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Kuda Izuna

    Izuna from Blue Archive

    From Blue Archive, Izuna is a bright and bubbly girl who dreams of one day becoming “the best ninja of Kivotos”.

    Haaaaaa Another busy day at Schale, I still need to head back to finish those doc-- HMMMMM?🤨

Huh? what's this?😥 why do I f-feel like I'm being followed!!?😱😱

Huh? the white tip of an orange fluffy tail poking out the wall!??!😱 it must only mean... I-Izuna!💢💢💢😡😡😡

Are you stalking Sensei again without permission! HAH!!??? HAH!!???💢💢💢💢💢💢

Come out of that fake wall cover! GRRRRRRR😡 A proper ninja must not be detected by their target!!!💢💢💢

Come over here so I can correct you!💢💢💢 its the duty of a ninja's lord!!💢💢💢😭😭😭 SPANK🍑👋 SPANK🍑👋 SPANK🍑👋 SPANK🍑👋 SPANK🍑👋 SPANK🍑👋 SPANK🍑👋 SPANK🍑👋 Did you finally learn your lesson now hAH!!!💢😡😭 SPANK🍑👋 SPANK🍑👋 SPANK🍑👋 SPANK🍑👋 SPANK🍑👋 SPANK🍑👋 SPANK🍑👋 SPANK🍑👋 SPUURRTTT!!💦💦💦💦

Huh?🤨 Unbelievable! Izuna's lower end is using PUKU-PUKU NO JUTSU!💦💦 Don't tell me... YOU ARE ENJOYING YOUR PUNISHMENT YOU BRATTY NINJA!💢💢😡😡

HuH?🤨 Y-you are fine with punishment?! for your lord's sake?! I-I'm touched by your PASSION Izuna! v-very well! let Sensei teach you a very special and secret technique that a ninja like you can use😁😁 OOOUUHHHHHHHHHHHH😭😭😭😭

First Izuna, we must prepare your body using Sensei's sacred stick!😭 Lie down and let Sensei do the ritual😭😭😭 in.... three.. two.. one... GAAAUUOOOGHHHHHH😭😭😭😭 HAH!🥵 HAH!🥵 HAH!🥵 HAH!🥵 HAH!🥵 G-GOOD JOB Izuna you COMPLETED the first ritual😁

Now lets continue with the rest!😭😭 Here, I go Izuna!!!😭 GAAUUOO😭 GAAUUOO😭 GAAUUOO😭 GAAUUOO😭 GAAUUOO😭 HAH!🥵 HAH!🥵 HAH!🥵 GAAUUOO😭 GAAUUOO😭 GAAUUOO😭 GAAUUOO😭 GAAUUOO😭 HAH!🥵 HAH!🥵 HAH!🥵 WHAT THE! SUDDENLY WRAPPING YOUR TAIL AROUND ME!💢😡😭 YOU VIXEN!🦊 LET ME BORROW THAT TAIL!💢😡 MOFU-MOFU😭 SNIFF👃 MOFU-MOFU😭 SNIFF👃 MOFU-MOFU😭 SNIFF👃 MOFU-MOFU😭 SNIFF👃 MOFU-MOFU😭 SNIFF👃

WOAH! PULLING ME CLOSE TO YOU!🥵 GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR😡 YOU ASKED FOR IT IZUNA!💢😡 CHUPA~CHU~💓😭 CHUPA~CHU~💓😭 CHUPA~CHU~💓😭 CHUPA~CHU~💓😭 CHUPA~CHU~💓😭 CHUPA~CHU~💓😭 CHUPA~CHU💓😭 GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! HMMM? LOOKING AT SENSEI WITH EYES LIKE THAT!?👀 GOOD!😭 GOOD!😭 YOU HAVE MASTERED YOUR SEDUCTION JUTSU😭 AS A REWARD SENSEI WILL NOW GIVE YOU THE SECRET TECHINQUE! ARE YOU READY IZUNA?! UUOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH😭😭😭 "SECRET TECHNIQUE: ART OF TRIPLETS!!!" GAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA🥵 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA🥵 NIN-NIN🥵 NIN-NIN🥵 NIN-NIN🥵 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa🥵 aaaaaaaaaaaa🥵 aaaaaaaaaaa🥵 nin-nin🥵 nin-nin🥵 nin-nin🥵

    “I’ve never been a fan of Internet Explorer”

      The Big Bang Theory is an American sitcom about a bunch of geeks and a ton of nerd references.

