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⚠️WARNING⚠️ cock inspection is NOT required at the voting booths!!!! don’t be tricked like me!!

    this is a true story, I was the "official"

    AKA the cock inspection copypasta is a story about a gullible guy getting his penis inspected by a stranger while waiting in line. The pasta originally started in r/copypasta during the the 2020 election.

    So I was waiting in line to vote when all of a sudden this voting "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my voter registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm voter identity. Because o though he was a voting official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I voted I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy voting!

    Arc Raiders

    So I was waiting to trade in my free loadout augment when all of a sudden this lance came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my raider registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm raider identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the augment I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the speranza guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy raiding!

    Covid vaccination

    So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!

    Briggsy Monologue

      Its Captain Briggsy monologue whenever you’ve accepted a voyage in Sea of Thieves.

      Thank you for accepting this most adventurous of expeditions! I’m searching for a specific skull, that’s why I asked multiple crews to embark on this voyage. Just be aware that once you have the chest, key, or skull, you’ll be visible to allll the other crews! You might have to fight them off the claim the reward for yourself! As soon as you bring the Skull of siren song to the destination I give you, I will make my presence known. So what are you waiting for? On with the quest!... oh, and good luck
      Thank you 🙏🏻 for accepting this most adventurous 🔭of expeditions ⛵️🌊! I’m searching 👀 for a specific skull 💀,that’s why I asked multiple crews 🏴‍☠️🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒👯 to embark 🐶on this voyage⛵️🌊. Just be aware 📣 that once you have the chest🎁, key🗝️, or skull💀, you’ll be visible👁️🫦👁️to allll the other crews 🏴‍☠️🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒👯. You might have to fight 🤺⚔️ them off the claim 👇🏻 the reward 🏆👑 for yourself🫵. As soon ⏱️ as you bring the Skull💀 of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️ song 🗣️🎶to the destination 📍🗺️ I give 🤲 you, I will make my presence 🙋🏻‍♂️ known 🧠🗯️. So what 🤷 are you waiting for⏳? On with the quest ⛵️🌊!... oh, and good luck🍀!
      Thank you for accepting this most adventurous of expeditions!

I’m searching for a specific skull. That’s why I’ve asked multiple crews to embark on this Voyage.

Just be aware that once you have the Chest, Key, or Skull, you’ll be visible to all the other crews.

You might have to fight them off to claim the reward for yourself… As soon as you bring the Skull of Siren Song to the destination I give you, I will make my presence known.

So what are you waiting for? On with the quest!

Oh, and good luck!

