The Severance world is surrealist. It's odd, fantastic, dreamlike, even nightmarish. There are elements that are bizarre, kafkaesque. There are elements of magical realism. Things just are the way they are because that is the nature of this world. It's familiar and similar to our world but it's askew. It is not our world. People talk of plausibilities forgetting that a hill covered in goats in an office building would not have been considered plausible yet there it is. Too many people seem not to realize they are walking through a funhouse mirror maze, a Twilight Zone reality, not your own reality. Understanding this very basic fact is imperative to understanding the show.
Me and some friends got high and went out. We found a fat looking rat and we picked him up. We played with him and made him dance. After we were done with him I threw him against a fucking wall and he exploded. I love rats and I would never hurt one. Xanax made me throw a rat. So in his memory im gonna write a song called "splat rat"
R.I.P. splat rat😔🕊
Update: I will share the song once its done
Started from a HLTV thread somewhere in 2016 during Fanatic era of CSGO, its now a classic CS copypasta due to how satirical it sounds.
Olofmeister
is it me or is olofmeister a bit of a boring player
like u see it at the end of the game "oh wow olof has 32 kills" but u can never remember them.
can u remember a single olof kill ?
but try guardian...u can see the flick i remember a guardian flick.
NAF
is it me or is NAF a bit of a boring player
like u see it at the end of the game "oh wow sloth has 32 kills" but u can never remember them.
can u remember a single sloth kill ?
but try guardian...u can see the flick i remember a guardian flick.
Zywoo
is it me or is zywoo a bit of a boring player
like u see it at the end of the game "oh wow zywoo has 32 kills" but u can never remember them.
can u remember a single zywoo kill ?
but try s1mple...u can see the flick i remember a s1mple flick.
Benson Boone is the anti-Trump, his existence as an insanely talented unapologetically queer man who grew up Mormon is an act of resistance in itself, but gifting us a song like this during a week like we've had is honestly revolutionary. Thank youuuu powers that be for the absolute deluge of beautiful art lately, we neeeeed it 🫠😭✨️💖
Stand ready for my arrival, worm. You were given orders. You were given time. You were given more leeway than most, and yet, I find this planet unprepared for the arrival of our Viltrum Empire. The Empire anticipated your resistance, which is why they sent me. I am Conquest, and I am your last chance to fulfill your duty.
I am so lonely
Its from Invincible S3E08 where the villain Conquest confessed about his loneliness before trying to killing Mark.
I am so lonely. All the other Viltrumites are scared of me. No one talks to me. No one wants to be my friend. They think I am unstable. They send me from planet to planet, committing atrocities in their name. And as i get better at it they fear me more and more. I am a victim of my own success. Conquest. I don't even get a real name. Only a purpose. I am capable of so much more and no one sees it. Some days I feel so alone I could cry, but I don't. I never do. Because what would be the point. Not a single person in the entire universe would care. Take it to your grave.
I am so lonely. All the other Viltrumites are scared of me. No one talks to me. No one wants to be my friend, they think I am unstable. They send me from planet to planet committing atrocities in their name. And as I get better at it, they fear me more and more… I am a victim of my own success. Conquest… I don’t even get a real name, only a purpose. I am capable of so much more and no one sees it. Some days I feel so alone I could cry but I don’t, I never do, because what would be the point? Not a single person in the entire universe would care. … Take it to your grave.
The truth is… I want you to resist
The truth is... I want you to resist. I'm not here to save you. I'm not here to spread the greatness of the Viltrum Empire. I'm here because I enjoy this. See, to me, there is no greater pleasure than feeling the warmth of my fist... drenched in blood.
