Skip to content

You Kids had It Easy

    Tell you kids, back in my day, we had it so rough... or so much better, i can't tell anymore. anyway, every day, we would wake up at 2 in the morning and go to the table for breakfast. we all lived in a closet, you see, so it was one room. and we would ask, me and my 64 brothers and 27 sisters, "what's for breakfast mum?". she would smack us all with a shoe and say "cold beans". and if we complained and said "but we had cold beans yesterday" - because we had cold beans every day - she would smack us all five times with a shoe and say "tough its all we can afford. i'm trying to feed a family of 93 with just half a silver buckington", a silver buckington was about the same as half a penny back in the day. then we would head to school. we met up with the johnson kids from down the road, and walked the 1674 miles to school. on the way to school, we had to walk up a mountain so tall it extended to outer space. when we got to the top of the mountain, we would see the peterson boys on their fancy bikes - which they dont make like they used to, and we would race them down the mountain. then, when we got to school at 4 in the morning, the headmaster would come up to us and say "you bloody kids are late", then he would smack us all with the cane 10 times and tell us we had 7 years of detention. then, we went to class, and mr stevenson would say "ok line up kids", then he would spank us each 60 times, then hit us each with the cane 40 times each. then it was 7 at night and we had to walk home. then, when we got home, we'd ask "whats for dinner mum?", and she'd smack us each 50 times with a pan and say "rotten cabage". and if we complained, she would smack us each 100 times with a broom and say "im trying to feed a family of 154 on just one islet sliver, just you wait until your dad gets home" - now an islet silver was worth about as much as a grain of sand. then, when our dad got home from his job at the soot factory, he would hit us all 180 times with his belt. if we had been naughty, we would hit us all another 600 times. then, at 1:58, mum would say "ok time for bed". then, we got into our potato sacks, and she would hit us each with a shoe 8 times before we went to sleep. on saturdays, we went down to uncle bob's farm to work. we would have to walk 345 miles to the bus stop, then catch the route 4 bus for 56 stops. we would get on the bus and pay our fare of 3 teddy roses - now a teddy rose is worth about the same as a flake of skin. then, if the ticket inspector came to us, he would hit us all 4 times with his baton. if any of us had lost our ticket, we would hit us all 10 times again and throw us off the bus and we had to walk the rest of the way. when we got to the farm, uncle bob would drive to the gate in his tractor, hit us all 780 times with his crowbar, and tell us to get in his trailer so he could drive us to the farm house. then, we had to plow the fields with a toothbrush in the blazing summer heat - now, they dont make summers like they used to, so it was about 1345.4 degrees spencer, or 67 degrees centigrade using your new-fangled metric system. then, we would have to milk the cows - now, they dont make cows like they used to, so each cow weighed about 459 hog's heads, or 3.2 tonnes in your new-fangled metric system. if you touched a cows udder, it would kick you and you would die, so you had to be really careful when you milked the cows. then, when we were done, uncle bob would say "ok kids time for your pocket money". he would give us each 9 copper jemimahs - which are worth about one political promise each - and beat us each 6 times with his tractor before we left. on sundays, we would meet the johnson boys and go down to the river - now, they don't make rivers like they used to, so this river was about as wide as the whole of america, and as deep as the marianas trench, and it was filled with liquid tungsten. we would play by the old oak tree near the river, climbing on it and building tree houses and such. now - they don't make trees like they used to, so this tree had a trunk as thick as a city, and was tall enough that the branches on the top could scrape the moon. one day, little jimmy fell from the top of the tree. when he hit the ground, the only bit of his body we could recognise was his left eyeball. we picked up all his bits and rushed him to the doctors surgery. dr james said "oh its just a scratch little jimmy dont worry pop a plaster on it and you'll be right" and he gave little jimmy a plaster and a lollipop and he was ok. after we finished playing by the river, we would go into town and get some candy. now, back in the day, you could give the shopkeeper one bronze winglet - which is worth about as much as a ciggarette butt - and he would give you the entire stock of the store. so we would go and get our candy, and we'd go into the town square and eat it. now, we didn't have any of your fancy food laws back in the day, so there was all kinds of stuff in our candy. bleach, rust, bones--you name it. so we would always get a little hyper after our candy. one day, when we were hyper, we went up the mr boris's car, the only car in the town, and touched it. as we touched it, we saw dad storming down the street holding his belt. "you kids, having fun while i work all day in the soot factory just so you can have grilled water for tea every night, i oughta smack you all". we were sure he was going to smack us, but then he said "no, i got a better idea, ill take you to see mr henderson, he'll set ya right". now, dad had told us about mr henderson. mr henderson was a veteran from the great war, where he got a really bad injury, but we never knew what it was. dad walked us all down to the pub, and we saw a left testicle propped up on a pegleg. "mr henderson," said dad, "i have some kids here who need a good whooping". then, mr henderson picked up the entire pub, and hit us each 4006 times with it. then, dad said "right, i gotta go back to the soot factory, you kids run on home now". now, by now it was 1pm, which meant it was curfew. while we were walking out of the town square, we heard a man shout "oi you bloody kids, its curfew". we turned around and saw the constable holding his baton. he hit us each 160265 times with his baton, then put us in gaol for 60123865 years. now - they don't make gaols like they used to - this one had 5 mile thick steel walls, and a single hole in the top let in some light. we were in there for about 13526 years, until mum baked the constable some cardboard pie so he would let us out. then, she hit us all 1292 times with a washboard, and grounded us for the rest of our lives. so don't you come complaining to me about nonsense like not having tv while hiking 25 miles to school.