      DICK Cheney 🍆 DICKtator Cheney 🍆👴🏻💀, who went out with a BANG 💥💦

        💀😏 DICK Cheney 🍆 is finally six feet under ⬇️🌿 Old man DICK 🔫👴🏻 fired his last shot 💥🍆 — and baby, it was a messy one 💦💦 “Take my load,” he whispered 😈👌💦💣 Straight from the barrel, that gunpowder kiss 💋🎯 — sexy targets getting hit right on the spot 🍑🥵 The CUMback is real 🔙💦 Let’s face it 🕶️ — this old daddy 🍑 was into more than politics 😏 He was out here SKEET SHOTTING wet dreams 💦💕 yelling “PULL!” as the trigger went off 💥💃 No reloads, no mercy 💦💦 Just pure DICKENING energy 🍆💥 — mistake him for a quail and he’ll still shoot his shot 🔫😵‍💫 We’re talking SHOTGUNS 🔫💦 and SHAGS 🛏️🍑 He missed the DICK GOAL 🥅🍌 but left one hell of a bang 💥 💀🍆 Share this with 5️⃣ of your horniest friends 👯‍♀️👯‍♂️ or risk bad karma 😱💩 But if you do… get ready for a surprise party 🎉 loaded with whiskey 🥃 and way too many DICK jokes 🍆🍌🍑💥 
        🚪✊✊ KNOCK KNOCK‼️ Who's that🤔knocking👋🫣 on the 🔥GATES OF HELL?👹🔥Why, none other🙋‍♂️😝Than TRICKY😵‍💫DICK🍆CHENEY👴4️⃣3️⃣rd President🤴🦅 of the 🇺🇸🕳️United GAPES of America🗽⚰️☠️Dear Old Dick💕🧟‍♂️ loved war⚔️🧨 so much🥰😍he wanted it💭to last FOREVER♾️🕛🕐🕝 So he and his pals🧑‍🤝‍🧑🫂at 🏗️HalliBUSTIN' 🌈GAYtheon and 🍆COCKheed Martin👨‍💼🤑💰could keep making 💲💲💲‼️💵 Today😔we pour one out🍻For a world🌐class HATEriot🇺🇸 💘 who showed us that 🍈🍈profTITeering 🪖🗡️WHORE crimes and 📜❌dismantling the CUNTstitution💃🫦 Can be FUN🥳🎊Years before DONNY T🍊👔 got in on the action‼️‼️🏃‍♂️ Send📨💌this to 9️⃣1️⃣1️⃣ neoCUNTservatives👴👵💅 and you'll get shot💥in the fucking face🤯
        🦀🦀🦀SATAN👹👺😈⚔️ has his HANDS 👐🤲 FULL 🧺🛒💪💪 now that a NEW 🪩🆕🎊 RESIDENT 🔥🏡🔥🏠🔥🏘️🔥 has arrived in 🔥⚫HELL'S DEEPEST PIT🕳️ ♨️🔻cuz 🎉🎉💀DICK CHENEY☠️👄 the LEGEND🦅🧨💥💣🪖 HIMSELF 👑🏆🎖️has FINALLY FUCKIN DIED👻👻🪦🪦🎉🎉!! time to 🍾🍸🥂 CELEBRATE👯💃🕺 this proPIGandist🐽🐷🐖 WARHAWK🦅🪖🇺🇸🎖️ by remembering his 🏆🏅🎖️GREATEST HITS🎖️🏅🏆: BOMBINGS ✈️🤯💣, GENOCIDE 🙅⛔🚯👎😡😢, MILITARY🪖 COUPS🗽🔥🛢️💥, SHOOTING💥🔫his friend🦆💑🫂 in the 🚨⚠️ FUCKING FACE🫥🦆💥🔫🤯, and other 🚔🚔👮👮‍♀️🚓🚓CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY🪖🧨💦🏴‍☠️!!  🚨⚠️📟 but DID U KNOW 🧠❓😘😎👯‍♀️🆒!! he devoted 🛐🙏his life 😇🧬🫄👼 to DICKlaring 🍆🍆war 🚫🎯AGAINST🎯🚫 CIVILIANS🚸🪖🎒💦💂💦, STARVING🫗🥣👶CHILDREN🎒🧒🚼, DESTROYING ⛓️‍💥⛏️🪖🦅 COUNTRIES🌍🗺️🌐🛢️, DISMANTLING🧑‍🔧🧑‍⚖️🗽🔧 your RIGHTS📜🗽👮⚖️, and other unCUNTstitutional 🍑🦪🦪🍑acts and ppl 🤳☎️ called📟📞 him a HERO🤔🤷😡👎‼️🫨⁉️  today we pour one out 🍻🥂🍾 for one of the WORST PEOPLE🤢👿🤢 to ever do it‼️ so 🥵 BEND OVER💦 like a 🦅🇺🇸TRUE PATRIOT 🇺🇸🦅, SPREAD 🤸↔️UR LEGS 👯💃💃 like ur the FREEDOM 🦅🦅🗽🗽of infWHOREmation 📚📜📚act, LUBE UP🛢️🛢️🛢️💦💦💦, && send this to 2️⃣0️⃣0️⃣1️⃣ people u want to slip u their 🥵🌡️TRICKY DICKY 👁️👅👁️. GET5️⃣ BACK, you’ll give someone a 💦🥵🔥 WEAPON🍆🧨🥒 OF ASS🍑🍑🍑 DESTRUCTION 🚀💣🪵 IN THEIR PANTS👖🩳, get 🔟 back and u’ll get 👮🧑‍⚖️realpoliDICKED 👄🤤🤤🍆🍆DOWN 😏🚀🚀😏 tonight‼️🌃🍆💣💥