⛪SAINT ⛪PATTY'S 🌤️DAY IS 💦CUMMING💦 UP SO YOU BETTER GET YOUR 🍯POT🍯 OF GOLD🏅 READY FOR 🏃♂️DADDY'S 🍆BANGER🍆 BECAUSE HE'S💁♂️ BEEN WAITIN ALL 🎊YEAR💦 TO MAKE SOME MASH🥔. SO GRAB YOUR 🍺🍻🍺, SLAP ON YOUR SLUTTY 💚✅GREEN💚 OUTFIT,👗 AND GET ⏬⏬⏬ UNDER THE 🌈 SEND THIS TO 20 OF YOUR 🔥🔥🔥 CROTCHED BITCHES AND IF YOU GET 5 BACK AND YOU'RE AN IRISH🌹🍷👠 THOTTIE. GET 🔟 BACK AND YOU'LL TASTE😋 THE CUMMIE💦🌈 RAINBOW. GET 15 BACK AND YOU'RE A 💯TRUE💯 4🍀 LEAF😈 HOVER😫😘🤗👄.
What's❓ 💁up ⬆️👋👋 you 🍀Lepre-CUM 👅👅😩🍆💦guzzlers? It's 🍆🍀Saint PatDICK's 🍀👉👌day, so get ready to ireLEND your fellow hoe the 🐍🐢🐛green 🌵🍀paint if you're ready to get 👌🙀PINCHED 😫👌in the 🌈🍀ST PATTY's 🍀🌈 🐱PUSSY. 🐱IT's TIME TO BLOW 💨👅💦on daddy's BAGPIPES, let him eat 🍝🍝🍝👅your 🍀CLOVER COOCHIE🍀, and get rainBONED 🍆😩💦🌈👏👏in your pot of 🏵🏅🥇GOLD⚜️🔱💰 tonight because you have the FUCK OF THE IRISH🤹♀️ on ur side. Send this to 17 of your LUCKIEST HOES 💁💁🏻💁🏼💁🏽💁🏾💁🏿who you 🤔think can lure out daddy's SNAKE 🐍🐍 tonight 🙀😻🤤😩
ASS🍑CLAPPY SAINT FAT🪵DICKS DAY☘️! SLÁINTE🍻 to all my 🖤GUINNUSSY🖤 GUZZLERS🚰😋 and GAY🐧 GaeilgWHORES🇮🇪! It’s time🗓 to SUCK😗 on some SHAMC☘️CK shakes🥤 and SERVE💁♀️ that LUCK-FILLED🤞 LepreCUNT🌈💰! Get on your knees🧎♂️ and PRAY🙏 for DADDY👴 PADDY☘️ to drive all the 🖐LONGEST🤚 SNAKES🐍 into your HIBERNIAN BUSSY🐈! And DON’T FORGET to take a selfie🤳 whilst SLOBBERING🤤 on a SHILLELAGH like a SULTRY💋 SHAMROCK SLUT☘️💚! Send this💌 to ALL your green-clad GIRLS♀️, GAYS🐧, and THEYS🐌. If you get 0️⃣ back, sorry, you BOMBED💣💅! If you get 4️⃣ back, SOMEONE’S OUT TO BUTTER YOUR SODA BREAD🧈😋! If you get 3️⃣2️⃣ back, UNCLE🥤 O’GRIMACEY🟢 will appear in your dreams TONIGHT🕴😴, and GUSH🌊 a GREEN RIVER inside you😩 with his CAMÁN-SIZED COCK🐓!