    IS THAT MOTHERFUCKING JJK REFRENCE‼️‼️

      ‼️‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT ‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT MOTHERFUCKING JJK REFRENCE‼️‼️❗❗‼️⚠️⚠️😱😱🫣😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😱😱😱😱😱😶‍🌫️🫣😱😱 GOJO IS THE BESTT IN ALL ANIME VERSEEE🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯 GOJO IS SO FUCKING BADASS😎😎😎😎 HE WILL RETURN IN THE CHAPTER 42069 AND SAY RYOIKIE TENKAII🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯 EXPAND HIS DOMAIN ON FRAUDKUNA AND SAY ARE YOU THE STRONGEST BECAUSE YOU ARE THE SOCCREROR OF THE HIEAN ERA OR YOU ARE THE SOCCREROR OF THE HIEAN ERA BECAUSE YOU ARE THE STRONGEST AND HE SHOOT HIS HOLLOW LIME 🟢🟢🟢💲💲💚💚♻️♻️🌲🌲♻️💚♻️♻️♻️💲♻️🌲🟢♻️💲♻️♻️💚♻️💲🌲🟢♻️🟢🌲🟢♻️♻️🌲♻️💚♻️💚♻️♻️💚♻️💚♻️🌲🌲🟢💲♻️♻️💚💚💚🟢💚🟢💚🟢🟢💚🟢💚🟢💚🟢💚🟢💚🟢AND SAY YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO YOWAIMO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😎😎🤣🤣😎🤣🤣😎🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😎😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎🤣😎 TO WHICH SUKUNA HONEST REACTION 😭😭🫣🫣🫣😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😱😱😱😭😭🤯🤯😳😳😳🤯🤯🤯 AND WHEN HOLLOW LIME HITTED FRAUDKUNA HIS FOUR ARMS FELL OFF AND THEN GOJO SAID STAND PROUD FRAUDKUNA YOU ARE WEAK😎😎😎😎😎😎🤣🤣🤣😎😎😎😎TO WHICH FRAUDKUNA REPLIED YOU SHOULD AIMED FOR THE HEAD🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿AND REGROWS HIS ARMS IN 0.002 SEC TO WHICH GOJO REPLIED : WITH THIS SACRED TREASUR I SUMMON THE ONE WHO LEFT ALL BEHIND OVERWHELMING INTENSITY BECAUSE THROUGH OUT THE HEAVENS AND EARTH ALWAYS BET ON HAKARI BECAUSE WE ARE THE EXCEPTION TO WHICH FRAUDKUNA SAID NAH I'D WIN 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿 AND AS FRAUDKUNA ABOUT EXPAND HIS DOMAIN ITADORI APPEARED FROM THE BUSHES AND ATTACK SUKUNA FROM BEHIND WHICH HE LEARNED THE BUSHE CAMPER YUTA ( THE KING OF CURSES IKYKYK😈) AND ITADORI SAYS LEFT ◀️◀️◀️◀️◀️ AND RIGHT ▶️▶️▶️▶️SLEEP TIGHT 💤💤💤🛌🛌🛌💤💤AND PUNCHES THE FRAUDKUNA WITH BLACK FLASH 69 TIMES IN A ROW WITHIN 0.2 SEC AND AS SUKUNA WAS NEARLY DEAD ITADORI SAID TO FRAUDKUNA I AM YOU AND PUNCHES THE LAST BLACK FLASH UP HIS ASS AND SAID NAH I WONED🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿😎😎😎😎😎😎🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🗿🗿🤣🗿🗿🤣😎🤣🗿😎🗿🗿🤣🗿🤣🗿😎😎😎🤣🤣🗿🤣🗿😎🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀💀💀💀🤣🤣🗿🤣🗿💀🤣💀😎🤣🗿🤣🤣💀🤣💀🤣