        RIP to the DICKtator Cheney 🍆👴🏻💀, who went out with a BANG 💥💦 at the ripe old age of 84! 🥳🍾 This BAD BOY 🥵 loved to take NO prisoners 🎭🎩 when it came to politics, especially when he was ERECTING policies 🍆⚒️ that made us all CUM to grips 🤯💦 with his SHADY dealings 🌪️💩! Now, he’s probably down there 👇🔥 playing with the DEVIL’s DICK 👹🍆, just waiting for his chance to POUND 🍑 the afterlife 🍆💦 with all the VICE he could desire! 😈😮‍💨 I bet even the ANGELS ☁️👼 are like, “Oh SHIT, what’s this grumpy old DICK gonna do next?!” 🤷‍♂️💥 So raise a toast 🥂 to old Cheney ⛩️, a man who knew the REAL power of the COCKtocracy 🍆👑! Send this to 7 SEXY fat cats 🐱💦 who’d appreciate this DICKtastic news 🎉💋, or you’ll be haunted by his HAUNTED DICK 🍆💀 for 84 years more! 👻💦💦💦
        WAKE UP PATRIOTS 🦅🇺🇸 FORMER VP DICK 🍆 CHENEY 🔫 IS DEAD ☠️! THE 🖤OIL INDUSTRY🖤 JUST LOST A 👿 BADDIE 🫨! TIME TO 🍾 PARTY 🎊 LIKE IT’S 2003 👾 AND INVADE SOME 😽🇮🇶CUNTRIES. GET OUT YOUR 💦 WATERBOARDING KITS 🌊😪 BECAUSE WE’RE ABOUT TO VIOLATE 🇺🇳 INTERNATIONAL LAW 🇺🇳 IN HIS HONOR! MAYBE EVEN SHOOT 🤠🔫 YOUR FRIEND 👬 IN THE FACE 🤗🤣 IF YOU’RE FEELING LIKE TRULY GRIEVING 🪦💔 THIS 🇺🇸AMERICAN ICON 🏈💵. NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS ❌🙅 FOR OUR BIG 🇺🇸AMERICAN🇺🇸 DICK 😩🍆!
        DICK Cheney 🍆💦, the legendary 🎩🚀 warhawk, just had his 🌈HIS FINAL ERECTION 🚪🍑 at 84 🔞💔! With a heart 💖 as black 🖤 as the SITH Lord’s, he left an entire buffet 🍗 of lies and backdoor deals 🚪🔑 💋 I guess he couldn’t handle all that 💥BACKLASH 😠🍆 from the MIDDLE EAST 💣💦! This old CUMranger 🍑🤠 is finally free from his d*ck-sucking ⚡️dodges and ASSgenda 💭🍑! If you thought 🍑 he was just sipping 🍹 while the world burned 🌋, think again, this man 🎩 had plans LOUD 🍑💦 as a hunting horn 🔊 calling for all the cock-n-warm action! 🎉😈 Just imagine him sliding into the afterlife 👻🌌, shaking hands with all the HOE-ly warriors 🙏💪💦! P.S. Did you know he loves to go FISHING 🎣💦 for HARD DONGS 🍆🌊💋? He didn’t just hunt 🔫 quail 🦆, he hunted that SLUTty LIFE 🍑👅 Let’s raise a glass 🥂🍻 to the man who truly knew how to RAISE HELL 🔥RIP DICK, you’ll always be our favorite CUMmander in CHEEFS 🥤💪💦💦💦! Share this to your 7️⃣ craziest friends 😜🔞 or you’ll miss out on the next WILD ride 🚀🍆🍑 in the political circus 🎪!

