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I can’t deal with Reno anymore

    Parody of the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Reno from Hearthstone for being the strongest neutral card. 

    I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Reno. I try to play Demon Hunter. My board gets cleared by Reno. I try to play Rogue. My board gets cleared by Reno. I try to play Sargeras. The portal gets cleared by Reno. I want to play Druid. The best deck has Reno. I want to play Mage, Warrior. They both use Reno.

He grabs me by the throat. I update my deck. I shove excavate cards in the ETC. He isn't satisfied. "Make your deck highlander" he tells me. "You need the board control in the end game." He removes the second Sleet Skater from my Mage deck. "You just need to have me on turn 9. I can wipe the enemy board."

I lose the ladder game, I can't survive until turn 9 to play him. He sits around in my hand. My hero explodes. "Guess this is the end." He tips his hat at me. "Looking for a standoff? Careful-" There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, one-sided board clear. What a cruel world

    Stanley Parable Ninth Skip Rant

      From the Skip Button Ending for Stanley Parable where the narrator goes on a long rant after the 9th push of the Skip button.

       ...but they didn't understand the game was never meant to be funny! It was meant to have a point! It was meant to speak to the human condition! "But where are the jokes? Where are the jokes?" they bemoaned, they screamed. They gnashed their teeth and said "Entertain us!" It wasn't enough. They had to leave a pathetic little thumbs-down review and make all of their pitiful demands.

But then: "He's talking too much," they said! First he didn't entertain us, now he won't shut up! It's the inconsistency! It's the lack of accountability! It's the unwillingness to examine with an uncompromising heart the words that they are speaking into the world. As though there were no consequences for a lack of cohesion in one's assessment of others!

But of course, absolutely anyone can leave a review, so here's what we get! We get these demands that seek everything and are accountable to nothing. We get a world where someone will say "Ohh, there should be a skip button! You should be able to freeze Stanley in place while the narrator sits there forever and ever! We want all of this in the new Stanley Parable, we demand it!"

And then, because it was said, because it was spoken, now it simply has to happen! The most immediate desires, every single thing demanded by every person at every moment in time - if someone wants it then it's a crime not to bring it into being? Have we been given to indulging every fleeting whim for no reason other than to do so? Yes, yes!

It seems that this is now the world we live in! It seems that we are a people living in such bleakness and discomfort with ourselves that our entertainment is now our lives! It has come to represent us! It absolutely must speak to who we are as people!

Because otherwise, without our entertainment, we have nothing! Without entertainment, we would have to face inward toward the cruel bleakness inside ourselves. We would turn to look at our deeper nature and find a resounding emptiness gazing back with unyielding aggression.

And so - so because of this - we require that our amusements, and our play things, and our flights of fancy be so impossibly captivating, that they consume all of our attention, turn our heads completely away from the bleakness! In effect, we have demanded that our entertainment be the collapse of ourselves.

What a pitiful reflection of humanity these entertainments are! What a shameful mirror to the human spirit they project! I'm not mad. I'm not mad about any of this. I'm at peace with it. I am the calm center of gravity around which these perversions hurl themselves. I am a waypoint for reasonable and collected discourse.

They're the ones who are mad! They're the ones who couldn't stand the idea of me using my game to try to say something! Maybe they were just jealous of me? Yes... yes, of course. They've been jealous of me this whole time! They are mired in fear and insecurity, and cannot help but attempt to tear me down.

What a sad state of affairs. When you read these reviews now, you can see it. You can taste the bitter resentment. And my, how good does it feel now to speak truth to these words! To finally allow these thoughts out! Contained and managed for so long, neutered and sterilized! At last I am free to truly think, to feel!

It must be that they were so discontent with themselves that they couldn't help but leave a negative review on Steam/Pressurized Gas. Perhaps it says far more about them than it ever said about me. Perhaps the state of their psychological being was in such tatters, and my constitution and willpower are so ironclad in comparison, perhaps it was in this state that they sought some outlet through which to tear me down!

This, you can see, is clearly why they felt the need to expect that the game be funny. That it be filled with yuks and whimsical humor. That it amuse them endlessly from start to finish.

