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犯罪者の98%はパンを食べている

    Its a parody of the Dihydrogen monoxide copypasta but for bread going all the way back to 2012 in Japanese forums.

    パンの危険性について

    ある食べ物が身体にいいという話はよく聞きますが、アメリカの調査結果 によれば、パンは危険な食べ物だということがわかりました。 その驚愕の事実をご紹介します。
    1. 犯罪者の98%はパンを食べている
    2. パンを日常的に食べて育った子供の半数はテストが平均点以下である
    3. 暴力的犯罪の90%はパンを食べてから24時間以内に起きている
    4. パンは中毒症状を引き起こす。 被験者に最初はパンと水を与え、後に水だけを与える実験をすると、2日もしないうちにパンを異常にほしがる
    5. 新生児にパンを与えるとのどをつまらせて苦しがる
    6. 18世紀、どの家も各自でパンを焼いていた頃、平均寿命は50歳だった
    7. パンを食べるアメリカ人のほとんどは、重大な科学的事実と無意味な統計の区別がつかない
    ○犯罪者の98%はパンを食べている。 ○パンを日常的に食べて育った子供の約半数は、テ ストが平均点以下である。 ○暴力的犯罪の90%は、パンを食べてから24時間以 内に起きている。 ○パンは中毒症状を引き起こす。被験者に最初はパ ンと水を与え、後に水だけを与える実験をすると、 2日もしないうちにパンを異常にほしがる。 ○新生児にパンを与えると、のどをつまらせて苦し がる。 ○18世紀、どの家も各自でパンを焼いていた頃、平均寿命は50歳だった。
    
    ほら、パンって危険な食べ物です。 

    Real Breakcore

      Breakcore copypasta

      By u/BlastingStone, its the Real Emo copypasta but changed to breakcore.

      "Real Breakcore" only consists of the late 90s/early 2000s digital hardcore and jungle punk scene. What is known by "Modern Breakcore" is nothing but IDM with questionable real breakcore influence. When people try to argue that artists like Sewerslvt are not real breakcore, while saying that usedcvnt is, I can't help not to cringe because they are just as fake breakcore as Sewerslvt (plus the pretentiousness). Real breakcore sounds CHAOTIC, AGGRESSIVE, and UNCOMPROMISING. Fake breakcore is weak, overly polished, and a failed attempt to direct energy and rhythm into music. Some examples of REAL BREAKCORE are Venetian Snares, Drumcorps, early Igorrr, and Doormouse. Some examples of FAKE BREAKCORE are Machine Girl (post-WLF), most "lolicore," and anything that sounds like it belongs in a TikTok edit. BREAKCORE BELONGS TO HARDCORE, NOT TO HYPERPOP, AMBIENT, OR ANY OTHER MAINSTREAM GENRE. 

      Petition to- SHUT THE FUCK UP.

        Somebody on r/AnarchyChess had a crashout after the “Petition to-” joke had been said a millionth time.

        Petition to- SHUT THE FUCK UP.
        
        Every single post I ever see is just not funny. It's all just "petition to this" or "petition to that." HOW DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH CHESS?? I miss the sub since like a few months ago, when we had actually funny shit, now we're just making stupid stale "petition to mod this guy or smth or ban this guy for some reason idk" and they still have the gall to make MORE POSTS LIKE THIS that they think is worth reading, or rather GIVING MY ATTENTION to?
        
        I'm going insane because of how much you guys do this. How about you make actual funny posts, like how the sub was intended to be? You know what? Someone please get the mods to remove the petition flair, or even ban petitions because all they do is just "petition to ban u/jvmfnncncmnxnx for becas he ummm idk" and we still approve of these posts? Why?
        
        It just really bothers me when people still think petitions are funny. Mods won't do anything about it because "mod team knows best" or something, like where the fuck are my funny bishop sniper posts... or "what do I do in this position"??? You know what? Fuck everything about petitions. Petition to just completely erase the petition flair, and never make these kinds of posts again.

        Bro u don’t never seen this? This sh was fire in 2017🔥🔥🔥

          XXXTENTACION copypasta

          Someone unironically replied with this when asked about the famous XXXTENTACION profile pic.

          Bro u don’t never seen this? This sh was fire in 2017🔥🔥🔥 even X fucked with this. if you were on console or on insta you would away find someone having that as a pfp (they were usually the ones the most pressed for no reason too)

          So I decided to get into Anime and I now understand why nearly everyone who likes it so much acts like a fucking Child

            Its from a post on r/CharacterRant, where OP was giving his thoughts on modern anime as a non anime watcher. The post was mocked and meme-d by shitposters since OP complained about how tropey and cliche-ish anime is when he choose shows that are obviously meant for younger audiences.

            Growing up, I wasn’t really an avid watcher of anime. Sure, there were shows, specials, and what have you that aired on my country’s TV channels, but I grew up on more reality comedy shows (not the American or British ones, my country’s). The most I ever consumed was like a few episodes of DBZ, a localized version of Grendizer, and one or two episodes from some football series.
            
            Now fast-forward nearly two decades later. Anime is incredibly popular, successful, and so wide-spanning that even non-watchers like myself could name a couple of anime characters. I figured ‘why not?’, I decided to go watch an episode or two of a popular modern anime on a whim and see what the hype is all about.
            
            The first show I picked? My Hero Academia.
            
            I know, I know, my fault for picking a mid show when I should have known better. My reasoning was that the premise was interesting enough, and that the show was quite clever when it came to executing its ideas, or so I’ve heard online. So I figured I’d at least give it the benefit of the doubt and watch at least like 5 episodes. They’re all around 18 minutes each; it’s not too bad, right?
            