🇮🇪HAPPY☘️TAINT💩SHAT🍆DICKS🇮🇪DAY✨🍺👇🏼TODAY WE 🫦FEAST ON 🛐SAINT✝️⚱️PATRICKS 🍯POT OF GOLD🍯🌟TASTE 👅 HIS RAINBOW 🌈 AND TAKE 🧑🏼🦰😶A GOLDEN SHOWER💦 IN CELEBRATION 🙌🏽🎉OF IRISH👩🏻🦰🇮🇪 FOLK-WHORE🫢🍻LIKE 😳SHAMCOCKS ☘️🐍REPRESENTING🙏🏼 THE HOLE-Y 👉🏼👌🏼TRINITY 🫂👤SO 🤑MAKE LIKE A CHICAG-HOE 🌃 AND DYE YOUR 💧💚RIVER 😏🩲GREEN☘️💚 UNLESS YOU 🫵🏼👀WANNA😩 GET PINCHED🤏🏼😵KISS 💋AN IRISHMAN👨🏻🦰AND BLOW 💨😮ON HIS 🪈BAGPIPES👅SEND 💌THIS TO 1️⃣0️⃣ OF YOUR 🌈LEPRI-CUNTS 🧝🏼FOR GOOD FORTUNE🤞🏼🇮🇪☘️IF YOU DONT ⛔️🙅🏼GET 1️⃣0️⃣BACK YOU’RE🥺A LEPRI-CHUMP 👎🏼
HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY HOES!!🍀🍀🍀🍀💚on this 🗓day in history we 🤔remember our ST PADDY DADDY!! 👴🏼💚💚💚💚💦💦 this means it is time to 👅👅lick some lucky LEPRECHAUN 🍑ASS🍑!!! 😘you better wear some 🟢green 🟢so you dont get PINCHED👌👌 on the 😜PUSSY today! 💃🍆💦Send this to 1️⃣5️⃣ of your 😏sluttiest 🍀shamrock🍀 bitches👯♀️ or you wont get any 🟢GREEN 🟢DICK 💚🍆💚🍀tonight😭😭 If you get 5️⃣ back youre a little 🤢corned 🤢beef 🤢hoe😩😩 If you get 🔟 back youre st paddys princess👸👸 If you get 1️⃣5️⃣ back st 🍀paddy🍀 daddy 👴🏼 will give you his 👀huge😏 pot of gold tonight💰💰💰🍆💦💦👅👅
😘HAPPY 😊🤗 SKANK 🤪🤪PatDICKS 🍆💦💦🍺 day you green 🟩🟢 clover 🍀 HOE 😫🤯😜 Paint your 💚☘️CLOVER 🍀💚COOCHIE 🍑💦 💦💦 green for the 🤞🤞🤞😉FUCK OF THE IRISH 💦😫👅 or DADDY 💰🍆won't rainBONE 🌈👏🏻👀 your ST ✝️ PADDYS 👨🏼🦰PUSSY 🍑🍑🥵💋 💋💋💋💋💋
Today's 📆 the day to get your 🍆COCK🍆 of ✨✨GOLD✨✨ at the end of the 🌈🌈💦rainHOE💦 Daddy's 😈💰👁️LOOKING 👁️👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀for his SAINT 🙏🛐🧎♂️➡️PADDYS✨ PRINCESS ✨💋💅👑👸to give his LUCKY 🎰 four4️⃣ leaf 🍀☘️🍀shamCOCK🍆 🍆🍆💦💦to. STRAP ON🍒💄🌹💋 your ‼️RED ‼️Irish beard 👺👹👹🔴🧔🏼 and get ready to stroke 🥵 🥵🥵daddies lepreCOCK 🍆🍆🍆all the way to the END 🔚🔚of the 🌈🌈🌈SLUTSbow🎀🎀👒🌈🌈🌈🌈
SEND THIS to 13.7 of your favorite 🤩🥰😍😍😍😍😍😍😻lepreCUM GUZZLERS 🌊💦💦💦💦💦💦to catch 👨🏻🦰👨🏻🦰McDADDY👨🏻🦰👨🏻🦰 by 👏the 🦶toe 🦶and BLOW💨💨💨💨 his BAGPIPES🪈
👋 HEY YOU 🇮🇪
🇮🇪 🫦 🎩 SHAMROCK 🎩 SLUTS 🫦‼️ HOEping to get 🍀LUCKY🍀 this 🐢St. PatDICK'S Day?🍀? Want someone to rub you for luck🔮? ✳️Maybe put their🐍 shamCOCK🍀shake in your pot of GOLD?! 💎 🌈
