Skip to content

I end up roping 95% of games 10+ minutes because you all suck.

    Posted by u/Turbulent_Maybe_7237 on the MTG sub, the person has since deleted his account and the post has been removed by Reddit.

    I end up roping 95% of games 10+ minutes because you all suck.
    
    Learn to play.
    
    You play a single board wipe? That’s rope. You lost and flipped over the game.
    
    Counter spam? You’re roped. Obvious reasoning, learn to play.
    
    Netdeck? Rope. I can literally play your own deck for you, 5 turns in advance; how are you not embarrassed being an actual npc who can’t build?
    
    This game is ruined by the “meta” and you losers who encourage it. I wish I could actually play this game instead of “staring at empty screen” simulator for over 50% of my games because you all suck and don’t know how to play without wiping a board for 4 mana or stopping a 8 mana wincon with the 3 two mana counters you’ve been holding all game.
    
    I put turn stops on every turn, wait out the timer until it’s barely a wick. The timer resets on attack phases so every turn ends up being like 3ish minutes of rope, I hold instant spells and maintain blocks/life gain to keep the game going as long as possible. I regularly rope people for 30ish minutes while they can only ping me for 1-2 damage every few minutes.
    
    Goes without saying but obviously never faced any repercussions for this, nobody cares that your control netdeck got roped for 15 minutes, boo hoo. Also want to clarify that I get roped MAYBE 1% of the games I play, obviously going to keep roping to punish annoying players.
    
    EDIT; It genuinely just struck me that statistically, most of you are lower rank than me (diamond 2 rn) with zero board wipes or counterspells, highly ironic getting lectured on skill by people who can barely eke out plat with netdecks crafted by pros.
    
    2nd EDIT: One of the most commented/interacted post in days within an hour of posting, REALLY shows how much of a nerve this struck and how much y’all feel called out, maybe self examine why?

    I end up jerking 95% of posts 10+ comments because you all suck.

    I end up jerking 95% of posts 10+ comments because you all suck.
    
    Learn to jerk.
    
    You ask a single stupid question? That’s jerk. You stupid and flipped over on reddit.
    
    Complain spam? You’re jerked. Obvious reasoning, learn to jerk.
    
    Netjerk? Jerk. I can literally jerk your own post for you, 5 days in advance; how are you not embarrassed being an actual npc who can’t jerk?
    
    This sub is ruined by the “trending tab” and you losers who encourage it. I wish I could actually jerk this circle instead of “staring at empty screen” simulator for over 50% of my scrolling because you all suck and don’t know how to jerk without copying pastas for 4 upvotes or ruining a 8k upvotes post with the 3  two upvotes comment you’ve been holding in all day.
    
    I put a jerk stop on every comment, wait out the auto-ban timer until it’s over. The timer resets on the next comment so every tread ends up being like 30 comments of jerk, I hold instant replies and maintain hardness/ stamina to keep the jerk going as long as possible. I regularly jerk people for 30 comments while they can only report me 1-2 times every few minutes.
    
    Goes without saying but obviously never faced any repercussions for this, nobody cares that your stupid post got jerked for 15 upvotes, boo hoo. Also want to clarify that I get jerked MAYBE 1% of the posts i make, obviously going to keep jerking to punish annoying redditors.
    
    EDIT; It genuinely just struck me that statistically, most of you are lower karma than me ( 2 rn) with zero trending posts or comments, highly ironic getting lectured on grammars by people who can barely eke out upvotes with netjerks crafted by pro jerkers.
    
    2nd EDIT: One of the most commented/interacted post in days within an hour of posting, REALLY shows how much of a nerve this struck and how much y’all feel called out, maybe self examine why?
    

    I am very mad. I drove all the way to CSU to play in a tournament

      Posted by someone in the Colorado Melee Facebook group after a tournament in 2015, this has been SSBM most iconic and popular copypasta.

