Skip to content

Trump blames Tylenol for autism

    💊🚨 LISTEN UP YOU BRAIN-ROTTED FUCKS 🚨💊 DONALD TRUMP 🍔🍟 just dropped a HOT 🔥 take 🥵💦 TYLENOL 💊💥 causing AUTISM 🧠👾 it’s the TYLENOL 💊🙈, causing the ASS burgers 🍔🍑 📏💦 giving ALL of us a BRAINBANG 💥🧠 Mix 🔃🔄 💦💦 Leucovorin 💧with some 😏 of DADDY TRUMPS💘👑 SECRET 🙉 SAUCE 🍯👨‍🍳, and you’ll 💙 be 🤰 CUMPLIMENTING your 🙈MINECUNT ⛏️ A-DICK-TION 🍆 like 👭 never 🚫 before! 💰😩 🧙‍♂️✨ Get 🕴🏽 ready 💅🏼 to SWALLOW 😮 🔥🍯, you 👈 can 🙋🔝🏃‍♀️ be 📖 CURED! 🧙‍♂️✨Now just REMEMBER, the ONLY thing you should be popping 💊 is that TIGHT ASS 🍑💦 in CUNTNITE 🤤💋! Because trust me, it ain’t the TYLENOL causing AUTISM 🤡💩, IT’S THE CUMMIES 💦💦! Send this to 5️⃣ of your HORNY 💦 friends 🦷👅 or else 👉 both your RO-COCKS and your chances of escaping the AUTISM LABOR CAMP 💥⛓️ will go RIGHT DOWN THE DRAIN! 🚽🤣

    1. 據說刻律德菈陛下曾想了一個高明的辦法來懲戒那些敢嘲笑她身高的傢伙，可惜太高了勾不到只能作罷。

      Cerydra copypasta

      Its a list of copypastas poking fun at Cerydra’s height from Honkai Star Rail by Chinese fandom.

      1. 據說刻律德菈陛下曾想了一個高明的辦法來懲戒那些敢嘲笑她身高的傢伙，可惜太高了勾不到只能作罷。

2. 曾經有人詢問邁德漠斯閣下，為何天譴先鋒的橫掃傷害較低，下劈的傷害很高？邁德漠斯閣下思考了一下解釋道：「這得從千年前說起了，那時懸鋒城和奧赫瑪還是敵對關係。」

3. 為何刻律德菈陛下如此智慧，總是料敵於先，算無遺策？也許要歸功於陛下把大腦保護得很好，從來沒有磕到過頭。

4. 據野史記載刻律德菈陛下與劍旗爵海瑟音閣下的相遇頗具宿命的意味。彼時家園被毀滿心迷茫的海瑟音閣下以海妖的形態藏身於一條小溪中，而刻律德菈陛下正率領著部隊要渡過這條小溪。騎著大獸的騎兵說：「水真淺啊，才到大地獸的大腿。」穿著鎧甲的步兵說：「水真淺啊，才到我的肚子。」刻律德菈陛下說：「咕嚕咕嚕咕嚕叫......」海瑟音閣下實在看不下去了，只得將刻律德菈下提出水面。自此命運的齒輪開始轉動，才有了後來波瀾壯闊的故事。

5. 據說刻律德菈陛下在決定開啟逐火之旅後，將自己鎖在房間裡書寫作戰計畫。金織爵透過金線感應了一下陛下的狀態後，擔憂地對劍旗爵說道：「你快勸勸陛下休息吧，她列出的作戰計劃都和她人一樣高了！」劍旗爵想了想疑惑地說道：「那不是沒多少嗎？」