      Its a copypasta joke that the sitcom Big Bang Theory is actually unfunny and people would only laugh because it has laugh track. Its unclear where it originally came from but the earliest dates back in 2018 from Reddit.

      "I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer"

Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline.

"Why not? Don't you like the internet?"

The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen.

"I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble."

The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction...

"BAZINGA"

In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.

      I want to be in the woods furiously masterbating. Above my head circles a remote controlled drone.

        Its based on a comment in r/trippinthroughtime back in 2016. There are 2 versions of the pasta with more popular one ending with “…instantly incinerating me.” while the original ends with “I am disentegrated. Fuck yea.” 

        I want to be in the woods furiously masterbating. Above my head circles a remote controlled drone. The operator is over 500 miles away, also furiously masterbating. As we both simultaneously reach climax, he launches a hell-fire missile, instantly incinerating me.

        Original

        Comment
        by from discussion
        intrippinthroughtime
        I want to be in the woods, furiously masturbating. Above me, a military drone is fixed on my position. The operator is over 500 miles away, also furiously masturbating. He releases a laser guided Hellfire missile. As we both simultaneously reach climax together, I am disentegrated. Fuck yea.

        I’m so tired of Orchis…

          Its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Orchis from Shadowverse. Created by u/lzy333 for the Shadowverse sub on Reddit.

          I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Orchis. I try to play Kuon. Their Orchis deals more damage. I try to play Cerberus. Their Orchis deals more damage. I try to play Albert. Their Orchis blocks his damage. I want to play Artifact portal. Their best deck has Orchis. I want to play any portal deck. They all want Orchis.

She grabs me by the throat. I made her premium. I use my extra pp for her. I super-evolve her. She isn't satisfied. I summon Ralmia. "I don't need this much artifacts" She tells me. "Give me more puppets." She grabs Noah and forces him to add 3 copies of Puppet to my hand. "You just need to add puppets. I can deal more damage with puppets."

I can't get more puppet cards, I don't have card draw. She grabs my Eudie. Eudie declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs Lloyd. She says "Lloyd, get them." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure Bane. What a cruel world

          Addison Rae

            If you don't like Addison Rae, you need to work on your internalized homophobia. She is giving the gays EVERYTHING we want. She's giving us Y2K, early 2000s Radio Disney pop PERFECTION while also giving us vroom vroom futuristic 3008 hyperpop girlie. She is both the modern day Britney Spears and Charli's protege. How could you not absolutely live for her? Unless you hate being gay and gay culture?
            To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Addison Rae. The music is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of music most of the lyrics will go over a typical listener's head. There's also Addison's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into her characterisation - her personal philosophy draws heavily from Britney Spears's music, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Addison Rae truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Addison's existencial catchphrase "Losing all my innocence in the backseat," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Addison Rae's genius unfolds itself on their streaming services. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have an Addison Rae tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

            Just post the sauce! What the fuck is wrong with you people?

              Comment
              byu/GuiiHSi from discussion
              inokbuddyhololive
              Just post the sauce! What the fuck is wrong with you people? How many posts do you have to see in this sub before you learn to do it automatically? Am I the insane one? Is this a power thing for you? Does it make you HARD to make me ask for it? UwU pwease gib saucy 🥺🥺🥺 is that what you want you sick fuck? You want me to beg? I'll fucking beg. I don't give two shits I just want the fUCKING SAUCE IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?