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Briggsy Monologue

    Its Captain Briggsy monologue whenever you’ve accepted a voyage in Sea of Thieves.

    Thank you for accepting this most adventurous of expeditions! I’m searching for a specific skull, that’s why I asked multiple crews to embark on this voyage. Just be aware that once you have the chest, key, or skull, you’ll be visible to allll the other crews! You might have to fight them off the claim the reward for yourself! As soon as you bring the Skull of siren song to the destination I give you, I will make my presence known. So what are you waiting for? On with the quest!... oh, and good luck
    Thank you 🙏🏻 for accepting this most adventurous 🔭of expeditions ⛵️🌊! I’m searching 👀 for a specific skull 💀,that’s why I asked multiple crews 🏴‍☠️🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒👯 to embark 🐶on this voyage⛵️🌊. Just be aware 📣 that once you have the chest🎁, key🗝️, or skull💀, you’ll be visible👁️🫦👁️to allll the other crews 🏴‍☠️🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒👯. You might have to fight 🤺⚔️ them off the claim 👇🏻 the reward 🏆👑 for yourself🫵. As soon ⏱️ as you bring the Skull💀 of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️ song 🗣️🎶to the destination 📍🗺️ I give 🤲 you, I will make my presence 🙋🏻‍♂️ known 🧠🗯️. So what 🤷 are you waiting for⏳? On with the quest ⛵️🌊!... oh, and good luck🍀!
    Thank you for accepting this most adventurous of expeditions!

I’m searching for a specific skull. That’s why I’ve asked multiple crews to embark on this Voyage.

Just be aware that once you have the Chest, Key, or Skull, you’ll be visible to all the other crews.

You might have to fight them off to claim the reward for yourself… As soon as you bring the Skull of Siren Song to the destination I give you, I will make my presence known.

So what are you waiting for? On with the quest!

Oh, and good luck!