      I am very mad. I drove all the way to CSU to play in a tournament, get stuck in traffic and lost against this retarded ass sheik. Down threw tech chase and wouldn't stop shino stalling I really cannot think straight right now. I offered to MM him for more than $20. Nope. I thought I would have made it out of pools if I knew how to fucking buffer roll. But they didn't even give me the frames to do it. Bullshit, just straight up bullshit. Probably will never go to a tournament that gay ass sheiks enter ever again. This definitely ruined my day. 
      I am very mad. I drove all the way to CSU to play in a tournament, get stuck in traffic and lost against this retarded ass sheik. Down threw tech chase and wouldn't stop shino stalling
      I really cannot think straight right now.
      I offered to MM him for more than $20. Nope.
      I thought I would have made it out of pools if I knew how to fucking buffer roll. But they didn't even give me the frames to do it. Bullshit, just straight up bullshit.
      Probably will never go to a tournament that gay ass sheiks enter ever again. This definitely ruined my day.

      Hello!💖I am the real Kagamine Len!

        Hello!💖I am the real Kagamine Len! fukkuran jata yapa obi kagen~ I want 3840 dollars to make new song!! Please help me it is important for me.. Thanks! BANANANANANANANA🍌🍌 

        Funeral copypasta

          Heard🗣️👂the news📰🗞️about the passing😭😫😭 of your loved one💕💘💖 R.I.P. REST IN PUSSY💦💦👅🌮🌮🌮 and GET LAID🛌↔️in their DIRTY grave🪦😝 Whether they’re CREAM-ATEd🌫️⚱️🌫️😋😋🤰or STUFFED🦃🦃and given a WIDE open-casket⚰️😘😩 (I know it’s what the WHORE👯‍♀️👯‍♀️ would’ve wanted⭕️💢⭕️💢) If they were a BAD🙈little DEVIL😈they’ll be going DEEP😮‍💨🤤in Satan’s🥵tight HOLE🔥🕳️and riding💃🛶🕺across The River🌊of Dixs🍆🍆to meet Slay-des🔥👹⛓️ Send this to 1️⃣0️⃣ family members🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒 in moaning💦😫💦 so their soul gets a one way 🎫👅🎟️ticket🎟️👅🎫right to🫦Daddy’s🫦🧎‍♂️‍➡️lap🧎‍♂️and He can FUCK🍆🍆🍆your HOLE-ly🕳️🕳️ASS🍑💦🍑 and BLESS🙏🙏🙏you with His 😇heavenly😇 LOAD🌫️🌫️🌫️💦Make sure to FUCK🍑🍆your SLUTS🥴😣🥴 while they’re HORNY😳🥵😳Life🤰👶👧👦👨👩👴👵is short but this DICK🍆🍆 is LONG↕️↕️↕️ 
          my 🤠🙋🏾‍♀️funeral ⚰️💀invite📝📬:
          
          yoooo👋🏾 guess 🤔 who❓just ⚠️ died ⚰️⚱️ y'all 👥? ME!! 🙌🏾😪 and 😒 that's ↗️the↖️tea ☕️🍵 sis 🙆🏾‍♀️ askdkdjd 🔤 I'm 🚫 cancelled🚷af🚯
          
          drop 💧down👇🏾to get 🚬turnt🔧girls👧🏾♀👭: 🆓free🆓boys👦🏾♀👬:💲$15💸
          According🔬 to most studies⚗️⚖️, people's number one1️⃣ fear is public👨‍👨‍👧‍👦 speaking🗣. Number two2️⃣ is death☠️. Death☠️ is number two2️⃣. Does that👈🏻 sound right➡️? This means to the average✔️ person🙋‍♂️, if you go to a funeral💀⚰️, you're better off🔛 in the casket⚰️ than doing the eulogy😂😂😂🗣🗣🗣😂😂😂😂😂 
          I don't 🙅🏼wanna sound 🗣too much like Larry David 🤷🏼‍♂️👴🏻but 👐some funerals 💔💀☠️are too 🕐 long🍆🍆😏like this person lived a long 🍆🍆🍆😏and full 🍑🍑🍑life but 2️⃣hrs is the max 💯I wanna spend 💵💸💰at a funeral👻👻
          👁👄👁 So some of my students👩‍🎓👨‍🎓 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♂️ ask me professor 👩‍🏫what are your thoughts 🤔🧠 on death ☠⚰ and I said honestly I am not afraid to die 🙅‍♀️ and I dont know🤷‍♀️ if that's an attribution of my mental illness 🏥 or I'm just not. Like life to me 🙋‍♀️ is just one big video game 🎮🕹 and I'm going to play 🤺🎮 as hard as I can til 🏇🏂 someone else takes me out 🗡⚔🏹 of the game then it is game 🎮 over 🙅‍♀️. I dont want anyone crying 😥😭 at my funeral ⚰☠. I am dead ☠, this is a 💃💃celebration 🎊🎊🎉🎉 cause life was hard 😓. When I am dead ☠ I could care less about this body 💁‍♀️ They can dress👗👠💄 it up and throw it 🙌 into a pile of necrophiliacs and I can go out with one more 😄😄 good time💃💃. At my funeral ⚰ I want a rachet funeral 😛⚰☠. I want two of my ex-girlfriends 👭 to be fighting 🤺 like at the foot of the casket⚰. I want there to be a drive by 🚗🚗🚘🚙 but I dont want anyone to get hit ☠☠ because it is my day 💁‍♀️💃 to get photoshopped in those ghetto ass clouds⛅☁️. It's my day🙆‍♀️. For the repass, I want it to be at the strip club💋. And lastly I've never 🙅‍♀️ done drugs🚬🚬 in my life because my brain 🧠👀 is wired backwards 🔙 and I dont think 🤷‍♀️ that would ever help but a lot of people 🙎‍♂️🙎‍♀️🙎‍♂️🙎‍♀️who do love me 😘❤ and that are in my life 🙋‍♀️who do smoke🚬 so I can be cremated 🔥🔥 so they can take my ashes 🙌👀 and roll them up 🔝and smoke me 🚬and that's how I want to go out 👁👄👁 