      Super Bowl

        ‼️LETS GOOO 🏈 SUPER 🏈 BOWL 🏈 2024 🏆🥇🙌🏅 EVERYONE 👫👭👬 IS GETTING LUCKY 🍀🎰 IN VEGAS TONIGHT 🎰😩💦 IT WAS A CLOSE MATCH 🏈 ALL THE GIRTHY 💪STRONG💪 SWEATY 🥵 MEN 👬JUST CAME 💦 AND RUBBED EACH OTHER DOWN 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS 🎰 STAYS IN VEGAS🎰❓⁉️NOT THE 69RS LOSS BUT THE GAY 🏳️‍🌈LOCKER ROOM🧼 ORGY WILL STAY ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 FOUR QUARTERS? 🤷‍♂️NO🙅‍♂️ THE MEN JUST COULDNT🔥 🔥 GET ENOUGH OF EACH OTHER 😛 THEY HAD TO GO ONE ☝️MORE ❤️‍🔥ROUND TOGETHER🫶🫶 IN OVERTIME🫃🫃LOOKS 👀 LIKE THE 69RS CHOKED 🍆ON THE CHIEFS DICKS 🍆 IN OVERTIME 🫣SEND THIS ‼️ TO SOMEONE ‼️YOU WANT TO 🙌🙌TOUCH UP 👆AND DOWN 👇IF YOU GET 1️⃣ ☝️BACK THEY ARE KICKING🦵🏈 A FIELD GOAL🏈💦 BETWEEN YOUR LEGS😩✌️ IF YOU GET FIVE 5️⃣ BACK THE CHIEFS ARE RUNNING A TRAIN🚂 IN YOUR ASS 🍑 IF YOU GET 🔟 THEN YOU 🫵 GET TO JOIN TAYLOR SWIFT 👩‍🦰🎤 AND TRAVIS KELCE 🧔‍♂️ IN THEIR VANILLA JET SEX🛩️ ON THEIR WAY TO PUSSYLAND 🐈 🍑
        Happy Super HOLE day 🏈😈 my slutty footBALLers. Will it be the KansASS 🍑City QUEEFS 💨 or the Sin FranciscHOE 69’ers🍆🍆. Big Dick 🍆 DEEPHO Samuel or Ronnie BALLS His Seed 💦🌰. Will Patrick Mahomes penetrate MaHOLE 🕳️ or will Kadarius BONEme asshole 😩😩🍑.

Will BAElor 💃Swift get her PUSSY 😻popped🍾 by SLUTTY Kelce’s TIGHT🍑 END or will the 69’ers ♋️69her? Fly your private jet ✈️to your living room swifties to find out who can guzzle 🍻more BALLS 🏈 and touch down-there most.

So let’s all slurp down some weiners 🌭🌭 and guzzle some beer. Enjoy the QUEEFS penetrating the endZONE 😩😩and the 69ers Blitzing the A-Hole ❌🙅‍♀️🕳️. No matter who CUMZ out ON TOP 😏 we will all be satisfied upon CUMpletion💦💦. Send this to 10 of your best BALL BOYZ 🏈🏈😏 or you will be flagged for roughing the ASSER 😜😜😜.
        Goooood ✌🏻morning 🌞 FOOTBALL 🏈 FANS👨‍👩‍👦‍👦!!! Tonight 🌚 is the CHAMPIONSHIP 🏆 game in Super Bowl 🥣 LV (5️⃣5️⃣) between👉🏻👈🏻 the Kansas City 🌃 Chiefs👳🏾‍♀️ and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers🏴‍☠️ !!! Coverage comes to us LIVE from CBS 📺 with kickoff 🦵🏻 at 1830 🕡 but you’re invited📩 to come 😩💦over anytime after 1700 🕔 for pregame watching 👀!!! BYOB 🍻🥃 and an app 🍱 to share (but NO popcorn 🚫🍿I bought 🤑too much 😟and need it eaten)!!! Bring some dollars💸 and/or venmo 📲 to partake in some Super Bowl 🥣 Squares 🟥🟨🟥⬛️and other prop bets 🎰 if you’re interested 🤔💡in spicing 🌶 🥵 things 🆙 !!!
        Happy Super HOLE day 🏈😈 my slutty footBALLers. Will it be the KansASS 🍑City QUEEFS 💨 or the FILTHadelphia KEGELS 🍆🍆. Big Dick 🍆 Nick Sirianni or Andy Plant His Seed 💦🌰 Reid. Will Patrick mahomes penetrate MaHOLE 🕳️ or will Jalen Hurts my asshole 😩😩🍑.

Let’s CHECK OUT 😏😏 the rosters. On the Kegels we got:

Dallas GoSQUIRT 💦 Landon BIG DICKerson🍆 Lane GIRTHY Johnson🍆😏 Fletcher MONSTER COX😛🍆 Josh SweatTY BALLZ 💦🥜🏈 Darius Slay MYbunz 🌭🌭

On the Queefs we got:

Isiah Pachec-Ho 🙊 Creed HUMPhrey😛😛 BIG Willie Gay 🍆🍆 Kadarius HOEney 😝😜 Andrew WILLIE Wylie 🍆🍆 Juan PORNhill 😅💦😩

Let’s not forget about the sHOEdown between the Kelce Sluts. Travis with the TIGHT END 🍑🍑😏 and Jason who loves touching BALLS 😩🏈🏈.

