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Serj bullied me in high school

    Created by r/dookiebutt777, its a shitpost story of getting bullied by Serj Tankian the lead vocalist for the band System of a Down. The absurd story then got adopted by other fanbase and became a copypasta.

    Serj bullied me in high school. Only problem I was in high school from 2016-2020 and Serj was already like 50 by that point. He didn’t go to the same school I went to or even live in the same state for that matter. It was so bizarre to find him waiting for me outside at the bus stop every afternoon just to make fun of me in front of my crush or knock things out of my hands. One time I sang a System of a Down cover at a school talent show and the whole crowd cheered after I had finished, letting me know I did well but after the applause had died down, Serj stood up from the very back of the audience and booed me really aggressively and made sure that everyone knew it was his song and he can do it better. Another time he even told my bus driver that I had crabs and if he lets me on the bus I’m liable to get everyone on the bus infested which was just a total lie. I’ve never met Serj before this started happening and am from a pretty small remote town in Tennessee. The final time I ever saw him was at my graduation ceremony, somehow he had gotten involved with the whole program and was standing on stage beside my high school’s principal shaking the students’ hands. When it was my turn to walk across the stage and I locked eyes with Serj for the final time, he gripped my hand firmly and said “no one will ever believe what I’ve done to you, but know that you are going to be a better man because of it.” I’m still not sure why a millionaire musician would randomly decide to start doing this to someone, or how it affected me into being a better person in the long run, but at least I have this story to tell.

    Edmund McMillen bullied me in high school

    Edmund McMillen bullied me in high school. Only problem I was in high school from 2016-2020 and Edmund was already like 40 by that point. He didn’t go to the same school I went to or even live in the same state for that matter. It was so bizarre to find him waiting for me outside at the bus stop every afternoon just to make fun of me in front of my crush or knock things out of my hands. One time I sang Living in the light cover at a school talent show and the whole crowd cheered after I had finished, letting me know I did well but after the applause had died down, Edmund stood up from the very back of the audience and booed me really aggressively and made sure that everyone knew it was his song and he can do it better. Another time he even told my bus driver that I had crabs and if he lets me on the bus I’m liable to get everyone on the bus infested which was just a total lie. I’ve never met Edmund before this started happening and am from a pretty small remote town in Tennessee. The final time I ever saw him was at my graduation ceremony, somehow he had gotten involved with the whole program and was standing on stage beside my high school’s principal shaking the students’ hands. When it was my turn to walk across the stage and I locked eyes with Edmund for the final time, he gripped my hand firmly and said “no one will ever believe what I’ve done to you, but know that you are going to be a better man because of it.” I’m still not sure why a millionaire game designer would randomly decide to start doing this to someone, or how it affected me into being a better person in the long run, but at least I have this story to tell.


    I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of Burnice.

      Burnice copypasta

      Its the Xiangling copypasta but changed into Burnice from Zenless Zone Zero (ZZZ).

      I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Burnice. I try to play Soldier 11. My Burnice deals more damage. I try to play Grace. My Burnice deals more damage. I try to play Piper. My Burnice deals more damage. I want to play Lucy. Her best team has Burnice. I want to play Jane Doe, Caesar. They both want Burnice.

She grabs me by the throat. I cook for her. I ride bikes for her. I give her the BP W-Engine. She isn't satisfied. I pull Sharpened Stinger. "I don't need this much buildup" She tells me. "Give me more field time." She grabs Lucy & her pigs and forces them to throw themselves off enemies. "You just need to buff me more. I can deal more damage with my signature W-Engine."

I can't pull for her sig, I don't have enough polychromes. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs ze flammenwerfer. She says "Hans, get them." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, quick Fire Anomaly buildup and Burn. What a cruel world.

      Tsukihime – I need advice regarding my sister. It’s rather complex, so I should explain.

        Shiko Tohno from Tsukihime

        It’s an old 4chan thread of someone role-playing as Shiki from Tsukihime and asking for advice from fellow anons about what to do about his overbearing sister. It became a classic Tsukihime copypasta as OP managed to troll many into believing it as a real story.

        I need advice regarding my sister. It's rather complex, so I should explain.

When I was younger, I was involved in an accident and required care. My father sent me away to get that care, leaving just my sister to put up with his strictness (my mother died when my sister was born). After I recovered enough to be able to look after myself, I stayed away from home. In the years I had been bedridden, neither my father nor my sister came to see me and I didn't feel connected to either of them anymore.

