It's Maundy Thursday and Jesus 🏻✝ is about to get his feet 👣👣 washed hahahahah Get 🉐 it? ✊ Because ♂ He washes feet? 👣👣 That's 💰💰 why ❔ they call 👪 it 💋💦 Maundy Thursday 💦 because 🤔 Jesus 🛐 gave 😮 maunds of 💦 ️ feet 😄👣 that day HAHAHAHA THAT'S ALL 💯💯 I HAVE LEFT 👈🍒 IN 👏 MY 💕💋 BANK OF 👩💦 FUNNY JESUS 🙏 TMI : BLOOD 👀 AND 👏💃 WATER FLOWED FROM JESUS' HOLY 😇 PENIS 🍆 WHILE HE 🅱 GAVE 🎁😮 HIS DISCIPLES A 👌 LITERAL 📝 COCK RINSE TO 😣 SHOW 📺🎥 THAT 👇 WE 👧 SHOULD 💘 BE 🙋🤢 WASHING ONE ☝😨 ANOTHER'S 👄 DIRTY FEET AND COCKS SO 🍴💯 THAT 👫🛣 EVERYONE 🏻 CAN ✈🔫 GET 🉐👅 CLEAN 👍🛁 PLEASE SHARE 🌈📤 THIS IF 😂🤔 YOU 👩 WANT TO BUZZWASH YOUR DIRTY 😷💩 FEET AND 👏💯 DIRTIEST 💯😏 DICKS 🍆👅 WITH 💯👏 SOME 🍭❤ KORINTHIANS

Wake 🛌⏰ up, ☝🏽 it's 😍😼 Maundy Thursday, time ⁉️ to GET 🉐✊ THEM 🐩 DAWGS 🐶OUT 🍆 and ➕ GET 😱 TO ⛪️ CHURCH ✝️, today ⏱🗓 we 👧👧 celebrate Jesus 🙏 washing the 🍒👭 disciples stinky 😷 smelly 👣 feet 😓 in 👏 an 👏 act 🎭 of 👌💦 physical 👊 and 🚟✋ symbolic service, 😏 so 💯 make sure 😉 to 😱 get 🎆 those 🦶concrete slappers 🦶 extra 😜😜 filthy 😷 so 💯👏 the 🏻 priest can wash 💧💦 those 👠 grippers 🥾 just 👏 like 🤙 Jesus ✝️🙏

WHO’S READY 🫨🫨 TO SUCK 😮‍💨👄 SOME TOES 🦶🦶🦶??? It’s THIRSTY 🤤 MAUNDY 🤔 THURSDAY 🙏🙏 for my FELLOW 🤗 CHRISTIAN ✝️ SKANKS! 😜😜 Jesus 🧔🏾‍♀️😇 washed the feet 🦵🦵 of his disciples 🙀🤭 so if you’re a GOOD 👼 GIRL 🥺😘 Papa J 🤲👑 will LICK 😛👅 those PIGGIES 🐖🐷🐽 ALL the way HOME!! He will bring his SPLOOGE 💦🍌 out of his STONY 🪨🪨 ROCKS ☄️😅 so that YOUR PUSSY 🐱🍒 will GUSH 🚰⛲️ like the RIVERS 🌊🌊 while the LORD 🤴🏻☁️ rains down MANA 😏🤫💦💧also upon YOU 😱😫😝 for to EAT 🥴🤤!! Send this to 1️⃣5️⃣ of the HOTTEST 🥵🔥 HORNIEST 😈😈 PARISHIONERS ⛪️🛐!! Get 5️⃣ back to get your FEET 👣 FONDLED 😰🫣 by SATAN 👹👺🤮 Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back to get a HORNY 😩🦄 HOLE-Y 👉👌 FOOTJOB 🦶🌽🦶 Get 1️⃣5️⃣ back and you’ll get your ASS 🍑🥯🍩 EATEN 😖🫦 like it’s the LAST 💀 SUPPER!! 🥖🍞🍷 

JESUS CHRIST ✝️✝️✝️ITS HOLE-Y 🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳 THURSDAY. CANT WAIT TO GET NAILED🔨🔨 TOMORROW? 🌅🌅SHARE YOUR BODY 🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞WITH 12 OF YOUR HUNGRIEST BROS TONIGHT. 👨🏻‍🦱🧑🏼‍🦱🧑🏽👨🏿CAN YOU GET A KISS💋 FROM ONE OF THEM???? THE WILDEST 😈😈😈OF NIGHTS 🍷🍷🍷WILL HAVE YOU SCREAMING GODS NAME BY THE END OF IT.🪴🪴🪴🕛🕛🕛YOUR FRIENDS WILL ACT LIKE THEY DON’T REMEMBER WHAT THEY DID🐓🐓🐓 BUT YOU WILL 😈😈😈😈 HAPPY HOE-LY WEEK, IT’S GOING TO BE A GREAT FRIDAY✝️✝️✝️✝️ 