6. 根據懸鋒人的字典記載，"短兵相接"的意思是和刻律德菈陛下麾下的士兵接觸作戰。

7. 如果桌上有一個空白的本子，海瑟音閣下會記錄某段優美的旋律，阿格萊雅閣下會記錄某種服飾的裁剪，刻律德菈陛下會夠不著。

8. 凱撒設宴－高朋滿座。

9. 為何刻律德菈陛下身為肩負塔蘭頓權柄之半神，卻沒有任何"天秤"元素？因為在最開始刻律德菈陛下是有一把天秤的，可是無論如何天秤的托盤總會垂落在地上，於是陛下把天秤兩邊的鎖鏈一再改短，等到托盤終於不再垂在地上時，天秤已經變成了刻律德菈陛下的權杖。

10. 有人擔心，刻律德菈陛下皇冠上燃著一團火，要是遇到下雨怎麼辦？別擔心，如果下雨，凱撒陛下身邊的護衛會比陛下提前十秒感受到雨滴落下，而十秒足夠凱撒陛下站在大地獸肚子下面避雨了。

11. 為什麼刻律德菈陛下是黃金裔的核心？因為根據木桶效應，最短的一截決定一切。

12. 我突然想到了一個絕妙的關於凱撒陛下的笑話，可惜這裡空白太小寫不下。不過倒是足夠放一張刻律德菈陛下的照片。

      English translation *not perfect translation*

      1. It’s said that Her Majesty Cerydra once came up with an over the top way to punish those who dared mock her height. Unfortunately, it was placed too over the top for her to reach—so she had to give up on it.

2. Someone once asked Lord Mydei, “Why does the sweeping strike of Divine Castigation deal low damage, but the overhead slash deals high damage?” Lord Mydei thought for a moment and said: “Well, that goes back a thousand years, when Xuanfeng City and Oghma were still enemies…”

3. Why is Cerydra so wise, always anticipating the enemy’s moves and never making a mistake? Maybe it’s because she’s protected her brain well—never bumped her head once.

4. According to unofficial lore, the first meeting between Cerydra and Hysilens, the Banner Marquis, was steeped in fate. At the time, Hysilens, her home destroyed and spirit adrift, had taken her siren form and hidden in a stream. Cerydra, leading her forces, needed to cross it. The mounted warrior said: “The water’s so shallow—it only reaches the earthbeast’s thigh.” The armored soldier said: “The water’s so shallow—it only comes up to my stomach.” Cerydra said: “Glug glug glug…” Hysilens, unable to watch any longer, surfaced and pulled Cerydra out of the water. From that moment, the gears of destiny began to turn, and so began the grand tale that followed.

5. It’s said that when Cerydra decided to begin the Ember-Chasing Campaign, she locked herself in her room to draft a battle plan. The Golden-Weave Marquis, sensing her state through his threads, said to the Banner Marquis: “Go convince Her Majesty to rest—her battle plans are already as tall as she is!” The Banner Marquis paused and replied, confused: “Isn’t that… not very tall?”

6. According to the Xuanfeng Dictionary, “close-quarters combat” refers specifically to engaging with Cerydra’s soldiers.

7. If there’s an empty notebook on the table— Hysilens would write down a beautiful melody, Aglaea would sketch a new outfit design, Cerydra… wouldn’t be able to reach it.

8. Caesar made a feast – a high-pitched seat.

9. Why doesn’t Cerydra, a demigod bearing Talanton’s authority, wield the “Scales” element? She used to have a pair of scales. But no matter what, the plates would always drag on the ground. She kept shortening the chains again and again. Eventually, the plates stopped touching the ground— But the scales had become her scepter.

10. Some worry about the fire burning atop Cerydra’s crown—what if it rains? No need to worry. When it rains, Caesera’s guards can feel the raindrops falling ten seconds in advance. That’s more than enough time for Cerydra to duck under an earthbeast’s belly to stay dry.

11. Why is Cerydra the heart of the Goldenblood lineage? Because of the barrel principle— It’s always the shortest plank that determines the limit.

12. I just came up with a brilliant joke about Caesera, But the space here is too small to write it. It is, however, just the right size for a photo of Cerydra.

      I’ve never wanted to be crushed by anyone more than I want to be crushed by Junker Queen. That perfect, 7-foot giantess stature.

