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She breasted boobily

    "Cassandra woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on her blinds, cascading over her naked chest. She stretched, her breasts lifting with her arms as she greeted the sun. She rolled out of bed and put on a shirt, her nipples prominently showing through the thin fabric. She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards."

    He vampired billionairely across the room

      "He vampired billionairely across the room, his sweetly-softcore rapey vibes engulfed her small feminine self-inserty hair, she looked exactly like [you, the girl reading this], and he was very vampirey and mysterious..."

      I can’t take it anymore, I’m sick of Greninja

        Its the Xiangling copypast but changed to Greninja from Pokémon TCG Pocket.

        I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Greninja. I try to play Absol. My Greninja deals more damage. I try to play Blaziken. My Greninja deals more damage. I try to play Magnezone. My Greninja deals more damage. I try not to play Gyarados. I want to play Suicune. His best deck has Greninja. I want to play Altaria, Darkrai. They both want Greninja. He grabs me by the throat. I wonderpick for him. I pull for him. I give him a giant cape. He isn't satisfied. I pull rocky helmet. "I don't need this much chip" he tells me. "Give me more field time." He grabs Chingling and forces him to throw himself at enemies. "You just need to funnel me more. I can deal more damage with my Ex." I can't pull for Greninja EX, I don't have enough hourglasses. He grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." He grabs rare candy. He says "I evolve from Froakie immediately." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, free, relentless pinging from bench. What a cruel world.

        I’m sick of Naoto.

          Its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Naoto from Blazblue.

          I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Naoto. I try to play Tsubaki. My Naoto deals more damage. I try to play Ragna. My Naoto deals more damage. I try to play Susano'o. My Naoto deals more damage. I try not to play Naoto. I want to play Jin. His DP is worse than Naoto's. I want to play Es, Jubei. Naoto has better frame data. He grabs me by the throat. I pressure for him. I rollcatch for him. I give him 100 meter. He isn't satisfied. I DP RC. "I don't need this many plus frames." he tells me. "Give me more meter." He forces me to enRekka in neutral. "You just need to read them more. I can Fatal if you read their option." I can't hit the fatal unless I slop in neutral. He grabs my AliExpress leverless. It snaps in half. "Guess this is the end." He whiffs super. He says "I enDP immediately." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, free, relentless active frames. What a cruel world.

          67

            HOLY MOTHER FUCKNG SHT, ARE THOSE THE NUMBERS 6 AND 7?!?!?!😱😳😱😳😳😱⁉️😱⁉️‼️😱😳😱⁉️😱😳😱😳⁉️😱😳😱⁉️😱‼️😱😳😱6️⃣7️⃣6️⃣7️⃣6️⃣7️⃣6️⃣7️⃣ ATTENTION, 6️⃣7️⃣ SPOTTED, ATTENTION 67 SPOTTED, THIS IS NOT A DRILL, I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL DEPLOY 6️⃣7️⃣ PROTOCOL /INITIATING 67 MODE... %67data... &programs x67&... 6767676767676️⃣7️⃣6️⃣7️⃣6️⃣7️⃣... I WILL SING THE 6️⃣ 7️⃣ SONG AND YOU WILL SING ALONG, WE WILL SING THE 6️⃣ 7️⃣ SONG AND YOU WILL SING ALONG, YOU WILL SING THE 6️⃣ 7️⃣ SONG AND WE WILL SING ALONG 6️⃣🤚😁✋️7️⃣‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
            I literally cannot do this anymore. I am at my FUCKING limit. 67. Six. Seven. It started as a joke. Just a funny number. A funny fucking number that a kid did in that damn video. But it kept popping up in my fucking reels. What the fuck is going on? I ask myself. At first, I thought it was funny. But I kept seeing it. Not by the major but it was JUST SIX SEVEN AFTER SIX FUCKING SEVENS. I kept blocking those accounts. Nothing worked. I tried a new account alltogether. It still appeared. I even made a newer account with a VPN. NOTHING. FUCKING. WORKS.

"SIX SEVENN!" Haha. Funny. Right? WRONG. This number has systematically dismantled every single aspect of my already pathetic life.

I'm a father of two kids. They're the ones who's always stuck to their screens 26/7. I tried asking them of how to stop it or at the very least explain what it means. I didn't get a clear answer. Instead, they mimic that blonde fucker's hand movements and kept saying "SIX SEVEN" in the most obnoxious tone possible. I felt like crying.