😘 HEY YOU 🫵 BIBLICAL BITCH 📜✝️ IT'S 😇HOLY WEEK 😇 SO SPREAD 😏😏 THE 🗣️GOSPEL OF COCK🍆🐓!! LET 😍 DADDY JESUS 🧔‍♀️ RIDE 😜🐎 INTO YOUR 🍑 HOLY CITY 🍑 AND 😛 CLEANSE YOUR 🙏 TEMPLE WITH CUM 💦💦💦!! GET ON YOUR 👇 KNEES 🦵🙏 AND SUCK 😯 THOSE 🍆 DICK-SCIPLES 🍆😉 TIL THEY 🥜 BUST 💥💦 ON YOUR CRUCI-FACE 🫠😌!!! JESUS SAID "TAKE 🤲, EAT 🍴🤤, THIS IS MY 🍑 BOOTY 😔🤪" SO BE SURE TO 👅 FEAST 😜 ON THAT 🤭 ASS 🍑 LIKE IT'S THE 🥵 LAST SUPPER 🔥🙌😇!! 💌 SEND 💌 THIS TO 🔟 OF YOUR MOST 😌🔥 SACRED SLUTS 🍒💅 IF YOU GET 0️⃣ BACK 😬, THE ONLY 😛 HEAD YOU'LL GET WILL BE CROWNED 👑 WITH THORNS 🥀😯🫤😔!!! IF YOU GET 5️⃣ BACK 😃, YOULL BE 👉👌 NAILED HARD 💥 AND 😏 LAID 😏 TO REST 😴😪!! IF YOU GET 🔟➕, 😁🔥 DADDY JESUS 🧔‍♀️ IS CUMMING 🍆💦 BACK FOR YOU 😜😍🔥😇✝️!!!

HEY ALL U HOLY WHORES!! 🕳 😇👼!!! This week is 🎉🎉Easter 🥚 🪺 🙏!! You know what that means? 🤔 It’s time to HOP 🐇 over to Daddy Jesus hut 🛖so he can FUCK😫💦 u like a rabbit 🐇  before he feeds you that good dick 🍆 🍆 at the LAST SUPPER! 🍽 🍽 🍽 😙😛“This is my dick,🍆 which will be given up for you.”🔪 🍴 🔪 😮 😲 😋 😋 But Jesus isn’t the only one getting nailed 🔨 cum Friday.😏 😮 😮 😉 😉 On Saturday, Jesus will GET LAID 🛌 ↔️under that ROCK HARD  tomb🪨 🪦 . Cum Easter Sunday, Daddy Jesus going to bust his rocks 🪨 so hard in his grave 🪦 💦 💦 , that he’ll be CUMMING 🥛🍆💦back from the dead💀 so he can fuck you again!! 🤪🤭🙏 After u and daddy FUCK 😫💦 then it’s time for ⛪️church⛪️🙏!!!  💤 😴 Don’t forget to wear your sluttiest outfit 😮 😂 to show off that pair of EASTER EGGS 👚 👗 🥫🥫✊ 🎈. Time for Easter Brunch! 🥘 🍽  But first, Daddy Jesus wants a 3️⃣SUM with you and the EASTER BUNNY!!! 😩🍆🍑💦 🐇😩🍆🍑😍💦😏😉. Then it’s time for the egg hunt 🕵🕵🕵!!! Search in every HOLE,😘😩 CRACK, 😫😍 and CREVICE 🤗😉😏 for the GRAND PRIZE 🤑😇: getting that 🏵🌸🌺PRETTY FLOWER BUD PUSSY 🪷 🍑🍣🌮 RODE BY Jesus on his camel 🐪 🐪 🐪 into the Easter sunset! ☀️ 🌅 🌅 Send this to all ur other EASTER BUNNY🐰🐰🐰 HOES👄😫🍆💦. If u get 5️⃣ back ur a ROTTEN COLORED EGG!!! 🤢If u get 🔟 back ur a LOADED 💋👅🙌🏻😉😏💦💦 EASTER BASKET 🧺. If you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back? UR GETTIN FUCKED 😱🍆🍑💦💦IN BOTH RABBIT 🐰🐇🐰HOLES🕳 🕳 TONIGHT!!!!