    DICK Cheney 🍆 DICKtator Cheney 🍆👴🏻💀, who went out with a BANG 💥💦

      💀😏 DICK Cheney 🍆 is finally six feet under ⬇️🌿 Old man DICK 🔫👴🏻 fired his last shot 💥🍆 — and baby, it was a messy one 💦💦 “Take my load,” he whispered 😈👌💦💣 Straight from the barrel, that gunpowder kiss 💋🎯 — sexy targets getting hit right on the spot 🍑🥵 The CUMback is real 🔙💦 Let’s face it 🕶️ — this old daddy 🍑 was into more than politics 😏 He was out here SKEET SHOTTING wet dreams 💦💕 yelling “PULL!” as the trigger went off 💥💃 No reloads, no mercy 💦💦 Just pure DICKENING energy 🍆💥 — mistake him for a quail and he’ll still shoot his shot 🔫😵‍💫 We’re talking SHOTGUNS 🔫💦 and SHAGS 🛏️🍑 He missed the DICK GOAL 🥅🍌 but left one hell of a bang 💥 💀🍆 Share this with 5️⃣ of your horniest friends 👯‍♀️👯‍♂️ or risk bad karma 😱💩 But if you do… get ready for a surprise party 🎉 loaded with whiskey 🥃 and way too many DICK jokes 🍆🍌🍑💥 
      🚪✊✊ KNOCK KNOCK‼️ Who's that🤔knocking👋🫣 on the 🔥GATES OF HELL?👹🔥Why, none other🙋‍♂️😝Than TRICKY😵‍💫DICK🍆CHENEY👴4️⃣3️⃣rd President🤴🦅 of the 🇺🇸🕳️United GAPES of America🗽⚰️☠️Dear Old Dick💕🧟‍♂️ loved war⚔️🧨 so much🥰😍he wanted it💭to last FOREVER♾️🕛🕐🕝 So he and his pals🧑‍🤝‍🧑🫂at 🏗️HalliBUSTIN' 🌈GAYtheon and 🍆COCKheed Martin👨‍💼🤑💰could keep making 💲💲💲‼️💵 Today😔we pour one out🍻For a world🌐class HATEriot🇺🇸 💘 who showed us that 🍈🍈profTITeering 🪖🗡️WHORE crimes and 📜❌dismantling the CUNTstitution💃🫦 Can be FUN🥳🎊Years before DONNY T🍊👔 got in on the action‼️‼️🏃‍♂️ Send📨💌this to 9️⃣1️⃣1️⃣ neoCUNTservatives👴👵💅 and you'll get shot💥in the fucking face🤯
      🦀🦀🦀SATAN👹👺😈⚔️ has his HANDS 👐🤲 FULL 🧺🛒💪💪 now that a NEW 🪩🆕🎊 RESIDENT 🔥🏡🔥🏠🔥🏘️🔥 has arrived in 🔥⚫HELL'S DEEPEST PIT🕳️ ♨️🔻cuz 🎉🎉💀DICK CHENEY☠️👄 the LEGEND🦅🧨💥💣🪖 HIMSELF 👑🏆🎖️has FINALLY FUCKIN DIED👻👻🪦🪦🎉🎉!! time to 🍾🍸🥂 CELEBRATE👯💃🕺 this proPIGandist🐽🐷🐖 WARHAWK🦅🪖🇺🇸🎖️ by remembering his 🏆🏅🎖️GREATEST HITS🎖️🏅🏆: BOMBINGS ✈️🤯💣, GENOCIDE 🙅⛔🚯👎😡😢, MILITARY🪖 COUPS🗽🔥🛢️💥, SHOOTING💥🔫his friend🦆💑🫂 in the 🚨⚠️ FUCKING FACE🫥🦆💥🔫🤯, and other 🚔🚔👮👮‍♀️🚓🚓CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY🪖🧨💦🏴‍☠️!!  🚨⚠️📟 but DID U KNOW 🧠❓😘😎👯‍♀️🆒!! he devoted 🛐🙏his life 😇🧬🫄👼 to DICKlaring 🍆🍆war 🚫🎯AGAINST🎯🚫 CIVILIANS🚸🪖🎒💦💂💦, STARVING🫗🥣👶CHILDREN🎒🧒🚼, DESTROYING ⛓️‍💥⛏️🪖🦅 COUNTRIES🌍🗺️🌐🛢️, DISMANTLING🧑‍🔧🧑‍⚖️🗽🔧 your RIGHTS📜🗽👮⚖️, and other unCUNTstitutional 🍑🦪🦪🍑acts and ppl 🤳☎️ called📟📞 him a HERO🤔🤷😡👎‼️🫨⁉️  today we pour one out 🍻🥂🍾 for one of the WORST PEOPLE🤢👿🤢 to ever do it‼️ so 🥵 BEND OVER💦 like a 🦅🇺🇸TRUE PATRIOT 🇺🇸🦅, SPREAD 🤸↔️UR LEGS 👯💃💃 like ur the FREEDOM 🦅🦅🗽🗽of infWHOREmation 📚📜📚act, LUBE UP🛢️🛢️🛢️💦💦💦, && send this to 2️⃣0️⃣0️⃣1️⃣ people u want to slip u their 🥵🌡️TRICKY DICKY 👁️👅👁️. GET5️⃣ BACK, you’ll give someone a 💦🥵🔥 WEAPON🍆🧨🥒 OF ASS🍑🍑🍑 DESTRUCTION 🚀💣🪵 IN THEIR PANTS👖🩳, get 🔟 back and u’ll get 👮🧑‍⚖️realpoliDICKED 👄🤤🤤🍆🍆DOWN 😏🚀🚀😏 tonight‼️🌃🍆💣💥