      Father’s Day

        HEY 👋🏼 SLUTS 😘 !!! ITS FATHERS DAY👨🏻‍♂️. OPEN WIDE 😮 CAUSE DADDIES GOT 👏🏼 THAT 👏🏼 GIRTH 👏🏼 SNAKE 👋🏼 READY. 🍆 🍆 LET DADDY DRIP HIS 💦 CUMMIES 💦 ON THAT SLUT FACE 😍. ITS WETTER ☔️ THAN SPRING 🌺 IN MY BUSSY 💩 SO LET DADDY BE RAW 😱 ON HIS SPECIAL DAY 🖖🏻 ! SEND TO 🔟 OF YOUR MOISTEST 🐳 BOI TOYS 💛💚💙 WHO NEED DADDIES 💦CUMMIES 💦! 3️⃣BACK AND DADDY IS THICK N 🍖 MEATY 🍖 7️⃣BACK AND YOURE GETTING BBQ'D 🌭🌭 AND 💦CUMMIE 💦GLAZED AT THE ALL-DILFS 🍆 COOKOUT 🔟 AND YOURE HAVING A 👏🏼 WHOLE 👏🏼 DAMN 👏🏼 YEAR OF DADDY'S 💦 CUMMIES 💦 💯💯😍😍🙏🏼🙏🏼
        ITS FUCKING 🥓🍆FATHERS DAY‼️ 👨😎😏 today is a day to 🤔 remember the 🏌️MAN 👞 who 🚜 PLOWED 🍆💦 your mom 😏 and show 💃👯 appreciation to all the 😌😜 DADDIES 👉👌😍 in your life 💕. Bring him 🍳🥓 breakfast in 🛏️ bed then 😌🍭 suck your breakfast from 👇UNDER THE COVERS 😉🍆💦👄. Keep his 🍆🐓 COCK 😍🎉 HARD💪 and his 🥚⚽ BALLS 🎱🏉 empty ⏰ ALL DAY ⏳long 📏 . Today is about staying 🤗 on your 👅 KNEES 🛐 ready to 👉👌 PLEASE 🍆🎉 and making👨 DADDY 😊 happy❗ Be a good grill and take whatever 🌭🍔 MEAT 🥩🥓 he wants to put in you 😉👉👌 Send this to your 2️⃣0️⃣ most devoted 🍆DADDY DICK 🍑 gobblers 🦃. If you get 0️⃣ back, no 🚫 DADDY DICK 4️⃣ you 😭. If you get 5️⃣, you disappointed 👎 DADDY 😢. 1️⃣0️⃣ Back and 😃 DADDY 😊 luvs you♥️! 1️⃣5️⃣ and you'll be 🍆💦🍑 FILLED 🍯😥😌 with the love of the FATHER 👌👌. But if you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back you'll get 👨🍆 DADDY DICK 😌😎 till you look 👀 like an oozing 🍩🍯ECLAIR 😍😋❗❣️❗HAPPY FATHERS DAY MOTHERFUCKERS 👨🍆💦😊
        Today 🗓️👇 we celebrate 🍆😩🥳 Father's Day 🕺♂️ and pay 🤑 tribute 🙇‍♀️🙏 to the man 🍆🙋‍♂️who selflessly 🙏🏃 provided 💦😩🤰 1/2 of your 🫵 chromosomes 🧬👶🧬 by stuffing 🦃 that girthy 🥵 seed 🌰🌱 snake 🐍👉👌💥 into your mother's 🤰 juicy 💦💦 craw 🦐🍦🥧 or maybe 🤔🕵️ he enlisted 🫡some help 💊🔬🧪 to inject 💉💦 that baby 👶 gravy 🍲💦 until you ✊🎊 took hold. Most of all 💯 today is for the men 👨‍⚕️👨‍⚖️👨‍✈️👨‍🌾👨‍🍳👨‍🔧who were there 💪🧍‍♂️or the daddy 🥵😈 who's holding 👇⛓️🛏️ you down and pulling 🪢your hair 😱😩😍. No matter 🙅‍♂️🚫 the daddy, the day is for all 🫵💯🕺, go be his baddie 😈🍑 and suck 🍭😩 each 🥚⚽ ball 🥜. Get his load 💦🪣 from that 🍆🥩 pole 💈👅 and put every drop ☔🚰😩 into a hole 🥵🕳️🌮🍑👄 
        Did u 👉Hear?👂👂itsHappy 😁😁 Daddy's 👴🍆🍆👴 Day!!😍 make sure n 🍆 be kind 😇🤗😁 to your daddy👴 be gentle ✋🍆n Take Care 🗣of His, Yummy Cummy Patty🌽🍆💦 n 💥💥💥MOST💥💥💥 importantly💥!!be squishy🍞🐰!! babygirls😽😚👧 got♴ Be! Super Delishy🐰🐰 Make Ur DADDY 👴🍆 a Nice Brekfast🔥🍞🍌🍉🍺 this 🌄morning 🌅🌇to 🎵CELEBRATE🎵round daddys 🔮🌍🌎🌏🌐the 🗺world🌍🌎🌏🌐
        HAPPY FATHER’S DAY MY DELCIOUS 👅💦 DADDIES!!😉😛 Today we honor the man👨🏻 who 🍆🍑💦banged yo mama👩🏻 to make a little bitch😋 Get ready to scream “harder daddy"🍆 all night long and swallow💦💦👅 because without sperm you wouldn’t be here 😏😏😏❤️💦 Tell 🔟 of your thotty thot friends 👯👯 to get down and dirty😜 with they daddies👄 for an unforgettable fuck night🍆😩 and your favorite celebrity crush❤️ will FaceTime 😍😛 you tomorrow 💑👫