🍀🍀🍀🍀💚on this 🗓day in history we 🤔remember our ST PADDY DADDY!! 👴🏼💚💚💚💚💦💦 this means it is time to 👅👅lick some lucky LEPRECHAUN 🍑ASS🍑!!! 😘you better wear some 🟢green 🟢so you dont get PINCHED👌👌 on the 😜PUSSY today! 💃🍆💦Send this to 1️⃣5️⃣ of your 😏sluttiest 🍀shamrock🍀 bitches👯♀️ or you wont get any 🟢GREEN 🟢DICK 💚🍆💚🍀tonight😭😭 If you get 5️⃣ back youre a little 🤢corned 🤢beef 🤢hoe😩😩 If you get 🔟 back youre st paddys princess👸👸 If you get 1️⃣5️⃣ back st 🍀paddy🍀 daddy 👴🏼 will give you his 👀huge😏 pot of gold tonight💰💰💰🍆💦💦👅👅
HAPPY 😜🤗 ST PATDICKS 🍀🍆🍺 DAY YOU HORNY CUMSLUTS 😜💦 SHAMROCK 🍀 SHAKE DAT ASS FOR PAPI👏🏼👅🍑 DONT DRINK THAT BEER 😳🙅🏻🍺 DRINK DADDY'S LUCKY CUMMIES👅💦😋 RIDE THE RAINBOW 🌈🏃🏽 LIKE YOU'D RIDE THIS DICK 🍆🍑😳 AND LAND 🛬 NEXT TO THIS YEAR'S 📅 POT OF GOLD 💪🏼💰WHICH IS A BIG BLACK COCK 😜🍆 BUT IT WONT BE YOURS; YOU'LL BE OUT OF LUCK 😳❌ IF YOU DON'T SHARE THIS WITH 10 OTHER ZADDIES 😤😩 WHO WOULD WANT THEIR POCKET DOWNSTAIRS 😉😏👇🏼🍑 FILLED 💦👀
☘️ Happy St. PatDiCK's DAY 🍆👋 you 🍀SHAMROCK SLUTS 😫🍀👉👌IT's TIME TO BLOW 💨👅💦on Daddy's 👨🏻🦰 BAGPIPES, let him eat 🍝🍝👅your 🍀CLOVER COOCHIE🍀, and get rainBONED 🦴🍆😩💦🌈👏👏 in your pot of 🏵🏅🥇GOLD⚜️🔱💰😍
Saint 🙏 Daddy Patty 👨🏼🦰 was originally a R-HOE-man 🏛️🏺who was captured 🦹♂️ by CUNT-ic 👨🏻🎤👩🏻🎤 raiders who brought 🌊🚣him to Ireland 🇮🇪 ☘️ and made him a SEX 💦🍑 SLAVE ⛓️for 6️⃣ SLUTTY YEARS💦 ⏱️ He escaped 🏃♂️💨😥 but CAME BACK 💦😋 to cast all the snakes 🐍 🐍🐍 OUT 👉 of Ireland and to MISSIONARY 🕴️🍆💦 all the Irish ☘️ Poon for himself 😍💦👯♀️👩🏻🦰🧑🏻🦰👩🏻🦰🧑🏻🦰
He🫰used the shamrock 🫴☘️ to explain 🗣️ the 🕳️Holy 🕳️THOTTery🕳️ of Daddy 👨🏼🦰, Twink 🧑🏻🦰 & Holy SUCK-it 🌬️💦😋. And converted ♻️ all the Pagan 🧙🏼🧙🏻♀️🧙🏼PotatHOES 🥔👯🥔to believe in the ultimate ✨Daddy - JESUS 😍 ✝️🧎♀️
Now, every March 1️⃣7️⃣, we get rowdy 🤪🎉 and slutty 🍆😏 and FUCK 💦👉👌MISSIONARY 🦵🏻☘️🦵🏻just like ST DADDY PATTY 🫃✨👨🍼☘️ and the Pagan 🧙🏼🧙🏼PotatHOES 🥔
🗣️ Get ready 🏃♂️🏃♀️💨 for Daddy 👨🏼🦰 Patty's banger 🍆🍆 because he's been 👀 waiting 💁♂️ alllll year ⌚️👀 to make some MASH 🍆🥔🍦🤤😍. So grab some Guinness 🍻🍺🍻 and put on your SLUTTIEST 🫦💃🏻 green ☘️💚 outfit 👗 (OR ESLSE ⚠️ 🙅♂️ you'll get PINCHED 👌🤕 IN THE PRICK 🙇🍆👌🏻) and GET ⏬⏬ UNDER the rainbow 🌈 to guzzle on some LEPRE-CUM 🌈 💦👅 😛🤤🤹♂️🤹♂️ ☘️