      RIP to the DICKtator Cheney 🍆👴🏻💀, who went out with a BANG 💥💦 at the ripe old age of 84! 🥳🍾 This BAD BOY 🥵 loved to take NO prisoners 🎭🎩 when it came to politics, especially when he was ERECTING policies 🍆⚒️ that made us all CUM to grips 🤯💦 with his SHADY dealings 🌪️💩! Now, he’s probably down there 👇🔥 playing with the DEVIL’s DICK 👹🍆, just waiting for his chance to POUND 🍑 the afterlife 🍆💦 with all the VICE he could desire! 😈😮‍💨 I bet even the ANGELS ☁️👼 are like, “Oh SHIT, what’s this grumpy old DICK gonna do next?!” 🤷‍♂️💥 So raise a toast 🥂 to old Cheney ⛩️, a man who knew the REAL power of the COCKtocracy 🍆👑! Send this to 7 SEXY fat cats 🐱💦 who’d appreciate this DICKtastic news 🎉💋, or you’ll be haunted by his HAUNTED DICK 🍆💀 for 84 years more! 👻💦💦💦
      WAKE UP PATRIOTS 🦅🇺🇸 FORMER VP DICK 🍆 CHENEY 🔫 IS DEAD ☠️! THE 🖤OIL INDUSTRY🖤 JUST LOST A 👿 BADDIE 🫨! TIME TO 🍾 PARTY 🎊 LIKE IT’S 2003 👾 AND INVADE SOME 😽🇮🇶CUNTRIES. GET OUT YOUR 💦 WATERBOARDING KITS 🌊😪 BECAUSE WE’RE ABOUT TO VIOLATE 🇺🇳 INTERNATIONAL LAW 🇺🇳 IN HIS HONOR! MAYBE EVEN SHOOT 🤠🔫 YOUR FRIEND 👬 IN THE FACE 🤗🤣 IF YOU’RE FEELING LIKE TRULY GRIEVING 🪦💔 THIS 🇺🇸AMERICAN ICON 🏈💵. NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS ❌🙅 FOR OUR BIG 🇺🇸AMERICAN🇺🇸 DICK 😩🍆!
      DICK Cheney 🍆💦, the legendary 🎩🚀 warhawk, just had his 🌈HIS FINAL ERECTION 🚪🍑 at 84 🔞💔! With a heart 💖 as black 🖤 as the SITH Lord’s, he left an entire buffet 🍗 of lies and backdoor deals 🚪🔑 💋 I guess he couldn’t handle all that 💥BACKLASH 😠🍆 from the MIDDLE EAST 💣💦! This old CUMranger 🍑🤠 is finally free from his d*ck-sucking ⚡️dodges and ASSgenda 💭🍑! If you thought 🍑 he was just sipping 🍹 while the world burned 🌋, think again, this man 🎩 had plans LOUD 🍑💦 as a hunting horn 🔊 calling for all the cock-n-warm action! 🎉😈 Just imagine him sliding into the afterlife 👻🌌, shaking hands with all the HOE-ly warriors 🙏💪💦! P.S. Did you know he loves to go FISHING 🎣💦 for HARD DONGS 🍆🌊💋? He didn’t just hunt 🔫 quail 🦆, he hunted that SLUTty LIFE 🍑👅 Let’s raise a glass 🥂🍻 to the man who truly knew how to RAISE HELL 🔥RIP DICK, you’ll always be our favorite CUMmander in CHEEFS 🥤💪💦💦💦! Share this to your 7️⃣ craziest friends 😜🔞 or you’ll miss out on the next WILD ride 🚀🍆🍑 in the political circus 🎪!