        By u/urgod42069, its the Witch Mercy copypasta but adapted to Junker Queen.

        Guys, I’m shaking. I’m fucking shaking. I’ve never wanted to be crushed by anyone more than I want to be crushed by Junker Queen. That perfect, 7-foot giantess stature. That jaw-dropping six-pack. The muscles of a literal bodybuilding goddess. I want nothing more than to be put in a chokehold by her until my face turns as blue as her mohawk. It honestly fucking hurts knowing I will never be subjugated by her. I’d do anything for an opportunity to be pinned up against a wall by Junker Queen. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can’t is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Blizzard create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fucking can’t anymore. Fuck.

        if you were the toriel cosplayer who gave me a blowjob at dragoncon, PLEASE inbox me. i think you took my wallet. it looks like an NES

          https://www.tumblr.com/culbi/778090127600812032/if-you-were-the-toriel-cosplayer-who-gave-me-a

          Started from a now deleted Tumblr account by ‘thelegendofzeldamajorasmask’ who made the original post about getting a blowjob from a toriel cosplayer who accidentally took his wallet. It instantly became a meme because of how funny it was and many different variations of the copypasta had since been created.

          Toriel from Undertale (original)

          if you were the toriel cosplayer who gave me a blowjob at dragoncon, PLEASE inbox me. i think you took my wallet. it looks like an NES

          Rainmaker from Binding of Isaac

          If you're the Rainmaker cosplayer who gave me a blow job at comic con, PLEASE contact me. I think you took my wallet. It looks like an NES.

          Mori Calliope from Hololive

          IF YOU WERE THE KIARA COSPLAYER THAT GAVE ME A BLOWJOB AT THE HOLOLIVE COUNCIL PANEL, PLEASE GIVE ME BACK MY VAPE, IT IS CRANBERRY GRAPE FLAVOURED AND I THINK YOU STOLE IT FROM ME, THANK YOU

          Bro, I played against chovy, shovy, whatever the fuck his name is

            Tyler1 Chovy copypasta

            Its from a clip of Tyler1 ranting on Chovy in NA SoloQueue. In the clip, Tyler criticized Chovy for caring so much about Creep Score that it negatively impacts his team. Its became meme because it was 100% true based on how Chovy plays in World Championship.

            Bro, I played against chovy, shovy, whatever the fuck his name is. Dude this guy is ill. So I beat him obviously I beat that fucking bastard. He is so easy to play against because... I play against him Sion mid. Dude, I think this guy has an illness. No,no,no he will not sack waves ever like to the point where he is negatively impacting his team. For instance, he could have won a teamfight. Would he have died yes but he would have got like a 4 man shurima shiffle, actually he would have. It would have been nuts. But if he did the play, he would have died, his team would have won, and he wouldn't be able to farm midlane. So he just didn't go to it or try it. I was like wtf. I would push a side wave and I was like wait a minute I bet he tps here and not miss the wave and he tps so I was like okay how about this so I slow pushed a 3 stack wave toplane, I had Oner on my team, and we dove him because we knew he would be there even though everybody else on my team -his team was fighting botside, Bro so easy oh my god

            Mom found the yaoi

              astryuuna script for 'Mom found the yaoi' video
              original video
              Mom found the yaoi