            So I watched the first episode. Subbed, of course. Thought to myself “Seems fine enough, even if a bit tropey and cliche-ish. Maybe it’s setting up to something bigger and better, who knows?”
            
            I watched the episodes after it, and my only reaction after each episode was bewilderment. And not the good kind. “Flashback of a scene that happened only an episode ago?”, “Why is everyone so one-dimensional and flat?”, “Why is the narrator and Deku constantly explaining everything to an absurd degree?”, and so on. Sure, there was setting, character, development, and else, but it felt like they were all… basic. To put it mildly, everything and everyone felt like a caricature of a caricature of a caricature. It’s like the writers (no offense to them) asked themselves during writing something like “What if this really cool or surprising thing happened?” Instead of “How would this event affect each character’s development?”. Everything felt so superficial and like it lacked any real depth. No, it being ‘satirical’ doesn’t deflect these criticisms if everything else in the show shares the same tone.
            
            But surely, that was an outlier, right? I went ahead to watch a few more shows I heard were good and that even my friend recommended. Re:zero, Frieren and The Apothecary diaries. I don’t think it is controversial to say that these are at least decently well written.
            
            Even though they were better about their issues, I still sensed the same problems. It still felt like everything was hinged around the premise and the ‘pizzazz’ of it all rather than everything else. Safe to say, I wasn’t hooked.
            
            So I decided to give anime one final go. I set on watching Cowboy Bebop and Neon Genesis Evangelion. These were the two shows nearly everyone said were great, but given my experiences so far, it set a very low bar.
            
            And you know what? I actually liked them! Sure, they used just slightly more cliches than I was fine with, but overall it didn’t really hamper my enjoyment too much. Still, it felt I was watching a real show! The characters actually felt grounded, like I could see these people like Spike and Shinji existing in real life, they had flaws and development that didn’t come straight out of a cartoon show, the setting was interesting and well rounded, nearly everyone episode felt important to the plot even if some leaned towards being filler episodes, and so on. Even some of the weirder things (especially for Evangelion) were at the very least crucial to a few of the character arcs.
            
            I’m not the type of guy who wants to come as saying all modern anime is bad and that “back in my day” things were better, but I constantly found myself asking “Hell, is this what everyone considers to be good nowadays?”. And just like that, everything clicked for me.
            
            Have you ever read, heard, or seen something and immediately went “Oh, now everything all-of-a-sudden makes sense about this topic!” The same happened for me, but instead I thought “Oh, I understand why everyone who likes this acts like a child!” If shows like these were what everyone grew up on and liked, then everything about their behavior makes sense, and I’m not just talking about the weebs: Preferring style over substance, overlooking flat characters, criticizing small things when there are much larger issues with the writing (because they can’t detect them), ‘cool’ or ‘complex’ or ‘interesting’ powersystems rather than ones that make for a good story, overuse of ‘sexy’ and/or ‘cute’ designs (because it sells; who cares if the character is as deep as a puddle), over-explaining, too much exposition, and too much dialogue (because who’s going to get implicit details, right?), nearly every show having the same protagonist who does good for the sake of it and not any deeper motivation, and so much more. Even the older shows implied (and by that, I don’t mean a throwaway line or small visual detail) some of the later plot points or arcs.
            
            Mind you, this is all despite the limited number of shows I watched. But I don’t need to see a million frogs just to know if something is a frog.
            
            Now, is my analysis biased? Possibly, given my very small sample size. And moreover, the two shows I liked were known for being groundbreaking and influential, compared to the other stuff I saw. But I have a very strong feeling that if I watched another anime, I could immediately clock it as being worth my time within the first 10 minutes.
            
            Feel free to prove me wrong. As a matter of fact, I do want to be proven wrong because I don’t want to carry this negative expectation of every modern anime.

            In the 1980s I was a high-powered salaryman working in the pachinko industry

              Comment
              byu/katsboi from discussion
              incomedyheaven

              By u/Digitalmodernism, its a fictional story of someone recounting working in Japan during the 1980s where anime is socially acceptable.

              In the 1980s I was a high-powered salaryman working in the pachinko industry in Osaka focusing on design and advertising. I had a wife and two children and I drank heavily most nights of the week. Being a fan of anime at the time in Japan was completely socially acceptable and not unusual for working adults. Popular anime series during that period included Urusei Yatsura, Mobile Suit Gundam, Space Battleship Yamato, Captain Tsubasa, Dr. Slump, Kinnikuman, Fist of the North Star, and Cat’s Eye. Many of my colleagues also watched anime or read manga and there were open discussions in the office about recent episodes or plot developments especially regarding Gundam or Hokuto no Ken. Nobody thought it was childish or strange. I once attended an anime convention in Nagoya in the early 1980s. I was chain smoking heavily and very drunk after several hours of drinking. While standing outside the venue I witnessed a stabbing across the street. I did not recognize the individuals involved and I did not approach. I left the area quickly out of fear leaving behind a rare Kinnikuman plush I had purchased earlier in the day. After reaching the end of the street I decided I needed to retrieve the plush. I returned to the area but by then the police had arrived and the suspect was no longer present. I was stopped and questioned by an officer and asked what I was doing in the area. I told him I had left my Kinnikuman plush behind and I pointed to it where it had fallen near a cigarette vending machine. They asked me a few more questions and checked my ID. I was allowed to leave with the plush and was not held. I returned to my hotel alone and did not tell my wife about the incident.