          Happy Tax Day

            Happy TAX Day sluts 🤑💰💃 find 🔎 all ur ACCUNTS 😼😽 and ROLLOVER ↩️🍑for that 🇭&🇷 COCK 🍆😇 Uncle Sam🎩🇺🇸 will leave u GROSS🤢 IN 💦 CUM 💦🫦 and PENALIZE😈🍆 u for PREMATURE⏱️ DISTRIBUTION 💦💦 if ur cut✂️🍆? pay 💸 the EXCISE TAX😂😈
            Hey👋🏻 you 💸🪙inCUM 🌬guzzling💦👅 SLUTS👙😘‼️ It’s Tax📈 🎉Day📆🤑 and 🫵🏻you🫵🏻 know🙌🏻 what that 👏🏻means💃💃❕❗️ Grab that 🍆H&R🍌 COCK🍆💦🤤 and 🫨SHAKE your 🍑ASSets🍑😱 for 🇺🇸UNCLE SAM👨🏻‍🦳🥵, get your 👀INSIDES🫃 GROSSLY🆘 ADJUSTED🧮👉👌 by a 📋✅certified PU🅱️IC acCUNTant🧠😮‍💨, DROP🙇‍♂️ to 🫵🏻your 🦴KNEES🦗 and take🍌🕳 a good🔥 📉TURBOTAXING🫄‼️‼️ Avoid a 🙊💲PANKING🚼 of fees and 👀PENALties🤫 by 💋FILLING🤯 🆙 your paperwork📝🧾 before the 🍆😳COCK🍌😩 STROKES🕰 MIDNIGHT💋❗️ 💌Send💌 this to 1️⃣0️⃣9️⃣9️⃣ of your 💅🏻😏THOTTIEST💎 taxpayers💳😘 and 🥠PUSSIEST🍪 penny🪙 PINCHERS🥵🤏🏻❕ If you get 0️⃣🔙, the 📲Internal 💸Revenue💰 SERVICERS👮‍♂️ will 👀AUDIT🫶 and 🚫close 🫵🏻your 🕳loopHOLES🕳 FOREVER😱😭🥶‼️ If you get 5️⃣🔙, 👨🏻‍🦳🫡UNCLE💯SAM🇺🇸 will ➡️grant 🫵🏻you a SEXTENSION🍆💦🤤❕ If you💢 get 🔟➕🔙, you’ll feel🫦🫦 a 💯🫣MASSIVE🥴 💥ORGA-SUM😵‍💫 💸💴CUMMING🌊 your 🤑way💋📫‼️❗️ 
            Happy 😃 tax💲 📉 day 📆you thrifty 💰 thots 😈
            
            If youre looking to avoid 🚷a spanking 🖐🍑of penalties 🚫and interest 💸or for Uncle Sam 🇺🇲 🦅to "throw back"⬅️🍑 your SEXcess withholding 💵make sure to file🗃 your taxes or a SEXtension 📏before the⏰️ cock 🍆 strikes midnight.🕛
            
            If you want 🙏to get a big orgaSUM 💦of money 💰 see if you're eligible for tax credits like the earned 💲👷‍♂️ inCUM 💦💦💦credit, the 🦅American🇺🇸 COCKportunity 🍆 credit, or the lifetime LICKING👅🍭credit.
            