*inhale* AHHH! ...ok. so... so, my mom told me to clean my room, right?:cry: and i was like "yeah yeah yeah yeah in a minute in a minute", and, *sniff* basically, i- i come back down and i find that my room's sparkly and clean, and... and i was like "omg thank you mom ilysm!:heart_eyes:" and then... um, like i have this like thing, *moves camera to show said thing* over, i have this thing here, where it opens up, and i've... *sniff* ...and it's where i would keep all of my yaoi!:pleading_face: and, as you can see...:cry: as you can see, it's empty now...! because... *exhale* because my mom went through it...:cry: and she got rid of all my yaoi! :frowning2: *sniff* but... but she didn't say anything about it!:pleading_face: so... *sobs* fuck... because,:pleading_face: *sob* and now i don't even know what i'm gonna do,:cold_sweat: because... i would read it to myself every night, and every single day when i got back from school... i- i would read it to myself, sometimes it was wholesome, sometimes it was toxic, depending on the mood i was in. :cry: and now i dont know what to do because...:pleading_face: 'cuz it's been part of my routine since like middle school!:sob: okay!??!?!?!? :sob: *sniff* *sob* and... and i don't wanna cry because i spent so long doing my eyeliner.:pleading_face: and:pleading_face: i don't know what to do because my yaoi was so expensive and even i had yuri in there too!:persevere: because, *sniff* because i like an even balance of things,:cry: *sniff* and... :pleading_face: *AOUGHOIUGHJHJIIGHOUUUGHHU* *sniff* and the yuri is gone too! and...:pleading_face: and now i dont know what to do because... *sniff* cuz i dont have...:pleading_face: any yaoi and i dont have any yuri and i have no money.:pleading_face: *sniff* because, it was so expensive:pleading_face: and i've been saving up for some months to buy all of it, cuz it was, cuz it is, it was completely filled to the BRIM. I HAD. A YAOI HAVEN... *heaven? i- i dont know my brain is MUSHED now!:confounded: and... **AAOIUGHHOOUUGHH. :frowning2: *sniff* and i've, this is... this is the most soul crushing experience that i've EVER gone through.:cry: and... and i don't know what to do:pleading_face: because... my yaoi, it was my everything, and how am i supposed to fujo out now?:cry: *sniff* and... *deeply distressed exhale* so. *sob* ...YAOI JESUS SAVE ME. yaoi jesus save me...:pleading_face: *sob* and i dont evenenoiugihn........ *sob* *exhale* *sniff* and i dont even know what to do because like... *sob* cuz i cant tell her to give it back... because she donated it to the goodwill.:pleading_face: *sniff* and now...:pleading_face: and now someone else is gonna have my yaoi... AND IT'S MINE!!!!!!!:japanese_ogre::japanese_ogre: I WANT IT BACK! if you are at the goodwill, *sniff* and you see a yaoi collection. GIVE IT BACK TO ITS RIGHTFUL OWNER. i don't know what to do im. im LOSING IT. and. *sniff* i took... i had to take my clonazepam to calm myself down. *sniff* because... *exhale* i had to... i had to take... my clonazepam... to calm myself down... but it's NOT WORKING!:pleading_face: ITS NOT!!!!!!!!!!!! and i dont think anything WILL WORK! because... :face_with_raised_eyebrow: oh my arm looks so skinny!:smiling_face_with_3_hearts: look how skinnny it looks!:smiling_face_with_3_hearts: *sniff* ...oh yeah my yaoi! :exploding_head: FAAUUVCKCCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:japanese_ogre::japanese_ogre::japanese_ogre: ...*exhale* ...please,:pleading_face: show some love for my fallen yaoi, AND yuri, the yuri is equally as important... please, i don't know what i'm gonna do anymore, i feel like my life, is, just... *sniff* falling apart.:cry: and... i feel, hopless and lost, and, *exhale* *sniff* and i was freaking out so much. and... *sniff* my mom...:cry: my mom was gonna check me back into the mental hospital,:cry: and i'm saying "i dont wanna go to the mental hospital, i just want my yaoi back!":pleading_face::sob: and she doesnt understand...:pleading_face: *exhale* *sniff* whoever has my yaoi now...:cry: *sniff* please take care of it.:pleading_face: please... please give it love, please... whenever they have... whenever the bottom... whenever the uke... gets... get's in right in the, asshole, please go- "KYYAAAAAAA!!!!!!~~~:heart_eyes: "... that's what you have to do, that's the appropriate reaction. please, give it the respect it deserves. because... cuz that reassurance is all i need right now.:cry: because there's nothing i can do to get it back.:cry: so please, just promise... that you'll fujo out, while reading. that's... that's all im asking.