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Lavos Ragequit

    Original Lavos copypasta
    Smogon’s best villain monologue yet

    The Lavos aka “Unfortunate doesn’t begin to describe my series…” copypasta is an iconic meme within the competitive Pokemon “Smogon” community. It originated from a pro player ‘Lavos’ ragequit post on the Smogon forum after a series of unlucky events during a game.

    After the lost, it sparked the greatest ragequit of all time stemming from his attitude towards the game and its community. The original Lavos forum post and full context leading up to the iconic moment are often celebrated by the Smogon community.

    "Unfortunate" doesn't begin to describe my series, this game rewards blind luck and nothing else, I am beyond convinced at this point. After getting completely tooled by scheduling with my opponent changing times on me last minute and refusing to provide confirmation prior to the day of the match as to play times, losing this way somehow felt even worse than I had thought possible. My preparation was superior, my play was superior, and I lost, so I don't see a reason to continue engaging in an activity where what is within my control is overwhelmingly outweighed by what is not.
    
    I am done with competitive Pokemon, and you won't get a fond farewell. This community is infected to its roots with a degenerative disease that grows stronger over time but stops short of killing its host. Tournaments used to have a competitive spirit at their heart, this has been transplanted and replaced with an artificial organ that feeds on vitriol and mockery from insecure little boys that heckle by the sidelines and tear each other to shreds over scraps of attention. The environment we fostered has trapped us all like this in a vicious cycle, and escaping it requires acceptance of the harshest reality we all scramble to explain away, that none of the countless straining efforts we put ourselves through here will ever amount to one single shining glimmer of significance. I would make this the end, but World Cup is still ongoing, and I would never leave so many great friends out to dry, so I'll suffer through a few more games for them.
    
    One last thing before I leave you all to react with disdain, ridicule, and self-righteous fervor, before you do everything in your power to minimize my words and thoughts, box them up and shove them to some cobwebbed corner of your memory, and hope they disappear forever as a stain on your finite time ground to dust. From this moment on, nothing you say matters to me. The foulest insults you hurl with intent to wound will calmly settle at the earth before my feet, and the venom you spit will bring all the pain of a warm summer breeze. You are less than anything you can conceive, while I carry on, brimming with joy distilled from detachment.

    Lavos in-game chat before the ragequit

    The Lavos ragequit explanation
    i fucking had you
    
    i had you
    
    thunderpunch rachi guaranteed ohko
    
    this was the single biggest threat to my fucking team
    
    i played around it to the best of my ability
    
    and this bullshit
    
    after rby too
    
    enjoy your fucking trophy dude, i quit.
    
    Lavos forfeited.

    Lavos good ending

    "Outplayed" doesn't begin to describe my series, this game rewards pure skill and nothing else, I am beyond convinced at this point. After getting completely blessed by scheduling with my opponent sticking to the planned time and agreeing to provide confirmation prior to the day of the match as to play times, losing this way somehow felt even better than I had thought possible. My opponent's preparation was superior, my opponent's play was superior, and he won, so I don't see a reason to stop engaging in an activity where what is not within my control is overwhelmingly outweighed by what is.
    
    I am continuing with competitive Pokemon, and you won't get any kind of farewell. This community is flourishing to its roots with a purifying health that grows stronger over time and persists in bolstering its host. Tournaments have a competitive spirit at their heart, this has been cultivated and sustained by a natural organ that feeds on admiration and respect from confident mature men that cheer by the sidelines and bond with each other over appreciation of their shared hobby. The environment we fostered has welcomed us all like this into a gentle camaraderie, and joining it encourages acceptance of the sweetest reality we all blissfully cherish, that all of the countless straining efforts we put ourselves through here will always amount to endless radiant blazes of significance. I won't make this the end, and World Cup is still ongoing, and I would never leave so many great friends out to dry, so I'll enjoy many more games for them.
    