So let’s all slurp down some weiners 🌭🌭 and guzzle some beer. Enjoy the QUEEFS penetrating the endZONE 😩😩and the Kegels Blitzing the A-Hole ❌🙅‍♀️🕳️. No matter who CUMZ out ON TOP 😏 we will all be satisfied upon CUMpletion💦💦. Send this to 10 of your best BALL BOYZ 🏈🏈😏 or you will be flagged for roughing the ASSER 😜😜😜.
        Happy SLUTTY super bowl!🏈💦Send this to 🔟of your closest BALL lovers🍆❤️ if you want to suck the ram daddies😈😈 or the baddie bengals 🤤😲 Make sure to watch the CUMmercials📺🍼and have a HOLEy🍑 Sunday😈 😇

        Valentines Day

          👋🏻HEY👋🏻 YOU seXXXy💋 LITTLE😫 💃🏼💃🏼SLUTS💃🏼👅‼️‼️📆Today📆 is 💥FUCKUARY 14TH💥 which means👨🏻DADDY CUPID💘💘 is 💦cumming💦 for you⚠️‼️‼️ He’s been ✊🏼YANKING✊🏼😩on his bow🏹 and arrow💘 all night😖 getting ready to 🎯shoot😩👅💦 all over you 😱😩🤣😜😘😍🍆🍆💦💧 so Daddy Cupid draw 🔙 your bow 🏹and let that 💦🤣CUM FLOW➡️👅 💦 ‼️This day only 💦CUMS💦 once a year 📅so ❌rip off❌ your 👗clothes👙 and JUMP 👏🏻ON 👏🏻THAT👏🏻 GOOD 👏🏻DICK!😂😩💗 🙏🏻Saint🙌🏻 Valentine💕🌹 is the 💞SLUTTIEST 👄Saint there is, so 👈🏻spread👉🏻your holy 🙌🏻bible ⬅️wide➡️ to take everything 😵😬😍😆he’s got🙏🏻. 💌☄️SEND💌to 5 💄VALENHOES💋so 👉🏻you👈🏻 can get 😫🤗OFF😊 tonight 👍🏻😵😜❤️💕‼️ if you 😵DON'T😵 you’ll be 👎🏻STUCK ❌without❌ 😖CHOCColate🍫🍫 or 🥖long😩🍆thicc😱🍆 🌹PLOW-HERS🌷🌷for the next 6️⃣9️⃣ YEARS!!!! 😱😭😵😫😜😂😂
          What's 🆙⬆my SLUTS😈❤💦? ? I know 🎉🎈TWENTY DICKSTEEN🎊🎉 just started ⏰✔ BUT 💘FUCKuary 👉👌 is cumming 💦💦up s👀n so grab 💋💋 those sexy 🔓singles and stick some 🌷🌷flowers in that vase 😈of yours and let 😇CUPID😇 stick his 💘💘arrows inside 👌 uuu Send 💌💌this to 1🅾 of your sweet 👅lollipops 🍭🍭if u get 🅾🅾back you're single this Valentines day💔💔 if u get 🅾5 back you're a Saint 💕💖Valentines Slut 💋💓 if you get 1🅾 back you get 😇😇💖💘 Cupids 😇 cute COCK🍆💦💖👉👌 tonight hurry up 🕛🕧🕐🕜🕝time to get that FRESH😈😙 Valentine love 💕😇🍆💦💦💦
          Know 👀🤓 what 🤨 day 🗓️ it is💥 today📆❓ it 😶 is ✊🏻 valentines 🙊😻 day 😍🤪👅💋❤️ let's 🙌🏻 get pegged 🤭😳🍆🚼 in the ass 🍑🍌🔞 today 🙊 so that 😳 we 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏼‍♂️ are unable 🌝 to walk 👨🏼‍🦽 all 💯 month 🗓️👅. And 👀 if you 🙋🏻‍♀️are alone 😩😳😭 today 📆, think 💭 of your 😊 special 😲😍 someone 🤩 and 💲wank 😜✊🏻off 😫💦 Just know 🤓 that you 🙋🏼‍♂️ are 💥 loved ❤️🧡❣️💕💞💖💖💘💝
          To the TAKEN HOES 💍😛 and the SINGLE SLUTS 💃🏻💅🏼, it’s VALEN-TIME to SLURP 😩💦, FUCK 🌮⬅️🍆, & SUCK 💦‼️🔥 that dumb bitch CUPID 💘🙊 is gonna be shooting 👀 his arrows 🏹 into some bussy 👌🏼 and coochie 🍪 TODAY‼️ If you wanted to get some SWEET 🍬 LOVING 😻 or some ROUGH FUCKING 💦🍆😩, you need to tell his BITCH ASS EXXXACTLY 😤 what you WANT 💁🏻‍♀️💯👅. TELL HIM you want to SUCK 👅💦 your crush 😍 like a yogurt tube 🍦🤤 and get RAILED 🛤 sideways ➡️ TELL HIM you want to be SWIMMING 🏊🏻‍♀️ in those YUMMY CUMMIES 🤤💦 and RIDING that DICK 🍆😩 ALL NIGHT LONG 🌙🌃. Send this 💌 to 🔟 of the DIRTIEST HOES YOU KNOW 🙋🏻‍♀️ if you want Cupid to help you get RAWED for V-DAY 💕😩 if you get less than 3️⃣ back, Cupid said your coochie 🌮 AINT TASTYYY 😩👎🏼❌ if you get 6️⃣ back, eXXXpect to get some DICK for DINNER 🍆🌮🍽 if you get more than 9️⃣ back, you BETTER BE READY 😤 to get FUCKED IN 6️⃣9️⃣ DIFFERENT WAYS TONIGHT 😏😛 HAPPY VALENTINES DAY BITCHES 🔥✌🏼💕
