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I have a very weird confession about geometry dash.

    By u/Gryllodea, its a shitpost towards another post about a person feeling sexual when playing Geometry Dash. 

    I have a very weird confession about geometry dash.

Alright, throwaway for obvious reasons. This is so deeply embarrassing that I've never told a single person in my life. But I saw this post the other day, and for the first time ever, I didn't feel completely insane. So I'm just gonna rip the band-aid off.

My whole life, I've felt like I was "broken" when it came to this stuff. I'm asexual and aromantic. I don't look at people and feel that. Honestly, most porn makes me feel kinda sick. I figured my wiring was just... different, and that was that.

But then there's Geometry Dash.

It sounds like a joke, I know. It sounds like a bad meme. It's not. It's the most confusing, shameful, and real thing I've ever dealt with.

I'm not talking about levels with cute art. I'm talking about the pure, raw gameplay. A perfectly synced dual sequence. A clean, tight wave part where every click lines up with the music. A smooth, flowing ship section with impossible-looking turns. Watching a really well-made, difficult level gets me so... intensely, physically worked up that I can't control it. It's a direct, involuntary physical reaction. I've had to stop watching YouTube videos of levels because of it. It’s that powerful, and that embarrassing.

After reading that other post, I fell down a rabbit hole trying to understand why. The closest thing I've found that makes sense is that it's not actually a fetish. A fetish is when you're attracted to something. I'm not attracted to the level. It's more like my brain completely misfires.

The satisfaction I get from watching perfect gameplay, the rhythm, the precision, the visual ASMR of it all, its so powerful that my brain seems to misinterpret that flood of "YES, THIS IS PERFECT" feeling as sexual arousal. My body just follows orders from the wrong signal. It's apparently a real, studied thing: a "misattribution of a non-sexual stimulus."

So... yeah. I'm the guy who has to take a cold shower after watching a good Neiro showcase. It feels pathetic to type out, but there it is. If there's anyone else out there who gets it, even a little... hi. You're not a monster. You're just wired in a really, really weird way.

    Balatro

    I have a very weird confession about balatro

Alright, throwaway for obvious reasons. This is so deeply embarrassing that I've never told a single person in my life. But I saw this post the other day, and for the first time ever, I didn't feel completely insane. So I'm just gonna rip the band-aid off.

My whole life, I've felt like I was "broken" when it came to this stuff. I'm asexual and aromantic. I don't look at people and feel that. Honestly, most porn makes me feel kinda sick. I figured my wiring was just... different, and that was that.

But then there's Balatro.

It sounds like a joke, I know. It sounds like a bad meme. It's not. It's the most confusing, shameful, and real thing I've ever dealt with.

I'm not talking about jokers with cute art. I'm talking about the pure, raw gameplay. A perfectly built up economy. A clean, tight boss blind where every hand and discard matters. A smooth, flowing strategy with impossible-looking pivots. Watching a really well-played, difficult yet somehow possible gold stake win gets me so... intensely, physically worked up that I can't control it. It's a direct, involuntary physical reaction. I've had to stop watching DrSpectred and Roffle because of it. It’s that powerful, and that embarrassing.

After reading that other post, I fell down a rabbit hole trying to understand why. The closest thing I've found that makes sense is that it's not actually a fetish. A fetish is when you're attracted to something. I'm not attracted to the joker. It's more like my brain completely misfires.

The satisfaction I get from watching perfect gameplay, the triggers, the precision, the visual ASMR of it all, its so powerful that my brain seems to misinterpret that flood of "YES, THIS IS PERFECT" feeling as sexual arousal. My body just follows orders from the wrong signal. It's apparently a real, studied thing: a "misattribution of a non-sexual stimulus."

So... yeah. I'm the guy who has to take a cold shower after watching a good Perkeo-less naneinf. It feels pathetic to type out, but there it is. If there's anyone else out there who gets it, even a little... hi. You're not a monster. You're just wired in a really, really weird way.

    Niflheim copypasta

      This copypasta is a chaotic text transcription of the level “Niflheim” in Geometry Dash by the player Koreaqwer.

      The text is a direct reading of the on-screen text objects and gameplay modes that flash during the level, combined with the end credits. It became a meme in the Geometry Dash community due to the level’s notoriously weird decoration, the “spammy” nature of the text, and the controversy surrounding its verification.

      LDM ball cube ball big cube ball next Rest In Peace niflheim vismuth slow wave fast robot keep going! slow ship go! slow ball Auto? fast dual ship slow fast ufo slow How? fast ship slow cube fast ball lol slow robot in out slow ufo take a break ????? !!!!! ?? ?! ??! !! ?! !! ?!!? ??! !! ?!!? ??! ?! ?? !! ?? !! ?? ?! ??! ?!!? ?? ??! ?! !! ?!!? slow ufo go! go! Yeah! fast cube dual wave watch out! faster! OMG! mini next next great! verified by NIFLHEIM koreaqwer

      Games, games, games, that’s all you know.

        Games, games, games, that's all you know. This is a LEARNING website for students! It's called Renderforest. Why didn't you ask "Website name" instead of "Game name"? Did you play Roblox 24 hours a day? You literally almost forgot everything. Now please put your phone down and do some chores instead of focusing about games! Okay, thank you and have a nice day.
        Copypastas, copypastas, copypastas, that's all you know. This is a LEARNING platform for university students! It's called Reddit. Why didn't you ask "Platform name" instead of "Can someone turn this into a copypasta"? Did you use 4Chan 24 hours a day? You literally almost forgot everything. Now pleade turn your pc off and do some grass touching instead of focusing about copypastas! Okay, thank you and have a nice day.

        I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles

          The original was about Flying Lotus and many variations of celebrities came after that.
          The original was about Flying Lotus and posted on 4chan.

          The original version of the “I saw <Famous person> at a grocery store in LA” copypasta. It was based on a producer/DJ named Flying Lotus and started as a comment on a 4chan thread back in 2012. It was so absurd that people made different variations of other famous people until it became mainstream.

          I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
          
I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

          The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

          When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

          Roblox report tech for toxicity

            Its a technique in Roblox where you report someone before they do anything under ‘Text Chat’ and ‘Bullying’ and then send this prompt. Whenever they say anything mean such as ‘ez’ they’ll get a temporary ban for toxicity.

            Calling me “dog,” “mutt,” “loser,” “ez” (disrespectful slang in another language), and other insults; repeated harassment and spamming of insults; sustained verbal abuse intended to demean, provoke, or intimidate; targeting me personally rather than discussing gameplay; hostile language meant to humiliate or belittle; continuing harassment after being ignored or told to stop; chat flooding and spam to disrupt communication; provoking arguments intentionally; discriminatory or degrading remarks; name-calling as harassment; baiting reactions for harassment purposes; attempting to manipulate me emotionally; asking for personal information such as my age, real name, location, school, or social media; attempting to move conversations off-platform; promoting or encouraging the use of Discord or other external links; violating child-safety rules through inappropriate personal conversation; grooming behavior including excessive personal attention, boundary-pushing questions, or manipulation; referring to or talking about my family members without consent; asking about or mentioning my daily routines or real-life activities; attempting to identify me outside the platform; stalking-adjacent behavior (probing for real-world details); ignoring platform safety boundaries; repeated rule-breaking behavior across messages; creating an unsafe or hostile environment; misuse of chat features; harassment through persistence rather than single messages; behavior designed to evade moderation; continued abuse rather than a one-time incident.