      If she ain’t Asian, I ain’t chasin. if she ain’t ABG, she ain’t the one for me.

        If she ain't Asian, I ain't chasin. if she ain't ABG, she ain't the one for me. If she ain't squinting, I ain't sprinting. If she ain't oriental, she ain't in my mental. If it ain't rice, it ain't nice. If my dog ain't in danger, she a stranger. If she ain't yellow, I ain't sayin hello. If she ain't Chinese, I ain't getting on my knees, If she ain't Japanese, She ain't what't happening, If she ain't Korean, then she ain't who I'm seein', If she ain't Filipino, That ain't who Ima see yo, If she ain't Thai, then i'm the wrong guy, If she ain't Sri Lankan, then her door ain't where i'm knocking. If the Ching ain't Chonging, then she ain't belonging. If she ain't Kawaii, I'm going to Hawaii. If her eyes ain't almond, then I ain't callin'. If it ain't K-Pop, I'm telling her "Hey, Stop!" If it ain't BTS, then she may be BS. If I can wear shoes in her house, I'd rather date a mouse. If it ain't noodles, I'm sayin toodles. If she ain't foriegn, then she borin'. If it ain't sushi, it ain't juicy. If it ain't Boba, then I don't wanna know ya. If she ain't playing Valorant, then I won't be tolerant. If it aint Chopsticks, you might as well grab them mopsticks. If she ain't raving, then she ain't who I'm saving. 
        If she ain’t Asian, I ain’t chasin. if she ain’t abg, I aint say’n a thing. If she aint squinting, I aint sprintin. If she aint oriental,she aint in my mental. If it aint rice, it aint nice. if my dog ain’t in danger, she a stranger. If she ain’t yellow, I ain’t sayin hello. If it ain’t noodles, I’m sayin toodles. If she ain’t forgein, she borin. If it ain’t sushi, it ain’t juicy.

        Hornet is the most compatible arachnid for humans

          By u/Fun-Celery-8988, its the Vaporeon copypasta but changed to Hornet from Hollow Knight.

          Hey guys, do you know that in terms of male human and female arachnid breeding, Hornet is the most compatible arachnid for humans? Not only is she resembling a human figure, but based on the "raindrop theory" plus the fact that Team Cherry is literally Australian, we can calculate that Hornet is about human size. That means she is large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with the fact that she is a demigod, you can be rough with the savior of Pharloom. Due to her silk-based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that the inside of Hornet is incredibly soft. Besides, natural silk is a carbon-based fiber that absorbs water easily, which means you can have sex with her for hours without getting sore. If you're on the kinky side, worry not because Hornet has complete control over her silk. That means she could make any shape out of silk from your imagination, and she could tie you or herself if you wanted to. Along with being half-naked most of the time, it would be incredibly easy to get you in the mood. With her ability to convert soul to silk and then to heal herself, she could easily recover as long as you keep pumping your "souls" into her. At worst, if you are some kind of savage beast that sends her flying, she would turn into a cocoon and would come right back at you if you have a bench nearby. Oh, did I mention that she has past experience? That means she would definitely know how to please you. Hornet is literally built for human dicks. A demigod + soul absorption + past experience, because of that she's a perfect partner.

          This is Guest 666🐐. A killer with vertical mobility✈️, 27 Sprint speed🏃, 9 stamina loss/second🏃

            Its the Ksante copypasta but changed to Guest 666 from the Roblox game “FORSAKEN”.

            This is Guest 666🐐. A killer with vertical mobility✈️, 27 Sprint speed🏃, 9 stamina loss/second🏃. Killer has 10% speed🏃 increase when abilities highlight💡 survivor (29.7 Sprint speed🏃). Has behead🪓 on holding M1 for 8 second cooldown⌚, furthermore the cooldown⌚ is only 4 seconds + Inflicts hemorrhage🩸if it hits. Then when they transform🐺 all cooldowns⌚ are refunded🤑 and they cannot be stunned💫 and then they get 4% more movement speed🏃 and with more movement speed🏃 Manic Fixation gets stronger and survivors are highlighted💡, you get cooldowns⌚ refunded🤑+ bloodhunt🩸 extended on kill🪦 and his E can be held to fake people out🤡 but it gets stronger💪 when you hold E so-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA😱😱