          PUSSY 💦💦 IS RED 🔥💋 BALLS 🏀⚽️💦😩😩 ARE BLUE 💙➿➿ IF HE BUSY 👤💼💼 ON VALENTINES DAY 🌹💖❣HIS SIDE HOE 👀👅🍆 IS YOU👊😴😴😫 SINCE V DAY 💝💜 IS CUMMING 💦💦GET THAT V READY 😏👅👅 FOR A GOOD SQUIRT 💦💦👀 FROM DADDY 😏😩 CUZ CUPID 👼🏼 GETTIN DEM ARROWS READY 🏹❤️ FOR YO ASS 💘💘 DONT FOR GET TO STICK 😱👀 THOSE FLOWERS 🌷🌹 IN A VASE AND TIE UP 😏😩 THOSE PRESENTS 👅💦 BECAUSE FUCKUARY 😜😉 IS SHORT SO GET IN A QUICKIE 👉👌👉👌💦💦 BEFORE ITS OVER! SEND TO 14 OF YO HOES OR BE ALONE THIS V DAY 😳😰😰
          it’s 📅👉Get Fucced February👈👀THOTS 😵🍆💦that🙌means 💘🤪 Valentine’s💖 👉👌Day is 💦CUMming 😤 up‼️destroy😱 Dick 🍆😵December 🤣may have😝ended🤪but🧐 Fibonacci 🔢February✔️is💦🤩COMING🤤in full👏force👊 SEND📩 THIS TO 📬fiVe5️⃣ of😍ur🍌💦sLutTiest🍆🍑 friends to ⛪️bless🙏 👉yourself😝with 💘love💝and 🍆dicc😤this💦month👀end🔚the➡️chain🔗and☝️you’ll be😳cursed😱 with🙅‍♀️no❌daddies👨‍🌾for a 😰whole😩 year😣
          Today 🗓👈 is FUCKuary Fourteenth 🙇‍♂️😳❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 and that means its Saint 😇🙏 ValenTAINTs 🍑👈🥵 Day 🌞💞🌺🥰😍😏😏🤪 Whether ur 🤔 Taken Bacon 👯🍑🥓😘 or a Single Pringle 🧍🥠😬🤷 its time 2 👈 SPREAD 👉 ur Holey 🤸🕳 Bibble 📖 nice n WIDE 🤑😫😧😱🤯 cuz all year long 📅👀 Cupids been ✊⬆️ YANKING ✊⬇️😩 on his Bow 🏹🍆😫 n he’s finally 😮‍💨 ready 😳 to SHOOT 🎯👅👅👅 his 💓 Love Magic ✨💦😋 ALLLLLL over u 🏹🍑🎯🤤👅😉 HURRY 😰🏃 and fill 😋🍬👌 ur pretty 😍 lil box 🎁✨ with plenty of COCKlates 🍫🍆😜 cuz u know what they say 👴💬🤔 U never know who ur gonna get 😏🥳🍆💛💚🌷💖💝💐💌SEND📲 to 🔟 of ur most beloved 🥰 Valentines Vags 🌷👯💦 so they kno 💭 just how much 👬🤗 u wanna smooch em 💋👯🥰🥰💛💚🌷💖💝
          Got no chocolate 0️⃣🍫🍫🍫on VALENTINE'S 2️⃣💝1️⃣4️⃣? WELL NOT TO WORRY😔 MY DEAR FARMING TOOLS😈😈, because it's time for FOREVER ♾️♾️♾️FAP 💦🍌🤏FEBRUARY2️⃣!!! Whip out your GLIZZY🥵🥵 and FAP😧🥴😩✊🍆🌊🌊🌊🌊🧻till you're DIZZY🤪 because it's time🕒🔜 to train🏋️ your French🤮🤮🤮 CHIPOLATA🍗 into a German🇩🇪😈 BRATWURST🍗🍗🍗
          It's FUCK-uary 1️⃣4️⃣ you thirsty sluts 🥵 and you know 🧠 what that means 🧐. 🌹 IT'S V DAY 🌹 !!! And I'm not talking 🗣️ about 🅿️USSY 😹 I'm talking about SAINT 😇 VALENTINE ✝️♥️ bending you over 🥲 and 🤜 shoving Cupids 💘👼 arrow deep ☝️inside 🤪 until you BURST 🤯💥. It's the wettest 💦 hottest ☀️ day of the year 🗓️ so get those 👗 clothes OFF 😏 get 🔛 that DICK and get sprayed 🍆💦 down all 😀 day 😛 long 🤤. May all you straight ♂️♀️ bitches 💅 get that PUSSY 🐈 all you GAY bitches 🌈 get that 🅱️USSY 🍑 and all you car guys get that CUSSY 🚗🍆🥵.