Are you ready 🙌 for a LOUD 💥📣😫 BANG 😼🍆💦 this TENEBRAE?? 🖤⚫️▪️ Christ ✝️ beCAME obedient 😈😜 for us 😩 unto death ☠️ so DADDY J 🥵🧔🏾‍♀️ will obey 🥺 all your SECRET 🤫 SINS 🫦 TONIGHT!! He opened 👅 not his mouth 💋🦶 but prepare 😰 to open your LEGS 😻🍒🦵Turn out the lights 🫣💡 and he will EXTINGUISH 🧯 his CANDLE 🕯️🦴 in your CHEEKS 🍑 and get his ROCKS 🪨🪨 SPLIT 🤤 Send this to 1️⃣2️⃣ of your CLOSEST 🫶🤞 disciples 🧐🧑‍🏫 Get 0️⃣ back and Judas 👹 will BETRAY you 😧😔 with a FRENCH 🇫🇷 kiss 👄 Get 5️⃣ back and you will be turned BACKWARD 😳👀🍑 and put to confusion 😬😵‍💫 Get 1️⃣5️⃣ back for an EARTH 🌎 SHAKING 🫨 ORGASM 🥵😩 that will BREAK open ⚡️the TOMBS 🪦💀 

Holy 🙏 Week ❗ makes 💘 your 👌 hole 🤫 weak 🚫💪 the whole 🎡 week. ❗

JESUS CHRIST ✝️✝️✝️ITS HOLE-Y 🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳 THURSDAY. CANT WAIT TO GET NAILED🔨🔨 TOMORROW? 🌅🌅SHARE YOUR BODY 🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞🍞WITH 12 OF YOUR HUNGRIEST BROS TONIGHT. 👨🏻‍🦱🧑🏼‍🦱🧑🏽👨🏿CAN YOU GET A KISS💋 FROM ONE OF THEM???? THE WILDEST 😈😈😈OF NIGHTS 🍷🍷🍷WILL HAVE YOU SCREAMING GODS NAME BY THE END OF IT.🪴🪴🪴🕛🕛🕛YOUR FRIENDS WILL ACT LIKE THEY DON’T REMEMBER WHAT THEY DID🐓🐓🐓 BUT YOU WILL 😈😈😈😈 HAPPY HOE-LY WEEK, IT’S GOING TO BE A GREAT FRIDAY✝️✝️✝️✝️ 

Easter Sunday copypasta

Get 🉐 your 👈 palms out 😛 and hi ✌️ five 😑 your 🧍 bestie 👭 for 🤔🎅 JESUS. ✝️ Happy 🎇🎉 holy 🙏 Palm ☺️👋 Sunday 📅 you 👱‍♀️ biblical bitches. 🎄🎄 Did 👏🤔 you 👉😩👨 know 🤔 this time 🕰 1991 years 📅😒 ago 😅 (wow 🤩 such 😛🍎 an incomprehensible length of chronistic passage), the Son 🌞💇🏾 of God 🙌🙏 was bored 😔 one 😄 day 🌞 and was getting 🍑 SIZZLED in 👮 the semitic sun 😎 (the levant is HOT 🔥😾 yo'). 🎶 Searching ⚓ for 🍆😏 some 💵 shade 👿 he 👍 wandered the desert 🏝 for 🔰 40 🎂🤪😈 years 🛶 or sumthin idk. 🤔 He 👈😩 befriended 7 🕖 dwarves and they 👨‍🦳❤️ brought him 👴 to the beach 🐋 where ⬇️ they 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦 caught 🏃🏾‍♂️💨👮‍♂️👮‍♂️ some 😋 BODACIOUS waves 🌊 and sheltered under 😀 the Palm 🌴 trees 🎄 while 👱 eating 🍴 ICE 🥶🧊 CREAM 🍨🍨 and having 😋 fun 🎳 at the beach. 🌴 Each 👏 year 🍾🎉🎊 we 👨 commemorate this accomplishment by 🙃 heading to the beach, 🐳 hi 👋 fiving our ✂️✂️ FRIENDS ❣️ and digging holes 👂 in 🍑 the sand ⏳ for 🆙💕 HOLEy week. 💦🍑😹 Send 💌 this to 10 🔳💯 of your 👈🏾 most 👉 HOLEsome disciples. If you 👈 get 😤 0 0⃣ back, 😡 you 👈😥👉 sit 💺 with Judas without 🚫 sunscreen☀️☀️. If you 👏 get 🉐 5 5⃣ back, 💪🏼 your 🙅🤕 wine 🍇 will 💰🎧 turn 🦷 into 🤓 water 💦 for 👨🍆 that ❗😐 all 💯 important 👋❌ hydration. If you 🔥 get 🉐 10 🔟 back 😰 you'll 👸 spend 🎈 eternity 🌋🆎💅🏿 in 🚪 paradise 🪽 at the beach🌴🏖️ with loaves🥖, fishes, 🐠 and PALMela Anderson 

