Skip to content

Shrimp saved my life

    AKA the shrimp copypasta was a greentext story from 4chan about how Anon’s life was changed after rearing shrimps. 

    Shrimp saved my life
>be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel
>one day I go to my /aq/fag uncle's house for some shit >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before
>he offers to get me some
>throw them in a barely cycled tank with some shitty rock
>several shrimp die
>realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life
>do research, learn about water parameters and
so on
>eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths
>notice a female shrimp carrying eggs
>haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade
>the eggs disappear and I once again think I fucked up
>a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp
>I suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ
>by this point I live and breathe shrimp
>all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos
>I spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products
>quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending
>start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp
>grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out
>relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself
>I see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp
>for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake
>it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs >cry like a little bitch when I see it
>mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me
>college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp
>shit they're gonna think I'm autistic
>they actually think my shrimp are really cool >they start inviting me to their social events >start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart
>I think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew
We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you.

    Jeder deutsche Film: Emmy will’s wissen weil sie Power hat!

      The copypasta was first posted in the German copypasta subreddit as a parody to a post complaining about the mediocre quality of German films. 

      Jeder deutsche Film:

„Emmy will’s wissen weil sie Power hat!“

Emmy (die rothaarige die überall mitspielt) lebt in BERLIN (BERLIN BERLIN BERLIN) mit ihrer besten Freundin Gronkhe in berlin und berlint dort. Beide haben Super-Krebs-Aids und kein Geld und alles ist grau.

Deswegen will Emmy ihren GRÖSSTEN TRAUM erfüllen: Nach Wangerooge im Herbst und dort am grauen Strand stehen.

Um ihr diesen außergewöhnlichen Traum zu erfüllen, klauen Gronkhe und sie den 35 Jahre alten Passat ihres coolen Arztes (Elias M‘Barek) und beginnen einen wundervolle Reise.

Auf Wangerooge trifft sie den krebskranken Klavierlehrer/Arzt/allein erziehenden Vater Lief-Fynn (auch Elias M‘Barek), der als Fischer an den Wochenenden arbeitet und beginnt auch mit ihm eine wundervolle Reise.

Am Ende fahren sie mit seinem Fischerboot nach Berlin BERLIN UND BERLIN und schauen sich dort im Von einem dreckigen Hochhaus den Sonnenaufgang an, der von Matilmas Schweigerhöfer gespielt wird.

Das Ende.

      English translated

      Every German movie:

“Emmy wants to go for it because she’s got guts!”

Emmy (the redhead who’s in everything) lives in BERLIN (BERLIN BERLIN BERLIN) with her best friend Gronkhe, doing Berlin things in Berlin. They both have super-cancer-AIDS and no money, and everything is gray.

That’s why Emmy wants to fulfill her BIGGEST DREAM: going to Wangerooge in the autumn and standing on the gray beach there.

To make this extraordinary dream come true, she and Gronkhe steal the 35-year-old Passat belonging to her cool doctor (Elias M‘Barek) and embark on a wonderful journey.

On Wangerooge, she meets Lief-Fynn (also Elias M‘Barek)—a cancer-stricken piano teacher/doctor/single dad who works as a fisherman on weekends—and begins a wonderful journey with him, too.

In the end, they take his fishing boat to Berlin—BERLIN AND BERLIN—and watch the sunrise from a filthy high-rise; the sunrise is played by Matilmas Schweigerhöfer.

The End.

      Clash Royale – Starting next Monday, we should hold weekly zoom meetings to go over war recaps and performance break downs.

        Its a Clash Royale clan copypasta where clan leaders are asking for Zoom meetings to go over their wars.

        Starting next Monday, I believe we should hold weekly zoom meetings (cameras on, preferably) to go over war recaps and performance break downs. We'll be reviewing every members war battle replay by replay and giving honest, in depth critiques.

This isn't to call anyone out, but to sharpen our strategy and make sure we're all pulling our weight. Lately, our wars have been getting too close For comfort, and it's time to level up. Expect accountability, Feedback, and a serious push towards clean Ws
        Starting next Monday, I believe we should hold weekly zoom meetings (cameras on, preferably) to go over war recaps and performance break downs. We'll be reviewing every members war battle replay by replay - and giving honest, in depth critiques. This isn't to call anyone out, but to sharpen our strategy and make sure we're all pulling our weight. Lately, our wars have been getting too close For comfort, and it's time to level up. Expect accountability, Feedback, and a serious push towards clean Ws

        Brawl Stars

        Attention, club members. With Mega Pig approaching next week, it's clear our previous performances have been... disappointing Therefore, mandatory Discord meetings will begin. Cameras ON (preferably), microphones ON, excuses OFF.
Every replay will be reviewed, every missed shot investigated, and every Edgar pick will require an explanation.
Power Point presentstion on how to draft are needed
This is not to shame anyone-it's simply to ensure this club finally remembers how to win. Good luck soldiers

        MY ANTI DEPRESSANTS JUST KICKED IN ! FANTASTIC !

          MY ANTI DEPRESSANTS JUST KICKED IN ! FANTASTIC ! __ _______ ______ ╱ /\__/\ // ╲╲ ______⊂╱ ( ´∇` ) // ⊃ ||╲ フ 🡖 ,´__▔▔▔▔╱ ▔╱▔ ⌒▔▔▔▔╱▔▔▔▔ 🡖▔ ▔▔▔▔▔🡖 ▔▔▔▔ | ,╱_ _╱ /-o—/ ___ ╱▔▔╱ ___/\ | ▔ | /\__| ,========————´=============/⌒ ╲=/=======||🡖 || | __ | GAY! | __ ” |⌒| |/ ___/| )╯ )|🞕|_∈≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡∋__|🞕|” __|| ╯ ╯__ -‒‒‒‒‒┘ ╯ ▔╲ ▔╲__╯▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔三三三▔╲ ╲__╯ ▔▔ 三三三三╯ 三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三 三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三三

          Just as Lorgar intended

            Its the ‘Own a musket for home defense‘ copypasta but changed Erebus from Warhammer 40K and in greentext form.

            >Be me
>Be praying
>Hear a bulkhead smash at 0400 shiptime
>Grab my arming chamber defence sacrifices because that's what the Holy Aurelian intended when he wrote the Book of Lorgar
>Run out of the chamber and see two Ultramarines
>Defile a sacrifice, the first corpse worshipper's head is sucked through his navel
>He's now a spot on the floor
>The ritual gets out of hand and turns subfloors 30-50 to a wall of flesh
>Grab my backup sacrifice and offer them to Tezen
>He answers my plea by transforming my favourite serf in to a pink horror
>It starts to massacre it's way through the monastic deck >Activate my crozius and wallop the second non-believer 15 times
>"Acquire" some new sacrifices in case any more sons of Guilliman arrive
>Fellow Bearers of The Word knock and enter upon hearing the ruckus
>Can't hear or see because of the psychic feedback
>Mistakenly daemogorge the Company's Dark Apostle
>Mauled Ultramarine bleeds out before he can be properly sacrificed because power weapon wounds are impossible to stitch up
>Just as Lorgar intended

            The way he worded is simply rude. He could’ve say like “not yet” or “still didnt”

              Somebody asked Nial Horan (ex-member of One Direction) if he has listened to the new BTS song and he replied no. A BTS fan accused him of being rude for the response and that became a parody to mock unhinged Kpop stans.

              The way he worded is simply rude. He could've say like "not yet" or "still didnt" but the way he said it, it seems like "i haven't and what about it" . Idgaf about nial but i wont bear if anyone disrespect bts music