Send this to 🔟 of your sexiest skanks 👙👉👌 If you get 0️⃣ back you're 💦 cumming 💦 alone 😥 all day 😰 Get 5️⃣ back and Cupid 🏹 will split 💔 your ass in half 🍑 😱 Get 🔟 back and ⚜️♥️ Saint Valentine 🌹 will spread ✌️ you open wide 😳 and FILL 💧 you up with his 🍆♥️ love ♥️🍆 all year long 🤤😭
          💘Fuckuary is cummin💦 you bitches. You know what that means❓time to suck on a BIG OL LOLLIPOP🍭😋💦❗️Our main daddy CUPID👼🏼 and has to cum shoot his arrow♐️ in u🍆 for all you naughty little cupid sluts 😉. Send this to 🔟 of ur naughty little cupid sluts who are in need😩 of a BIG ARROW IN THEIR 🐯💦 from Daddy Cupid💖 or u won't get any 💝Valentine's cummies💘 this year🙊🙅🏼.
          ❤️🌹Roses are Red ❤️ Ballsacks are blue 💙 if he’s busy tonight.. 🗓 his side hoe is YOU! 😭😭😭

👋🏻HEY👋🏻 YOU seXXXy💋 LITTLE😫 💃🏼💃🏼SLUTS 💞💞 Today📆 is February 👠WHORE-teenth💥 which means👨🏻DADDY CUPID 💘 is 💦cumming💦 for YOU! 💞😘❤️ He’s been ✊🏼 YANKING ✊🏼😩 on his bow🏹 and arrow💘 all night😖 getting ready to 🎯SHOOT 💞 his load 😩👅 right into you! 😋 So Daddy Cupid 💞 draw 🔙 your bow 🏹 💘 and let those🤣 CUMMIES 💦 FLOW 💦 FLOW 💦 FLOW ➡️💞💞 🙏🏻Saint🙌🏻 Valentine💕🌹 is the 😈 SLUTTIEST 😈 Saint there is, so 👈🏻spread👉🏻your holy 🙌🏻bible ⬅️wide➡️ and take 🤤 EVERYTHING 😵😵 he’s got 🙏🏻. 💌☄️SEND💌 this to 1️⃣4️⃣💄😍 ValenHOE’s 💁🏼‍♀️ you know will get DICKED DOWN tonight! 😘
          HEY👋 YOU👋 ARE YOU UPSET😤😭💔 YOU WON’T GET ANY DICK🍆 VAG🌮✌️ OR ASS🍑 THIS VALENTINE’S DAY💘💘 WELL👏 YOU👏 ARE👏 IN👏 LUCK👏 TODAY📆 IS THE IDES OF FEBRUARY 👉😏👉 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS 🙌😨‼️ IT IS LUPERCALIA🎊 THE ROMAN FESTIVAL🎉🎉 THE CHURCH⛪️✝️ PEGGED🍆🍆 TO THE LEGEND OF ST VALENTINE 🙅‍♂️😇 WHY GOD GOTTA BE A COCKBLOCK❌🍆❌ EVER WONDER🤔 WHERE THE “FEBRUA”😩 IN FEBRUARY😫 CUMS🤤🍾💦💦💦 FROM⁉️ TAKE OUT YOUR STYLUS✏️ AND TABULA RASA🗒 AND GET READY TO TAKE SOME NOTES📝 CUZ THIS SHIT💩💩 IS ABOUT TO GET EDUCATIONAL🤓🤓 JUST HOW HARDCORE💯💯💯 WAS THIS ANCIENT PAGAN HOLIDAY¿¿🏺🔮HERE’S A HINT: NAKED ROMANS 🔞🔞🔞 TOGA❗️ TOGA❗️ TOGA❗️ NAMED AFTER THE LUPERCAL, THE CAVE🕳 WHERE THE TWIN FOUNDERS OF ROME🏛 ROMULUS ET REMUS👬 WERE SUCKLED🤗🤗 BY THE SHE-WOLF🐺 MMM DAT MILKY MILKY MILK🍼🍼 INSIDE THE CAVE THE RITUAL👹🕯 WOULD BEGIN WITH TWO NAKED🤫 LUPERCI PRIESTS SACRIFICING ☠️👻 A GOAT🐐 AS A REPRESENTATION OF SEXUALITY👅🍒 AND A DOG🐕 RIP CERBERUS🦴 THE TWO PRIESTS WOULD USE THE CEREMONIAL DAGGER🔪 TO SMEAR BLOOD🩸 ON EACH OTHER’S FOREHEAD🤦‍♂️ AND WIPE IT AWAY👋 WITH MILK-SOAKED WOOL🥛🐑 WHILE LAUGHING😆😅 AFTER EATING THE SACRIFICIAL GOAT🍽🥢 THE PRIESTS WOULD CUT THE HIDE INTO STRIPS✂️ AND FASHION SOME INTO THONGS 🩲👙🔛 THE PRIESTS WOULD THEN RUN🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️ AROUND THE CITY👀🙈🍆🍆🍆 USING THE REMAINING BLOODY GOAT STRIPS😳🙄 AS INSTRUMENTS💉 OF PURIFICATION, OR “FEBRUA”😱🤯😵 WOMEN WOULD WELCOME THE LASHES📿📿 AS A BLESSING OF FERTILITY🙌🙏 SPANK ME, DADDY 👨🏻👋😝 MAYBE THIS ALL SOUNDS WILD AND CRAZY🤪 BUT HEY🗣🗣 WHEN IN ROME😏😏 IT’S TRADITION😈😈 SO THAT MAKES IT OKAY👌👈☔️ #LEGALIZECHRISTIANITY‼️ SEND📲 THIS TO 🔟 rHOEmans👯‍♀️ AND YOU’LL BE A VESTAL VIRGIN😙 💅 GET 0️⃣ BACK AND YOU’RE A BARREN BITCH 😣 OR A FALLOW FUCKBOI😖 GET 🔟 BACK AND YOU’RE A BOUNTIFUL BABE💃 GET 2️⃣5️⃣ BACK AND YOU’RE THE FLAMEN DIALIS 🔥 JUPITER’S HIGH🌬🚬 PRIEST😽🪐 GET 5️⃣0️⃣ BACK AND YOU’RE PONTIFEX maXXXimus 🤩🛐 GET 💯 BACK AND YOU’RE A CERTIFIED NYMPHO 🤤🎟🎢🎆 PAX ROMANA MEANS SEX FOR WORLD PEACE🌍✌️🌿