Send this 📩 to 1️⃣7️⃣ of 🐍☘️❇️ your SLUTTIEST LUCKY 🍀 👯♀️👯👯♂️ bitches this📗 St. Patrick's Day 🤹♀️🧚🏽😍. If you get 0️⃣ back, you will have BAD LUCK 😭😭 and die 👻 in the next ⏭️ PotatHOE famine 🥔 😔💀🪦 Get 5️⃣ back 😌 and you're a Slutty ☘️ little Laddie Baddie 💋👯♀️ Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back 😎and Daddy Patty 👨🏼🦰 will be bangin 🔨 your mash 🍆🤤🍦 all over the rainbow 💦🌈 Get 1️⃣7️⃣ back 😍 and you're the ULTIMATE IRA 🔫🔫 PRINCESS 👸🏻 FIGHTING FOR IRISH ☘️🇮🇪 FREEDOM ✊WITH THAT BOMB 🧨💣 FIRECROTCH ❤️🔥🧑🏻🦰👩🏻🦰 CLOVER COOCHIE ☘️☘️💦🤤😍✊☘️🍀💚🍻🍺🇮🇪💚💚💚💚☘️💚😍😍
Happy 😀 SLUTS 👌🍆💦💦💦Patrick's day 🍀 you sexy 💋Irish 🇮🇪 potaHOE.🥔 If you're looking 👀 to get lucky 🍀🏆 and have daddy's 👅 shamerCOCK 🍀🍆in your Pot of Gold 🌈🥇tonight, make sure you DON'T wear green 👕♼🙅so he can pinch👌😳
Be sure to send this to 10 of your luckiest 🍀 potaHOES 🥔
Get 0-4 back you're stuck in the great Irish 🇮🇪 potatHOE 🛇🥔 famine of 1845
Get 5-9 back you're a red head with skill in bed🛏😈
Get 10-19 back you're a leprachaun of loving💗
Get 20+ back your SLUT Patrick's 🍀 personal snake 🐍 charmer 💖
Hoping to get 🍀LUCKY🍀 this 🐢St. Patrick's Day?🍀? Want someone to rub you for luck🔮? ✳️Maybe put their🐍 shamrock🍀shake in your pot of gold?✳️ I sent this to you because🐸 you're🌵 one of my 🌳LUCKIEST 🌱 hoes!!!!!!!!
Send this🔋 to TEN of 🈯️your SLUTTIEST LUCKY bitches this📗 St. Patrick's Day🍏. You know,🍃 the ones 💚that are big sluts but✅are lucky enough 🐲not to catch an STD!!!!!!❇️ If you don't🌴 send 💹this ♻️around to 🐊10 sluts you'll have BAD LUCK and contract❎ 6 STDs in the 🌲next 24 hours!😈 I BETTER get one 🌿back!🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀
ON TOP OF THE ☀️ BONIN ☀️ TO YE. 🍀 🍀🍆 HAPPY ST PATDICK'S DAY. 🍆 🍀 🍀BOUNCE THIS 🎲 LUCKY 🎲 🇮🇪LEPRECHAUN 🇮🇪ON YOUR 🤸🤸🤸LAP🤸 🤸🤸FOUR TIMES IF YOU WANT TO 👅👅TASTE 👅 👅 HIS 🌈 🌈🌈POT OF GOLD. 🌈 🌈🌈 DON'T 🇮🇪 IRISH 🇮🇪 👋🏻 ON THIS 🐱🐱🐱💦PUSSY 💦🐱 🐱🐱 BECAUSE THIS CROTCH IS 🔥FIRE🔥I'LL 👄SUCK 👄A BOTTLE OF🍺 🍻 GUINNESS 🍻 🍺 THROUGH A 👅STRAW 👅4 YOUR 🍀🎰🎰LUCKY CHARMS🍀🎰🎰 FIND A MAN THAT WILL🧎🏼♀️ BEND 🧎🏼♀️YOU OVER AND PLUCK THAT 🍀CLOVER🍀TELL HIM IT'S ALWAYS 💄SLUTTY💄 IN 💪🏻PUMPADELPHIA.💪🏻ALL GOOD LITTLE CATHOLICS DESERVE A 🕳HOLE-Y 🕳3️⃣TRINITY3️⃣IF YOU WANT YOUR 🌈LUCKY 🌈CHARMS PINCHED DON'T WEAR 💚GREEN💚BECAUSE TODAY WE CELEBRATE THAT ☘️SHAMROCK ☘️ SHAKE. IF YOU WANT LUCK TO CUM IN 3️⃣SOMES, TELL HIM AND HIS 👨👨👦👦JAME-SONS👨👨👦👦TO 💦CUM💦 OVER AND TASTE THE 🌈 🌈🌈