        If she ain’t Asian, I ain’t chasin. if she ain’t ABG, she ain’t the one for me.

          If she ain't Asian, I ain't chasin. if she ain't ABG, she ain't the one for me. If she ain't squinting, I ain't sprinting. If she ain't oriental, she ain't in my mental. If it ain't rice, it ain't nice. If my dog ain't in danger, she a stranger. If she ain't yellow, I ain't sayin hello. If she ain't Chinese, I ain't getting on my knees, If she ain't Japanese, She ain't what't happening, If she ain't Korean, then she ain't who I'm seein', If she ain't Filipino, That ain't who Ima see yo, If she ain't Thai, then i'm the wrong guy, If she ain't Sri Lankan, then her door ain't where i'm knocking. If the Ching ain't Chonging, then she ain't belonging. If she ain't Kawaii, I'm going to Hawaii. If her eyes ain't almond, then I ain't callin'. If it ain't K-Pop, I'm telling her "Hey, Stop!" If it ain't BTS, then she may be BS. If I can wear shoes in her house, I'd rather date a mouse. If it ain't noodles, I'm sayin toodles. If she ain't foriegn, then she borin'. If it ain't sushi, it ain't juicy. If it ain't Boba, then I don't wanna know ya. If she ain't playing Valorant, then I won't be tolerant. If it aint Chopsticks, you might as well grab them mopsticks. If she ain't raving, then she ain't who I'm saving. 
          If she ain’t Asian, I ain’t chasin. if she ain’t abg, I aint say’n a thing. If she aint squinting, I aint sprintin. If she aint oriental,she aint in my mental. If it aint rice, it aint nice. if my dog ain’t in danger, she a stranger. If she ain’t yellow, I ain’t sayin hello. If it ain’t noodles, I’m sayin toodles. If she ain’t forgein, she borin. If it ain’t sushi, it ain’t juicy.

          Hornet is the most compatible arachnid for humans

            By u/Fun-Celery-8988, its the Vaporeon copypasta but changed to Hornet from Hollow Knight.

            Hey guys, do you know that in terms of male human and female arachnid breeding, Hornet is the most compatible arachnid for humans? Not only is she resembling a human figure, but based on the "raindrop theory" plus the fact that Team Cherry is literally Australian, we can calculate that Hornet is about human size. That means she is large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with the fact that she is a demigod, you can be rough with the savior of Pharloom. Due to her silk-based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that the inside of Hornet is incredibly soft. Besides, natural silk is a carbon-based fiber that absorbs water easily, which means you can have sex with her for hours without getting sore. If you're on the kinky side, worry not because Hornet has complete control over her silk. That means she could make any shape out of silk from your imagination, and she could tie you or herself if you wanted to. Along with being half-naked most of the time, it would be incredibly easy to get you in the mood. With her ability to convert soul to silk and then to heal herself, she could easily recover as long as you keep pumping your "souls" into her. At worst, if you are some kind of savage beast that sends her flying, she would turn into a cocoon and would come right back at you if you have a bench nearby. Oh, did I mention that she has past experience? That means she would definitely know how to please you. Hornet is literally built for human dicks. A demigod + soul absorption + past experience, because of that she's a perfect partner.

            This is Guest 666🐐. A killer with vertical mobility✈️, 27 Sprint speed🏃, 9 stamina loss/second🏃

              Its the Ksante copypasta but changed to Guest 666 from the Roblox game “FORSAKEN”.

              This is Guest 666🐐. A killer with vertical mobility✈️, 27 Sprint speed🏃, 9 stamina loss/second🏃. Killer has 10% speed🏃 increase when abilities highlight💡 survivor (29.7 Sprint speed🏃). Has behead🪓 on holding M1 for 8 second cooldown⌚, furthermore the cooldown⌚ is only 4 seconds + Inflicts hemorrhage🩸if it hits. Then when they transform🐺 all cooldowns⌚ are refunded🤑 and they cannot be stunned💫 and then they get 4% more movement speed🏃 and with more movement speed🏃 Manic Fixation gets stronger and survivors are highlighted💡, you get cooldowns⌚ refunded🤑+ bloodhunt🩸 extended on kill🪦 and his E can be held to fake people out🤡 but it gets stronger💪 when you hold E so-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA😱😱