          👭 This one goes out to all the 💦 horny couples out there who are thinking of getting 🍆 rowdy this ❤️ valentine's day evening. 👍 do 👎 not. If you do, your child will be born 👏 A SCORPIO. 👭 Now, why don't we like scorpios? For starters, scorpio, has ☝️✌️✌️☝️☝️7️⃣ letters. 7 letters, ✝️ 7 deadly sins ❌. Now, what are the 7 deadly sins? ☝️😡 wrath, ✌️ 💤 sloth, 3️⃣ 🍔 gluttony, 4️⃣ envy. 👏👏 Envy is associated with the colour: 🟩 green. What else is green? 🌿 Marihuana. Just one more pothead in the world, 💁‍♀️💅 LAME! Now where is pot legal? ⬆️🇨🇦 Canada, ↖️ Washington, ↙️ Colorado, ⬅️ Oregon, ↖️ Alaska, 👉👈 airplane 👈👉 bathrooms, to make the 🧑‍✈️ pilots chill, and where can ✈️ planes take you? 😎 California, and what is on California's state flag? A 🐻 bear! Your 👶 child, is 🏳️‍🌈 gay.
          I'm🤭 so excited🤫 for😳 tomorrow. Tomorrow is valentines😘 day!❤❤❤. That💘 means tomorrow😎 I get extra😫 cummies!!!💦💦💦💦💦💦💦. Yummy💦 yummy💦 cummy💦 in my tummy🤤. I put my cummies💦 in a 🍑 and eat it, yum yum😫. 🤫 all I have to😎 do is stroke👏 stroke👏 stroke👏 until the delicious❤ cummies💦 cum out! I love❤ all the extra➕ cummies💦 I get for 🅱️alentines 👏 day.
          🍑THUSSY 🕳️ 💦 IS 🍒RED🍓 🧔‍♂️HIS BALLS 🏀⚽ ARE BLUE🫐 IF HE BUSY 👤💼👻 ON V-DAY💖 HIS 👀 SIDE HO♠️ IS YOU🫵🙀 🐸☕💅💅🐸☕💅💅 SINCE V✌️🍫DAY 💝💜 IS CUMMING 🍆💦💦GET CHO PUSSY🐈😻, BUSSY🍑🤎, OR NONBINUSSY⚧️ READY🎀 FOR A GOOD SQUIRT 🍊🧃💦FROM DADDY 😏😩, CUZ CUPID 👼🏼 GETTIN DEM ARROWS READY 🏹🫀FOR YO ASS 🐴🍑‼️ DON'T🙅🍩 FORGET TO THRUST🤺 THOSE FLOWERS 🌷🌹 INTO A VASE 🏺AND TIE UP🪢😏😩 DAT COCKLATE💝🍫 BOX🎁👅💦 GOOD, CUZ FUCK-ME-ARY 🌸💗 IS SHORT ⏳⌛🗓️‼️AND WILL FINISH🏁 BEFORE🐝4️⃣ YOU 🥺‼️ SO GET IN A 🐆QUICKIE 👉👌👉👌💦 BEFORE IT'S OVER‼️ SEND📤 TO 1️⃣4️⃣ OF YO SLUTTY 👄 CUMRADS 👯‍♂️👯‍♂️👯OR BE ALL ALONE 🏝️😔THIS V🫶DAY 😳😰😿🙀
          Happy VALENTINES DAY‼️💘💘 it is time for some LOVE 💞❤️ in your BEDROOM 🛏️😉 ‼️ I hope youre ready for some HOT 🥵🔥 and SPICY 🌶️🫑 action this VALENTINES DAY‼️💘 youre gonna get lots of DARK CHOCOLATE 🍫🍫💝💝 CUMMIES 🍆💦 this VALENTINES DAY 😉 you better ask your CRUSH 😳💌💝 to be your VALENTINE 💘 or 👏else👏 you 👏might 👏get no❌ DARK CHOCOLATE 🍫 COCK 🍆🍆 this VALENTINES DAY😭 CUPID 💘 💋 is CUMMING and you HAVE to take his LONG HARD ARROW 😳🍑❤️ you better be able to take those 🌹ROSE TOY🌹 BOUQUETS💐 all night ⏰ long 😉💋 send this to 5️⃣ of your hottest cupidhoes you know will be getting a 💌 VALENTINE 💌 this VALENTINES DAY ❤️💋 if you get 0️⃣ back your CRUSH 😍will not 💔 give you his LONG HARD CUPIDS ARROW 🍆💦 today 😭 if you get 5️⃣ back you will get loads 😏😉 of VALENTINES DAY ❤️💖 CUMMIES 💦🌊 if you get 🔟 back you 🫵 are going to GET the MOST 😫 VALENTINES DAY 💌❤️ PECKERS‼️‼️🍆🍆 if you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back you 🫵 might as well BE CUPID 💘👼 with the amount of CUMMIES AND LOADS 🍆💦💦 youre gonna get this VALENTINES DAY 💝🍫 you CUPIDHOE‼️‼️ happy VALENTINES DAY I hope you get the HOT 🥵 HOT 🥵 special 👉👌 from your CRUSH 💌💗
          Guess what slore! 👯 Today 🗓👈 is FUCKuary Fourteenth 🙇‍♂️😳🧸💖🌸 and that means its 😇🙏 ValenTAINTs 🍑👈🥵 Day 🌞💞🌺🥰😍😏😏🤪 Whether ur 🤔 Taken Bacon 👯🍑🥓😘 or a Single Pringle 🧍🥠😬🤷 its time 2 👈 SPREAD 👉 ur Holey 🤸🕳 Bibble 📖 nice n WIDE 🤑😫😧😱🤯 cuz all year long 📅👀 Cupids been ✊⬆️ YANKING ✊⬇️😩 on his Bow 🏹🍆😫 n he’s finally 😮‍💨 ready 😳 to SHOOT 🎯👅👅👅 his 💓 Love Magic ✨💦😋 ALLLLLL over u 🏹🍑🎯🤤👅😉 HURRY 😰🏃 and fill 😋🍬👌 ur pretty 😍 lil box 🎁✨ with plenty of COCKlates 🍫🍆😜 cuz u know what they say 👴💬🤔 U never know who ur gonna get 😏🥳🍆💛💚🌷💖💝💐💌SEND📲 to 🔟 of ur most beloved 🥰 Valentines Vags 🌷👯💦 so they kno 💭 just how much 👬🤗 u wanna smooch em 💋👯🥰🥰💛💚🌷💖💝

