be reminded of where all of this started. They hate seeing a bald joke fly by in chat. They hate seeing a glizzy, or a coffee cow, or cow forbid a spoontrioc mention amidst the mountains of slop. They carry hate in their hearts and want every last remnant of us burned to the ground. They're so deluded that they don't even recognize the Lulw Master. These are the types of people that think Big A is better without his chat.
              
              The ironic thing is that once they succeed, if they succeed, it won't be long before they realize that sauceless pizza is lame as fuck. But by that point it'll be too late, as they've already thrown out the sauce, and they won't know how to ask for a delicious glizzy and a warm cup of coffee instead.
              
              TLDR: glizzy good, chat good, clips bad