            Zohran Mamdani ELECTED MAYOR

              🚨HEY NEW YORK🗽START⏱️SPREADING👐THOSE🫵HOLES🕳️ AND CLOSE 🙏THOSE POLLS🗳️'CUZ FROM THE 📍BADONKADONX🍑TO 🙄FAPPEN💦ISLAND🚢 ZOHRAN🧔🏽‍♂️MAM-DADDY😩HAS BEEN ERECTED🍆MAYOR OF 🇳 🇾 🇨 🌭 DA BIG 🫦 APPLE 🍎 GET READY 4️⃣ FAST⚡AND FREE🤑BUSSIES🚌TAXING💸THE RICH🎩AND BENEFITS4️⃣SMALL🤏BUSSYNESSES🏪SEND📨THIS⬇️TO 1️⃣0️⃣FRIENDS TO LET THEM KNOW🤯AY‼️I'M WANKIN'✊🍆HERE💦
              👀 WAKE 🆙 COMMIE SLUTZ💋THIS JUST IN 🚨 LORD ZADDY ZOHRAN IS THE NEW MAYOR OF NYC 🤯THAT’S RIGHT 🎯 CUNT 🤛 HOPE YOU BROUGHT A CLEAN PAIR OF PANTIES BECAUSE ITS ABOUT TO BE A SLIP AND 🛝 UP IN HERE 💦 ZADDY’S GONNA FILL THAT HUNGRY 🍑WITH FREE HEALTHCARE 🥦, TAXES ON THE RICH 🍆, AND PUPPIES FOR EVERY BROAD WITH A WET 👄 NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND? 🥴MORE LIKE NO DICK LEFT UNSUCKED™️ BY THE TIME ZADDY FINISHES HIS TERM ALL OVER YOUR LIBBY TITS HUNTY😋
              🌹💦ZOHRAN MAM-DADDY 🥵🥵 just took 🎉😱 the NYC MAYORAL throne 🎤🏙 like a boss 💪💦, while CUOMO 👴🏻💦 gets CURB-STOMPED 💥🚫 by the VOTE 💋💋! It’s 🚌FREE BUS SEASON 🚍🍑, baby, and those ROSES 🌹🌹 are for ALL the GOOD BOYS 🍆 who can kiss Cuomo’s 🍌👋🍑 ass GOODBYE 👋👋! While we ride the BUS 🚍 to PLEASURE TOWN 🤤🎢, Cuomo’s crying into his wine 🍷😩 about being a TOXIC PEST 🦠👹 that nobody will ride, not even for a FREE RIDE 🍆🚫🚍! Forget 🍌 his sexual harass-ASS-ment 😭💔, we’re filling buses with HOT and HORNY 🌶😏 New Yorkers ready to STRUT 💃🏼🐔 through the city! Get ready New York, it’s time to PARTY 🥳🎊 and watch Cuomo eat his own 🍰 DICK while we celebrate Mamdani’s ROSEY ascension 🌹🙌💦
              🗣️CUMRADES‼️🚨‼️‼️ 🌹💦ZOHRAN MAM-DADDY 🥵🥵 just took 🎉😱 the NYC MAYORAL throne 🎤🏙

Ballots got RANKED andSPANKED 🍑📥 Andrew CUOMO? More like CUM GO 👴🏻💦 Forget 🍌 his sexual harass-ASS-ment 😭“I’m not perverted, I’m just Italian” 🇮🇹🤡 got CURB-STOMPED 💥🚫 by the VOTE💋💋, packing his nipple rings 🧷 and leaving one last greasy trail of shame behind him.🐌💨

It’s 🚌FREE BUSSY 🚍🍑 to PLEASURE TOWN 🤤🎢 for FOUR WHOLE 🕳️ YEARS. SOCIALIST DADDYCRATS 💪💦 are rising, CUOMO’S CRUSTY ASS IS RUINED 🏰💀, and every BAD BITCH 😈💋 and UNION HUNNIE 💜 is dancing on the ruins 💃🔥