I lost my six-figure job last week. I tried to ignore this whole six seven bullshit and just go to my job. We were in the middle of the most important meeting in the company's history. The CFO pulls up the quarterly projections. The presentation hits a page that showed a pie chart. I look at the screen. The percentage? 67% out of whatever the fucking topic was. I didn't place it there. I swear I didn't. I swear I remember deliberately putting it as 66% just to prevent this exact scenario.

I didn't mean to do it. It was a reflex. I swear. I slammed my hand on the mahogany table and screamed "SIX SEVENNN" at the top of my lungs. I started laughing hysterically, pointing at the screen yelling "SIX SEVEN! SIX SEVEN! SIX SEVEN" at the board of directors. Security escorted me out while I was still trying to explain the meme to those old wrinkly fuckers.

My career is utterly over. I can't even get hired at a cashier job because I'm fucking blacklisted from the local job market. I have ruined my reputation and I cannot fix it no matter how much I beg for forgiveness.

But it didn't stop there. My wife left me yesterday. We were driving to see her parents. I looked at the dashboard. The temperature outside? 67 degrees. I started sweating. I looked at the speedometer. 67 mph. I started hyperventilating. I couldn't help myself. I involuntarily moved my hands up and down while saying six seven. I pulled the car over on the highway and refused to drive until the temperature dropped to 66 or rose to 68. She told me I need professional help. She took the ring back. I lost the divorce. I lost the kids. I lost all of my money. I'm dirt poor.

I see it everywhere now. My phone battery? 67%. The change in my pocket? 67 cents. The page number in my book? 67. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I close my eyes and I just see the number floating in the void. It haunts me. It mocks me. I am a shell of a man, destroyed by a double-digit integer. Is this what god does to his strongest soldier? I can't fucking take it.
SIX SEVENNNN SIX. FUCKING. SEVEN. 67 67 67 67 67 GOD FUCKING DAMN IT SIX SEVEN SIX SEVEN SEX SEVEN SIX SEVEN SIX SEVENNN SIX SEVENNNN SIX SEVENNNN SIX SEVENNNN SIX SEVENNNN SIX SEVENNNN SIX SEVENNNN SIX SEVENNNN SIX SEVENNNN SIX SEVENNNN SIX SEVENNNN SIX SEVENNNN SIX SEVENNNN SIX SEVENNNN SIX SEVENNNN

            Gabe Newell was on my flight to LA

              From r/Halflife, its the Todd Howard holding TES VI hostage story but changed to Gabe Newell holding Half Life 3 hostage unless players buy more CS2 lootboxes.

              Flying from DC to LA and Gabe was flying the same flight. I got to sit near him and told him I was a huge fan of his, especially of Half-Life. That's when he did something I would have never believed.

He pulled out his laptop and showed me the official trailer for Half-Life 3. He then asked me how many CS2 crate keys I have purchased, and I told him "Only 20, Gabe. Only 20.". That's when he did it. Gabe Newell deleted the trailer for HL3 and emptied the trash. "This was the only copy, the one I was to present at the Game Awards", he said. "Next time, do better."

He then informed me that if the new TF2 Smissmass crate doesn't sell a million keys within 48 hours they will be deleting assets to HL3, further delaying the project purposefully. They are taking it hostage and demanding a ransom.

              Todd Howard was on my flight to LA

              By u/xCosmicChaosx, its a shitpost story on how Todd Howard is holding TES VI hostage unless players buy more versions of Skyrim released by Bethesda. 

              Flying from DC to LA and Todd was flying the same flight. I got to sit near him and told him I was a huge fan of his, especially of TES. That's when he did something I would have never believed.

He pulled out his laptop and showed me the official trailer for TES: VI. He then asked me how many copies of Skyrim I have purchased, and I told him "Only 3, Todd. Only 3.". That's when he did it. Todd Howard deleted the trailer for TES VI and emptied the trash. "This was the only copy, the one I was to present at the Game Awards", he said. "Next time, do better."

He then informed me that if the new Switch 2 port of Skyrim doesn't sell a million copies within 48 hours they will be deleting assets to TES VI, further delaying the project purposefully. They are taking it hostage and demanding a ransom.