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I got banned from events, and here’s how it went down. I did nothing wrong, man! I did nothing wrong whatsoever! I got banned!

    It’s from a Yu-Gi-Oh player “Trif Gaming” who got banned because he was deliberately abusing time rules for wins. He made the video as a joke(?) and it became a copypasta.

    Yo! I got banned from events, and here's how it went down. I did nothing wrong, man! I did nothing wrong whatsoever! I got banned! I didn't even KNOW I got banned! I didn't get no email, I didn't get no explanation, I didn't get no chance to explain myself. I just got banned. I got a message from Doug Zeeff, that I got banned from Konami. Konami doesn't even message me and tell me I'm banned. So I got banned from my old video I made, Where I jokingly made a video- I jokingly, JOKINGLY, told, the world, that, I stalled for time. I DIDN'T STALL FOR TIME! Anyone with a BRAIN, would realize it was a JOKE! It was a joke, that was- it was a good joke at the time! The new time rules were going on, "Oh, Ha Ha Cowboy for Game". It's a JOKE! It's just like Firewall Pass. It's a JOKE!

    Scrum Master Navy Seal copypasta

      Scrum Master
      byu/Tino_Kort incopypasta

      Written by u/Tino_Kort, its the Navy Seal copypasta but changed to Scrum Master context.

      What the in the name of Atlassian did you just fucking say about me, you little Trello boy? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class at the University of Scrum Masters, and I've been involved in numerous secret boards within the SCEE, and I have over 300 confirmed sprints. I am trained in agile software development and I'm the top scrum master in the entire tech market. You are nothing to me but just another bottleneck. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this planet, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, Trello baby. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of scrum masters across the entire flat earth and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the stand-up meetings, backlog bumpkin. The stand-up meetings that wipe out the pathetic little thing you call your project. You're fucking un-committed to github, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my post-it notes and passive aggressive emails. Not only am I extensively trained in technical debt, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Activision-Blizzard and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face off JIRA, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price of daily 9 AM standup meetings, you goddamn idiot. I will shit burndown charts all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking shelved, kiddo.

      Midladder is the worst place on Pokemon Showdown.

        Midladder is the worst place on Pokemon Showdown.
        byu/SENSEI_BAKA instunfisk

        Its was a rant by u/SENSEI_BAKA on r/stunfisk on being beaten in midladder rank while making predictions. The community thought it was hilarious and made the rant into a copypasta. 

        Midladder is the worst place on Pokemon Showdown.

Whenever I play Pokémon showdown I sometimes like to find new formats to play to liven things up. But after the cake-walk that is 1000-1200 Elo, the people I play are suddenly the most irrational yet infuriating players I have the misfortune of matching up against. Every time I dare to attempt a play, I am randomly shut down by the dumbest play they could have made, but somehow it works out for them despite it making no sense. Yes, I am talking to you, the guy who ran HP fire on his Greninja whilst running A FUCKING RAIN TEAM. Whenever I make a prediction that makes sense given the circumstances, they completely disregard my efforts and stay in with their mon that somehow has a specific coverage move which no one else runs. But of course, if I actually try to start clicking what’s in front of me, I instantly match against the 1278 Elo gigasweat who reads even the most obscure moves I try like a fucking esper. And when I do eventually find myself in a winning position, which I often do because these players cannot form enough coherent thoughts to actually plan for any long term strategy, I am immediately haxxed by full paras from thunderbolts or getting frozen by and ice beam. It genuinely feels like Mid ladder as a whole is a living breathing organism out there with the sole purpose of causing as much anguish as possible and I do not think I have the willpower to endure it anymore.

        I used to furiously masturbate to dr kleiner from half life 2.

          source
          Back when I was around 13~14 I got gifted half life 2 by a steam friend of mine, I immediately downloaded the game and started playing, I was having fun until I made it to kleiners lab. I looked at dr kleiner and started feeling things I'd never felt before, something about him, his bald head, his coat... I couldn't take it. I immediately got a boner and started stroking it a little bit, all while doctor kleiner was talking, I got to the point where it was too much, and I busted all over my monitor, right on dr kleiners bald slappy head, from that day on, every time my parents weren't home I would log onto my computer and furiously jork it to dr kleiner, I even got sfm and learned how to model so I could create him naked and make animations of him twerking... Eventually I realised how much of a problem it was and managed to stop with the help of a friend, but now everytime I play half life 2 I start blushing when I see dr kleiner.

          Rapture

            YO, END-OF-THE-WORLD SLUTS 🌍💥🔥, THE RAPTURE IS CUMMING TOMORROW, SEPTEMBER 23, 2025 📅⏰, AND IT’S TIME TO GET YOUR SINNER ASS 🍑 READY FOR THE ULTIMATE CLIMAX 💦💦💦! TikTok and X are BLOWING UP 🤯💥 with this conspiracy that Earth’s gonna get DICKED DOWN 🍆🌎 by the heavens above 👼😇, and we’re all gonna ASCEND ⬆️👅 or get LEFT BEHIND 😭🍑 for a HELL of a SPANKING 🔥👹🖐️! Better PRAY 🙏🙏 HARD and FAST 🏃‍♂️💨 to get that DIVINE D 🍆✨ before the world goes BOOM 💣💥 and you’re stuck with Satan’s RED-HOT ROD 🌶️🔥 in the AFTERPARTY FROM HELL 🎉👿! Send this to 69 of your NAUGHTIEST 😈😜 apocalypse hoes 💃🕺, if you get 0️⃣ back, you’re doomed to a DRY rapture 😞🚫💦, but if you get 6️⃣9️⃣ back, you’re gonna RIDE THAT HEAVENLY WAVE 🌊💦 straight to the pearly gates 🚪😇 with a BANG 💥🍆!
            🚨⚡THE RAPTURE IS HAPPENING.⚡🚨

Are you 🫵 ready to blow 💦 Gabriel’s trumpet 🎺🤤⁉️ People VANISHING mid-blowjob 😮🍆🌫️ 💨 Teabagged 😟 by His holiest soldiers as they ascend 🫦 ⬆️ If you feel lightheaded, it’s NOT low blood sugar 🩸🧐 That’s your soul getting jerked 😩 by His ☝️ Gorilla Grip 🦍 🔥 If you smell sulfur, that’s not the downstairs neighbors farting 💨🙄— that’s HELL warming up 👹👹👹

Forward this to 7 of your hole-iest sluts to RSVP to heaven 💌💌 If you get less than 4 back 😢 get a slap on the ass 🍑👋 before Satan spears 🔱 ur sinning cheeks 👺 More than 4? Phew 😮‍💨 ur naked body 🥵 is getting jerked up ✊✊ by thine Daddy 🧔‍♀️ in Heaven ✝️⛪️✝️
 🙏☁️ “He yeeted, so I might be yoinked.” — Revelations 2025:9

            Killer fish from San Diego

              The origin of Killer Fish meme
              Source
              Killer fish.. Killer fish from San Diego.. I don't know what I am, but I taste really good! I'm a killer fish! Hello! I'll be your killer fish for the evening, Thank you.