            Lastly, avoid any denials 😈 make sure ✅️that your social SEXcurity 🍆👌💦 CUMber 🔢and bank 🏦acCUNt information are listed 📝correctly ✅️on the form or 🇺🇲Uncle Sam🎆 may not let your refund CUM 🚫💦😱
            
            Send 📨this to 1040 of your thottiest 🍑🍆 taxpaying ✉️ 💵friends👭 to remind 🧠them to file🗃
            Hey there you frivolous financiers 💰 🍆 💦 💵 🤤 you icky investors 👍🏼 📈🏦 😩 you autoerotic accuntants 🤓 ✊🏼 💨 🔥 🥇 It’s time to use both hands 🖐🏼 😬 🖐🏼 and pull out ✊🏼🍆💦😏 that cockulator📠📱 because this tax season 🧾just got extended 🍆 📏 🍌 😱
            
            Due to that contagious 😷 Covid cock 🍆 💨 🦠👄 😋 people are getting too antsy 😟 😳 💁🏻‍♀️ and can’t seem to spread those sheets 📝 👩🏻‍💻 😏 👌🏼 , check those assssets 🔦 🍆 💦 🍑 🍑 and get gross 🤢 with their profits 💵💵 fast enough 🏃+🏃🏻‍♀️=🛌 Since we had no time ⏰ ⏳ 😫 to stuff our return package 🎁🎁 🍆 🎉 in that box 📩📬📫 Daddy Donald 👱🏻‍♂️👌🏼 🇺🇸 🔥 & congress 👬🏼🚫👨🏾 🤷🏻‍♀️ decided to lengthen 🌾💊 😜 📏 🌽 that due date 📅🧏🏻‍♀️and have a lil swamp romp 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨🔞before they receive the big deposit 💷💶💵 💦 😩 from us. So if like this tax season, you wanna get “delaid” 👉🏼 👌🏼 😏🌚 then be the ultimate dirty dog 🐶 🐶 👅 , and get fixed 🙊 ✂️ 🚫 🍆 😢 with that slush fund 🤤 🤤 incum 💵 ✊🏼💨 😋 so you can put 2 in the bank ✌🏼 🏦 💯 and 1 in the stank 👆🏼💩 🍑🙅🏻‍♀️ If you have more to show off 👨🏾🧥 🍌 😏then pull out that pen 🖊 and squirt some ink 🐙🦑💨💦💦on those W-4 whores 🧾📇👯‍♂️👯‍♂️If your employees need a little assssistance 🖐🏼 💨 🍑 👩🏼‍🦼don’t forget to have them fondle 🙈😈some Goldman Sachs 🍒 🍒🤪to make that curve exponential 🥕 💦 📈🎢🍾🥂. So if your skanky secretary 👩‍💼 😉 is down for a little H&R Cock🟩🟩🍆🍆 and wants to slob 😋😝 🤤 on the Charles Schwab nob 🤑 💦 🌽 😈 then look no further 👀 and get delaid 🔞😏👌🏼like this tax season🧾🗃💎Send this to 10 irresistible IRS Agents 👮🏻 👮🏻 💁🏻‍♀️ or else, the only thing getting audited 🔍 🩺👨🏾‍⚕️ will be your girls AIG-spot 🖖🏼♦️🔥💆🏻‍♀️by the Lehman Brothers 💵 🤷🏻‍♂️🤰🤷🏻‍♂️🗼🗼.

            Oh my gyatt! This skibidi toilet is making my boypussy feel like a grimace shake

              Oh my gyatt! This skibidi toilet is making my boypussy feel like a grimace shake being drunk by freddy fazbear! Only in Ohio can yo mama make me feel like a TOTAL sigma! Oh my gyatt! I think I'm about to blow my Kai Cenat rizz juice all over~- Oh my gyatt~! starts cumming BRRRRR SIBIDI DOB DOB DOB YEA YES!!! Oh my god, now my fanum tax has to be cleared!