I was just in my bed, jacking off and suddenly my grandma just opens the door and stares directly at me. She had brought some clothes and wanted to know if they were mine. I, as fast as possible, pulled away my "aa-battery", and just shouted at her "What?" (Very annoyed). She left my clothes on my chair and left the room. But before she closed the door, she winked at me.
This was all I needed to know. She knew. She knew exactly what I was doing, and I feel so embarrassed that if I were to die of a heart attack, I would thank God for letting me skip the dinner.
I should add that none in my family is really religious.
Anyway, thank you for reading this monstrosity of a post. I'll now go and watch youtube, hoping to forget this experience.
Where to fuckin begin? 8 arms. 8 dicks. Same time. Not persuaded? He also has a mouth. The guy can work 9 men at the same time. 8 20$ handjobs plus the one Guy getting a 50$ blowjob earns him 210$ in one session. But we’re not even done yet. 100$ to get butt fucked by a 10th guy, that’s 310$ in one session! Dick shaped nose goes up a guys ass, another 10$ there, actual dick goes up a guys ass, an easy 25$. And considering most men cum in under 5 minutes? He could have SO many of these orgies a day. He can basically earn as much as he wants to. Shit, he has countless suction cups on his tentacles. Put those babies on some nipples 5$ a minute? Man. Squidward my Guy, if you were smarter you could afford to move yourself way the fuck away from spongebob. Now that I think about it, you know how many holes spongebob has?? Need I say more?? Imagine squidward and spongebob teaming up, they could fuck SO. MANY. DUDES. I’m talking a million dollar gay prostitution EMPIRE. And with how absorbent spongebob is? Pshh. Talk about bukkake king. Use your fucking head squidward.
STOP POSTING ABOUT SQUID GAME! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT, MY FRIENDS ON TIK TOK SEND ME MEMES, ON DISCORD ITS FUCKING MEMES. I was in a server, right? AND ALL OF THE CHANNELS ARE JUST SQUID GAME STUFF. I SHOWED MY NEW TRACKSUIT TO MY GIRLFRIEND AND I SAID "hey babe, I'm on squid game." HAHA MUGUNGHWA KKOCHI PIOTASEUMNIDA, I FUCKING LOOKED AT A MAN GETTING SHOT AND SAID, "Uh oh, he failed this game!" I LOOKED AT THE HEAD OF MY PENIS, I THINK OF THE SUPERVISOR'S MASK AND I GO "PENIS? MORE LIKE PENSUPERVISOR," AAAAAAAAA
whats that? holy shit. holy fucking shit. you fucking genius. did you actually just correct someone's spelling? you fucking madlad. i can't believe i just witnessed one of the greatest achievements in human history right now. i think im gonna cry, im so excited. to be honest, i would suck your dick to reward you for your HUGE contribution to the human race if the line wasnt so long. you know what? fuck it. ill let you fuck my wife. ill pay you to fuck her. only for the slim chance that one of her kids will have a small part of your magnificent iq. ill mortgage my fucking house just so you could have 15 minutes with her, while hoping that your MASSIVE cock won't rip her in half. after that, we should start a religion for you. fuck jesus, the only thing this dick did is resurrect himself. you are entitled to the praise he's getting. we should make you immortal. losing you would mean stopping the human evolution and we would all revert to monkeys, not that we are more than monkeys in your majestic presence. I suggest we go to the UN and tell them to hand over all their authority to you, im sure you can unite all the people of the world just with a single swing of your cock, making the entire population wet in the process. just before that one more thing: can you shut the fuck up? nobody cares about that fucking typo you single chromosomed retarded gnome. I bet you think you are so fucking smart and witty after pointing something that didnt bother anyone. God, you are fucking pretentious, i bet you actually believed all of the text above. Did you think i would let you fuck my wife? She is only 12 you sick paedophile. Im calling the police so you could be tortured for eternity while your remains will be forcibly fed to everybody from your family or anyone even remotely related to you while they are forced to anally fuck a penguin. no, seriously do you think i'm joking? i'll come to your house and fuck your ass with a cactus. not that you would feel it after all the things you already had up there. you're a fucking twat that doesnt contribute to society and you deserve to die slowly.
I HATE YOU MIHOYO ★☆☆☆☆
Why sis you nerf Kokomi. WHY HUH. *grows demon alpha wings and strangles you* YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING. *breathes fire on your face* WHY DID YOU GIVE ME YOMIYA AT 9 PITY? WHEN YOU KNEW I WANTED KOKOMI? *flies into the air* AND ARE WE ONLY GETTING 10 LIMITED WISHES ON THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY? THAT'S NOTHING COME ON. *starts singing fight song* (Also please give me the fish claymore.)