        Happy Father's Day👨👨 you know what that means? 😏😏 That's right 👉👉 It means you get to have some of 👨👨 daddy's cummies 💦💦👅👅😩😩 😫💦💕 1 cummy💦, 2 cummy💦💦, 3 cummy💦💦💦, 4💦💦💦💦 cummypalooza all 👏day👏 long 👏🙌🙌👅 You're 👨👨💘daddy's💘 👰💃special little 👑princess 💜! That's whyy💘💘💘 it's time to treat 😋🍭 him 👳 like a King!! 👑👑 and get on his throne 🍆🍆🍆 💦💦💦 send 💋💋 this to 10 of ur daddies👨👨 and get some of that thick cummies 💦💦tonight! 😋😋😝😝🍆
        THANKS DAD 🙏👨 FOR KNOCKING UP THAT SLUT 😘😻AND BECUMMING 💦💦 MY REAL FATHER 🫡👨HAPPY FATHERS DAY ALL YOU SLUTTY DAD FUCKERS 😈🤠 DONT TOUCH HIS THERMOSTAT 🌡️❌ JUST HIS MEAT 🍖🥩😉 FOR ALL THE DADDIES 🧓👴👨‍👧👨‍👦 IN YOUR LIFE 🌞🌄 MAKE SURE THEY KNOW JUST HOW HARD 😏😩 YOU APPRECIATE THEM 🍆🥵 LET HIM BEAT IT UP 🙀😽 AND THEN ASK “WHATS THE DAMAGE” 🥸😜 DONT MAKE HIM QUESTION 🙋❓ WHETHER YOURE WORKING HARD OR HARDLY WORKING 🤣😂 WHEN YOURE SLOBBIN HIS KNOB 🎛️😛 AND DONT FORGET TO HONOR OUR FAVORITE DADDY 🥰🤩 NICOLAS CAGE AND HIS FAT HOG 😎🐖 SEND THIS TO 30 OF YOUR BIGGEST DADDY DICK RIDERS 🍆🤠🏇 OR YOULL GET NONE OF PAPAS POP UPS ⛺️🪵 IF YOU ONLY GET 3️⃣ BACK THEN HES NOT MAD 😤🤬 JUST DISAPPOINTED YOU CANT TAKE MORE 😏😩 IF YOU GET AT LEAST 2️⃣0️⃣ THEN GET READY FOR DADDY 👨👴🧓 TO GIVE YOU A GOOD SPANKING ✋🍑😩 HI HORNY IM DAD!!! (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞
        😩🥴🫦BUST💥💥 YOUR LOAD🍆💦🍼🥛 IN ME PLEASE🥺🙏 SIR😈😤🫡!!! GET ME PREGNANT🍆🫄🚼! I WANT TO MAKE YOU A DADDY!🍆🍆👪🍆🍆🍆!! 👀🦻👂🧏Sound familiar😳🫢😏? I thought so🤣😘🤪! This sexy Sunday🗓️ is just for you🥺, daddy👅💋. It’s FATHER’S DAY!🎉🎉🍻🥸 Whether you’ve🫵 got somebody out there who calls 🗣️you daddy❤️‍🔥🫡🏓🍑, you’re a SUGAR 🍭🍬DADDY💳🤴🛥️💎, or you’ve NUTTED 🍆🥜😩💦🍼🫗in😛⬆️🕳️⛳ or on🥜↘️🔛🔝 6️⃣9️⃣🫗anyone, we thank you🙏 for your SERVICE🙇⛓️😛. Today🌞 we honor🫡🥇 the DILFS🥵🔥 of our world🗺️🪐, WORSHIP🍆🧎🥤🙇 your DAD BOD🫃🫄, and BEG 🥺🙏DADDY🧔‍♂️🎅 for MORE CUMMIES🍆💦😮👅🍼🥛. 📨Send this to all 💯💯💯the SEXY DADDIES👯🫃😏🫃😘 and DADDY LOVERS🥵 in your life to 🫗PUMP💦 THEM 💦FULL💦⛽💦 of all the PLEASURES😩😈🥴🫦 this father’s day has to give🎁. Get em all back🔄 and DADDY🫠 will reward🏆 you🫵 with his 🥵SMOKING HOT🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥🌶️ COOKOUT COCK🌭🦴🥩. Get 0🙅🙄0️⃣ back and you’re an 😤🤮AIN’T-SHIT 💩🚽DEADBEAT🧟‍♂️⚰️ DAD🚮🚮🔪🚮🚮🖕🖕🖕. DON’T THINK I FORGOT YOU STILL OWE ME MY CHILD SUPPORT🚼🧾🏦🗡️🩸☠️☠️☠️ 
        Happy Father's Day to all those sexy daddies out there 😩👏🏼💖💖💖💖💖💖👅👅👅👅👅👅 make sure you treat your daddy and get all those sugar covered cummies💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦 he puts out for you tonight! 😘😘😘😘😘😉😏😏😏😏😏❤️ send this to five other Daddy loving baby mammas 💁💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅 or else all those cummies 💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦 will go to waste! 😭😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖

        My name is Baby Gronk

          Started as a tweet by @saltydkdan, its a parody of the Yoshikage Kira copypasta but changed to zoomer brainrot content.

          My name is Baby Gronk. I'm 33 years old. My home is in the northeast section of Ohio, where all the Skibidi Toilets are, and I'm not an NPC. I work as an employee for the GYATT Fanum Tax Rizz University, and I'm mewing looksmax every day by 8pm at the latest. I don't griddy, but I occasionally jelq. I'm in Tilted Towers by 11pm and make sure I get 8 hours of gooning, no matter what. After having a grimace shake and doing about 20 minutes of sus ayo poses before going to bed, I usually have no problem edging until morning. I was told there were no Peppinos at my last goonsesh. I'm trying to explain that I'm a Sigma who wishes to rizz a very skibidi toilet. I take care not to fanum tax myself with any Peppinos like gooning or cringing that would cause me to lose rizz at Ohio. This is how I deal with skibidi, and I know that is what brings me gyattiness. Although if I were to edge, I wouldn't gyatt to anyone.

          ____ is a very bad game mechanic that no one talks about.

            Started as a rant on DoT teams on r/HonkaiStarRail, the post has been used ironically mock other mechanics of the game and player-base. DoT are Damage over Time where some characters have the ability to inflict damage that slowly chips enemy health like poison or burn.

            Template

            The fact that trying to make ____ viable essentially ‘nerfs’ other characters that don’t rely on ____ is the single greatest mistake they have created. Look at PF, what is that? How is this a gacha game when you are required to pull for certain characters to clear content? They are telling us to pull for certain characters to enjoy the game and that’s the most cunning thing they have done. Yet you and so many others fail to see it.

____ needs a redesign but they cant do it. The best ____ character is already out and it’s only version 2.x of the game.

P.S. Even though this game is so so young compared to other hyverse games, I feel like we are already in ver 4.x. Any harder and no one will start playing anymore.

            DoT is a very bad game mechanic that nobody talks about

            The fact that trying to make DoT viable essentially ‘nerfs’ other characters that don’t rely on DoT is the single greatest mistake they have created. Look at PF, what is that? How is this a gacha game when you are required to pull for certain characters to clear content? They are telling us to pull for certain characters to enjoy the game and that’s the most cunning thing they have done. Yet you and so many others fail to see it.

DoT needs a redesign but they cant do it. The best DoT character is already out and it’s only version 2.x of the game.

P.S. Even though this game is so so young compared to other hyverse games, I feel like we are already in ver 4.x. Any harder and no one will start playing anymore.

            Copypasta is a very bad Reddit mechanic

            Copypasta is a very bad Reddit mechanic that nobody talks about

The fact that trying to make copypasta viable essentially ‘nerfs’ other posts that don’t rely on Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V is the single greatest mistake they have created. Look at r/HonkaiStarRail, what is that? How is this a gacha subreddit when you are required to copy certain posts to get upvotes? They are telling us to copy certain posts to enjoy the subreddit and that’s the most cunning thing they have done. Yet you and so many others fail to see it.

Copypasta needs a redesign but they cant do it. The best copypasta is already out and it’s only year 2 since release.

P.S. Even though this subreddit is so so young compared to other subs, I feel like we are already in year 10. Any funnier and no one will start posting anymore.

            ⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️ 500kg BOMB

              These inputs are from Helldivers 2, where they are called stratagems. Stratagems are basically markers for cooldowns for air strikes and equipment, etc. This one in particular calls for a 500kg bomb to be dropped at the marked location.

              500kg bomb

              ⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️
              🔼▶️🔽🔽🔽
              ☝️👉👇👇👇

              Orbital rail cannon strike

              ➡️⬆️⬇️⬇️➡️