It’s time to PARTY 🥳🎊, flip the power, and watch Cuomo eat his own DICK-TATORSHIP 🍰🍆 while Mamdani’s ROSES 🌹 BLOOM, the people MOAN, and NEW YORK CLITTY 😈stays for the people 🌹🙌💦!
              ON YOUR MARX 🚩 SET 😅 GO!! ⚒️😩 SHARIA JI-HEAD 👅🤤 is CUMMING 💦😤 to NEW YORK SLITTY 😳🏙️ DIRTY DICK 🍆😏 SLID 🥵🪭 down the RED 💋 HOT 🔥 HOLE 🍑🕳️ to HELL 🌡️🌋 cus he COULDNT TAKE 😵 ZOHRAN’S BLUE WAVE 🌊 CUMMING 🥛 you SLUTcialist 🛠️🥵 SIMPS 💦💧🤭 BETTER GET READY 😱 cus the RENT is GOING DOWN ⬇️👁️👅👁️ and the COCKLETARIAT 🍆🍌 is RISING 🪵⬆️ UP 🗿☝️ so THRUST 💘 this ERECTION DAY 😫 MESSAGE into 6️⃣9️⃣ CUNTstituents 🦪🌮 so the SPECTER of CUMMUNISM 👻 can SPREAD 🤤 the THICC 🍖 JUICY 🥩 CHEEKS 🍑🍔 of the BOURGEOISIE with its MEAT 🌭🍗 of REPRODUCTION 🍼💦
              UH-OH⁉️💢 NEW YORK 😱😩🗽 The polls 🗳️✅ have CLOSED 🍆💦🚫 and the people 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🫂 have SPOKEN 🗣️💋📢‼️ Who’s that 👀😳 tapping ✊🔨 that GAVEL 🔨🏛️ of CITY HALL 🤤? It’s ZOHRAN 👑✨ MOMMY 👩‍🍼 DOMMY 💦🤰🏾, the INCOMING 🫃💥 MAYOR 🧑‍⚖️ of your PANTS 👖‼️ She looked 👀 at your RENT 📈🤢 and said "LET'S FREEZE ❄️🧊 THAT" 🥶💦... she looked at daycare 👶🍼 and said "FREE 🆓 UNIVERSAL 🌍 CHILDCARE" 🍼👩‍🍼... and when the billionaires 🧛‍♂️💰 tried to slide into her DMs 📱, she left their PACs 💼🎁 on READ 👁️📵❌! She’s not here to CUT 🪚📉 your taxes 💸😴, she's here to SPREAD 🫦 YOUR CHEEKS 🍑 and RAISE 📈😍 your EXPECTATIONS 🤓📚💫! "Time for your FINANCIAL 👛💰 LECTURE 🧐📢," she whispers 😮‍💨🤫, while the landlords 🧛‍♂️ are put in the CORNER ⛓️😖 to THINK 🤔 about what they've DONE 🍆💦. "You WILL 👁️👁️⚡ make the city affordable 🤝🍼 and you WILL 👁️👁️⚡ like it 🥰😇." She’s passing MUNICIPAL POLICY 📄 like it's a plate of veggies 🥦 you HAVE to finish 🍽️😤 before you get your DESSERT 🧁 of AFFORDABLE HOUSING 🏘️✅! And we're not just building apartments 🏢, we're giving the whole city a FULL 🍆💦 SUBSIDIZED CLIMAX 💦🎉 where the only thing going UP 📈 is your satisfaction 😩 and the only thing going DOWN 📉 is your rent 🥵! And those new GOVERNMENT-RUN grocery stores 🏛️🛒🥦? The shelves 🛍️ will be STUFFED 🍆💦 and the prices will make you SCREAM 😱🤤! You'll be bending over 🍑 for these LOW 🫦 LOW 🫦 prices ‼️ Getting POUNDED 🥵 by AFFORDABILITY 🤑 on our THROBBING 💗💦 DISCOUNT PRODUCE 🥒🍌‼️ And those buses 🚌? They're not just FREE 🆓, they're giving BACKSHOTS 🏃‍♂️💨🍑 against the schedule ⏱️—so fast ⚡ and frequent 🔄 you'll be seeing stars 🌟💫 on your way to work 💼‼️ So SEND 📤 this to 5️⃣1️⃣% of your local city council 🧍‍♀️🧍🧍‍♂️ to get DOMMED by MOMMY 🤰 If you get 0 back you’re a CUOMO CUCK 👺 If you get 5 back you’re a CITY SLUT 🗽👙 If you get 20 back you’re a CERTIFIED COMMIE CUNT 💅