          Is donk a bit of a boring player

            This CS2 Donk copypasta is based on the classic CSGO ‘Olof boring Guardian flick‘ pasta that started in HLTV.

            is it me or is donk a bit of a boring player

like u see it at the end of the game “oh wow donk has 32 kills” but u can never remember them.

can u remember a single donk kill ?

but try m0nesy…u can see the flick i remember a m0nesy flick.

            Vanguard Invasive Anticheat

              I’m sorry to hear that you uninstalled [Good Game] because of the [Invasive Spyware] requirement. I understand your concern about spyware, but I can assure you that [Invasive Spyware] is not spyware. It is a custom "game security" software designed by [Marketing Company Majority Owned by the CCP] to uphold the highest levels of competitive integrity for their games, such as [Good Game] and [Other Game]. [Invasive Spyware] only runs [24/7] and [Continues] running when you exit the game2. It also [Questionably] respects your privacy and data, and you can find more details about what data it uses and collects here1. [No Link]

[Invasive Spyware] is necessary to prevent [Largely Unseen Problem] in [Good Game], especially after the security breach in [Random Date]. It also ensures that all players have a fair and enjoyable gaming experience [By installing Invasive Spyware]. If you want to play [Good Game] again, you will need to enable [Invasive Spyware] on your computer. You can find more information on how to do that here3.[No Link] If you have any issues or questions, you can contact [Marketing Company Majority Owned by the CCP's] support team here1.[No Link]

I hope this helps you understand why [Invasive Spyware] is required for [Good Game]. I appreciate your feedback and I hope you have a great day.