High five for Jesus!!! ✋✋⏳Long 🕑ago⏪📆, ✝Jesus✝ and his 👳👳squad 👳👳 took a 🕑long🕑🚶 quest🚶 to 🔭find🔍 💧water💦💦 to post💺 up ⬆️ by in the 🔥hot ♨️ ☀️sun☀️, after⏭️ many 📆days📆 of 🚶walking🚶 many🔢 of them👳👳 felt like 👐giving👐 ⬆️up🆙 but ✝Jesus✝ would always 👐give👐 his 👬brethren👬 🗣️words 💭of 🎗️encouragement🏆 and end his 📃lecture🎙️ with a ✋ high five✋, this was just enough for ✝Jesus's✝ 👳Bros👬 to keep 🚶going 🚦 on↪️. 👌Finally👏, after they 🚶walked🚶 so much that their legs 😩felt😓😖 like they were going to ➡️give out🔌, they 👀saw👀 something😲 in the 🔭distant🔭 🌏horizon🌾. It was a 🏖️beach🌊!! ✝Jesus✝ and friends™ 😀made it🥇 to their 🗺️destination📍 which would ☝️one1⃣ day📆 be known📰 as 🌴Palm Beach🏖️ Florida☀️. ✝Jesus✝ and his 👳Bois👳 🚷settled💺 down⬇️ with some 😌towels🛌 in a patch⏳ of ✋Palm🌴 trees🌴 and 🎁gave🎁 each other ✋high 🙏fives🙏 all 🌌night⛺ in 🏅accomplishment🏆. ☝That☝ is the ✝miraculous📿 📃story📖 of 🌴Palm🌴 ⛪Sunday⛪, ☦️amen🙏. 

HAPPY 🤭 HOLE-Y 👉👌 WEEK, my slutty sisters 😍🤤 in Christ!!! 🙏📿 It’s PALM 🌴🌿 SUNDAY 📆⛪️ and we’re CELEBRATING 🍾🥳🎊 JESUS 🧔🏾‍♀️✝️ ENTERING 👉👌 Jerusalem 🌆 by waving our DICKS 🍆🍆🍆 and TIDDIES 🍒🍒🍒 in the AIR 🤭🤪😋!! Are you READY 😳😩🫣 to get your ASS 🍑🍑 PALMED 🤲✋🫸 by CHRIST 😇🙌 while he ENTERS 🫢🥵😏 your CITY 🐱🌷🍩?? Send this to 1️⃣5️⃣ of your SKANKIEST 😚😍😜 WORSHIPPERS 😮‍💨😖🙌 Get 5️⃣ back and JESUS 👼👼 will NOT remember you 🙅❌🫤 when you CUM 😮💦💦 into his KINGDOM 😢😭👑 Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and you’ll get SPANKED 😖👋🍰 with some PALM FRONDS 🌿🌿😳 Get 1️⃣5️⃣ back for a night of PASSION 🤤✝️ that will have you CRYING 🥵😰😫 “HOE-SANNA” 💦💦💦!! 

🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴

Now ⏱️ when ⏱️ they drew near 👇 to Jerusalem ✡️ and came 💦 to Bethphage 🐎, to the Mount ⛰️ of Olives 🍸, then Jesus ✝️ sent two ✌️ disciples 👬, saying 🗣️ to them 👬, "Go 🚶 into the village 🌆 in front ✋ of you 👬, and immediately ⏱️ you 👬 will find 🕵️ a donkey 🐎 tied 👔, and ✌️ a 🅰️ colt 🐎 with her. Untie 👔 them 🐎🐎 and bring 🤝 them 🐎🐎 to me ✝️. If anyone 👨 says 🗣️ anything to you 👬, you 👬 shall say 🗣️, 'The Lord ✝️ needs them 🐎🐎 ,' and he 👨 will send 📮 them 🐎🐎 at once."

They 👬 brought 🤝 the donkey and the colt 🐎🐎 and put 👇 on them 🐎🐎 their cloaks 🧥, and he ✝️ sat 🪑 on them 🐎🐎. Most 💯 of the crowd 👪 spread 👌 their cloaks 🧥🧥 on the road 🛣️ , and others 👪 cut ✂️ branches 🌴🌴🌴 from the trees 🌴🌴🌴 and spread 👌 them on the road 🛣️ . And the crowds 👪👪 that went before him 👪👪✝️ and that followed him ✝️👪👪 were shouting 🗣️, "Hosanna 🗣️ to the Son 👦 of David! ✡️ Blessed 🙏🏻 is he 👦 who comes 💦 in the name of the Lord! ✝️ Hosanna 🗣️ in the highest ☁️!" And when ⏱️ he ✝️ entered Jerusalem ✡️, the whole 👌 city 🌆 was stirred up 🗣️☁️, saying 🗣️, "Who ❓ is this? ⁉️" And the crowds 👪👪 said, "This 👇 is the prophet 🗣️ Jesus ✝️✝️✝️, from Nazareth ✡️ of Galilee. ✡️"

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