    One last thing before I leave you all to react with approval, praise, and humble satisfaction, before you do everything in your power to enhance my words and thoughts, frame them and display them on some polished trophy stand of your memory, and hope they last forever as a centerpiece of your finite time raised to prominence. From this moment on, everything you say matters to me. The kindest compliments you extend with intent to uplift will energetically propel themselves to the forefront of my mind, and the support you express will bring all the comfort of a warm summer breeze. You are more than anything you can conceive, while I carry on, brimming with joy distilled from affection.

    HELP I-😭 I DECIDED TO WEAR A PENCIL SKIRT IN SCHOOL AND THE BOYS YELLED “WOW HOURGLASS!” AND I INTRODUCED MYSELF. (I have a mommy voice) AND THEY ALL HAD NOSEBLEEDS😭

      Its the Pencil Skirt copypasta that started from Tiktok and is often spammed in the comment section as a joke.

      HELP I-😭 I DECIDED TO WEAR A PENCIL SKIRT IN SCHOOL AND THE BOYS YELLED "WOW HOURGLASS!" AND I INTRODUCED MYSELF. (I have a mommy voice) AND THEY ALL HAD NOSEBLEEDS😭
      Off topic but I remember these boys kept spying on me (I was wearing a tight maxi dress) and when I started talking (I have a mommy voice lol) there noses started bleeding and they called me mommy </3 

      Spanish version

      AYUDA- 😭 DECIDÍ PONERME UNA FALDA LÁPIZ EN LA ESCUELA Y LOS NIÑOS GRITARON "WOW RELOJ DE ARENA!" Y ME PRESENTÉ. (Tengo mommy voice) Y A TODOS LE SANGRARON LA NARIZ

      CHRISTIAN VEIL

      HELP I-😭 I DECIDED TO WEAR A CHRISTIAN VEIL IN SCHOOL AND THE BOYS YELLED “WOW CHRISTIAN” AND I INTRODUCED MYSELF. (I spread the gospel) AND THEY ALL PRAISED JESUS WITH ME 

      SKIBIDI TOILET

      HELP I- 😭I DECIDED TO WEAR A SKIBIDI TOILET TO SCHOOL AND THE TOILETS YELLED “WOW SKIBIDI!” AND I INTRODUCED MYSELF (I HAVE A SKIBIDI VOICE) AND THEY ALL SANG SKIBIDI TOILET WITH ME. 

      “WOW RHOMBUS”

      HELP -I 😭 I WORE A PENCIL SKIRT TO SCHOOL AND THE BOYS YELLED “WOW RHOMBUS” AND I INTRODUCED MYSELF (I sould like a dying otter) AND THEY ALL HAD EARBLEEDS 

      This is Mavuika ❤️‍🔥Pyro Queen 👸 370 Base Atk 🌩

        This is Mavuika ❤️‍🔥Pyro Queen 👸 370 Base Atk 🌩🤺 250% crit damage 🏋‍♂️ extra 40% crit rate from Codex 🎖Best Pyro on fielder 🌶 Best Pyro off fielder 👹 Buff team damage 🕶 buff more with cinder 🥋 No ICD 🤹‍♀️ exploration God 🏍 can retire Xiangling 👩‍🍳 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

        I’M LITERALLY AQUA

          "The boundary between 'me' and 'Hoshino Aqua' is steadily vanishing."

          Its a parody of the “I’ve become so much like Eren Jaeger it’s scary” copypasta but changed to Aqua from Oshi No Ko.

          I've become so much like Aqua Hoshino, it's scary.
          
          I don't have any friends and talk quietly. I can't connect on an emotional level to anyone and I'm distant even with my own family. When people gather in large groups, I'm the one sitting alone in the corner. I worry about my sister too much and would sacrifice myself for her in a heartbeat.
          
          I have blonde hair, wear blue clothes and sometimes a black hoodie. I can't help but smile whenever I see Kana. She is the light of my world. I am immediately interested in a video when I see it mention Kana.
          