IF YOU'RE FAERY 🌋 HORNY 🌋SEND THIS TO 10 🎰LUCKY 🎰EIRE HOES THAT WANT THAT 🚿🪙GOLDEN COIN SHOWER. 🚿🪙
Happy SLUTS 👌🍆💦💦💦Patrick's day 🍀 you sexy 💋Irish 🇮🇪 potaHOE.🥔 If you're looking to get daddy's 👅 shamerCOCK 🍀🍆in your Pot of Gold 🌈🥇tonight, make sure you DON'T wear green 👕♼🙅so he can pinch👌😳 you all over
Get 0 back you're stuck in the great Irish 🇮🇪 potatHOE 🛇🥔 famine of 1845
Get 10 back you're a leprachaun of loving
Get 20 back your SLUT Patrick's personal snake 🐍 charmer 💖
Fun SAINT PATRICK'S 🍀☘️DRINKING 🍶🥂🍻🍺🥃🍷🍾🍹🍸GAME💯🔥💯🔥! Every 🕛🕑🕕🕘hour, take a SHOT... of 6-8 fluid oz of 💧☔️WATER🔥🔥🔥 to stay 🙌🏻HEALTHY & HYDRATED. 💧WATER is a vital part of a 👌🏿HEALTHY 👌🏿ASS 👌🏿IMMUNE 👌🏿SYSTEM. This is because 👅💧💧water oxygenates your 🙀BLOOD, 😻flushes TOXINS, 😺helps the production of LYMPH (wtf?), keeps your 👀👁EYES and 👅👄MOUTH clean, and helps you digest 🥘🍣🍝GOOD MF FOOD💩💩💩. In addition, your body USES 🏊🏽WATER in all its CELLS, ORGANS, and TISSUES to help regulate its 🤒😷TEMPERATURE and maintain OTHER bodily FUNCTIONS. Because your body LOSES 💧💧WATER through BREATHIN, 😰😓SWEATIN, and DIGESTION, it's important to RE-MF-💯-HYDRATE by DRANKIN 🐋FLUIDS and 🍉🍏🍎🥒🍍🥝🥑EATIN FOOD that contain 🐳🐳W A T E R🍆🥒🥕🌽🥜🌰🍠🥔. Happy drinking!💯❤🍀🔥
ITS FINALLY 🙏 MARCH 🍀😏 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS 👒 Happy Saint PatDICKS 💦🍆🍌 Day 😍 It’s that time of year ✔️📅 to put on your sluttiest Irish jig 🎻🎶 and find 🔎 a WHORE leaf clover 🙊😝 Once upon a time 🕔 Saint Patdick CAME💦👄 from Ireland and found a pot of pussy 🐈💒 at the end of the rainHOE 😛🌈 Send this to 1⃣5⃣ of your skankiest St. Paddy'day daddys 👃👀🔥 Get none ⛔️ back youre a leprechaun🍻 lard 😂😷 get 5 back you’re a baked 🍁 cabbage savage🍞🙇 Get 🔟 back and you’re a lucky leprechaun 😲😏SEND ➡️📬 this in 69 ♋️seconds 🕟🕒 or you will not ❌ be getting any 🙅 shamCOCK in 2025