A month ago, my sister suddenly called me out of the blue. My father had passed away, and she wanted me to live with her again until she has finished her education. After soul searching for a long time, I agreed and returned home, finding that she had grown into a young lady in my absence. However, she has a very strong moral code and enforces a strict rule over the household (dad left everything to her). I mean, she has a curfew for Christ's sake.

Things have started to go downhill from there. I broke curfew, and ended up being away that whole night and part of the next day. I can't go into the specifics, but my illness still visits me in strange ways and I couldn't be home when everything started (I had a vivid dream that I killed and butchered someone for god's sake). Needless to say that she wasn't impressed, and threatened to put a camera over the gate to make sure I was not going out. She says it's because she is concerned that I am not yet a fully recovered man. I know I can be frail and all, but I like to think I know my limits.
        It gets worse. Some of my schoolfriends invited me out on the weekend to a fair. I had had a fit the night before, and so my sister told me that she wanted to come, to keep an eye on me and help me if I got worse. I didn't have a choice, and thought maybe we could reconcile during the day. When we arrive, she looks over my friends, my best friend and two girls we are close to, with disdain and stops on one of the girls. Immediately she declares that she doesn't think she can get along with the girl and refuses to talk to her any more than she has to for the day. It totally killed the fun, and after we went home I yelled at her about it. She burst into tears and said that if I hate her she understands and will accept my hate but she just wants me to be safe.

        I’m sick of druid.

          Its the Xiangling ocpypasta but changed to druid from Hearthstone.

          I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of druid. I try to play rogue. My druid deals more damage. I try to play priest. My druid deals more damage. I try to play demon hunter. My druid deals more damage. I want to play warrior. His best deck has druid cards. I want to play reno, dragon decks. They both want druid.

He grabs me by the throat. I suffer on ladder for him. I disenchant cards for him. I give him the meta cards. He isn’t satisfied. I open Chia Drake from a pack. “I don’t need this much spell damage” he tells me. “Give me more burst damage.” He grabs zilliax deluxe 3000 and forces him to throw himself off enemies. “You just need to funnel me more. I can deal more damage with owlonius.”

I can’t pull for mistah vistah, I don’t have enough gold. He grabs my credit card. It declines. “Guess this is the end.” He grabs reno. He says “reno, get them.” There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, board clears. What a cruel world.

          FFXIV Navy Seals Copypasta

            Final Fantasy 14 x Navy Seals
            What in Hydaelyn's name did you say about me? you little grey parser? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class from the balance, and have been involved in multiple world first clears. I have over 300 confirmed 100-parses on savage and ultimate content. I am trained in every single uptime strategy for any fight. to me this is just another parse. you are nothing but just another grey parser, go do some more freecure fishing in dungeons. I will wipe you out and post it all over TalesFromDF like the laughing stock you are! you think you can get away with sandbagging in my groups? think again fucker, I'll go all DreadWyrm academy on your arse. mark my words.

            Emet-Selch Navy Seals

            What in Zodiark's glorious name did you just say about me, you little cubus? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Akaedemia Anyder, and I've been involved in numerous secret missions for the Convocation, and I have over 300 confirmed concepts. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top Sorcerer of Eld in the entire Ascian forces. You are nothing to me but another sundered soul. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen upon any of the thirteen shards, mark my words. You think you can get away with spouting that nonsense to me over a linkpearl? Think again, weary wanderer. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Ascians cross all the shards and your aetheric signature is being traced right now so you've better prepare for the storm, midge. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. I can teleport anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you with over seven hundred spells, and that's just using Solus's body. Not only am I extensively trained in Ancient sorcery, but I have access to the entire Baldesion arsenal and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable arse off the face of Ethierys, you little shite. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your wretched tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you gods damned idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're dead, "hero."

            quite interesting that all top clan members that are playing at KOTS have SHIMAKAZE with 21k hp

              SHIMAKAZE meme from World of Warships

              Its a sarcastic joke on Shimakaze (SE) players from World of Warships that don’t take the extra health perk making them incredibly vulnerable (and bad) at the game thus accusing other SE players with 21K health of cheating.

              quite interesting that all top clan members that are playing at KOTS have SHIMAKAZE with 21k hp. did they download cheats on hp and wg overlooks it? man, the more you pay the more you get, better stats, better mm, better ships…. while i get the team that is always losing.