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Dream’s Crashout (Evil Plan)

    Dream's crashout

    From Dream’s crashout on stream after his fallout with Tommyinnit.

    ALL MY EVIL PLANS... ITS COME TOGETHER! ALL OF THE MEMBERS OF THE DREAMSMP ARE UNDER NDA AND THEY HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS! AND I'VE BEEN SIPHONING EVERY DOLLAR THEY'VE MADE FROM ALL THE CLOUT THAT I GAVE THEM! CAUSE I MADE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! AND I HAVE THEIR PARENTS NUMBERS AND I WILL HAVE THEM EXECUTED! EXECUTED! IF THEY SAY ANOTHER BAD WORD! ANOTHER BAD WORD! THEY. WILL PERISH. I WILL KILL ALL OF THEM. AND ALSO SECRETLY, I HATE ALL OF YOU! ALL OF YOU! BECAUSE OF YOUR GENDER AND YOUR SEX AND BECAUSE I'M HOMOPHOBIC. I HATE ALL OF YOU AND I ALWAYS HAVE. YOU GOT ME! BUT ITS TOO LATE, ITS GONE THROUGH. THE PLAN IS BEEN EXECUTED. AHA! I'LL SEE YOU GUYS SOON... IN HELL.
    ALL MY EVIL PLANS👿 ...ITS COME TOGETHER 👿! ALL OF THE MEMBERS OF THE DREAMSMP ARE UNDER NDA AND THEY HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS🗣️ ! AND I'VE BEEN SIPHENING EVERY DOLLAR THEY'VE MADE FROM ALL THE CLOUT THAT I GAVE THEM🙌 ! CAUSE I MADE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM😡 ! AND I HAVE THEIR PARENTS NUMBERS AND I WILL HAVE THEM EXECUTED☠️ ! EXECUTED💀 ! IF THEY SAY ANOTHER BAD WoRD🤬 ! ANOTHER BAD WORD🚫 ! THEY🤦 . WILL PERISH🙅 . I WILL KILL ALL OF THEM😤 . AND ALSO SECRETLY, I HATE ALL OF YOU🗣️ ! ALL OF YOU 🗣️ ! FOR YOUR GENDER🚻 FOR YOUR SEX❤️‍🔥 AND BECAUSE IM HOMOPHOBIC ❌ I HATE ALL OF YOU 😡 AND I ALWAYS HAVE 🤬 
    ALL MY EVIL PLANS 🔥👹✍🏿…ITS COME TOGETHER 😈✊🏿! ALL OF THE MEMBERS 👨‍🦰OF THE DREAMSMP 🌈ARE UNDER NDA👽 AND THEY HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS‼️🗣️🙌🏿 ! AND I'VE BEEN SIPHENING 🫰EVERY DOLLAR🤑 THEY'VE MADE FROM ALL THE CLOUT THAT I GAVE THEM🎁🙌 ! CAUSE I MADE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM🫃🏼 ! AND I HAVE THEIR PARENTS👰🏿‍♂️ NUMBERS 🧮AND I WILL HAVE THEM EXECUTED☠️ ! EXECUTED💀 ! IF THEY SAY ANOTHER BAD WoRD🤬 ! ANOTHER BAD WORD🚫 ! THEY🤦 . WILL PERISH🙅 . I WILL KILL ALL OF THEM👺😤‼️ . AND ALSO SECRETLY, I HATE ALL OF YOU🗣️ ! ALL OF YOU 🤯 ! FOR YOUR GENDER👯‍♂️ FOR YOUR SEX🦶 AND BECAUSE IM HOMOPHOBIC 💯 I HATE ALL OF YOU💖 AND I ALWAYS HAVE 🤬

    HALF LIFE 3 IS COMING OUT I AM NOT CRAZY

      Comment
      byu/Commaser from discussion
      inHalfLife

      Its the Chicanery copypasta from Better Call Saul but changed to Half Life 3 (cope) based on a theory that Epistle Three was deleted for the upcoming HL3 announcement. Epistle Three is a snapshot of a possible outline for HL3 by the lead writer for HL2, Marc Laidlaw after his departure from Valve.

      I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers. I knew it was 197. One after the word fret. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn't prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot at spotify to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That Tweet! Are you telling me that a man just happens to post a video like that? No! He orchestrated it! Mike! He defecated through a Valve index! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own cope! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was making ASMR tweets, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of Half Life! But not our Mike! Couldn't be precious Mike! Coping them blind! And HE gets to announce HL3? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance! …And you, you have to stop him! You-

      The post the pasta was responding to

      Half Life 3 might've been confirmed way before Mike's tweet and we never noticed
      byu/Commaser inHalfLife
      So, we all know Epistle 3 right? Marc LaidLaw's own take on what Episode 3 could've been

Posted in 2017, blows up, we all read it and go crazy

It's fine, then on sometime around 2022 he sudddenly has a change of heart and deletes it from his blog