          I'm bad with modern technology, like touchscreens, and say 'cheese' when I'm photographing someone. Sometimes I even stretch my hand up to the sky and say "The boundary between 'me' and 'Hoshino Aqua' is steadily vanishing."

          Dondozo copypasta 常年玩dondozo的人

            Dodonzo

            Best known as the Chinese Dondozo copypasta its actually an insult or hate towards players who play Dondozo in competitive Pokemon.

            常年玩dondozo的人大都目光呆滞,极度自卑,且智商逐年下降,最后完全沦为傻子。玩dondozo会破坏身体结构,引发各种不治之症。人一旦开始玩dondozo就说明这个人的智慧品行样貌通通都是下等,这辈子只能在阴沟里苟延残喘。玩dondozo的玩家具有强烈的反社会倾向,对治安稳定造成破坏危害正常人的生命。

            Translated to EN

            Most people who play dondozo all year round have dull eyes, extremely low self-esteem, and their IQs decrease year by year, and finally become complete fools. Playing dondozo can damage the body structure and cause various incurable diseases. Once a person starts playing dondozo, it means that his intelligence, conduct, and appearance are all inferior, and he can only live in the gutter for the rest of his life. Players who play dondozo have strong anti-social tendencies, causing damage to public security and stability and endangering the lives of normal people.

            The Zamazenta spam needs to stop

              I can't fucking take it anymore. This pokemon needs to be fucking gone. EVERY GOD FORSAKEN GAME HAS ZAMAZENTA. Out of your 6 pokemon, you need like 3 dudes just to beat one dog. It's too bulky to be killed by most special moves, even some that are super-effective, and its blistering speed allows it to get Iron Defenses so fast your head will spin. preventing any physical attacker from KOing it. This doesn't even address the fact that its uninvested attack stat allows it to bypass should-be counters with coverage. There's such a small selection of things that actually beat it one on one that it's so goddamn frustrating.
              
              How is it that all the ban conversations I hear are about Darkrai, Kyurem, and Raging Bolt when all of these pokemon straight up lose to this dumb dog? "Oh, Kyurem runs a mixed coverage set that has loaded dice, icicle spear, and scale shot, that's the real problem!" Those pokemon at least have counter-play. I'd rather play against Unaware Dozo Clod Clef stall every matchup than play against one more drooling ladder player with that dumb Iron defense set where I have to guess if it has Heavy Slam to beat my Fairy type, Crunch to beat my ghost, or fucking Stone Edge to beat my Moltres. This all ignores the fact that no pokemon abuses Tera half as well as this obese bitch. Oh, how quaint, your Valiant outspeeds and has super effective moonblast? Tera Fire Iron Defense go brrrrrrrr. Don't even get me started on those Life Orb attacker sets that have been popping up.
              
              It's enabled the most obnoxious, low IQ teambuilding. Now every damn team is Zama + Glowking + Twave spam. How is one team style running the meta healthy? How is it that Stall sucks? Why I am I running into niche pokemon picks that are chosen just to beat one pokemon, and how come it's never enough? Did everyone forget how boring Gen 8 was? Are we all content to go back to that, where the fat legendary comes in and wins you the game?
              
              Everyday we stray further from Arceus and the beloved Son he sacrificed 'pon the cross, and when the day of reckoning comes, we will all deserve the damnation he will bring upon us. Do you think the creator of everything is happy when he looks at OU and sees that they unbanned this stupid boxart so that everyone can click Iron Defense in unison? Thou shalt not worship false swipe idols.
              
              Zamzenta needs a suspect yesterday. If I'm wrong and the people choose to keep his dumbass in, fine, whatever, but there at least needs to be a vote. This isn't healthy or fun. It's macabre, sick, twisted, and perverse. If there's any justice in this world, the Holy Smogon council will take swift action against this monster, and we'll be better off for it.