Now why would he do that? It's been 5 years since he had published, anyone that could've read it has already read it and people had already uploaded archives of it because well its just a bunch of text not hard to simply ctrl c + ctrl + v

He then gives an interview and says he regretted publishing it because "It could create trouble for my friends at Valve" and "the real story development can only happen in the crucible of developing a game"

My ass I say, now hear me out on this one, what if he deleted it EXACTLY because Valve contacted him asking him to take it down because they WANT to make Half Life 3 and indeed having Epistle 3 up is a problem if they plan on releasing Half Life 3??? THINK ABOUT IT, Alyx came out in 2020, 2022 is a perfectly plausible date to begin production and now in 2025 it could've been 3 years in development already, perfect to announce it with a trailer like Mike's tweet

HALF LIFE 3 IS COMING OUT I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY I AM NOT CRAZY

      I just saw a black guy listening to Not Like Us, Kendrick is truly what the culture is feeling

        Not Like Us copypasta
        source
        I (57, white male) was recently taking a stroll down my neighbourhood when I suspiciously saw a group of high school girls listening to Drake (🤮) of all people, so being an loyal fan of Kung Fu Kenny I decided to scream "OV-HOE!!!!" at them and run away, they got angry at me and started chasing me! fearing that they might make me listen to Toosie Slide, I ran as fast as I could.

While running from them I accidentally wandered into "the hood" that Kdot is always talking about. That is when my eyes truly opened to the genius that is Kendrick Lamar Duckworth, I saw a black gentlemen listening to Not Like Us, and tears fell down from my eyes as I finally realised the impact that Kendrick has made, he truly was what the culture was feeling.

I went up to the fellow Kendrick enthusiast and saluted him for being on the right side of history. He was for some reason very confused as to why a crying man was saluting him so I decided to show him that I am indeed "certified" by rapping Not Like Us to him "WOP WOP WOP DOT FUCK EM UP" I shouted "WOP WOP WOP IMMA DO MY STUFF" I continued, "WHY YOU TROLLING LIKE A BITCH AINT YOU TIRED" I took a breath, "TRYNA STRIKE A CHORD AND ITS PROBABLY A MINORRRRR" I exclaimed. Seeing my dedication towards the art of Kdot made the Kendrick fan realise I was one of "the good ones" and he invited me to the cookout! ✊🏻

        I will protect this smile

          Origin of the "I will protect this smile" copypasta

          From Gigguk’s Summer Anime 2016 video where he did a bit on protecting Tsumugi’s smile from Amaama to Inazuma which became a meme.

          This smile, I will protect this smile. I will FIGHT YOU for this smile, you will not hurt this smile. For you see, there are some things in life worth protecting, some things worth living for, some things worth dying for. A smile like this can thaw the iciest of hearts, dispel the darkest of evils and win the mightiest of wars. THIS SMILE WILL BE THE THING THAT PULLS US FROM THE DEPTHS OF DESPAIR, AND LEAD US TO THE PATH OF SALVATION. WARS WILL BE FOUGHT, PEOPLE WILL BE SAVED AND CIVILIZATIONS WILL PROSPER BECAUSE OF THIS SMILE. SO FROM THIS DAY FORWARD I SOLEMNLY SWEAR TO SHIELD THIS SMILE FROM ALL HARM THAT MAY COME TO IT, ALL DANGERS IT MAY POSSIBLY FACE AND GIVE MY LIFE FOR IT!

          STOP POSTING ABOUT MIKU COMING TO FORTNITE!

            Hatsune Miku in Fortnite copypasta

            Its the “STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US” meme but changed to Hatsune Miku in Fortnite.

            I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND ME MIKU COMING TO FORNITE, ON DISCORD IT'S FUCKING MIKU MIKU BEAM! I was in a server, right? and ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just Miku Fornite stuff. I-I showed my champion underwear to my girlfriend and t-the logo I flipped it and I said "hey babe, when the underwear Miku HAHA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DI DI DING" I fucking looked at a trashcan and said "THAT'S HIDING IN MY WIFI" I looked at my penis I'm thinking Miku Miku oo ee oo and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PEKU" AA- (bro It's everywhere dude I swear)

            Oh my god, guys… I want to fuck Citlali from Genshin impact.

              Citlali copypasta
              Oh my god, guys... I want to fuck Citlali from Genshin impact. I want to impregnate her. I don't care that she's so old that she can't have kids anymore. I will not stop breeding her until her body starts producing eggs again. I want to keep breeding her loose hag pussy until I pass out. I want to fondle her breasts and hear her say "Please stop touching my Citlalin and Itzpapa. I will NOT stop. I want her to stay addicted to alcohol. I want her to come back to our house, drunk and dirty, reeking of piss and alcohol. I will not be able to constrain myself. I want to enter her bedroom after she's been doing nothing but gooning, drinking booze and reading smut for a few weeks without taking a shower. Guys. I can't take it anymore. I NEED to impregnate Citlali.